Kylo Ren had a shitty deadbeat dad who decided to be a smuggler than be there for his kid and a mom who wasn’t a princess or a senator but a general. Kid probably grew up in a war zone. Safe to say his childhood was far from fucking privileged.
Anakin’s reaction to any adversity in his life is to murder every single man woman and child in his path and then blame entire groups of people for his problems. Wife gonna die in childbirth? Good enough reason to fucking murder a bunch of kids.
Kylo has so far on screen killed one person. Had great hesitation to do it. And frankly is an action I’ve thought about a bunch. I think kids of deadbeat dads have all thought about fucking killing your deadbeat dad.
All of your Kylo facts is actually fiction. Nothing you say here is supported by fact. Kylo Ben fans are tripping.
He also killed more than one person on screen. We saw him specifically murder Lor San Tekka and Han Solo on screen. Both unarmed old men.
We saw him order the slaughter of a village which had already been subdued. Every death that his troops caused in compliance with that order is on his head.
We saw him lead the invasion of two planets: Jakku and Takodana. The First Order is not a legitimate government of either planet. Any deaths that occurred during that invasion are on him too.
While he didn’t give the order to blow up the Hosnian system, (BILLIONS DEAD) he willingly assisted the people who did. Moreover, he willingly continued to protect the weapon when their victims attempted to prevent further use. Moreover, he knew it was being aimed at his MOTHER at the time.
He abducted a civilian woman and repeatedly assaulted her. He tortured her as well. He tortured an enemy combatant. He assaulted and attempted to murder a young man who had been enslaved by the First Order.
He is complicit in the abduction, indoctrination, abuse and enslavement of Finn and every other Stormtrooper. The movie makes it clear that he knows the nature of the program and does not object except to suggest clones would be more efficient.
Even if Kylo’s childhood was as described (which it was not, as proven by the Aftermath trilogy and Bloodlines) that is not a valid excuse for any of his crimes. And while I am not much of an Anakin sympathizer, the fact remains that, at this point in time, he has been established to have an objectively worse backstory, which is a valid basis to compare and contrast even though it does not excuse his crimes.
And in the end, Anakin still had to die for his crimes. He did not get a forgiven by everyone, happily ever after with his kids ending. The love he got from his son was still with the mournful understanding that the darkness inside of him was terrible and still his responsibility, not excused by his backstory. He wasn’t offered free forgiveness, he was challenged to be better because he’d established on a number of occasions he had a line he wouldn’t cross. “You couldn’t bring yourself to destroy me before.” is what Luke told him.
Kylo crossed that line. Kylo was furthermore offered several chances to at least establish a line by maybe taking Lor San Tekka alive (but he killed him), maybe just leaving the subdued and not a threat village (but he had them kill everyone), maybe ignoring the girl in the woods (but he kidnapped her), maybe turning the other way while Hux tried to identify the runaway stormtrooper (instead he identified him), maybe if not taking Han’s offer to go home just turning around and leaving his father alive (but he killed him) and he didn’t. Vader at least didn’t go out of his way to be more of an asshole than he had to to get the job done, Kylo enthusiastically threw himself into murder and mayhem, volunteering to go that extra step.
Anakin’s backstory isn’t what got him a redemption arc. It was the little moments when Vader was not entirely fucking evil. Not killing extra people, for example. It wasn’t his previous pain, it was that little tiny spark of goodness he very occasionally indulged, that Luke sensed when they connected minds, that saved Anakin in the end. Anakin’s horrible backstory is only there to explain why that little spark of goodness could still exist, because he was once a genuinely good person and he went to Hell on that path of good intentions, but he still had something that he valued enough that he could drag himself out of the Pit to save.
Kylo is specifically designed and presented as NOT valuing that same thing that Anakin valued. He wants to kill his uncle, he didn’t lift a finger to save his mother, he killed his own father. Desire for power had led Anakin down the Road to Hell, but we knew from the confrontations with Luke that that desire for power did not override his desire for family. Kylo has several lines that establish he wants to be as dark as possible so that he can attain and surpass Vader’s power level. In the movie, he kills his own father to achieve that goal. In the backstory of the movie, he’s establish to have destroyed his Uncle’s life to achieve that goal. During the movie he’s supporting the destruction of his mother’s life’s work to achieve that goal.
It’s got nothing to do with having a sob story and everything to do with WHY they want power and WHAT they will do to achieve it. Anakin wanted power to protect his family, and even after 23 years of darkness he was not willing to allow his son to die. Kylo is willing to kill his father and purposefully harm his mother and her brother to achieve power, and by all indications he wants it for his own vanity.
I think a lot of fans don’t realize or remember that when Vader’s arc came about, we didn’t KNOW Anakin Skywalker’s backstory at all.
All Luke (and the audience) knew, even at the end, was that Anakin Skywalker was a Jedi and a pilot, who at some point, for some reason, became a monster.
