anyway Sherlock Holmes is public domain so catch me writing a story in which Holmes’ seemingly timeless nature is explained in canon as Holmes being a restless preternatural entity discovered (summoned?) by the original Dr. Watson, who acted as its companion/custodian as it careened around doing the only thing that could preoccupy its wildly inhuman mind, ie, getting all up in people’s business and freaking them out with how much shit it knows.
the Holmes entity can die, but always reappears within a generation and without fail seeking out the latest in the Watson line. the Watsons, grown savvy over time, now devote much of their time to a.) preparing the younger members of the family for Holmes’ inevitable return or b.) desperately trying to get the hell out of dodge and live a normal life before it can happen to them as well.
just uuuuh. like a very knowing story about the inevitability of the Holmes and Watson story, centered a creepily inhuman Holmes and the long-suffering family who have spent more than a century documenting it.
OP, please, please, please write this. I will buy and read the shit out of this.
My dude, I have an entire PLUNNIE about transObi-Wan.
Obi-Wan was
born biologically female and decided while still in the creche, early in life,
that he had no business being a girl and being a boy was far more to his
tastes. The Jedi see enough species and differing genders that they were accommodating
to this desire: hormone treatments, clothing, full gender identity change—the only
thing they didn’t perform was the surgery Obi-Wan wanted, because it’s safer if
you’re fully grown before going under the knife. Obi-Wan was entirely fine with
that. His breasts are behaving themselves and remaining A-cups, thank you, and
he has an implant that means he isn’t inconveniently bleeding on an
inconvenient schedule.
That is,
Obi-Wan is fine with things right up until Qui-Gon gets himself killed and
saddles Obi-Wan with a Padawan. Now he doesn’t have time to go through the surgery and the recovery period, he has a
wild Anakin Skywalker on his hands.
There is no
avoiding telling Anakin, as they live in close quarters, but bitty Anakin just
blinks it off, shrugs, and wants to know why that matters. He was raised on the
Outer Rim in a port. This is not a new thing and is entirely cool, can we go
see Real Grass now? Real green grass is way more interesting than gender stuff.
Obi-Wan
shrugs, mutters under his breath, and just deals with it, because he promised
Qui-Gon a Knighted Anakin Skywalker. He’ll complete that task and then get the surgery, because he’d
like to be able to look at himself naked in the mirror and recognize the person
looking back at him.
But of
course, the universe is an asshole, and galactic civil WAR breaks out. Anakin
is Knighted, but they’re busy. He does not have time to recover from a surgery.
He doesn’t even have time to recover from the wounds he is receiving. Obi-Wan begins to wonder if the Republic supply
depots are spiking their food with stimulants just to keep them all upright.
The clones
are also totally fine with the
transgender thing. Obi-Wan discovers while speaking with Rex (in bed, because
that’s really the only time they have for anything resembling a conversation
not based on the war) that there are female
clones in the ranks, quietly living and doing their jobs as men because the
Kaminoans promised the Republic an army of Fett clones, so the girl deviations
had to conform.
This does
not please Obi-Wan. Or Anakin. or Plo Koon. Or any of the few remaining Jedi
who do not have their entire heads up their asses, spelunking through their own
intestines.
The female
clones get to grow their hair, if they want, and be referred to as their
preferred gender. Several of the male clones jump ship to be women; some of
them give no fucks; some of the women remain men; some of them really don’t
want to have to deal with gender anything,
can we just go blow shit up now??
Dooku dies.
Obi-Wan really doesn’t give a fuck that Anakin executed Dooku after the battle.
It’s a bit vicious, but not only has the Republic already declared in a Senate
session to execute Dooku as a traitor (which is…questionable) but Dooku has
tried to kill Obi-Wan so often that he rather enjoys the idea that Dooku won’t
ever try to kill him again. Either way, if they take down Grievous, then those
are the major military players. The war might be ending.
Obi-Wan
tries breaking his leg by kicking Grievous. Not his best moment, but he still
wins. They’re that much closer. He can feel it.
Too bad he
was feeling the wrong thing. The Purges happen. Cody tries to kill him. The 501st
marches on the Temple and executes every living being inside.
Mustafar.
Anakin. Anakin who knelt before the Emperor and became Vader. Anakin tried to
kill Padme, and then does his best to kill Obi-Wan until Anakin proves he’s fucking nuts by taking that
leap from a lower position.
