onthursdays:

#as much as I love (love) the tension between leia and han on hoth and speculating where it came from (they had sex)     #there must have been a couple long months where it was this     #han couldn’t keep up the disaffected nonchalance forever he wasn’t even very good at it to begin with     #leia couldn’t be guarded and grudging all the time; not when she had this pair of unlikely boys slip into her life     #filling the void that was alderaan with laughter and pranks and whining and commentary on how akbar was wearing his whiskers     #it becomes a very common sight—commander organa in the hangar; sitting on a barrel or a stack of crates     #talking at luke as he does pre-flight checks on the x-wing or keeping up one-sided conversation with han and chewie as they work on the falc     #(“do you ever stop talking princess?” han asks once     #but it’s fond it’s immeasurably fond and she scrunches up her nose as she tries not to smile     #he’s always trying to make her smile)     #only one day she looks up from her hands—she had been gesturing with them as she spoke; a habit she picked up from breha     #and there’s han     #sitting right there his face turned up to her and a look of wondering attention on his face     #it’s so startling she falls silent; swallows whatever she had been about to say     #“oh I didn’t mean—you don’t have to stop” han says apologetically. “I liked that one.”     #“what was I talking about?” leia asks and she feels suddenly hot; stupid—she hates how close he is     #how soft his eyes are on her     #how he says “non-human labor movements” and then actually leans forward on his elbows and listens     #how she can’t help glancing at his mouth sometimes; incidentally     #she hates it all she hates how sharp and significant and vital it makes everything she hates how she can’t     #stop feeling like something’s been taken out of her     #and given to someone else; not a vital organ nothing so essential     #but still something she would rather have kept safe in her control     #(she wonders what would happen if she leaned forward too)