nestofstraightlines:

spookyfbi:

mautlyn:

kayabebe:

Must be nice to be a man and feel absolutely zero guilt or concern while you sit on your arse in front of the tv as your wife frantically runs herself into the ground with the never ending grind of holiday cooking/cleaning/gifting/wrapping/decorating/tidying/arranging/crafts/familial politics

it always bewilders and offends me that at family gatherings all of the women are up cleaning, cooking, clearing the table after dinner, bringing snacks out, etc., and all of the men are just relaxing and sitting around. I’m also up cleaning, clearing peoples’ plates, etc., because I’m expected to do that as a female, while my male cousins get to sit around and chill. Even the male relatives that I like just sit around and chat and don’t seem to notice that my sister and I are constantly being called into the kitchen and they’re not.

so anyway yeah if you’re a male you should seriously try to pay attention to who’s doing all the work and who’s allowed to sit and chill (probably you) and maybe like, get up and insist on helping…

Last Christmas every time I was given a job to do I’d go into the lounge room and take note of how many grown men were standing around, beer in hand, doing nothing (usually about 6), and I’d go back to the person who gave me the job and let them know the names of all the men who also needed jobs to do. This year two of my male cousins joined me helping out in the kitchen, so progress. Don’t accept the status quo, give the boys and men jobs as well.

My dad and brother are not bad at all but the lack of intuition and guilt in male behaviour at these times always astounds me.

(And I am totally stereotyping, I have make friends who I know think just like I do about this).

I can be lazy as hell but I just don’t the ability to not be aware that my mum is in the kitchen sweeping up or something and that I should go and help.

The male ability to not see female work sometimes is incredible.

And there’s a fair amount of comments on this along the lines of ‘tell the men what to do’ or ‘give people jobs’ which kind of misses the point of the problem, certainly of the post. Why should women and girls be the cross mummies telling off the men? We want to be carefree and drunk and all of that too.

Families are communities where people should be attentive to each other’s need for support. Women tend to be better at that only cos they’re socialised to be.

And to those people saying ‘don’t bitch on tumblr just tell them what to do’… we do. But we (those of us who are into men) also resolve never ourselves to be with men like our dads, however much we love them. It’s just not acceptable to be this kind of man any more, and neither do women so readily accept it’s their job to school men on How To Adult. If you’re a heedless shit of a man, women now are less likely to roll their eyes and forbear. They just won’t go out with you.

And if any young women need to hear it… be very wary of boyfriends you see taking this attitude to their mum at home. Don’t let them turn you into the next woman who looks after them. Your time and energy are so precious. And even if you love domestic stuff, skills for cooking, hosting and homemaking are real skills – not to be wasted on people who take them for granted.