xonmybullshitx:

galactichippie91:

shadowraiku:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

Who wants to guess how many bags of peaches are in my dad’s freezer?

The answer is:

Too fucking many

This is gonna make … a lot of jam …….

So, I managed to fit all but one big bowl of peaches into the two stock pots …

An hour and a half later, here they are simmering away …

How long is it gonna take to reduce them to jam, you ask?? Fuck if I know at this size lmao

In case you were wondering, it is, in fact, longer than 5 hours, as I am still stirring this jam over the oven 🙂 🙂 🙂

Oh and also there was another large bowl of peaches in the other fridge that I did not see until later, so I did not in fact fit ALL the peaches into the stock pots

On a brighter note, the whole house smells like a Victorian Christmas dinner

Hello again friends, it is currently REAL JAMMING TIME and I have been in stirring hell for seven hours

Went through two whole containers of pectin and a bunch of cornstarch already and things are looking just PEACHY

So, uh, the first stock pot alone yielded 272 ounces, so I … may have accidentally made about 68 8oz jars of jam …… and I only had 36 jars …

Guess I’m going back to the store tomorrow … and going to have to join the local farmers market to sell them …

Anyway, TEN CONTINUOUS HOURS OF WORK LATER, here I am at around 3am sealing my first batch of jars … (entire other stock pot of jam lurks ominously in the background)

God, it’s like when you overestimate how much pasta you’re gonna end up with, only 300% worse

So I woke up today after sleeping like a log to fibd my dad had already gone back to the store (which is like 30 min away) and gotten me more jars because he saw that I needed them

As you can see one of those pachages is the wrong size jar (4oz) so we’ll see if I can fit all the jam into these suckers (plus the two 8oz ones I had leftover)

My dad also put all the jars of jam in the fridge, although since they were all properly sealed (aw yeah) was totally unnecessary lol

He said he accidentally dropped one on the way to the fridge but I checked and it amazingly A) didn’t break, and B) remained properly sealed, so hats off to Ball corp, and also me I guess

Update: WE BE JAMMIN’

Spices I used for this recipe:

-Cinnamon

-Nutmeg

-Ginger

-Allspice

-Vanilla Extract

The combination worked out very well!

Gotta can the rest of it after I eat tho 😛

So, I FINALLY managed to can all the jam, except for like … 6 oz of it, so I made shortbread cookies to use that with 😉

Altogether I did end up with 72 jars of jam, 12 of which are the 4oz size though. What the fuck am I gonna do with all this jam, jesus christ

Anyway, thanks for coming to my jam-filled TED talk guys, take care

send me some jam op

This is my bfs grandparents with pecans. They have two full deep freezers filled with pecans

These math problem weirdos need to be stopped

shanastoryteller:

chihiro never forgets her time spent in the spirit world,
because that’s no fun for anyone. she never forgets her friends, how could she?
she holds them all close to her heart, which is where they belong, especially
her beautiful white dragon.

hake is hers as
far as she’s concerned, but she’s his too, so it’s all nice fair. of course,
haku thinks that she doesn’t know he exists, but that’s okay. she’ll go find
him again one day.

because chihiro plans to return to the spirit world. but she
knows the time isn’t right, that if she just goes darting through every place
where the boundary between their worlds runs thin, then nothing will change. as
is, she’s just a little girl, just a helpless little girl who will get lost and
killed in the world of her friends, of her dragon. so she doesn’t go back.

she could. now
that she knows what to look for, she sees entrances to the spirit world
everywhere. they’re rarely in the exact same place twice but she knows what to
look for, how to find them if she wants to, how to get back to rin and kamaji
and zeniba. but she’s not ready yet.

she needs to get stronger.

her family’s not religious, so they’re surprised when she
asks to go visit shrines, but maybe it’s for the history or the culture, or,
they don’t know, the architecture. it’s a simple thing, and so they go.

chihiro keeps her eyes peeled, because she’s looking for something
in particular.

she’s looking for a shrine with a lot of spirits living in
it.

oh, because that’s another thing she can do now.

she can see spirits.