We didn’t have Revenge of the Sith to explain it until twenty years later.
The roots of Darth Vader’s redemption comes entirely from Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi.
Vader was scary in A New Hope, and he hurt Leia and killed Obi-Wan. But at that point in time, he was basically a faceless machine. Cold, terrible, cruel. But not personal or human.
In Empire, Vader is a terrifying monster who knowingly stalks and brutalizes his son while still furthering the Empire’s atrocities. There’s no question about his evil. But there is the faintest glimmer for hope in the way he’s reaching out for a connection to his son.
Unfortunately, because Vader is a monster, the only connection he can forge with him is monstrous. But he is still trying. He wants Luke to join him. He’s offering him power WITH him. In the warped and terrible way that Vader perceives the universe, that’s the closest he can come to love.
This is the first glimpse of Vader’s humanity that we get. And while it’s terrible and monstrous, it’s all about wanting a connection with his son.
And that’s where the redemption moment becomes possible. That’s what Luke is able to draw on later to save Vader from the Dark. He uses the fact that Vader reached out to him for connection to offer that connection back. But not the power exchange that Vader understands, but forgiveness and love. And when the choice is before him, in clear, uncertain terms. Vader takes that offering.
This doesn’t work for Kylo Ren, because we’ve seen Kylo Ren as a human all along. The unmasking during Rey’s interrogation was deliberate. It showed us that he wasn’t a faceless machine, but a man.
And that’s what destroys the chance of Vader’s redemption arc. Vader’s a machine, whose sole glimpse of humanity is reaching for a familial connection. But Kylo is a human man, with a human face, who is repeatedly offered that human connection all along.
Lor San Tekka tries to appeal to Kylo as a man, in his family’s name, citing his origin in the light, and gets murdered.
The Starkiller is aimed at the Resistance base, where Leia is sitting. Kylo defends it.
And finally, of course, the most explicit: Han Solo begs Kylo to come home. Reaching out to him, unarmed, crying. And Kylo shoves a saber through him.
That’s why Kylo loses in this comparison. It’s not a measure of evil deeds or sob stories. It’s because he rejected what Vader chose to save.
I know the idea about Obi-Wan being called Sith Killer (or Sith Slayer, perhaps?) has been done before but what about this:
After Naboo, Obi-Wan becomes known as the Sith Killer in the Order. It makes him uncomfortable but he can’t get people to stop calling him that; even before he had killed Maul, he had already defeated two Darksiders (Xanatos and Bruck) so after this, his status as that really cool, badass Jedi to emulate just skyrockets, especially among the newly Knighted and all the Padawans and Initiates. It’s also pretty clear from the fire in his eyes that he is deadset on finding the other Sith. Other young Knights are eager to help – it starts with his friends Bant, Garen, and Reeft: Whenever they’re on a mission, they also look for clues about Dark Side activity; sometimes they’ll follow up on those leads after their official Council-assigned mission ends and then hand that information to Obi-Wan, who’s compiling them. More and more Knights and even young Masters start doing that. Soon, Obi-Wan unofficially is the head of the Sith Hunting Task Force.
Anyway, so Anakin becomes known as the Padawan of the Sith Killer, not the Chosen One (how many Jedi even knew that Qui-Gon thought he was the Chosen One? He only told the Council about it, after all, not made a general Temple-wide announcement). The Jedi are a little flummoxed at first about Obi-Wan taking on a non-Temple raised Padawan but then they’re like, okay, well, this is the Sith Killer. If he wants to do things differently, who are we to tell him no? It’s not like any of us have encountered, fought, or defeated a Sith. And maybe that’s even the better way to do things??? Bringing on people who have life experience outside the Order so they can bring new ideas in?
Every time Anakin does things that they don’t expect, or show more emotion and passion than they’re taught to allow, they’re just like….well, he is the Sith Killer’s Padawan. Obviously the Sith Killer is teaching him differently. Maybe this is how Obi-Wan was able to kill a Sith himself???
(Some enterprising Padawan managed to get their hands on the footage of the fight from Naboo and they all watched it. Obi-Wan was obviously feeling a lot of anger and fear during his fight, and then he calmed himself at the end and managed to defeat his opponent. So Emotions, then peace becomes the new motto for this generation of apprentices.)
Everyone starts trying to befriend Anakin. All the other Padawans start trying to be more like him. He’s passionately speaking out about slavery? Well, they will too then. Obviously, slavery is an evil that will lead people to Fall. It should be stopped. He talks openly about his attachment to his mother? Well, attachment must be okay then. (And they remember from that video that Obi-Wan was obviously very attached to Qui-Gon so there’s another point in favor of attachments.)
