My favorite is people who send me unsolicited dick pics and then they’re like, “uh, hi? Are you ignoring me?”
It’s just so funny to me. Like one minute I’m designing bioreactors and getting published for heat dissipation in polymers and then I open this godforsaken app to dudes hanging brain who can’t even pronounce “saponification” calling me a slut because I won’t give attention to their limp excuses for existence.
3 billion years of evolution and the greatest form of communication you can conjure up in your fermented omelet of a conscience is submitting your wrinkly ball sac to a stranger on the Internet to substitute the attention your parents never gave their mistake of an offspring.
–From a Certain Point of View, ”An Incident Report" by Mallory Ortberg
“It must, however, be pointed out that at present the number of planets destroyed solely by the unaided power of the Force is zero.”
MOTTI JUST DRAGGED THE FUCK OUT OF VADER I AM FUCKING LIVING
“I imagine Lord Vader would have had to stand very close to the planet Alderaan indeed today if he wanted to demonstrate how thoroughly his Force-wielding abilities outmatch the Death Star.”
THIS ASSHOLE IS GOING TO DIE, BUT IT WILL BE IN SERVICE OF THE MOST GLORIOUS DRAGGING OF VADER I HAVE EVER SEEN.
“I merely spoke the truth: Lord Vader’s devotion to a nearly extinct faith has not resulted in the recovery of the stolen data tapes, nor has it given him insight into the rebels’ secret base, nor has he ever destroyed a planet.”
“He found my lack of faith disturbing? I have never claimed to be an adherent to his sect. I found his lack of faith in this military installation disturbing.”
MOTTI IS GOING TO FUCKING DIE IN A SPACE DITCH WHERE VADER DUMPS HIS BODY BUT HOLY SHIT HE WENT OUT LIKE A GODDAMNED LEGEND
The 2nd Amendment is no longer the right to bear arms. The 2nd Amendment has become the right to take lives. The 2nd Amendment is no longer aiding citizens. The 2nd Amendment is now abetting murderers.
When the laws don’t work, the laws must change.
Well, clearly you failed 9th grade Social Studies.
You know… I honestly don’t remember how did in 9th grade Social Studies?
I did okay majoring in Political Science and American Government in undergrad though. I graduated summa cum laude so I figure I must have learned something?
Law school also went alright I guess? I did somehow manage to get an article about the constitutionality and modification of excessive force laws through out the 50 states placed in a national publication. And I also managed to pass the Bar Exam.
But yeah it’s totally possible I failed 9th grade social studies tbh. I was a little shit when I was 15 and gave no fucks.
Check this bellend who doesnae ken that Scots, and indeed all “improper” dialects an accents ay English, arenae incompatible wi intelligence oar eloquence ay expression
(I mean, the original post insnae exactly the most poetic ay thoughts, but neither’s fuckin off tae bed wioot gien yer mate a cover, whit the fuck’s wrang wi you, were you raised in a fuckin shed)
Meet the Mona Lisa of the Prado, the earliest known copy of Da Vinci’s best portrait. Similarity in the undersketch of the painting indicates that this was very likely painted concurrently with the original Mona Lisa, by a student of Da Vinci.
There is much controversy in the art world over the question of whether or not to clean the fragile Mona Lisa, but her sister has been restored and some fairly odd later alterations removed to show the original vibrant colors and lighting. Some details, such as the sheerness of her shawl and the pattern on the neckline of her dress, have become utterly obscured in the original, but in the restored copy they’re perfectly clear.
It blows my mind a little bit to look at these two sisters side-by-side and imagine how much vivid detail could be hiding in the Mona Lisa under 500 years of rotten varnish.
THE COPY HAS EYEBROWS
Your response to a beautiful piece of artwork done by Leonardo Da Vinci himself is “SHES GOT EYEBROWS”. Alright. All intelligent life has been lost.
Yo Snooty McSnotwhine, the Mona Lisa’s vanished eyebrows have been the subject of debate and analysis in the art expert community for hundreds of years, long before your parents squirted water at each other from across the clown car and then honked their bicycle horns to indicate they really wanted to make a smug, insufferable little clown baby together.
this continues to be the best reply to a criticizing comment on this site
Steel Phoenix Studios 