emilyenrose:

emilyenrose:

emilyenrose:

On Saturday I went to the opera with a friend and we started putting together an Objectively Perfect romantic fantasy. It goes like this:

SHE is a high-powered highly paid something in the City. Executives tremble before her. She is in her forties and wears exquisitely tailored suits and works fourteen hour days. She does not have time for love.

YOU are a poverty-stricken late-twenties millennial who will never be able to afford a house.

You meet by chance (you are a waitress at a corporate event, perhaps.) She has been thinking of setting up a mistress for a while. She buys you a cottage in the country. She does not live there: she has a flat in central London worth seven figures. Every other weekend she comes down to visit you, in your cottage, and her only requirements are that you need to have cooked something and you should be wearing a low-cut top. She has given you a credit card so you can buy the kind of clothes she likes to see you in. She really does not mind what you do with yourself the rest of the time. Every once in a while she needs a date to an event (an opera, gallery opening, colleague’s wedding to his fourth wife). Sometimes this involves flying you out to New York. The flight is always business class.

She is pretty bossy in the bedroom, but you’re into that.

Eventually you fall in love, but it takes a while because she is so, so busy. Meanwhile you look after your little cottage, practice cooking delicious food, and work on your book. It is heaven.

(She looks a bit like Cate Blanchett in a designer suit. You look like whatever your favourite result is when you Google ‘cute floral dress’.)

Some important addenda to this post:

– Robin Wright is an acceptable alternative to Cate Blanchett
– if Googling ‘cute floral dress’ doesn’t work for you, try ‘cute florals + your body type’
– there is no such thing as not being cute enough for this fantasy. this fantasy is for everyone.
– people who would rather identify with the successful career woman who uses her financial and social power to scoop her cute girlfriend out of poverty and misery: you are extremely valid, I bet you look incredible in a suit, and half of tumblr would like you to call them