not ghosts, not
the echoes of the dead. but spirits, nature spirits mostly, but tricksters and
guardians, and all sorts, really. so they visit shrine after shrine, and there
are sprits there, of course, but never enough, none of them are there for anything
but the offerings, and that’s not what chihiro is looking for.

it takes months, and she’s already started school, settling
into it easier than she knew she could. after her adventures in the spirit world,
human children are nothing. but one day she visits a shrine, and she knows it’s
the one. it’s small, nothing impressive, all the way at the top of a long hill.

but she knows she’s found what she’s looking for. someone
who can help her.

there’s an old priestess taking care of it all on her own,
and all around her dart spirits, some lingering, some running by and doing
nothing more than patting her on the shoulder or back, but all of them
acknowledging her in some way. she takes one look at chihiro and says, “looking
for an apprenticeship, then?”

her parents start to say no, but she interrupts them, says, “yes,
i am,” and her parents don’t understand, but they have no reason to deny her,
so they don’t.

“it’s been a while since i’ve seen someone else who was
spirit touched,” she says the first day that chihiro returns, this time on her
own.

“what happened to you?” she asks, and knows the old
priestess will understand. those with the ability to interact with the spirit
world aren’t born. they’re made.

“a spirit saved my life as a child,” she answers. “you?”

she grins. “a river spirit saved me. once when i was
younger, and then again just a few months ago. i’m going to back to him.”

“returning willingly to the spirit world is foolish, and
dangerous,” she says, but there’s something like approval in her eyes.

“yes,” she says, “teach me how to survive it.”

so the priestess does. chihiro becomes known to the local
spirits, helping them however she can just like the old woman. plenty of
guardian spirits offer to attach themselves to her, to mark her as under their
protection, but she always refuses. there’s only one spirit who’s mark she’s
willing to carry.

years pass, and chihiro grows, from a girl to a young woman.
she grows up strong, and beautiful, and thanks to her years under the
priestess, she grows up powerful. she learns how to shoot arrows that cut
spirits and to write spells on rice paper, she learns every inch of the forests
around her home and the spirits that dwell there, and on the day she graduates
high school she moves into the temple.

but she’s not planning to stay.

“i hope he’s worth it,” the priestess tells her.

chihiro grins, sharp and eager, and says, “i guess i’m going
to find out.”

she walks into the woods and slips through one of the places
where the border is too thin, and enters the spirit world once more. she has
her bow and her ink, and this time she’s not going to be easy prey, she’s not
going to be someone that has to be saved or coddled.

she’s come here for her dragon, and she won’t let anything
get in her way. it’s haku, and haku alone, who will be able to turn her away.
if he rejects her, she’ll leave. but for no other reason.

it takes her a long time to get to the bathhouse, to fight
and bargain her way there, because before it was an obstacle, so it came to her
easily, but now it’s a goal, so this world holds it back from her. but she won’t
let it stay out of her grasp forever. when she arrives she’s filthy and tired
and half her arrows are missing, her clothes are different, and she’s older. by
how much she doesn’t know, because time isn’t the same in here, but she’s not
the same girl who entered.

the whole realm is talking of her, of the human who walks
among them and won’t be chased away, of the girl who marched across the endless
marshes until she reached the end, something few ever manage, and then just
kept going. who aids those in need and destroys those who stand in her way.

when she walks through the bathhouse doors, haku is there.

“it’s you,” he says, eyes wide, and he looks older too, like
breaking free of yubaba’s curse finally allowed him to grow up. “i didn’t think
it could be. i didn’t think it was possible.”

she marches forward, grinning, and grips the front of his snow
white shirt with her muddy hands. “anything is possible. you taught me that.”

she kisses him, exhausted and filthy and feeling more alive
than she ever has. she kisses him like it’s the last thing she’ll ever do, because
it just might be, because if she angers him, then he could easily kill her.

he doesn’t kill her.

he kisses her back.

chihiro gets exactly what she wanted – her friends, a place
in the spirit world, and a reputation as someone who’s dangerous, even as a
human.

and her dragon husband, of course. she gets that too.

tiger-in-the-flightdeck:

xabjectlessonsx:

barringtonhigh:

when channing tatum was 16 he dated a guy and he’s spoken about it in great length and referred to himself as not-straight so stop calling him part of straight culture lmao