Obi-Wan has
no idea what is going on, or why his belly aches like Grievous kicked him (no,
he did not), or why Anakin suddenly went entirely mad.
He does not
have long to contemplate it. Right after he retrieves Padme and gets C-3PO to
pilot them off this horror-rock, he collapses.
R2-D2 takes
some time away from freaking out about Anakin losing his mind to mutter about
having two hapless idiots on his
hands. C-3PO can only carry one idiot at a time!
Padme does not die. Fuck that Losing
the Will to Live shit. Padme was Momma Bear incapsulated, taking on the entire
Republic, before she had kids. After? Man, she would fight the universe to see her kids safe.
Everything
at Polis Massa is great, except for the fact that Padme is giving birth to
twins (!??!) and a medic is telling Obi-Wan that he’s pregnant. (!!!!?!???)
Bail is kind
enough to help clean him up after Obi-Wan vomits in the ’fresher for about an
hour and a half. Then he asks who the baby’s father is.
Obi-Wan
pauses, thinking that Rex adores kids and so does Cody, and Cody will just
never stop teasing him over this—
He decides
he’s just going to keep dry-heaving for a while. It’s kinder than thinking
about any of them.
Then he goes
and tears a medic a new one because he has an implant, this can’t happen.
The medic
asks Obi-Wan when was the last time he had the implant swapped out. They only
last so long before their effectiveness at preventing this sort of thing begins
to deteriorate.
Polis Massa’s
walls echo with the shout of “FUCK!”
Padme has
twins. Luke and Leia. She’s feeding the baby girl when she asks Obi-Wan if he’s
going to abort the baby.
Obi-Wan
stares at her, because it hadn’t even occurred to him to do so. Most of the
known Force sensitives in the galaxy were just wiped out. He can’t bear the
thought of helping the Emperor succeed.
Fuck. Fuck,
this is not fair. Why can’t he put this fetus in an incubator to gestate like
at least five different sentient species he knows of just off the top of his
head? WHY?
Fine. FINE!
Obi-Wan is going to have a child while they’re on the run from the Empire, and
then he is going to have that fucking surgery or he will chew his way through duracrete.
Obi-Wan asks
Padme what it’s like to be pregnant. Padme looks at him, blinks a few times,
and then grimaces.
Duracrete
and durasteel, then.
Obi-Wan and Padme decide to hide from Vader together. Bail does
not get one of the twins. Padme listens to Yoda’s reasons, tells him he’s full
of shit, and tells Bail that there are so many war orphans to choose from,
Breha could raise an entire horde if she likes.
Bail looks
entirely too pleased by this idea. She almost feels sorry for his older
sisters, who have been nattering on for Bail and Breha to have children for
years.
Padme is the
one to suggest that they go to Tatooine. She can’t go home to Naboo, but at
least Tatooine has Anakin’s family. That is her brother-in-law and
father-in-law and—according to the last message she received, she now has a
sister-in-law in Beru Whitesun Lars as well.
Yoda
actually agrees that hiding on Tatooine is a fabulous idea; off you go, shoo,
shoo.
Obi-Wan did
not need that education in what happened on Tatooine with the Tusken Raiders.
He was heartbroken enough. This is almost worse.
Also, he
really was not expecting his father to have quit the Mid-Rim, moved to
Tatooine, and married Anakin’s mother. He is also entirely freaked out about
endangering these people—these near strangers,
no matter their blood—when Padme assures him that Anakin swore an actual blood
oath that he was never setting foot on Tatooine again. They both doubt that
Vader will suddenly forget that sort of vow just to go trolling for victims.
Owen is not okay with Obi-Wan being his brother
instead of his sister, especially with Obi-Wan pregnant but still saying he’s a
man. Obi-Wan tells him to sod off and grow up. Beru laughs when Owen turns
bright red and stomps out of the room.
Padme and
Cliegg assure Obi-Wan that yes, he is handling siblinghood correctly.
They find a
nice, remote farmstead that is larger than Obi-Wan’s quarters in the Temple.
Which is…kind of pathetic, actually. Cliegg and Owen (after Beru threatens her
husband with castration) help to build additional rooms onto the place so that
they have bedrooms for each of them. Obi-Wan and Padme might tell people that
they’re spouses, but Obi-Wan does not want to be anything except Padme’s
friend. Padme is struggling to grieve while also being bright and happy for
twin babies who are far too sensitive for their own good. Obi-Wan is trying to
figure out how to anchor himself back to existence.