Some overly enthusiastic Padawan also hacks into the Temple records and finds out about Obi-Wan’s fights with Bruck as an Initiate. And everyone’s like, even then, he must have somehow known that Bruck was going to Fall. So people all try to avoid getting into fights with Anakin cuz like, if they do, does that mean that they’re going to Fall? Anakin’s the Sith Killer’s Padawan, after all. There must be something special about him. What if he too can tell when someone’s gonna Fall and that’s why he’s fighting with them?
So that’s how Obi-Wan and Anakin inadvertently change the Order. The Council starts noticing that something’s changing but they can’t manage to stop it or reverse it. The younger Knights, Padawans, and Initiates have stopped thinking of them as the all-knowing wise senior members of the Order and started seeing them as the old guard clinging to outdated traditions – none of them have ever fought a Sith or seen one in person, after all. Few of them even go on missions anymore. They just sit in their tower handing out assignments and reprimanding Jedi for not following their Code.
I’ve been thinking about this some more and I feel like the logical next step for a group of Padawans intent on ending slavery and emulate the Sith Killer is to of course sneak off to Tatooine and free the slaves. After all, Obi-Wan didn’t talk about defeating the Sith; he just did it. He hadn’t just talked about helping out the Young on Melida/Daan, he did help them. The Sith Killer takes action to right wrongs and fight evil, he doesn’t just preach about the wrongs.
It takes awhile for the small group of them to all have leave at the same time so it’s not until Anakin’s around 13 that they’re able to sneak off of Coruscant and to Tatooine. They have something of a plan – Anakin’s been thinking of ways to free the slaves for as long as he can remember; having the unplanned but welcome addition of several Force users should make it even easier.
Anyway, they manage to start a slave revolution (how I haven’t yet figured out) and after, the Council is livid. They reprimand the Padawans severely but the Padawans find that it’s hard to regret what they had done when there’s thousands of freed slaves thanking them for helping them and tearfully reuniting with family and being so happy and relieved that they don’t have to live in fear of their lives.
When the Council finally asks them why they had done it, the Padawans are just like “It’s what Master Kenobi would have done.”
Mace’s eye twitches.
The Council reprimanding the Padawans for starting the slave revolution might do more harm than good, in the long run. The Padawans say that it’s what Obi-Wan would have done, but they also know that it was the right thing to do. The Jedi Order is famed for breaking the Zygerrian’s slave empire and once having no tolerance for slavery, but now the Jedi Council is bleating about politics and the problems caused by the breaking of the Hutts’ stranglehold over Tatooine?
“So…” one Padawan, a Twi’lek girl of about fifteen, says slowly with a steely sharp gaze, “you’re saying that it’s better to leave thousands of people in bondage to preserve political and economic stability than to free those people and end the barbaric practice enslaving sentient beings?”
There is dead silence in the Council chambers.
This is when Obi-Wan decides that if he’s going to be a role model to these Padawans, despite his personal feelings on the matter, he may as well try to make sure they learn a few things. (And possibly avert a mutiny among the Jedi, but that’s honestly a lesser consideration right now.) “The question is not whether slavery is conscionable,” he tells the Padawan regarding the Council with a mulish eye. “The question is whether freeing the slaves this way has destabilized the region so much that they are in further danger. Do they have sufficient resources, in the form of food, water, housing, and transportation? What about medical supplies, or access to medical training? Do they have the means to protect themselves from retaliation by their former captors? Is there a legal framework in place to prevent their further exploitation?
If they choose to emigrate, do they have the documentation to do so?”
He has their attention now. Some of this isn’t new, it’ll have been discussed in their courses, but some of it only time in the field can teach.
“There are other questions to consider,” he says, ignoring the eyes of the Council as everyone in the room stares at him. “For example, how likely is it that former slaves will strike against their captors, furthering the bloodshed? Is the conflict resolved, or is it waiting for the merest excuse to break out again?”
The Padawans consider this, glancing among each other. “Then,” one says, a humanoid boy going through his growth spurt, all legs and arms, “the problem is that we didn’t plan thoroughly enough.” He nods, then turns it into a little bow, one that’s quickly copied by the others. “Thank you, Master Kenobi, for the lesson. We will not make that mistake again.”
Anakin, tucked among the other Padawans, is smiling at his master.
Obi-Wan smiles back and then addresses the group again. “Again? Yes, that’s very well and good. But I don’t believe you’re quite done with this time.” At everyone’s questioning glances – the Padawans curious, the Council’s dismayed – he arches his brow. “Well, you’ve freed the people of Tatooine. That’s only half the battle. Now, you must help them build infrastructure. So. Who will go back to Tatooine to help with this task? Anakin and I will go, of course. Who else?”
Every Padawan in the group raises their hand eagerly.
And so for the next year, they get hands-on experience working with the freed slaves on Tatooine helping them set up their government. (Anakin spends his free time with his mother. Obi-Wan spends his hunting down leads on the Sith in the Outer Rim.)
