This AU idea came from a conversation with @tcf-dendral in which I said that Obi-Wan is always randomly finding things of massive import (who happens to discover an already-paid-for clone army of 3 million and then stumbles into a droid army hiding in the Outer Rim? seriously) that if he hadn’t been on Tatooine with Qui-Gon and Padme, they probably wouldn’t have found Anakin at all. And then Dendral said that he didn’t play any particularly important role while on Tatooine, anyway, and I was like, well, Qui-Gon couldn’t very well just leave him on Naboo, he’s his Padawan.
…BUT WHAT IF HE DID?
So, TPM AU where instead of going with Qui-Gon and the Queen to Coruscant, Obi-Wan stays behind on Naboo, to provide support for the people in any way he can while they’re under siege. He ends up, of course, stumbling into the underground resistance movement and joins them. (Qui-Gon is Not Impressed when he finds out later. “You led another resistance movement?”
“I didn’t!” Obi-Wan protests, quickly re-holstering the blaster he had been using in lieu of his lightsaber because they couldn’t let the Trade Federation know that there was a Jedi there helping out the Naboo people.
“Like all the other times you “didn’t” lead a resistance movement or fight in a war?”
“I didn’t do those either! Didn’t you read my reports on those incidents that I submitted to the Council, Master?”
Qui-Gon sighs.)
Meanwhile, since magnet-for-trouble Obi-Wan isn’t with Qui-Gon and the Queen, they actually have a smooth trip back to Coruscant. She presents her suit to the Senate, they decline to help her, and she returns to Naboo determined to use military force to break the blockade.
Maul is still goes to confront Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan but since there’s no tension between them, they’re able to work together and defeat him. Qui-Gon doesn’t die. Obi-Wan still gets Knighted.
On his first solo mission, Obi-Wan’s ship crash lands on Tatooine.
#STAR WARS #I WANT TO READ A NOVEL LENGTH FIC ABOUT THIS #ALSO IM LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY BC #NINE YEAR OLD ANAKIN BEING UTTERLY STRUCK BY THIS YOUNG JEDI KNIGHT ALA PADME #OBIWAN IMPRESSIVELY JUST … DOESN’T … NOTICE SOMEHOW BC WHAT IS SELF-WORTH #AND ALSO ANAKIN IS A TINY NINE YEAR OLD CHILD #THANKS TO REGULAR VISITS THOUGH ANAKIN ACTUALLY MANAGES TO KEEP HIS COOL AND NOT PROPOSE MARRIAGE STRAIGHT AWAY #(OR MAYBE HE DOES AND OBIWAN IS JUST ????? YOU’RE ALREADY FREE/A CITIZEN????? #IT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE FOR ME TO MARRY SHMI???? #AND THAT’S WHY ANAKIN SLAMS THE BREAKS ON IT BECAUSE NO. NO OBIWAN. NOT MY MOM) #MEANWHILE BOTH DEX AND SHMI ARE LIKE ‘ANAKIN PLS DON’T MAKE THINGS AWKWARD UR A KID OMG’ #SO ANAKIN JUST … KIND OF … ‘AM I AN ADULT _NOW_’ THE ENTIRE TIME #LMAO DAD/UNCLE!DEX IM …… #SHMI IS JUST ‘I WON’T APPROVE UNTIL YOU’RE A MATURE ADULT ANAKIN’ #AND ANAKIN SPENDS THE ENTIRE TIME LOOKING FOR WAYS TO PROVE HE’S A MATURE ADULT #MEANWHILE OBIWAN IS ENTIRELY CLUELESS AND IS OFF ACCIDENTALLY SEDUCING MULTIPLE WORLD LEADERS AND SITH #IMAGINE FINALLY SHMI TELLS ANAKIN ‘OKAY I WILL APPROVE’ DESPITE NEVER IMAGINING ANAKIN HOLDING ON THIS LONG #AND ANAKIN IS SEVERELY STARTLED BY WHAT SHE CONSIDERED HIM PROVING HIMSELF OT BE A