When I suggested that R2-D2 has a Shit List and a long list of meticulous petty-to-terrible offenses for each person on it, some people have suggested that this Shit List (which obviously stars the Skywalkers) somehow excludes Leia.
Like, on one hand, I could see R2 telling others (Luke, Han) that Leia “has never done anything wrong in her life (how dare you)” to mess with them. But, on the other hand, I am deeply and sincerely offended by the notion that Leia’s Shit List isn’t just as long as any other Skywalker, if not twice as long as Luke or Han.
(I will give you that Anakin and Obi-Wan’s lists are probably incomparably hideous, where some of the many, many entries (especially Anakin’s) are just one to three words and a lot of offended exclamation points. Like: “SHIT LIST -> Category: Jedi -> My Boy -> New Entry -> CRASH!!!!!!! >:(!”An example which surely matches at least a dozen entries.)
Like, for one thing, Leia’s Shit List would obviously have an entire section dedicated to “Illegal Things Leia Needed To Hide So She Dumped Them In Me Like I’m A Fucking Trash Can Or Her Purse”, with items ranging from “a secret blaster she couldn’t hide up her skirt” to “proof of Senator X’s corruption and/or drug dealing” to “stolen Death Star plans”.
What parts of Canada are Wade Wilson and Logan actually from tho? This is an important part of Thier relationship that’s really overlooked.
Like, Thier canadianess in general is overlooked, but if Logan is supposed to be from NWT or something and Wade is from, IDK, Vancouver, there needs to be an inter-canadian smackdown.
Responses from The Canadians so far:
Logan: Multiple canon sources and Actual Canadians agree he’s from somewhere in northern Alberta, (Fox Lake and Cold Lake have both been cited)
Wade: True to form, there are multiple conflicting canons about which part of Canada Deapool is from, but all the Canadians agree that in order to get Like That ™, Wade Wilson is 100% definitely for certain from Winnepeg.
Yet another installment in humans being fuckin weird compared to aliens: humans give blood, organs, and tissue to each other, because our race is built around being able to function under as much stress as possible.
So of course, what do we do when another human will die without something we could live without?
We go to our local hospital and undergo trauma to provide them with it, for no compensation.
Sure you might need to eat and drink more, take antibiotics or anti rejection drugs, but hey!
B’ril over there had to wait until HIS race figured out stem cells and lab grown organs, because ALL their organs are vital, and losing a pint of fluid flat out kills them or sends them into shock.
“You… you lost… your toxin filters?”
“Well, we’ve got a few things that do that, but yeah, like… four of them?”
“….Four?”
“Well, counting tonsils.”
“You are… How are you alive, again?”
“You make it sound so weird. I still have two kidneys- One’s synthetic, the other was donated.”
“…….donated?”
“Yeah, my girlfriend was compatible.”
“Donated.”
“….Yeah? Like, we had the same blood type and everything, and she volunteered. What, you guys don’t do that? What do you do when someone needs a liver, or something?”
“We… clone one.”
“Okay, sure, but what did you do before cloning? You didn’t just like, give someone a piece?”
“….. we died? Wait, what do you mean, ‘give someone a piece’?”
“Well, our livers can grow back. You can give someone a piece of yours, and they can grow their own. You guys don’t do that?”
I absolutely adore these ‘humans are the hardiest aliens’ stories.
Humanity: tell them they can’t do the thing and they will do it out of spite and then improve the thing until it is Ultimate Badassery. Just to prove a point.
note: don’t know who these are for the most part! they might be gay, i just found them on google images. also this isn’t a ranked list i just like numbers
1. tapered and long
the top two are probably the best approximation of this cut. i like it because it’s floofy but you don’t necessarily have to have curls to pull it off
2. bowl cut pixie
ngl i thought i wasn’t going to like this but i’m actually a huge fan. gives me kind of edgy lisbeth salander vibes. this would be a really good way for femmes to flag too because it’s kinda off center of straight fashion
3. buzzcut
a classique and sexie look. buzzcuts looks rly good when they’re dyed if you’re into that (i especially love obnoxiously bright colours). if we’re doing characters, this reminds me of furiosa obviously and we all know she’s a lesbian legend
4. undercut
i’m obsessed with undercuts. it looks so so cute with curly hair or straight hair. i also like how it can be really soft or really severe depending on how you style it. it’s also super androgynous
5. short shag
terrible name but a super cute haircut. it’s softer than some of the other ones i have listed if that’s what you’re into. looks cute with curly or straight hair. gives me a bit of baby butch vibes.
6. pompadour
love it! classic! that janelle monae look? beautiful. it lengthens your face if that sweetens the deal for anyone. very dependable and handsome butch look. would highly recommend.
7. curly mohawk
this hairstyle is VERY important to me as a gay because it makes women look beautiful. the top right girl is literally my dream girl. also you can style it soft or really punk which is super hot.
8. random pics of women i found
wow i fuckign. i just love women! look at that! we really do short hair well ladies! thanks for reading my post i hope you enjoyed
As someone that identifies with butch, this makes me happy 😊
Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.
I have been waiting for this post all my life.
They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.
Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”
A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.
So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?
My friend you’re not wrong
About Homer’s wine-ey sea!
Colours are a matter
Of cultural contingency;
Words are in flux
And meanings they drift
But the word purple
You’ve given short shrift.
The concept of purple,
My friends, is old
And refers to a pigment
once precious as gold.
By crushing up molluscs
From the wine-dark sea
You make a dye:
Imperial decree
Meant that in Rome,
to wear purpura
was a privilege reserved
For only the emperor!
The word ‘purple’,
for clothes so fancy,
Entered English
By the ninth century
.
Why then are voilets
Not purple in song?
The dye from this mollusc,
known for so long
Is almost magenta;
More red than blue.
The concept of purple
is old, and yet new.
The dye is red,
So this might be true:
Roses are purple
And violets are blue
.
While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.
But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.
Hirple – To limp or walk awkwardly
Cirple – An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse
One day, you lose your wallet, and it is found by a mob boss, who figures out that you aren’t in such a good place financially, and takes pity on you. So they start anonymously sending cash, clothes, and furniture to you in the mail, eventually, the mob boss sends you a letter to stating that they bought you a house, and it lists an adress. What do you do?
In this economy? Thank them politely, pledge your loyalty, and join the mob.
If you don’t know what this means, it’s basically then end of how the internet currently is in Europe. Memes? Nope. Youtubers? Bye!
You’d need a license for everything!!!!
And my fellow Americans my be all like, well, what’s the big deal for us? It’s a Europe deal.
No, because the Youtubers there that you love so much? This effects them too! I’m freaking out because Jack, the person who helps my depression go away, may no longer be able to do what he does!
Guys, we need to stop this somehow. Please.
Call your MEPs. Sign petitions. Protest (Peacefully please. Don’t get hurt).
I’m sorry for tagging you guys if you don’t want to be or already know, I just want as many people to know as possible!
I can’t tag everyone, but if you see this, please reblog it. Spread the news. Sign the petition. Call your MEPs. Do what you can to help stop this from passing in January.
Steel Phoenix Studios 