The last
room to be built is a nursery for the twins. Obi-Wan stares often at that third
cradle, waiting for a new baby, and wonders what in the entire fuck happened to
his life. He can’t grow a beard right now to save his life because his estrogen
levels are overcompensating after years of being suppressed, his breasts are
larger (FUCK), and he is starting to waddle like the pregnant man he is.
Thank the
Force that Beru loves children and all but moves in with them to babysit as
often as possible. They might have lost their minds that first year without
her.
On the day
Obi-Wan’s daughter is born, he finally sees Qui-Gon’s ghost for the first time.
Unfortunately
for the asshole who up and died on him, it’s during labor. Obi-Wan throws
everything within reach at the ghost, because HOW DARE HE and THIS IS YOUR IDEA
OF TIMING? while Padme holds his hand and tries not to giggle as Obi-Wan
apparently destresses by yelling at a figment of his imagination.
Obi-Wan
names his little girl Anna. Ani for short.
After nearly
a year of holding tight to her grief, Padme finally breaks down and sobs.
Imagine being an uber driver and while giving some teen and his uncle a ride you end up getting pulled into a hostage situation/anti government rebellion forces
Han Solo did not sign up for this
To be fair, in this metaphor, the uber driver is in trouble with the local mob boss because he was ferrying cocaine and dumped it out the window when it looked like he might get pulled over, so…
So the uber driver hooks up with the sister of the guy who first hires him, and it turns out that their dad is the Deputy Sheriff, and things go downhill even faster than previously imagined when they hit up a local truckstop for a bite to eat, fuel drop and impromptu family reunion.
Truckstop’s run by an old friend who he won his car off that one time, and the dude’s hitting on the chick he’s hooking up with and it’s like come on man, don’t do this to me but then the girl’s dad is there and he gets hit over the head and shoved into the trunk of the cop car and it’s like oh, shit. Fuck. Chewie man, don’t let them take my car!
And then the kid, who had never been off the farm before he hired you, comes back with Green Beret-level skills to bust you out of jail and his sister, who was honestly kinda preppy, straight up MURDERS the mob boss. And then you get the plans to the DOD’s biggest single piece of equipment so you go to the middle of nowhere where it’s being built and you have some trouble with the locals, but somehow the annoying nerd speaks their language and manages to impress them, so you work together to infiltrate the military base. Oh, and the kid lets himself get captured so he can talk to his dad, and after a knock-down drag-out fight, the dad realizes that he’s been played his entire adult life by the corrupt politician overseeing everything, so he chucks the politician down the maintenance shaft of said politician’s high-rise just before it gets destroyed by the rebels, led by your friend in your truck that he borrowed with the promise that he wouldn’t put a scratch on it, but he knocks off your side mirror getting out of there.
also consider: LOTR but hobbits have Tapeta Lucidum
Boromir gets the fright of his life their first night on the road
Boromir: *glances over his shoulder* ??!!!!???!!
Hobbits:
Hobbits: what
i will never get over that you used an image of raccoons for this purpose because it is incredibly accurate
LOTR au but instead of hobbits literally raccoons
Gandalf: well this raccoon found the ring and has been carrying it around. unfortunately we can’t take it off him or he gets very bite-y. so I figure, the raccoon is the ringbearer now
Elrond: what are those other three raccoons doing here
Gandalf: he brought his buddies. I call this one ‘Merry’
Aragorn: *watching Frodo & Sam scamper off in the direction of Mordor* our hopes lie with those raccoons now
Legolas: do they… know where they are going
Aragorn: I sure hope so
Faramir: father why is this raccoon in the livery of the citadel
Denethor: haha doesn’t he look precious
Elfhelm: Dernhelm, is that a raccoon in your bag?
Dernhelm: *sweating nervously* Uh no, sir.
Eowyn, later: And I said no, you know, like a liar.
Denethor: WHY did you let a raccoon go off with the Ring??
Faramir: ….it just seemed like the right thing to do
Gandalf: he scratched you up real good huh
Faramir: ……………gouged my FUCKING arm and bit me on my face
Witch King: no living man can kill me – AUGH FUCK, RACCOON, RACCOON ON MY LEG ARGHHHH
Eowyn: *stab*
Wraiths break into the room at the prancing pony: *UnHoLy ScReEcHiNg*
Trash Panda Hobbits:
Wraiths: Oh, what the fuck, whAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!
