angstriddentrashhuman:

Goalies are interesting creatures. Their adorable and smiling face hides a dark secret. Because they’ll be that shiny happy baby with their face tucked into their jersey that wiggles in the the crease to get comfortable and pats the post when it gets hit. But if you knock them down or touch their mask you have activated a secret murder switch and either they or their teammates will fuck you up in 0.2 seconds. Whether the goalie themselves or the team fucks you up is based on several factors including but not limited to the goalies time in the minors, the goalies time as backup, the goalies amount of bullshit handled, and how much the team relies on said goalie. I’m not saying that touching the goalie is a death sentence, just maybe you should have your will in order if you plan to.