people pleasers, please read

cricketcat9:

As a former people-pleaser, I think it’s an xcellent article:

https://lonerwolf.com/people-pleasing/  a small excerpt here:

16 Habits of People-Pleasing Personality Types

At some point or another, we have all struggled with people-pleasing. After all, as social creatures, we are prone to peer pressure and the desire to fit in. But there is a big difference between the desire for acceptance and people-pleasing. People-pleasing is not just a once-in-a-while foible: it’s a daily struggle.

Here are 16 common habits:

• You struggle to say “no”
• You find it hard to be assertive and voice your opinions
• You’re hyper-vigilant about perceived rejection from others (always on the lookout)
• You’re an emotophobe (you fear negative emotions)
• You’re excessively altruistic/philanthropic
• You often suffer at the expense of doing a favor for others
• You have a weak sense of self and poor interpersonal boundaries
• You become emotionally dependent/co-dependent when in relationships/friendships
• You’re addicted to approval from others
• You have a neurotic desire to be liked no matter what
• You feel shattered for days or weeks when someone criticises you
• You have low self-worth
• You act based on what “other people think” of you
• You always put yourself in other’s shoes, but you rarely show compassion towards yourself
• You blindly believe in other people’s “goodness” even if they are clearly abusive towards you
• You fear losing control of yourself because you repress so much

It’s also said that people-pleasing can form a bridge to other conditions such as borderline personality disorder and social anxiety disorder.