Treebeard: Baroom, humm, where are my small, impatient friends?
Merry and Pippin:
Don’t go where I can’t follow, Mr. Frodo.
~~~~~~The Hobbit interlude~~~~~~
Thorin:
You’re the burgular.Go on and…burgle something! Bilbo:
Saruman: Well since some fucking TREES took over Isengard I guess I’ll take over The Shire. Farmer Maggot and ever other Halfling down to the Sacksville-Bagginses:
I can’t explain how much I want a 21st century Star Trek au where Kirk still lives in Iowa and it’s like “holy shit aliens just literally landed in my cornfield I can’t believe my life became a bad episode of x-files”
ok but. hear me out like…
kirk as just this genius 21yr old in Iowa building hi-tech shit in his basement; like radios and shit that manage to pick up sub-space frequencies that he helps code w/ the help of Uhura
kirk thinking it’d be a funny prank to make some crop circles in his family’s cornfield
kirk making intricate crop circles that read as some rudimentary script of Vulcan
spock responding to the images that seem to be an SOS from his father; beams down to earth only to find out some humans managed to accidentally learn the vulcan language
“oh so you’re an alien” “indeed” “And…you’re looking for your dad.” “affirmative” “well, you know what this means?” “….” “…roadtrip.”
spock learns the meaning of friendship as he roadtrips across america with a pack of humans that kirk picks up along the way in search of his father: mccoy, the doctor they met in georgia that let them sleep in his basement; scotty the auto repair guy they meet in some backwater town; sulu in new york that is much better at driving than kirk is; nobody really knows how chekov ended up with them, but it’s probably illegal
these are the voyages of the 1970 Volkswagen bus Enterprise
Minnesota, Interstate I-495: The Final Frontier
It’s not a 1970 Volkswagen, but…
driver picks the music!
Someone please write this. I don’t write in this verse. Please write it.
i think about this a lot but how much better would thor 1 be if we got to see thor react to the fact that his beloved brother was a race that he grew up wanting to slaughter?? like was that not an important plot point?? THAT’S a better way for thor to realize that killing just to conquer is wrong, that’s how he should have realized the error of his ways, not just meeting mortals and wanting to protect them, but by hurting someone that he loved because of his arrogant ignorance and prejudice
It makes Thor and Loki’s relationship the most important in the movie since it’s the relationship impacting Thor’s character arc, and that’s how it should be in a Thor movie.
The people Thor wants to conquer are Frost Giants, not humans. Asgard’s opinion of Midgard is in no way comparable to its opinion of Jotunheim. Learning how nice and cool humans are shouldn’t impact how he feels about Jotunheim. This is why I explain his change of heart in other ways.
The trouble is, I think a small change like, for instance, Thor noticing Loki turning blue when the Frost Giant touches him would change the plot entirely. If Thor had noticed that, he’d have grabbed Loki and noped the fuck out of the battle on Jotunheim. The conversation between him and Odin would have been entirely different. He probably wouldn’t have been banished, which means Loki wouldn’t have been regent.
There’s an interesting fanfic in that idea. (Obviously there are already works that have Thor find out Loki’s a Frost Giant and never get banished, but most of the ones I’ve read are pro-Odin, pro-Asgard, and anti-Jotunheim, and that’s just not my cup of tea.)
@foundlingmother Perhaps seeing Loki’s hand turn blue is what prompted Thor to retreat from the ongoing battle on Jotunheim. Odin arrived just as they reached that edge and Thor slayed that frost beast.
Thor didn’t blather about slaying the Frost Giants together then, because he was holding onto Loki, confusion and rising panic keeping both of them quiet.
Then after coming back to Asgard, Thor directly asked Odin about Loki, his voice raised. Odin gave them some spiel about saving Loki from those ’monsters’, but Thor, angry and wanting straight answers, lashed out at Odin. Odin finally revealed how he wanted to bring peace through Loki. That shocked both Thor and Loki, causing Thor to personally call Odin out on his shit.
Loki tried to intervene, but Odin banished Thor to Midgard. Now feeling directly responsible for all this shit going down, Loki reacted with his emotions clouding his thoughts. In his attempt to stop Odin from banishing Thor, he got thrown to Midgard as well. Both the brothers banished to the same realm, perhaps landing a bit apart on Midgard.
