O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil’s kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother.
Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig’s snout, mare’s arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!
So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won’t even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we’ll conclude, for we don’t know the date and don’t own a calendar; the moon’s in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day’s the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!
– Koshovyi otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.”
Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV of the Ottoman Empire
In case anyone needed a dramatic reading of the above historical letter.
I’m dying!
Oh my god.
I’m now dying to know what happened next.
Period invective at its finest, even if it may not be quite as period as you think.
(NB – Peter Capaldi’s reading is probably NSFW without headphones.)
Here’s a link to much larger versions of the painting. Take a look at the full-size one: the facial expressions are a treat.
Also, check out Repin’s later, revised but uncompleted “sketch” version, which seems to have Vlad Dracula as a guest star just right of centre.
Listening to Capaldi’s reading you can really imagine this crowd of bros around a table yelling at the guy with the pen not to forget their favourite insult.
me, a femme, tacking a rose and a sports bar gift card onto a fishing line and casting it out into a lesbian bar: find me a butch girlfriend
me, a butch, tacking a rose and a sephora gift card onto a fishing line and casting it out into a lesbian bar: find me a femme girlfriend
Me, a femme, hanging out at the lesbian bar with my butch gf, frantically tangling your fishing hooks together so when you try to reel them in its like the spaghetti scene in lady and the tramp: find eachother you sweet, beautiful, useless lesbians
If the art side of Tumblr doesn’t turn this into a mini-comic then why even does the internet exist
please excuse my quickie doodles, Tumblr
it got absolutely better
IT GOT GAYER
Could be gayer-
You are absolutely right
Decided to do a part 2 since it’s been widely requested
While sailing in the Mediterranean sea, in 1962, the American aircraft carrier USS Independence (CV-62) flashed the Italian Amerigo Vespucci with light signal asking «Who are you?», the full rigged ship answered «Training ship Amerigo Vespucci, Italian Navy». The US ship replied «You are the most beautiful ship in the world».
Great, now I ship actual ships.
You are the most beautiful ship in the world.
Dear god, I’m in love with two ships in love. (Everything is wonderful and nothing hurts.)
In the Italian city of Verona, local street artist Cibo paints colorful wall art full of appetizing food over neo-nazi graffiti (x)
“It’s my civic duty, and my right … honestly I feel like have a right to cover [erase] these kinds of things. Since I’m doing a public form of art, I have to take care of my city and … it’s like my own art gallery. How do you explain a swastika to a child? How do you do it? It’s impossible. It’s a racist message. And it’s not okay .”
Steel Phoenix Studios 