MATURE ADULT #BUT HELL YEAH ITS TIME TO SEDUCE OBIWAN EXCELLENT #BUT IMAGINE THEM ENDING UP ON A MISSION TOGETHER SOMEHOW (THANKS TO ANAKIN’S WORK? I GUESS????) #AND ANAKIN JUST SEETHING WITH JEALOUSY WHEN ONE OF OBIWAN’S ENEMIES SHOW UP AND IT’S NONSTOP FLIRTING #AGAIN … NOT THAT OBIWAN REALIZES ANY OF THIS #OBIWAN JUST CAUSALLY HAS CHEMISTRY WITH INANIMATE OBJECTS AND THE FORCE NBD #ANYWAY ALSO ACCIDENTAL FORCE BONDS TBH BC ANAKIN IS SUPER POWERFUL AND THE FORCE WORKS LIKE THAT APPARENTLY #I MEAN AT NO POINT DID QUI-GON WANT OR TRY TO BOND WITH OBI-WAN BUT IT HAPPENED ANYWAY #MOSTLY WITHOUT HIM NOTICING #IMAGINE ANAKIN FRANTICALLY COMMING OBIWAN ‘ARE YOU OKAY OMG’ ALL THE TIME #‘YES ANAKIN IM FINE IT WAS JUST THE SITH’ ‘WTF HOW IS THAT FINE’ #ANAKIN HATES THE SITH THEY MAKE HIS BOND WITH OBI-WAN ALL JANGLY (via @themikeymonster)
I LOVE THESE TAGS. You have made my whole week with these tags. YES TO ALL OF THIS.
I’m grinning so hugely, you have no idea. This would happen lol – Obi-Wan is just a magnet for trouble in every form. And Anakin absOLUTELY has a tendency to fixate on the individuals he is infatuated with/cares about and become unhealthily jealous of their every interaction with other beings. At least in this scenario, he has a more stable childhood and still has his mother both for emotional support and to help keep him in line.
#ANAKIN HATES THE SITH THEY MAKE HIS BOND WITH OBI-WAN ALL JANGLY (@themikeymonster) – OK, but tell me that’s how they find out Palpatine’s a Sith, y/y? Palpatine doesn’t know Anakin’s Force sensitive since he never became a Jedi or got called the Chosen One + Anakin has incredible shielding after spending all those years on it (look, he was trying to impress Obi-Wan, OK?!!), so when Anakin ends up alone in the same room with Palpatine by accident, Palpatine doesn’t bother shielding too hard. And Anakin, what with his ridiculous force strength, immediately recognizes that there’s something off with his bond with Obi-Wan. Which obviously means Sith. Again.
Cue him asking Obi-Wan via their Super Strong Force Bond™, “What’s happened, are you OK, do I need to come rescue you again? Just say the word and I’ll –”
Obi-Wan rolls his eyes and cuts off his friend’s frantic babbling. “I’m fine, Anakin. I’m sitting in my quarters at the Temple drinking a cup of tea.”
“But then why…?”
And that’s when the proverbial lightbulb comes on.
Anakin was also motivated to perfect his shielding because Obi-Wan used to sneak up on him all the time to pour glasses of water/sand over his head or just shout and startle the life out of Anakin and then laugh himself silly. Anakin could never reciprocate because Obi-Wan always sensed him coming. Until one day he finally perfected his shielding to the point that Obi-Wan didn’t feel him sneaking up on him and Anakin splashed a bucket of water at his back and cackled when Obi-Wan yelped. (This was before Anakin grew to be taller than Obi-Wan. And he’s come a long way to be able waste water like that and not feel like someone was going to die because of it.) That was the only time he could pull off that prank. But he’ll always remember Obi-Wan smiling at him, hair and robes soaked and dripping with water. “Alright, you got me good, Anakin. Now keep up that shielding.”