Hence began the adventure of two brothers rediscovering their brotherhood and love by shared experiences on a strange planet, trying to come to terms with the fact that the man they looked upto all their life was actually a huge liar and tyrant. Cue in the angsty stuff where Loki actually tries to distance himself from Thor, wondering if he feels disgusted to even touch him, or if his touch might injure Thor unexpectedly. Thor trying to pull Loki out of his funk, while trying to get some understanding about the drastically changed modern Midgard. Mjiolnir has also been taken from him, and he is distraught about that too. But for the first time in his life, Thor begins to question if he actually deserves such a weapon, if he actually is an honorable warrior and prince.
On Asgard, Odin plans to destroy Jotunheim. Frigga sees this and asks the warrior 4 to go on Midgard to find the brothers. She herself goes to stop Odin from taking this step. Heimdall and Odin have a confrontation, where Odin almost kills him. But Frigga intervenes. That’s when Thor and Loki arrive back in Asgard.
Thor and Loki finally have to confront their fears and insecurities to fight Odin, who is bent on destroying Jotunheim, while Frigga takes the Gungnir out if the bifrost activating slot, stopping it from frying Jotunheim.
Odin, already fighting odinsleep, finally collapses, and the drama finally comes to an end. The brothers are injured, but not very seriously.
Movie concludes with Frigga sitting on the throne of Asgard while the brothers return to Midgard to thank their new friends (including Jane). That’s when the thing with the Tesseract being rediscovered happens.
I am into this. Yes, indeed.
I love it! My only problem with this is that I don’t think Odin would wanna destroy Jötunheim like that. It woul alter the balance between The Nine Realms and breack the paternalist fazade that he worked so hard on. Maybe if the brothers confront him for something else, like returning The Winter Caskett to Jötunheim.
@artemisa97 That’s true. I think it would make more sense if Jotunheim, using the excuse that Thor invading and killing their kind presents, went on the offensive and escalated it to the point of war. It could very easily be shown to be justified. First, they’re dying and need the Casket back. Second, they’re aware Thor’s the next king of Asgard, and he’s just shown he’s not only willing, but excited to slay them all. Better to go out in one last ditch effort to retrieve the power source they need. Odin responds, now under no obligation to pretend to be peaceful and paternalistic. He’s just defending his Realm. He already punished Thor for his actions, so the Frost Giants are unnecessarily escalating the conflict due to their violent, warmongering nature.
The way I would do it, Thor goes to retrieve the Casket to return it, and he must battle the Destroyer (perhaps with Sif and the Warriors Three). Meanwhile, Loki goes to Jotunheim. Odin and Laufey are battling one another in the same place that the opening showed Odin defeating Laufey. Loki joins in, helps Laufey disarm and disable Odin. Just as Laufey’s about to exact his victory and vengeance, Loki kills him in the same way he does in Thor. Thor gives the Casket to one of Laufey’s sons. The Asgardian army is allowed to retreat.
@foundlingmother Ok, so, while my computer went through some problems, I had time to think about all this scenario and now I have opinions. And girl, are they long…
First, I agree with you with that ending, even if I’m not sure that Helblindi and Bylester would accept their father’s dead that easaly. Anyway, what I actually want to explore is what happens next, since I belive that this could make TDW waaaaaaaay more interesting. Or, in any case, more solid.
Assuming that Avengers happens mostly the same but with Loki being an avenger instead of a villain or, in any case, not really taking part in the conflict at all, I think he would visit Midgard very often. After the whole killing Laufey everything would come out in Asgard and people would know that Loki is a Frost Gigant. Between the racism and the fact that Loki was always the odd one out, being there would be hellish, so he would try to avoid it. And now he had actual friends! Not fake friends that tolerate him just because he is Thor little brother, but friends that don’t care about his heritage and want him around (want him around, not Thor, Loki) because he is himself and they like him, even when he is a lil’ shit sometimes.