Yoda starts hearing Qui-Gon’s force ghost just like in the Clone Wars, but this time it’s just hysterical laughter and “I can’t believe you thought my padawan would be traditional BHAHAAHAHA!!!”
Anakin pushes and manages to get Shmi made the new senator for Tattoine. With her on Coruscant most of the time, they see each other frequently. She and Padme become best friends, and Palpatine never manages to win Anakin over because he already has friends and family to confide in.
The war does start, but Dooku refuses to take part. He’s still not willing to rejoin the Jedi Order, but he doesn’t feel the need to destroy them. They seem to be going in the right direction, and it’s a fitting memorial to his padawan that Obi-Wan is leading all the younglings down the path of Grey Jedi. Without Dooku and Ventress to keep people in line the Separatists fall apart fairly fast, especially since there are a lot of hardcore badasses from Tattooine MORE than happy to join up with the Republic forces.
Obi-Wan’s padawan followers all fall in love with the Clones, and make sure they’re all able to leave the military if they want to and they all have dual citizenship on Tattooine and Naboo. Several turn out to be highly force-sensitive, and they get adopted into the Order. The Council tries to object, but Obi-Wan points out that, due to the accelerated growth on Kamino, the Clones technically fall within the age limit.
Jango Fett, seeing that his clones are being treated well and carrying on a (highly modified) form of his people’s culture, finally forgives the Jedi and disappears into the Outer Rim rather than engaging in any more wars.
Between Dooku’s warming toward the Order and Jango Fett’s forgiveness, it suddently becomes A LOT easier for Obi-Wan and co. to track down the Sith Lord. Palpatine dies in a mysterious “accident” two weeks later.
At some point, Maul also has to get taken care of again. And hopefully permanently this time. And perhaps Dooku will still train Ventress, but not in the Dark. I can’t remember what issues Jango had with the Order, though, that he needed to forgive them?
Anyway, also adding these tags from @jahaliel, whose reblog I have been meaning to reblog for the longest time:
Yes, definitely some of the Council and older Masters help out. It starts with the ones whose Padawans want to follow Obi-Wan and Anakin to Tatooine after freeing the slaves because of course, their Masters would accompany them and they probably end up setting up a temporary remote Temple there since there’s so many of them there and they need a place to stay and gather and meditate and continue with classes and training.
And I don’t know that it’s necessarily the “doing good” piece that’s important for public opinion so much as it is being more visible, so that the public understands them more and doesn’t think of them as scary mysterious enforcers of the Republic law who have superpowers and can’t be killed and can make you do whatever they want you to do.
do you think leia felt everyone on alderaan die but because she didn’t know she was force sensitive she thought it was all her own pain, do you think unknowingly force sensitive people all over the galaxy in the middle of sleeping or cooking dinner or kissing their children goodnight suddenly felt their hearts torn out and had no idea why
Adding a thing that slapped me in the face this morning thinking about this:
This explains Leia’s behavior on Hoth, too.
Her twin brother is in mortal danger. While the argument (the more I think about that scene, the more I want to caveat “argument” with some major footnotes, tbh) with Han is going on? Luke has gotten himself strung up like a piece of meat in a Yeti’s cave and is waiting to die, save for his resourcefulness in using the Force and, later, Han’s refusal to follow protocol.
Of course she’s going to be freaking out and on the defensive – just like in Cloud City, mortal danger is afoot, and it involves a member of her biological family, even if she isn’t aware of that link yet.
Leia’s Force sensitivity is shown and stated over and over to be incredibly strong (and is incredibly untrained and uncontrolled, because apparently Obi-Wan and Yoda can’t be bothered to give a shit about Anakin’s daughter, only his son). When it’s in check – and it is 98% of the time – Leia’s actually extremely even-tempered and rational. Look at her behavior in ROTJ – she might as well be a different character. Pretty much the only other time she raises her voice, other than dealing with the extreme stress of the situation in New Hope, which takes its toll on all three protagonists equally, is when she’s trying to be heard and taken seriously in the Rebellion – among troops who surely think of her still as Bail’s little princess playing war-hero dress-up.
But when her Force sensitivity acts up – and it’s only really shown to flare up when the actions of a family member are about to cause imminent death or destruction – we need to treat that with the respect of someone with unique mental health needs, not discuss her “anger issues” or laud it as proof of the sass of Strong Independent Feminism.
OH GOD NO BUT THAT WOULD BE PERFECT. how did the jedi not think of that?
what is anakin’s biggest weakness? attachments.
you know who needs lots of attachment? babies. small children.
anakin should not have been made to study murder: he should have been put in charge of Small Things. He would have bonded with all of them instantly, and it would have given his life Meaning and Purpose.
