these are colorblind glasses. im about to take a walk around the neighborhood and experience colors like normal people. wish me luck, updates to come.
the trees. holy shit the trees. theyre different colors. like, a million different colors
grass….. it looks so soft… so green…
after laying in the grass for about an hour staring at the autumn leaves and laughing at how blue the sky is, i have some insight to share:
why the fuck do you people buy red cars like i had no idea how bright and obnoxious they looked
there are BERRIES on the trees. like bright red. id never noticed them because they blended in. a new problem has arisen now: how the fuck do you people keep yourselves from trying to eat them they’re so tempting looking
the fallen leaves are so beautiful and colorful and you all are heathens for stepping on them just to hear the crunchy sound they make
rainbows. let me tell you about rainbows. i see rainbows as various shades of brown and yellow, plus some blue. vaguely purple.
a few days ago, i saw a rainbow in these glasses. it had just finished raining and then the sun came out, and my friend and i scrambled out the door.
i saw green. red. orange. real, actual violet.
i cried. i cried so hard. i saw every color – something i never thought would happen in my life. imagine living your life without knowing something so beautiful exists, and all of a sudden it appears before your eyes. theres no way to prepare for it. the rainbow only lasted for five minutes before it disappeared, but every with second i stood there i became more amazed at how beautiful this world actually is, i just had no idea.
god, lesbians are so different from men it’s pretty insane that some people try to group us with them. the amount of lesbians i’ve seen genuinely terrified that they’re making another woman uncomfortable and doing everything in their power to make sure that woman feels safe EVEN IF the other woman feeling uncomfortable comes from lesophobia and isn’t valid at all is wild. like i think some of us who worry we’re “perpetuating the male gaze” or whatever forget that men literally NEVER think of these things, they never think, “oh am i making her uncomfortable? i’m afraid that i am” like. holy shit if a man ever said that i think i’d have a stroke from how surprised i would be
hey this post actually goes double for trans lesbians who have an even more harmful predatory stereotype against them, y’all are wonderful and not predatory thank you
Cafés don’t have clocks because they are timeless places
there’s a cafe in my town called time and it has clocks all over the walls, but none of them are the same or the right time, so like, #confirmed
That café is the entry to the faery world sorry I don’t make the rules
“Do not eat or drink fairy food.”
“I know… but have you tried their lattes?”
okay but the whole thing about not accepting fairy food or drink is that they give it to you and you then owe them something for it
so like, if it’s a normal cafe and you pay for your coffee & muffin you’d technically be okay since you paid them
so what I’m saying is, fairies starting coffee shops because it’s actually pretty profitable and more interesting than just waiting for humans to stumble into fairy circles
Some Fair Folk Cafe’s are fine, you go in, pay for your food, and if you leave wanting to go back that’s normal. These guys want you returning, they like humans, want to watch them and interact with them and learn about them.
Some, less so. You feel an urge, an itch under your skin to take more than you paid for. “We can upgrade you for free, if you’d like!” The cashier says. There’s something a little off in her smile. Sharp teeth are uncanny at this angle, you think. You shake your head, refusing politely.
“Samples, take one!” The person stocking the cabinet says, holding out a plate of small pieces of cake. They don’t say free, they don’t say what they cost. You know better than to take them at the implied meaning. Fair Folk don’t do ‘implied’.
“I just ate, but thank you,” you reply gracefully. The smile fades, sharp teeth hidden, before it widens again.
“Next time then,” they say, and you feel the promise brushing over your skin.
“Maybe,” you reply, still smiling. You know better than to agree with one of the Fair Folk. Words have weight after all, and none more than the echo of a promise to one of The People.
I’d be screwed. I love free samples.
But that’s where they get you – they never say it’s free.
This is Dany. He has anxiety, but he’s full of love.
This is Tally, a 10 yo 18 pound Maine Coon, who will let you use her tummy for a pillow when you’re sad, and will just purr & groom you until you feel better 💕
This is Jareth, a rescue who advises you to consider the benefits of a good long nap
This is Miss Noir. Her hobbies include being besties with the food bag, running away from things in fear, and stairstep lurking.
This is Miss Nicole. Her hobbies include being an immense asshole.
This is Uno. He thinks things are gonna be okay. I intend to believe him.
This is Kit. He likes chasing bugs, digging in his litter box, and being aggressively cuddly.
this is crookshanks she’s orange
this is Keyes he’s my lead strategist
this is toast, hes a cool dude
This is Rosie. She’s loud because she’s full of bees
This is Sweety he is very large
This is Khensu he belongs to my neighbors he’s half Maine coon I hang out with him when he gets lonely
This is little cat, she loves headbutts and standing on people
this is Elly she’s very soft and a butthole
This is Lord Peter Wimsey and he thinks everything belongs to him.
This is Pumpkin he has a great purr but his dignity is defective
This is naruto uzumaki and hes a little cunt
This is Latte; she’s charging her warmth meter by my hot PC and getting ready for a lap attack.
That’s Litellest Kitty who gives me allergy and gets really fluffy in the winter TT
This is Lucky she’s very angry
This is Booger, he’s 20 pounds and an asshole but he likes chin scratches and snoring
Here a two-for-one! Shadow and Simba, who both know they’re not supposed to be on the fucking kitchen table, but if they look cute enough they might get away with it (they definitely do).