That friend would be Jane, of course, because we are forgetting that whole romantic thing with Thor. It wasn’t good, it wasn’t interesting and Thor would have been to busy with the whole “MY LITTLE BROTHER IS A FROST GIGANT AND MY FATHER IS KINDA OF AN ASSHOLE” thing in the first movie, so that never happened (thank Frigga). But I do belive that, little after the first AWFUL AND BOMBASTIC argument with Odin, Loki would sneack to Earth and stay in Jane’s couch. They would be besties because Jane is nice and she would listen to him and support him. Loki would become that friend with a shitty family that appers in the middle of the nightwith a new story about his dad racism and homofobia and, just, assholery. I belive that, after the first times, it would become a thing, not just for when he has problems in Asgard, but a whole weekly thing. They would drink heavily while watching Shakesperian dramas that Loki would get because of the similaritys with Asgardian theather and because his own shitty family live and then talk about magic and sience and the universe. (I also belive that they would understand each other in another way, since Jane is in a very masculine field and Loki has always being insulted for his magic and seidr, that are considered femenine matters; they probably get each other deeply in those subjects and are good support when Jane is called “a pretty face that doesn’t get sience” or when an asgardian calls Loki an agr.) Also, they would end up watching telenovelas because I know that Loki would love them, ok? A lot of people shit in telenovelas but it’s the perfect mix between clasic tragedy and clasic comedy and they are so dramatic: Loki would be adicted. He would also love Empire becuase it’s the perfect combination of Shakespeare and telenovela with a little spoon of social commentary that would resonate with Loki while he is trying to decide if he is more asgardiand than jotunn.
In any case, I digress, what I was actually trying to say is that they would be besties, so Loki could have being there while the whole portal thing was happening. Now, here we start again in the movie itself, but instead of that w-e-a-c-k protection for the ether, it would be AN ACTUAL PROTECTION. Like the dungeons of an old abandoned castle full of protections and traps, but Loki would see the Asgardian Royal Sigil and the ancient drawings and would realize that it had something to do with the dark elves. The version of the story that Odin always told is flawed and Loki reacts very badly because “OMG ANOTHER ASGARDIAN SECRET THEY ALWAYS LIE IT WILL NEVER END I CAN’T EVEN” and breacks the seal because he is gonna find out the truth one way or another. Jane follows him because they are buddies and she is concern. Also, she has no idea of what’s happening and needs Loki to go back to Earth, so… But he frees the ether and it gets inside Jane because of course it does. Loki takes her and go back to Midgard, wich is the moment when Thor appers just like in the movie.
They go back to Asgard, but Odin is ANGRY becuase Loki just waked up the dark elves and freed the ether and now is inside of the stupid mortal, so he accuse him of threason for ignoring the warning simbols and loks him up. Frigga is angry and Thor is angry but Odin is the boss. Loki, of course, it’s also angry because he knows Odin was just expectin for an oportunity like this to get rid of him, so they have a very close version of his trial scene since they are both furios and burning with resentment. Loki is imprissioned.
Now, Thor. Thor is focussing in protecting Jane because she is his friend too and Odin is very racist, but he is conflicted about Loki. Of course, he wants him to be free, but doesn’t really do anything to get him free because he is angry that he endangered Jane and, more important, their relationshipp? Quite tense right now. First, Odin had a lot of time to get in his head and ooooooh, the Old Man is good at it. Second, he had been most of that time away from Loki, since he is returning the Nine Realms back to order and Loki is in Asgard, fighting with Odin. Third, he is jealous AS FUCK. Thor is a fixer. He likes fixing things, he wants to fix things and help the people he loves, he needs to fix things and feel that is his responsability, more so with Loki. But. He has been away. And Loki is going more and more time back to Midgard and the little time they expend together is more and more filled with discussions. Becuase Loki is starting to see that under that golden facade of Asgard there is blood and destruction. Now, Thor is a good person and always try to help, but he is very proud of being an asgardian and probably doesn’t take very well that Loki is starting to try and learn about his heritage because considers that Loki is as much of an asgardian as he is. The way he is starting to reject Asgard is an eco of the way he is starting to reject their bond, reject Thor. So, he loves his brother and want to help him, but he is gonna play with Odin’s rules because Loki is being very unstable lately.
Now is when the elves come into play. Loki, like in the movie, indicates them how to get to the palace because he is so angry at Odin and he belives that the dark elves are probably not as bad as they have being made look. He regrets that later, when Frigga dies protecting Jane.