He’d bond with the kids, but he’d be able to move on because they are Bigger now and they have to go to the Big Kid Class but he still sees them around all the time, and it finally teaches him how to let go of his attachments??? He’d find a kid that he’s particularly fond of and go to Obi-Wan and say “I have found your newest padawan.”
this could have fixed so. many. things. ;_____;
Heh, and Anakin would keep picking Obi-Wan’s padawans for him, and it would be annoying but damn if he wasn’t right every single time.
BUT CAN YOU
JUST IMAGINE HOW ANNOYED PALPATINE WOULD BE his life would be never-ending
string of trying to get a hold of Anakin (I mean, would Anakin give him a time of day if he can spend it with small kids who absolutely adore him instead?)
he keeps
comming over the years, but it’s always like
BEEP
“Anakin, my
boy, we haven’t seen each other in a while—“
“I’m sorry,
Chancellor, now’s not the best time. I’m tutoring a class.”
BEEP
“My dear
boy, I wonder if we could meet for a chat—“
“Well, it
can’t be this week, we’re going to Ilum, but maybe later…”
BEEP
“Anakin,
I’d like to—“
“I’m
terribly sorry, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan Kenobi answers. The apologetic tone might
be just a tad exaggerated. “Anakin is on a trip with younglings, he
must’ve left his comlink behind accidentally.”
BEEP
“You’ve
reached Anakin Skywalker’s private comlink. Leave the message after the tone.”
BEEP
“It’s such
a shame that Council doesn’t consider sending you on this campaign, considering
the lightsaber skills you demonstrated when I was last visiting the Temple,
Anakin.”
“Thank you,
Chancellor, but this is precisely why I need to stay behind. In fact just the
last week, the Masters decided I should take over some advanced lightsaber
classes, considering senior Padawans accompanying their Masters on the frontlines
need the training. I might take the Bear Clan along, make it a learning
opportunity for the young ones—“
Palpatine
closes his eyes slowly. He knows this from experience; Anakin won’t let himself
be budged from the topic of little monsters for at least another half an hour.
BEEP
“Ah,
Chancellor Palpatine. Anakin left his comlink behind again, he’s in class—“
BEEP
“Anakin, I
hoped you—“
“Oh! Chancellor,”
the voice on the other end is distinctly female, and Palpatine recognizes it after
a second. Kenobi’s second Padawan. He barely restrains the urge to gnash his
teeth. “Um, Skyg—I mean, Master Skywalker can’t pick up now. I can tell him you
called? It’s just that he was helping me with forms, and he forgot his comlink,
and he’s probably already in crèche…”
BEEP
Then there’s
that one time when an actual youngling picks up the call. The less said about his
reaction to that incident, the better.
BEEP
“—fortunately,
they were all right in the end. But in my opinion, this should never happened
in the first place, Chancellor.”
Palpatine
snaps awake. Was that… was that anger? Finally, the hours of listening to
worthless drivel about Jedi younglings paid off.
“My boy, I
absolutely agree,” he begins slyly, but before he can continue, Anakin steamrolls
on.
“I think Jedi
Order is too deeply entwined in the conflict! I honestly don’t think even
senior Padawans should be anywhere near battles, not to mention in command of
GAR, but now even younglings are acceptable targets for Separatists and pirates!
Master Yoda and I were talking about this lately, and—“
Palpatine
swallows a scream of rage with some difficulty.
BEEP
“Forgot his
comlink again, Master Skywalker has. With younglings, he is.”
Slaughtering
younglings moved to the top on the list of things Darth Sidious will do after
taking over galaxy some time ago.
this post keeps getting better and better
Since this post is back on my dash, let me add something I was thinking about lately, which is this Anakin & Obi-Wan #1 page:
More specifically, the last four panels.
Stars
above, just look at this smarmy smile. Mace Windu might be saying “Of
course, Chancellor”, but he’s hard-pressed to think of something he’d like to
agree with less.
“The
Jedi are under the Senate’s judistriction.”
It’s
completely innocent, unremarkable, one hundred percent factually true statement.
It’s also said in the most blandly obnoxious tone one can imagine. A tone which
upon being heard is guaranteed to have blood pressure of the recipient going through
the roof.
(You could
find Master Windu in the Room of Thousand Fountains a few hours later. (“The
Jedi are under the Senate’s judistriction.”) You wouldn’t know it by
looking at him, but he’d be meditating away a very un-Jedi-like urge to rip a
certain graying head off.)
A few weeks
pass. Mace manages to put this unfortunate conversation out of his mind almost entirely.
He’s sitting together with Yoda, discussing everyday Order matters.
“Visit us
again, Chancellor will,” Yoda notes after they schedule a joint training
exercise for Padawans for tomorrow.
(“The
Jedi are under the Senate’s judistriction.”)
(”Send
him to me.”)
Windu
stares at his flimsiplast with unseeing eyes for a moment, carefully releasing
sudden spike of annoyance into the Force, before turning to the
Grandmaster.
“There are
still few mission to assign,” he remarks noncommittally.