CHANNING TATUM LOVES MEN and works really hard to remind everyone of that all the time and somehow it keeps getting rewritten and forgotten because queer erasure is WILD, support Channing Tatum, man, he’s the genuinely kind inoffensive white normy looking guy we all dream of existing but think can’t be real, Channing unicorn Tatum

It was so disappointing when he went to Pride after he came out, and was happy and dancing and waving his flags, then it was posted all over the place as “This is how you be a straight ally.”

grumpycakes:

dynastylnoire:

writernotwaiting:

hellenhighwater:

astolen98saturnsedan:

luadell:

thisnewdevilry:

sputnikcentury:

teapotsahoy:

lovedsomuch:

warsfeils:

anubituf:

harukami:

last-snowfall:

weareallmedie:

firedanceryote:

reptila-tequila:

qeilla:

thefreckledavantgardegoober:

mysticmisfit89:

Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada…..

No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck.

And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car.

moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.”

like, fuck off with that

I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals.

They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”

Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people.

Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night.

Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away.

I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING

Moose are terrifying, you guys.

I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist.

I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside.

If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah. 

Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month. 

Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD.

Moose. MOOSE.

I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this.

The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that.

Moose confirmed for actual kaiju.

Kaiju category: Maple.  

Now I kinda want a kaiju movie set in Canada where it’s just a moose. Like a regular moose but more aggressive.

@ssalogel

For scale, a female african elephant is 7.2-8.5 feet at the shoulder, according to Wikipedia. A moose is 

4.6 – 6.9 ft. at the shoulder. So instead of thinking “This animal is a bit bigger than a deer” you can think “This animal is barely smaller than an elephant”

And they can run up to 40 miles per hour

A 16 wheeler with fur

this post is so long but just have to, I live in michigan (canada lite) and we were out at like some famous Mission in the woods up north. We hear a sound that we slowly start to assume is a Moose and my DAD STARS WALKING TOWARDS IT TO SEE. MY MOM HAVING GOOD SENSE AND BEING A DECENT GOD FEARING ADULT WAS LIKE “JOE, DON’T GO LOOK. JOE MOSE CHARGE. JOE!!!!!”

Dad comes back a minute later laughing his ass off cause what we’d been hearing were cars hitting the RUMBLE STRIPS ON THE HIGHWAY CLOSE TO THE OLD MISSION.

So two things we call rumble strips moose strips now

and my dad doesn’t HAVE ENOUGH SENSE TO KNOW MOOSE ARE DEATH CREATURES

madmaudlingoes:

sergeant-angels-trashcan:

thegestianpoet:

chris hemsworth is like a DnD character whose class 100% does not require a high charisma stat but he put it as his highest stat anyways like “hmm I think it will be useful (:” so he just walks around as a muscle-bound brawler who can also inexplicably get anything he wants from anyone by smiling at them 

Him and Terry Crews

Terry Crews: high-level fighter who also multiclassed into bard, for some reason.

Chris Hemsworth: that barbarian who loves to knit.

autistic-pinkie:

Those old “Oh Chuck Norris is so strong he could beat up anyone.” memes from like 2007 are so fucking dumb. Like, I could name off at least 20 or so people that could kick his ass, for example;

  • Gandalf the Gray
  • Gandalf the White
  • Monty Python and the Holy Grail’s Black Night
  • Benito Mussolini
  • Blue Meanie
  • Cowboy Curtis
  • Jambi the Genie
  • Robocop
  • The Terminator
  • Captain Kirk
  • Darth Vader
  • Lo-Pan
  • Superman
  • Every single Power Ranger
  • Bill S Preston
  • Theodore Logan
  • Spock
  • The Rock
  • Doc Oc
  • Hulk Hogan

I can’t think of anymore but please feel free to add on

verycorrectavengersquotes:

Baby Spider and Momma Spider

Peter: *crashes into the tower through the window* AM I LATE?!

Tony: Peter, we have a fucking door.

Natasha: Peter, no.

Tony: Thank you Nat! See what I mean, Peter?

Natasha: You have to have the minimum momentum to get through, so you break less glass and make less noise.

Tony: NAtaSha nO