Anyway, but yes, that is totally how they find out about Palpatine. Obi-Wan tells Anakin to get out of there “and don’t let on that you know about him.” The Jedi and certain trusted Senators work together to figure out Palpatine’s scheme and plan a surgical strike to take him out. (It’s successful, the war ends, and everyone gets to work on rebuilding and detangling the mess that Palpatine mired them in.)
I like things neatly wrapping up as much as anyone, but I’m also thinking like … This is Anakin we’re talking about here. Even an Anakin who is a fairly well adjusted civilian is … still Anakin. This Anakin has never had any personal run-ins with the Sith, and more importantly, has probably never realized entirely how dangerous Obi-Wan’s lifestyle is.
I’m thinking Anakin realizing that Palps is a Sith and being like
(ง’̀-‘́)งI can take him
No Ani, no you can not just take him. Get away from there.
Anakin just constantly demanding to be let in on the plans to get Palps like let me help, I can do it! He’s always been in a bad mood over the fact that Obi-Wan spends so much time in danger, but having come so close to the instigator of all that trouble, he’s just constantly let me at ‘em!
can’t fight every politician
You bring up some really good points! Anakin totally would go off half-cocked when he realizes who Palpatine is. His head may not have been filled with all that Chosen One prophecy nonsense but he’s still protective of those he loves and would take on anyone for them. But here, Anakin’s never been trained to use the Force offensively so it’s not what he automatically turns to in a fight. Instead, I’m imagining Anakin trying to throw himself physically at the Chancellor on impulse. The guards get to him before he makes contact and arrests him, then throws him in prison overnight. The Chancellor thinks he’s just one of the anti-war protesters who managed to get into the Senate building somehow so he doesn’t pay him any mind. Dex and Shmi have to come bail him out and he’s banned from the Senate building. (And he’s probably gonna have to go to trial for it because trying to attack the Chancellor, even with just fists, would be considered a pretty big crime.)
He goes to the Temple and crashes one of the strategy meetings. Most of the Jedi there are like ‘wtf, how did you get into this war room? it’s locked with the Force and only a Jedi can open it.’ and Obi-Wan’s just like ‘uh, this is a friend of mine. he’s Force sensitive but untrained. we may have Force bonded.’
More on the topic of Anakin+water under the cut because this is getting long.
I love this. But what has Qui Gon Jinn being doing this whole time? Apart of missing Obi Wan like ALL THE TIME. He would just be in a diplomacy mission, that is going flawlessly well for the first time in a DECADE and just, turn his head to the left to tell Obi wan to be prepared bc all is probably going to go to shit and- there’s no one there. So he concentrates to the mission and ignores the hole in his chest and ALL IS GOING WELL LIKE THERE’S NOT SECRET PLOT, NO SECRET ARMY, NO PREBUSCENT BOYS RECRUITING HIS PADAWAN and Qui Gon just- ‘Uh, this is what normal feeled like’ And at the end of the mission he’s reporting for the council feeling so unsatisfied that it couldn’t be shielded so the council ask and Qui Gon responds ‘It was just to prefect. It’s highly suspicious’ And Master Windu just can’t with that guy.