(The next
day, Master Kenobi and Padawan Skywalker are on a transport to some swampy
planet in Mid-Rim. They both privately wonder why Master Windu is pissed off at
them; they both for once finding their consciences clear; they both arrive at
the inevitable conclusion that the other must be at fault; and they both decide
magnanimously to not embarrass their companion by asking what the hell they did.)
Mace Windu
absolutely does not let this petty act of revenge completely justified assignment
buoy his mood during next meeting with Chancellor (and several after that).
A month
passes, then another.
One sunny
afternoon, strolling through the Temple halls, Mace Windu happens upon
unwelcome visage of Chancellor Palpatine.
“Chancellor,”
he stops to greet the politician. His voice has just the right amount of polite
inquiry in it, and no one would know that somewhere deep in his soul, a more punctuated
question echoes. What the kriff are you doing here.
“Master
Windu,” the Chancellor replies, and no one knows this either, but he’s not
stopping just to make small talk with the Jedi. The rules of propriety and
social niceties are last thing on his mind, because a vanishingly rare
opportunity for someone in his position just presented itself.
It’s the
opportunity to gloat.
It’s a
little thing, really, but it counts.
“I’m just
on my way to meet Anakin,” he smiles. “Since my schedule isn’t full for once.”
A Jedi Master
of Mace Windu’s caliber has too much poise to let his eye twitch.
“Isn’t he
in class?” Mace inquires. Wouldn’t it just be wonderful, if Skywalker was busy right this minute.
“I wouldn’t
presume to interrupt him then! No, I commed ahead and Anakin told me his
afternoon is free.”
Jedi accept
both victory and defeat with the same serene dignity, for reveling in either is
not their way. Thus Master Windu inclines his head slightly, says “I see,” and
bids the Chancellor a good afternoon.
(“The
Jedi are under the Senate’s judistriction.”)
Those words
most definitely did not haunt Mace Windu, for he did not lay awake this night,
did not curse Anakin Skywalker for handing out his private comm number to
politicians, and did not wonder what other activities beside gossiping with
Chancellor of the Republic he could assign to arrogant Padawans with far, far
too much time on their hands (he checked Skywalker’s schedule; the boy indeed ought
have been in afternoon class, if not for the fact that he tested out of it).
Well,
alright, maybe he did. But only for a few moments, before letting the Force
carry away the irritation, trusting that the cosmic energy would help him to
realize how incredibly unimportant is his dislike of Chancellor Palpatine’s
overbearing need to poke his nose into Jedi matters in general and training of
Anakin Skywalker in particular.
His trust
is rewarded the very next day.
It is well
known fact that Master Yoda is fond of younglings. Crechemasters have the
unspoken permission to bother him at any time of they with matters concerning
the little ones. Request for advice, reports about Yoda’s favorites, inquires
about Knights and Padawans who might be free to help out—it’s a background
noise whenever Mace accompanies the Grandmaster, which is most of the time.
“…they were
delighted with Padawan Secura, it’s a shame she and Master Vos had to leave so
urgently. Perhaps we can repeat this sometime later.”
“Oh?” Mace
interrupts the Crechemaster unexpectedly. “Why not have one of other Padawans
currently in Temple do it?”
“Do you
have someone in mind, Master Windu?”
It’s the
Will of the Force.
Master
Windu knows this, because it sings triumphantly around him as he discovers that
serendipitously known to him schedule of a particular Padawan—who tragically
missed out on the magic of crèche experience due to his unusual circumstances—complements
the Crechemaster’s plans perfectly in a way that leaves no time for visits from
entitled politicians.
“Yes. Yes,
I do,” Mace replies and puts Anakin Skywalker down for youngling-sitting duty
for the foreseeable future with a sense of job well-done.
This AU idea came from a conversation with @tcf-dendral in which I said that Obi-Wan is always randomly finding things of massive import (who happens to discover an already-paid-for clone army of 3 million and then stumbles into a droid army hiding in the Outer Rim? seriously) that if he hadn’t been on Tatooine with Qui-Gon and Padme, they probably wouldn’t have found Anakin at all. And then Dendral said that he didn’t play any particularly important role while on Tatooine, anyway, and I was like, well, Qui-Gon couldn’t very well just leave him on Naboo, he’s his Padawan.
…BUT WHAT IF HE DID?
So, TPM AU where instead of going with Qui-Gon and the Queen to Coruscant, Obi-Wan stays behind on Naboo, to provide support for the people in any way he can while they’re under siege. He ends up, of course, stumbling into the underground resistance movement and joins them. (Qui-Gon is Not Impressed when he finds out later. “You led another resistance movement?”
“I didn’t!” Obi-Wan protests, quickly re-holstering the blaster he had been using in lieu of his lightsaber because they couldn’t let the Trade Federation know that there was a Jedi there helping out the Naboo people.
