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what’s christmas even like in non-christian families? in completely non-religious families? like what do you tell your children? “well, kids, we’re eating a whole lot of food and spending a fuckton of money spoiling you because some other people somewhere believe their holy lord and saviour and the greatest person to walk the earth was born 2000 years ago. here’s a playstation.”

yeah pretty much

i legit didnt know non-christians celebrated christmas… literally never crossed my mind 

We do, and basically it’s like “Hey kids, let’s decorate a tree, exchange presents, eat a fuckload of food, and get a picture with the creepy mall Santa that probably will be arrested next week”. I didn’t even know it was a religious holiday until I was 9

Christmas was celebrated here (in Norway) for several thousand years before Christianity got here. There was literally nothing Christian about it in the beginning, the Christians just figured it’d be easier to say that Jesus was born on a day that was already celebrated than to make up a new holiday and force it on people

Pretty much every culture in the northern hemisphere has had a celebration in the fuck-all heart of winter purely because it’s depressing as fuck when it’s cold all the time and dark for 90% of the time

So long before jesus was born someone was like

“k it’s cold and dark and the view outside is literally identical to our concept of hell but I made you this candle stop being sad”

“There’s literally nothing open, so we’ll order Chinese food and watch shitty movies on Netflix.”

Also, and at the risk of turning this into yet another What The Fuck Australia post, all those European winter traditions are super fucking weird when enacted on an entire continent whose average temperature on Christmas day is frequently in excess of 30 degrees Celsius (that’s in the high 80s/low 90s Farenheit for you Americans). Like, I get that there are parts of the States that are also hot in December, but at least you guys habitually get snow and cold as well, to say nothing of the fact that many of your native plants and animals bear at least some resemblance to the traditional European equivalents. 

Whereas here, there are zero ambient reindeer or any related ungulates, no native evergreens (to my knowledge) and – well. In short, this is why we have Christmas carols about Santa’s sleigh being pulled by kangaroos (”Six White Boomers”) and an Aussie-specific version of Jingle Bells about driving around in a rusty Holden ute.  

Christmas on Barbados was HILARIOUS. Lots of reggae versions of ‘I’m Dreaming Of A White Christmas’ and barechested guys with santa hats. Santa Claus arrived on a jetski