Horse Terms for Non-Horsey People

Green: A horse that doesn’t know shit. A kid horse. A lil punk horse.
Bridle: The head thing for riding.
Halter: The head thing for leading.
Lead rope: Horse leash.
Pony: A shorter, stockier equine. NOT a baby horse. Sometimes also used as a term of endearment towards larger horses.
Dressage: Fancy-ass horse dance.
Lunging: Making the horse go in circles around you on a long line, sometimes with another person on its back. Good way to teach Green horses the basics and a good way to start new riders.
Stirrup: Where your foot goes when you get on.
Girth: Horse belt.
Boots and Polo Wraps: Thingies that go on the horse’s legs to protect them. NOT casts.
Fly Mask: NOT A BLINDFOLD
Schoolie: A horse that will teach you what’s what and also possibly kill you. Usually ornery pieces of shit but also indispensable and amazing.
Paint: cow horse.
Warmblood: Large, fancy, lovable-weirdo-type horse.
Mare: Female horse. Probably thinking about the easiest way to make you cower in fear right now.
Gelding: Castrated male horse. Probably fearfully eyeing the mare.
Stallion: Un-castrated male horse. Probably eyeing the mare with a mixture of fear and lust.
Nicker: A grunting noise a horse makes when it’s “happy to see you” (read: looking for treats).