Thor helps Loki to escape and the go in a very similar way to the rest of the movie. The only change it’s that, when Loki survives, which he is NOT expecting, he doesn’t overthrone Odin. He is done with Asgard. Everyone there hates him and discriminate him and he is just. Tired. He is so tired. He is feeling bad for the dead of Frigga and angry at Odin and doesn’t know what to feel about Thor. So he goes back to Midgard and stays ther with Jane and Darcy, that are thrilled that he is alive because they actually care about him. Asgard knows that he is alive but they leave him alone. Thor comes to visit and they talk, but Loki stays on Midgard.
At least, until AoU. In that movie I don’t really know i he goes in a road trip with Thor to find the infinity stones or if he stays and help Wanda with her magic.
Anyway, I’m sorry for the wall of text and any mistakes that I probable y have comited, english is my third language and DAMN, it’s a long post, I don’t think I will find all of them, xD
all right. so. this is a Harry Potter AU, in rambly and abbreviated form.
this is a version of events where, on the morning of November 1st, 1981, the police are called to a house in Surrey.
when they arrive, a large man with a red face and a moustache is waiting for them, brandishing a baby.
to be more accurate: he is brandishing a basket. the basket contains a baby.
he tells the police that his wife found the basket on their doorstep that morning. “Gave her the shock of her life,” he says, with a chuckle that does not seem the least bit sincere.
the police officers have a lot of questions about this, but the man does not have any useful answers. his wife, he tells them, is not in any shape to be interviewed. “she’s been poorly,” he says, “and we’ve got a baby of our own to worry about, keeping us up at all hours.”
the baby in the basket seems to be about a year old. he is cheerful, seems healthy aside from a cut on his forehead, with a crooked sticking plaster on it. he has startlingly green eyes.
there is no identifying information in the basket, except for a torn scrap of paper with ‘his name is Harry’ on it in a delicate hand.
there is nothing else to be done, it seems. the officers take baby Harry, and leave.
one of them comes back a few days later for a follow-up interview with the woman who found the baby. she seems a little fragile, and her own baby, in the next room, keeps up a constant shrieking tantrum the whole time the officer is there. “I’m sorry,” the woman says, with a brittle smile. “this has all been a bit much. I recently lost my sister, you see.”
i’ve never seen a depiction of a luke organa and farmboy leia au where luke has long fancy hair and the iconic white dress and leia has short hair
and honestly? cowards
let alone the logical followup, dagobah leia with HUGE sweaty biceps bursting out of a tank top doing swamp crossfit while luke makes out with han inside a space worm and flirts with lando
This post planted an idea that was too fun to ignore! Here’s Leia Skywalker in Dagobah’s fashionable finery!
if you’re struggling for AU ideas take a look-see at this list i wrote for my friend who dubbed it “better than the 10 commandments"
1) Coffee shop AU
i)
Barista and person who has a ridiculous coffee
order
ii)
I’m worried about your coffee dependency
iii)
you accidentally poured boiling hot coffee over
me so you’re responsible for taking me to A&E
iv)
you give me a different fake name every time you
come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here
I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino
2)
Flower shop AU
i)
You buy a weird amount of flowers and I’m
concerned as to why
ii)
I’m allergic to flowers but I work in a flower
shop – you’re a customer who’s very confused as to why I’d do that
iii)
(this is also a good way to incorporate flower
meanings eg, buying certain colours/types for person to represent feelings etc.)
3)
Library AU
i)
You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m
tracking u the fuck down
ii)
I work in the library and I’m a little concerned
for your health bc you never stop studying
iii)
The library’s pretty empty save for you and me
and OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere
4)
Awful first time meeting
i)
I accidentally punched you in the face when I
was too overexcited about something
ii)
I thought you were my friend who’s just done
something awful to me (read: cut my hair while I slept, dyed all of my clothes
pink, etc. etc.) because you look similar from behind so I stormed up to you
and shoved you from behind while calling you an asshole
iii)
You get the gist to this one
iv)
Oooh when you told me your name I thought you
were joking because it’s fucking awful and I made a joke about it and things
got awkward real fucking fast (perfect for a Hannibal au just saying)
5)
Weird places to meet/awkward meetings in general
i)
We live in the same block of flats but haven’t
ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to
stand in the lift together
ii)
“okay I know that being in the woods at 2am is a
weird thing to be doing but my friend called me and- wait, why are you in the woods at 2am, fuck I’m going
to die aren’t I?”