This is Roman. He thinks biting and showing affection are the same thing.
This is Keli on @thisallegra’s robe. She’s meowsy and loves pets and scritches.
this is dia, he shows his love by biting
this is Sneaker, he’s a bed hog
this is link and he’s really working with his acting coach right now so he can land the role of salem on the new sabrina show
This is my acquaintances´cat. I don´t know his name. He´s fluffy and mysterious and probably a model.
This is Rumplestiltskin, he’s afraid of everything he cuddles if it’s cold outside
Princess Tigerbelle is always willing to cuddle
Meet Torfifi, the most adorable kitterino on earth
This is Oreo he graduated
This is Bean and he hates people ignoring him in favour of school work
This is Jasper James, his interests include, garlic bread, and screaming.
joss whedon: loki tortures and murders people for fun, and, despite being the god of CHAOS, is a fascist who says things like “it’s the unspoken truth of humanity that you crave subjugation”
taika waititi: loki is an annoying little shit who day-drinks, puts on theater about himself, and fucks his way to the top
joss whedon: loki and thor are gods, so they always talk proper and posh and in cryptic riddles so for no reason. it makes them seem more powerful and mystical.
taiki waititi: one time when they were kids loki turned into a snake because he knows thor loves snakes and then thor went to pick up the snake and then loki turned back into himself and screamed “yueagh, it’s me!” and then he stabbed thor
Taika Waititi has a deeper understanding of Norse mythological accuracy than Joss lol
It’s because Joss Whedon looks at all mythology and religion through a Christian-atheist lens. You can see it in Buffy and even a little in Firefly too. Even when he writes about other religions and their deities and practices, it still comes back to Christianity.
He wrote Thor and Loki as modern Western Christianity would portray Jesus and the Devil as opposed to how they actually are in mythology or the comics
This 100% was me at the zoo. Don’t touch Melon, he’s mean. Okay, but I have to touch Bob to make him get his stupid emu head out of my shirt, so what if I also touch Melon until he likes it?
Sephiroth is angery because he has one wing and sometimes attacks people? I want to pet him also. Also he won’t get off the rock I have to clean anyway, surely a little pets on the good side will be fine.
Martha and Stewart are assholes that tag-team while the pond is filling? I bet I could CUDDLE THEM.
The female deer will excitedly nuzzle you in the stomach for feeding them. This is fine, because they don’t have antlers. The male deer is locked up while we’re putting out food because he will gouge you to death with his little nubby asymmetrical horns, because he thinks the females are doing it.
The entire monkey enclosure will eat your fingers for a single fruit loop. They also have the smallest arms and can reach through holes they’ve made in the tarp on the gate to their enclosure. Do not hold hands with the monkeys. (2nd gen old man monkey will also pee on the keepers that don’t give him fruit loops. He is a jerk.)
The rehabilitated bear that still sits like she’s on a couch because she did that when she was living in a crack house? Yes, she looks chill. Yes, she looks The Softest. No, do not pet her back through the fence. No, do not go into the corridor and try to offer treats for pets.
Big Mac does not know he will break your ribs, but YOU know he will break your ribs. Do not enter Big Mac’s enclosure no matter how much he chuffs and displays his belly and rubs on the cage and looks sad. Yes, he genuinely wants pets. Yes, Pinkie is deliberately getting pets where he can see it as a sign of dominance even though she’s a housecat and he could eat her in approximately one bite.
The turtle is mean. Period. He is an old man and he does not like you. He does not like the parrot getting fries and he does not like that he is in a kiddie pool to warm up because his enclosure lost power, and he does not like you behind him preparing food for the owls and raptors. Petting him will not help this. He will rock back and forth and mean mug you forever because he is a grumpy old man.
All of the rabbits need more handling on principle. They don’t know you and they are very distressed that you’re taking their poop away. They can learn, a little, kind of. The guinea pig is insane and will not learn. Do not pet the guinea pig.
this post is gathering some highly blessed zoo stories i love it! thank you
as biologist, can confirm
brain: that frog is very small me: well spotted, brain brain: put smol frog in mouth me: no!
brain: that lynx…looks so fluffy… me: it does brain: we should pet it. me: it’s awake and angry so no.
brain: baaaaby bunny. me: yup. brain: baby bunny goes in pocket me: nooo it doesn’t.
birds were invented by sticking a bunch of weapons and feathers on a ball of pure hubris and bringing it to life by the power of spite and fight alone, they are completely lacking in the ability to regret bad decisions like the ones about to be made above
I’d contend that they’re dinosaurs who have never quite forgotten it.
I still can’t get over how Naruto is literally named after the little pink spiral thingies you get in ramen noodles
the western equivalent would be like naming your kid fucking Crouton
MY NAME IS CROUTON AND IM GONNA BE PRESIDENT SOMEDAY BELIEVE IT
It gets better: Narutomaki, the aforementioned topping, is named for the whirlpools in the region it originated from. His last name, Uzumaki, means vortex/spiral. So the kid’s name is basically whirlpool vortex, or if you really want to simplify it, spiral spiral.
Naruto Uzumaki joins Remus Lupin in the Moon Moon Category of naming.
Steel Phoenix Studios 