where I grew up in California not only is “dude” generally non-gender-specific, half of the time it doesn’t even refer to a person at all.
I said it to a faucet today.
A customer once came to me to order a sandwich and said “I want this dude”
Dude is more than a word, it’s an emotion.
dude is a way of life
maybe the real dudes were the friends we made along the way
it feels like an inverted exclamation point, in a way. “dude, look at this” feels a lot like the way “!!!! look at this” could be used here on tumblr
I WILL ALWAYS USE DUDE AS A GENDER NONSPECIFIC PLACEHOLDER WORD UNLESS
UNLESS
UNLES!!!!!!! you are uncomfortable with being called dude and then i will try my best to not do that because i respect that it can be dysphoria inducing my friend.
I am Californian so I apologize in advance for Dude-ing u if u prefer not to be Duded at and will try my best.
I grew up in the nineties. ‘Dude’ can be anything or anyone. Lemme know if this isn’t cool with you.
the iliad: Area Man Expected To Work With These Incompetents
the odyssey: Prodigal Asshole Returns
the aeneid: Man Who Thought He’d Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit Of Hope He Didn’t Even Know He Still Had
the satyricon: I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, And I’ll Fuck My Way Out
medea: Relationship Not A Power Struggle, Woman Who’s Winning Reports
the bacchae: Area Man Just In Bad Mood Because He’s Tired And An Awful Human Being
iphigenia at aulis: Guests Forced To Pretend Wedding A Good Thing
agamemnon: Study Finds Expressing Anger In Unhealthy Ways Incredibly Satisfying
oedipus the king: True Courage Is Knowing You’re Wrong But Refusing To Admit It
herodotus’s histories: Historians Admit To Inventing Ancient Greeks
the poetry of catullus: Relationship Definitely Hurtling Toward Something
the ars amatoria: Man’s Relationship Advice Same As His Hunting Tips
the speeches of cicero: Here Are All Of My Opinions
the epigrams of martial: Come On, Lighten Up, I’m Just Being A Total Asshole
Person A: You know… the thing Person B: The “thing”? Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD
As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:
Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.
Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”
Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.
Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.
Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.
Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.
Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”
Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”
Finally a list I recognise myself in. Especially the idioms thing. ‘Oh, is that not a thing in (language)? Right, it’s Dunglish. OK’
what she says: i’m so excited for the expansion draft !!
what she means:these are grown men making millions of dollars by benefiting off of the hero praise our society gives to athletes, which inherently roots from its perpetuation of toxic hypermasculinity. the nhl as a whole is an organization that has shown disregard for the wellbeing and safety of its players, using and marketing their skill and willingness to push their bodies to the extremes to the public for profit, all while acting under the guise of pioneering diversity while not addressing issues such as abuse, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, sexism, etc. candidly. vegas is just another wave of their vapid capitalist machine that is fueled by toxic culture, and therefore i have no reason to be emotionally invested in what they do, however, i choose to derive enjoyment from this sport and its players while actively acknowledging the virulent ideologies that come with it, in doing so i will hold the organization and its players accountable and be able to compartmentalize the my derived gratification and the inherent bullshit nature of the nhl. vegas pls don’t take my fave.
Steel Phoenix Studios 