iii)
A personal favourite of mine – first day at a
new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last
weekend/night
iv)
We keep accidentally running into each other I’m
not a stalker I swear
v)
You live across from me in our apartments and we
smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re
the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable
vi)
“My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight
could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”
6)
Friends to romance – pining and all that
wonderful shit
i)
You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for
advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you
ii)
I really like you but you’re my best friend’s ex
iii)
You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious
about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really
miss it and fuck I think I like you too?
iv)
Somewhere along the way of getting into bar
fights together, staying up all night with movie marathons, other friendship
things, I’ve fallen in love with you but oh my god this could ruin EVERYTHING
v)
Friends with benefits oh wait I like you
7)
FAKE DATING HOLY SHIT I LIVE FOR THIS
i)
It’s my highschool reunion and I need a hot date
so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me
ii)
My homophobic parents are coming to visit will
you pretend to date me as an extra “fuck you”?
iii)
There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will
you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?
iv)
I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she’d
stop trying to set me up with people but now she’s coming to visit and I’m in
too deep I need a fake boyf ASAP
8)
Soulmate aus
i)
The first words your true love(s) will say to
you are tattooed on you and why the fuck are their first words something really
ridiculous like ‘I’ll pay you a tenner to punch me in the face’ or ‘quick
what’s your favourite animal’ or ‘fucking shit hell holy fuck wow oh my god
jesus h Christ fuck me’ etc. or even worse a really ridiculous song lyric like the opening lines of uptown funk or a high
school musical song or smthing did you have to serenade me the first time you
saw me asshole?
ii)
You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when
you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or an
overwhelming feeling that Thatcher was a good prime minister or an image in my
mind of a fucking unicorn
iii)
The more ridiculous the better actually
iv)
Something like whenever your soulmate sings a
duet you can’t help but join in and my fucking soulmate is in a goddamn band
but I can’t sing for shit
v)
Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze
at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just
sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w
character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s
what)
9)
Alternate universes for real
i)
Mermaids
ii)
Siren and asexual pirate who doesn’t understand
why all his crew are losing their shit that person has a nice voice sure but
what the fuck is happening
iii)
Hogwarts
iv)
We live in a world where the greek gods are real
and you went and got yourself cursed and now I have to go on a fucking quest to
sort this shit out why do I love you again?
v)
Pacific rim au (either they’re drift compatible
or one of them is a ranger and the other stresses constantly bc what if they
die yes I have read a fic like this no I didn’t come up with this one but it’s
fucking good) (also if you haven’t seen that film go watch it now)
vi)
Literally any movie or book universe you like
tbh just go for it
10)
Other aus that I like
i)
I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has
to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck
at the top? Fuck
ii)
We work in the same office and you have a
goddamn squeaky chair and you wONT FUCKING STOP SQUEAKING IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW
IT ANNOYS ME
iii)
Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and
I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this
iv)
It started to snow and I’m the only one of our
friends who would go outside with you – I soon found out why none of the others
would go out in the snow with you (this works best if they’re new friends who
don’t know each other all that well) when you shoved a handful of snow down my
back and declared snow war
v)
It’s nowhere near Christmas it’s literally still
November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the
tree out no stop please stop (if you do this pre-relationship you can have the
grouchy one secretly finding the other’s excitement endearing and falling in
love with them actually that works for established relationship too)
vi)
Current partner got a new job in America (or
other country far away) and we’re getting by on skype calls and emails but it’s
not easy and then I met someone new (can be poly or can be finding the OTP person)
vii)
You want us both to get in shape and I hate
working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do
for my friends and their nice asses
viii) Carrying
on from 10.vii. you’ve caught me checking you out in what I thought was a
subtle way too many times and now you’re calling me out on it what do I do???
ix)
You’re an actor/other famous person that I
really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or
not to say hi you came up to me and
started flirting what do I do??
x)
You were waving at your friend behind me but I
got confused and waved back at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you
think it’s cute
xi)
I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking
but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think
it’s hilarious and shut up you dumb fuck you don’t know me aahhh
xii)
I’m a waiter at this wedding and you’re a drunk
guest who will not stop hitting on me please I’m trying to work no I can’t
dance with you omg let me find you some water
xiii) Our
best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each
other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about
how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”
xiv) You
pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention
and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait
you’re cuter up close and the way you talk is kind of nice actually oh fuck no
Okay I could go on forever but this is over 1,500 words of
auing already I have too many ideas christ
Steel Phoenix Studios 