“Like all the other times you “didn’t” lead a resistance movement or fight in a war?”
“I didn’t do those either! Didn’t you read my reports on those incidents that I submitted to the Council, Master?”
Qui-Gon sighs.)
Meanwhile, since magnet-for-trouble Obi-Wan isn’t with Qui-Gon and the Queen, they actually have a smooth trip back to Coruscant. She presents her suit to the Senate, they decline to help her, and she returns to Naboo determined to use military force to break the blockade.
Maul is still goes to confront Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan but since there’s no tension between them, they’re able to work together and defeat him. Qui-Gon doesn’t die. Obi-Wan still gets Knighted.
On his first solo mission, Obi-Wan’s ship crash lands on Tatooine.
I LOVE THESE TAGS. You have made my whole week with these tags. YES TO ALL OF THIS.
I’m grinning so hugely, you have no idea. This would happen lol – Obi-Wan is just a magnet for trouble in every form. And Anakin absOLUTELY has a tendency to fixate on the individuals he is infatuated with/cares about and become unhealthily jealous of their every interaction with other beings. At least in this scenario, he has a more stable childhood and still has his mother both for emotional support and to help keep him in line.
#ANAKIN HATES THE SITH THEY MAKE HIS BOND WITH OBI-WAN ALL JANGLY (@themikeymonster) – OK, but tell me that’s how they find out Palpatine’s a Sith, y/y? Palpatine doesn’t know Anakin’s Force sensitive since he never became a Jedi or got called the Chosen One + Anakin has incredible shielding after spending all those years on it (look, he was trying to impress Obi-Wan, OK?!!), so when Anakin ends up alone in the same room with Palpatine by accident, Palpatine doesn’t bother shielding too hard. And Anakin, what with his ridiculous force strength, immediately recognizes that there’s something off with his bond with Obi-Wan. Which obviously means Sith. Again.
Cue him asking Obi-Wan via their Super Strong Force Bond™, “What’s happened, are you OK, do I need to come rescue you again? Just say the word and I’ll –”
Obi-Wan rolls his eyes and cuts off his friend’s frantic babbling. “I’m fine, Anakin. I’m sitting in my quarters at the Temple drinking a cup of tea.”
“But then why…?”
And that’s when the proverbial lightbulb comes on.
Anakin was also motivated to perfect his shielding because Obi-Wan used to sneak up on him all the time to pour glasses of water/sand over his head or just shout and startle the life out of Anakin and then laugh himself silly. Anakin could never reciprocate because Obi-Wan always sensed him coming. Until one day he finally perfected his shielding to the point that Obi-Wan didn’t feel him sneaking up on him and Anakin splashed a bucket of water at his back and cackled when Obi-Wan yelped. (This was before Anakin grew to be taller than Obi-Wan. And he’s come a long way to be able waste water like that and not feel like someone was going to die because of it.) That was the only time he could pull off that prank. But he’ll always remember Obi-Wan smiling at him, hair and robes soaked and dripping with water. “Alright, you got me good, Anakin. Now keep up that shielding.”
Anyway, but yes, that is totally how they find out about Palpatine. Obi-Wan tells Anakin to get out of there “and don’t let on that you know about him.” The Jedi and certain trusted Senators work together to figure out Palpatine’s scheme and plan a surgical strike to take him out. (It’s successful, the war ends, and everyone gets to work on rebuilding and detangling the mess that Palpatine mired them in.)
I like things neatly wrapping up as much as anyone, but I’m also thinking like … This is Anakin we’re talking about here. Even an Anakin who is a fairly well adjusted civilian is … still Anakin. This Anakin has never had any personal run-ins with the Sith, and more importantly, has probably never realized entirely how dangerous Obi-Wan’s lifestyle is.
I’m thinking Anakin realizing that Palps is a Sith and being like
(ง’̀-‘́)ง
I can take him
No Ani, no you can not just take him. Get away from there.
Anakin just constantly demanding to be let in on the plans to get Palps like let me help, I can do it! He’s always been in a bad mood over the fact that Obi-Wan spends so much time in danger, but having come so close to the instigator of all that trouble, he’s just constantly let me at ‘em!
can’t fight every politician
You bring up some really good points! Anakin totally would go off half-cocked when he realizes who Palpatine is. His head may not have been filled with all that Chosen One prophecy nonsense but he’s still protective of those he loves and would take on anyone for them. But here, Anakin’s never been trained to use the Force offensively so it’s not what he automatically turns to in a fight. Instead, I’m imagining Anakin trying to throw himself physically at the Chancellor on impulse. The guards get to him before he makes contact and arrests him, then throws him in prison overnight. The Chancellor thinks he’s just one of the anti-war protesters who managed to get into the Senate building somehow so he doesn’t pay him any mind. Dex and Shmi have to come bail him out and he’s banned from the Senate building. (And he’s probably gonna have to go to trial for it because trying to attack the Chancellor, even with just fists, would be considered a pretty big crime.)
