the fact that the Russian language doesn’t have articles makes me go ??????????????? because in a native English speaker’s head it sounds like a hilarious shitpost type thing
so when you ask someone “Где водка?” it translates to “where is the vodka?”
but in my horrible backwards english brain if I don’t see any articles I assume they aren’t there, so yelling “ГДЕ ВОДКА” translates to “WHERE VODKA” like some kind of drunken maniac who you definitely should not give vodka to
Speaking as a Russian-American who speaks the language and knows a fair share of Russian-Russians, even if Russians did have articles they would still slam open the door yelling “WHERE VODKA” at all times.
Goalies are interesting creatures. Their adorable and smiling face hides a dark secret. Because they’ll be that shiny happy baby with their face tucked into their jersey that wiggles in the the crease to get comfortable and pats the post when it gets hit. But if you knock them down or touch their mask you have activated a secret murder switch and either they or their teammates will fuck you up in 0.2 seconds. Whether the goalie themselves or the team fucks you up is based on several factors including but not limited to the goalies time in the minors, the goalies time as backup, the goalies amount of bullshit handled, and how much the team relies on said goalie. I’m not saying that touching the goalie is a death sentence, just maybe you should have your will in order if you plan to.
Supercarrier: fandom flagship. Everybody and their dog ships it. The fandom is glutted with artwork and fic. You cannot escape this ship.
Dreadnought: massively popular. Nearly everybody ships it. You can, with dedication, in theory, reach the end of the AO3 archive for the ship’s tag, but it’ll take a long time.
Cruiser: pretty popular ship. Not everyone ships it, but everyone knows about it. Has a good amount of fic/art, and probably multiple ask blogs.
Frigate: just plain popular. Feels like it could use more fanworks. New people to the fandom might not know about it, but they’ll stumble across it sooner rather than later.
Gunboat: bit of a rarepair. It might have an ask blog or two. A couple big name fans ship it. Probably only takes a few weeks to get through the entire AO3 backlog, and one new fic gets added during that time.
Tugboat: rarepair. Almost never seen except as a side pairing to a more popular ship. You can usually get through everything on AO3 in a matter of days. You’ve forgotten what it is to be picky about what you read.
Rowboat: less than a dozen people ship it. You all know each other. You exist in an endless cycle of the same five people desperately producing art and fic and one person who constantly contributes headcanons.
Canoe: you are one of maybe three people who ship it, and there’s a not-insignificant chance you’ve never encountered those other two hypothetical shippers. You spend your days paddling furiously in hopes of keeping the ship afloat, dreaming of the day you upgrade to a rowboat so you can finally rest.
sorcerer’s/philosopher’s stone: cries for james and lily, also absolutely cannot believe that dumbledore is leaving a baby on a porch in england in november. 8/10
chamber of secrets: condescends lockhart into going into the chamber alone, then turns around and is like “great so that got rid of him” 10/10
prisoner of azkaban: “you look to be in perfect health to me, potter, so i’m sure you won’t mind me setting you homework. i assure you that if you die, you need not hand it in.” bamf. says “not today” to the god of death.” 11/10
goblet of fire: there’s that one time she puts a hand on harry’s shoulder while her voice shakes. lov it lov her. 9/10
order of the phoenix: unfortunately is part of the union of “adults denying traumatized harry any information.” this, however, is offset by “have a biscuit, potter.” 7/10
half-blood prince: in her temporary stint as headmistress, she gets more done than dumbledore did in fifty years. amazing. 100/10
deathly hallows: OH BOY. TALK SHIT GET HIT. MCGEE IN THE HOUSE HERE TO FUCK SHIT UP. 10000/10
The Avengers cost money to run and while Tony’s insanely wealthy, he didn’t get to be a billionaire in addition to the genius/playboy/philanthropist by being foolish when it came to money-making opportunities.
Thus, the comic books.
It’s a great idea, he knows it is. With the return of Captain America, there was a resurgence of all kinds of vintage Cap memorabilia and, among them, are the comics that featured Steve and the Commandos in daring (and, by today’s standards, incredibly racist, sexist, and everything else-ist) adventures. Tony’s got still a few – Dad had the whole run – and he thinks an update will go over well. The Avengers’ PR staff wholeheartedly agree, possibly not because Tony is paying their salaries.
The New Adventures of Captain America is first off the press, packaged with a reprint of the original Captain America #1, and they have to go to a second printing within a month. Steve himself is perfectly happy to sign copies because at least it’s not the beefcake shots that Vanity Fair dug up and ran in the January issue.
The Black Widow comes out next and it gets mixed reviews because the girl-power message got undermined somewhat by the cheesecake art. Tony doesn’t think Natasha’s the kind of pissed that will get him murdered in his sleep, but he can’t promise the safety of the next guy who catcalls out that her boobs aren’t as big in real life.
Invincible Iron Man is the third and, okay, maybe the title’s a bit much, but c’mon, since when has humbleness been part of his toolkit? It’s a detective story with lasers, which is precisely what he asked for. That, and to make him look as tall as Cap if they were ever in the same panel.
Thor has plenty of suggestions for his book’s story arcs, which is why the writer is credited as “scripted by.”
Bruce won’t give permission for anything to do with the Hulk, despite Tony’s assurance that this is a way to ‘demonster’ the Other Guy. Bruce says the Other Guy is a monster and should stay that way. Tony tries a few more times, but Bruce won’t budge. Which is why Tony’s sidekick in his own book is a genius named Bruce, no last name given.
Clint will let them do a Hawkeye book, but the creative team is left to their own devices because he won’t even return their texts or emails. What results is possibly payback because it’s not even a superhero story. It’s an ironic hipster drama where the putative hero is really a shlemiel who is a complete failure at everything but being a superhero. Hawkeye is a runaway success, however, and wins an Eisner. Clint won’t go to the awards ceremony.
When Tony finally sees Barton’s home – and gets over the shock that it is a farm with cows and chickens and a wife and children – he notices that there is not only a framed and autographed copy of Hawkeye #1 under glass in the family room, but there is a commissioned full-color drawing by the series artist. Clint might not want anything to do with it, but Laura Barton is very sure this is the most hysterical thing in the history of ever and trawls eBay for merchandise. It’s been a shitball of a day, of a week, but the mischievous smile Laura gives him when he promises he can hook her up at the source makes it a tiny bit less awful.
Wherever perfectionism is driving, shame is riding shotgun. Perfectionism is not about healthy striving, which you see all the time in successful leaders, it’s not about trying to set goals and being the best we can be, perfectionism is basically a cognitive behavioral process that says if I look perfect, work perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid shame, ridicule, and criticism. It’s a defense mechanism.
“When I interview leaders, artists, coaches, or athletes who are very successful, they never talk about perfectionism as being a vehicle for success. What they talk about is that perfectionism is a huge trigger, one they have to be aware of all the time, because it gets in the way of getting work done.”
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Steel Phoenix Studios 