Erin Hockings

missmashmain:

z-nogyrop:

z-nogyrop:

those “monkey brain/human brain” posts except the monkey brain is presented as the rational one

monkey brain: extra body hair provides warmth and producing it but then cutting it off wastes valuable nutrients

human brain: hehe leg smooth

monkey brain: this hurts my mouth. i shouldn’t eat this.

human brain: G H O S T P E P P E R

eroscestlavie:

dogspotting: 20 pictures a day of dogs on a leash in the downtown area of some small city

catspotting:

bluegrasshole:

some of you have never had a customer service job and it shows

anzekopistar:

anzekopistar:

Paul spilling the tea on hockey players horrible dressing habits

Update on the socks and shoes first:

nonanalogue:

supersayainmilk:

smurflewis:

smurflewis:

smurflewis:

smurflewis:

smurflewis:

Today I walk into work and there are a ton of people in my building and it’s kind of a mess and everyone is talking and I sort of just blurt out:

“Man, it’s a zoo in here!”

Everyone stopped and looked at me as though I had 2 heads.

Then I realized.

I work at a zoo.

Update: my boss was talking about how he was really excited for an entire week of vacation and was wondering what he should do, so I looked him dead in the eye and told him, with a straight face,

“You should visit the local Zoo, I heard it’s really nice.”

Under pain of death I am no longer allowed to make any zoo related jokes.

Part three: I was cleaning the squirrel monkeys and one of them kept trying to climb up me so I sort of just yelled

“WILL YOU STOP MONKEYING AROUND??”

I forgot my boss was in the next room and he walked and just glared at me

Another update:

I was in the reptile house and one of the new interns looked like they needed some help grabbing a snake so I just blurted out:

“Let me slither on over there and help”

They actually appreciated the pun XD

So I’m in the kangaroo yard and my boss says “they need more water, hop to it.” And I kind of look at him not sure if he said that on purpose but he looks back with such horror and just whispers “I hope you’re happy” and walks away.

I hope you’re happy

I hope you’re hoppy

steampunktendencies:

Extraordinary Object: the Automate Fée Ondine by Van Cleef & Arpels

benepla:

“the world has become such a soft safe space where you can’t speak freely” is a good way to reveal you spend a majority of your time on the internet. a customer came in today and told me that the illuminati framed bill cosby and it was my fault and i just had to be like OK sir cash or credit

tatooinedovah:

sometimes you just gotta indulge your inner 13yo and play online dress up games for 3 hours straight

thesovereignempress:

ninjapancake314:

brandonsgame:

@xubbs

Amazing, breathtaking, stupendous, mindblowing

transcoranic:

demenior:

Every time I see a ‘modern au’ ft a character that has some sort of limb replacement like a metal arm or w/e and the ‘cool au version’ of it is a sleeve tattoo I literally want to reach through the screen and slap some sense into whoever posted it

They got a prosthetic in canon they gonna get a prosthetic in the au!!!! Because, I know this is a little far-fetched, but people who need prosthetics actually exist!!! In real life?! What a coincidence?!

Also you want cool prosthetics??? They totally exist

Want your character to have a cool prosthetic in the modern day?

steampunk? check

#aesthetic? Floral?

avant garde?

cyberpunk?

there are no excuses for erasing canonical disabilities