He goes to the Temple and crashes one of the strategy meetings. Most of the Jedi there are like ‘wtf, how did you get into this war room? it’s locked with the Force and only a Jedi can open it.’ and Obi-Wan’s just like ‘uh, this is a friend of mine. he’s Force sensitive but untrained. we may have Force bonded.’
More on the topic of Anakin+water under the cut because this is getting long.
I love this. But what has Qui Gon Jinn being doing this whole time? Apart of missing Obi Wan like ALL THE TIME. He would just be in a diplomacy mission, that is going flawlessly well for the first time in a DECADE and just, turn his head to the left to tell Obi wan to be prepared bc all is probably going to go to shit and- there’s no one there. So he concentrates to the mission and ignores the hole in his chest and ALL IS GOING WELL LIKE THERE’S NOT SECRET PLOT, NO SECRET ARMY, NO PREBUSCENT BOYS RECRUITING HIS PADAWAN and Qui Gon just- ‘Uh, this is what normal feeled like’ And at the end of the mission he’s reporting for the council feeling so unsatisfied that it couldn’t be shielded so the council ask and Qui Gon responds ‘It was just to prefect. It’s highly suspicious’ And Master Windu just can’t with that guy.
LMAO and YES TO ALL OF THIS. I love it. I’ve been sitting here cackling like you have no idea. This is the best. Qui-Gon all perplexed like “is this what missions used to be like? is this what missions are like for other Jedi? they…actually…turn out fine?” There are no more “helpless” creatures finding him and following him, no more being chased through jungles or getting into planetary wars (which in a way is good because he is getting older but he’s also so so bored). Obi-Wan meanwhile is traveling the galaxy getting adopted by wild creatures left and right, starting and putting out literal and metaphorical fires, getting his missions done but also getting side-tracked and taking care of a bunch of random things along the way. He keeps bringing lifeforms he’s found back to Coruscant and the Temple.
Years later, when the clone wars start, absolutely no one is surprised to learn that Obi-Wan was the one to discover both armies. Oh, and at some point, Obi-Wan somehow encounters Boga and she adopts him and follows him home because I love her and need her to be in in this world in some way. But how will she and Ri-Lara get along??? Where will all of them live???
Well at one point The jedi council will just go ‘The hell With it, this place is pretty big and these weird EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND LOVESICK creatures just keep coming in, let’s just give The guy a wing. Or sth
And of course Oboga wan happens. Their relationship is just to precious to not to. And she and Ri-Lara would be that pair of old ladies that bitches about everyone (more anakin than anybody bc hating him is just a must if Obi Wan adopts you. Like that Assaj. She still hasn’t join them, but they have time) and knew each other since diapers
Also, meanwhile everyone is frEAKING about Obi wan’s terrible luck he is obvious. Just doing extraordinary things everyday like a normal thing to do, you know? Sure that two days of secret-planet-with-secret-clone-army-and-grandmaster-turncloack was a little intense, but he’s pretty sure he started a cult in Tatooine somehow and Jawa The Hutt still comns him to curse him un huttese (Anakin didn’t aprove, so he insulted back- The argument lasted five hours. There were even breaks) sometimes so, yes, he just basically tales everything in stride (He swears The rest just like to exagerate. Really. It’s sweet that they worry about him that much though) Oh. And there’s The sith. Somehow -and no, he can’t figure out why- every darksider he mets ends up slighty obsessed With him. Just because. (And then there’s Anakin Skywalker and Qui Con Jinn ‘let’s go to al missions together. Like a team’ Obi Wan loves them, really, but don’t they realize that they’re both a giant, glowing, DANGER MAGNET!??)
Oooh, yes, I like the idea of Obi-Wan getting a whole wing of the Temple to himself. I was thinking he’d have to move to a planet with a more natural environment for for Boga and Ri-Lara. But a whole wing, probably on the same floor as the gardens, would work quite nicely. That whole area becomes a playground for those two; soon, all the Jedi start avoiding it and they get used to hear roars and crashes coming from there during the day. And sometimes pitiful wailing when Obi-Wan’s gone for too long on a mission. Those are somehow the worst.
Anakin’s going to have to strike up a truce with them if he wants to marry Obi-Wan (and he still does). He adds a phase to his plan: Befriend the Terrors.
And haha, one day Ventress shows up at the Temple and Jedi are scrambling for their lightsabers and then Mace notices that she hasn’t lit hers. She’s just calmly standing there, arms crossed and one brow raised and Mace sighs and is like “let me guess, you’re looking for Kenobi?” She gives a short nod and he has her escorted to Obi-Wan’s wing, secretly hoping that one of Obi-Wan’s feral pets will eat her. (They don’t, they quite like her.)
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