Your tags are also amazing:
Obi Wan and the GundarkLike beuty and the beats But with a pet owner relationshipRi-Lara just have the perfect nose/whatever gundarks have to sniff out bounty hunters that want to harm his masteri’m not sure where she stays thoughBut Anakin and her would HATE each otherWITH THE PASSION OF ANAKINS HATRED OF SANDOF A THOUSAND SUNS She would love Shmi thoughLike inmediatly after seeing here CUDDLE BUDDYAnakin is just so stressed bc his dear future husband and his mom DON’T WANNA BELIEVE WHEN HE SAYS THAT GUNDARK IS A SIH SPAWN FROM HELLAnd Qui Gon Just at a totally ordinary diplomacy missionJUST WAITING TO SHIT TO HIT THE FANLIKE ‘FORCE DON’T LET ME I KNOW STH BAD IS GOING TO HAPPENIT ALWAYS HAPPENSFORCE WHY DON’T YOU GIVE ME BAD FEELINGS FORCETHERE MUST BE A DARK SIDER INVOLVED TO CLOUD YOUDON’ WORRY FORCE I STILL BELIEVE IN YOUAnd the rest of the mission people be likeWow how nice is to have a Jedi mediating this meetingsThey are running so smothlyThis would have take us months other wise And the Council be likeCongratulations Master Jinn You are our most efficient KnightNot like that padawan of yours Haven’t you heard? (x)
LMAO and YES TO ALL OF THIS. I love it. I’ve been sitting here cackling like you have no idea. This is the best. Qui-Gon all perplexed like “is this what missions used to be like? is this what missions are like for other Jedi? they…actually…turn out fine?” There are no more “helpless” creatures finding him and following him, no more being chased through jungles or getting into planetary wars (which in a way is good because he is getting older but he’s also so so bored). Obi-Wan meanwhile is traveling the galaxy getting adopted by wild creatures left and right, starting and putting out literal and metaphorical fires, getting his missions done but also getting side-tracked and taking care of a bunch of random things along the way. He keeps bringing lifeforms he’s found back to Coruscant and the Temple.
Years later, when the clone wars start, absolutely no one is surprised to learn that Obi-Wan was the one to discover both armies. Oh, and at some point, Obi-Wan somehow encounters Boga and she adopts him and follows him home because I love her and need her to be in in this world in some way. But how will she and Ri-Lara get along??? Where will all of them live???
Well at one point The jedi council will just go ‘The hell With it, this place is pretty big and these weird EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND LOVESICK creatures just keep coming in, let’s just give The guy a wing. Or sth
And of course Oboga wan happens. Their relationship is just to precious to not to. And she and Ri-Lara would be that pair of old ladies that bitches about everyone (more anakin than anybody bc hating him is just a must if Obi Wan adopts you. Like that Assaj. She still hasn’t join them, but they have time) and knew each other since diapers
Also, meanwhile everyone is frEAKING about Obi wan’s terrible luck he is obvious. Just doing extraordinary things everyday like a normal thing to do, you know? Sure that two days of secret-planet-with-secret-clone-army-and-grandmaster-turncloack was a little intense, but he’s pretty sure he started a cult in Tatooine somehow and Jawa The Hutt still comns him to curse him un huttese (Anakin didn’t aprove, so he insulted back- The argument lasted five hours. There were even breaks) sometimes so, yes, he just basically tales everything in stride
(He swears The rest just like to exagerate. Really. It’s sweet that they worry about him that much though)
Oh. And there’s The sith. Somehow -and no, he can’t figure out why- every darksider he mets ends up slighty obsessed With him. Just because.
(And then there’s Anakin Skywalker and Qui Con Jinn ‘let’s go to al missions together. Like a team’ Obi Wan loves them, really, but don’t they realize that they’re both a giant, glowing, DANGER MAGNET!??)Oooh, yes, I like the idea of Obi-Wan getting a whole wing of the Temple to himself. I was thinking he’d have to move to a planet with a more natural environment for for Boga and Ri-Lara. But a whole wing, probably on the same floor as the gardens, would work quite nicely. That whole area becomes a playground for those two; soon, all the Jedi start avoiding it and they get used to hear roars and crashes coming from there during the day. And sometimes pitiful wailing when Obi-Wan’s gone for too long on a mission. Those are somehow the worst.
Anakin’s going to have to strike up a truce with them if he wants to marry Obi-Wan (and he still does). He adds a phase to his plan: Befriend the Terrors.
And haha, one day Ventress shows up at the Temple and Jedi are scrambling for their lightsabers and then Mace notices that she hasn’t lit hers. She’s just calmly standing there, arms crossed and one brow raised and Mace sighs and is like “let me guess, you’re looking for Kenobi?” She gives a short nod and he has her escorted to Obi-Wan’s wing, secretly hoping that one of Obi-Wan’s feral pets will eat her. (They don’t, they quite like her.)
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