Lawful good- Hummingbirds. Just look at them and tell me they aren’t blessed paladins of all things good. You can’t.
Neutral good- Finches and sparrows. Peepers. Harmless.
Chaotic good- Parrots? Some are nice birbs but the screetches and the bites..
Lawful neutral- Red winged blackbirds. Insect eater, pretty songs but will heck you up if you get too close to their babies.
True neutral- Pigeons. Bob ya head and coo.
Chaotic neutral- POOTOO
Lawful evil- Shrikes. Birds gotta eat.
Neutral evil- Starlings. Fuck you for killing baby birds.
Chaotic evil- GEESE.
Go, little paladin!
Beautiful
Your next character is a Knight Hummingbird
Also chaotic evil: Seagulls.
Have you ever met a hummingbird? They’re aggressive and cocky as shit. I’ve seen those little bastards divebomb hawks. Repeatedly. They’ll attack each other for territory and food. Or just for shits and giggles. They are manic little daredevils.They’re not Paladins. I’m not sure what they are, but they’re definitely not Paladins.
Hummingbirds are Chaotic Fuck You!
a) Please allow me to suggest corvids as Chaotic Neutral.
What? Who wouldn’t want to be around a bird who put all their stat points into Has No Chill and Has Yes Volume? That’s clearly the best possible combination of traits in a neighbour! 🙂
The chickens care about Things I Can Eat and Things That Can Eat Me; the ducks add Things I Can Have Sex With to that list. Anything you don’t feed on, flee from, or fornicate with might as well not exist to them; they stop paying attention the instant they figure out none of the categories apply. They like humans, but it’s mostly because we give them hard boiled egg sometimes.
It’s not that the peacocks are smarter, but for some reason they care about things that don’t matter. Things they know don’t matter. If you’re out in the pasture and you move a shovel, the peacocks will notice and will come by and look at it in its new place. I’m pretty sure they know they can’t eat a shovel, they just want to know what’s up with it. It’s hilarious and endearing. They’ll put their heads right up next to it and inspect it like they’re looking for shovel contraband, then without moving their feet, they’ll snake their necks around to the back and inspect that side too.
All the things that are irrelevant backdrops to the ducks and chickens must be carefully inspected if you’re a peacock: fallen leaves, a pinecone someone kicked accidentally, boots if the shoelaces are tied differently than earlier, flowers that opened since yesterday, cats sleeping in the sun, hoofprints in muddy ground, tools, tree shadows on the walls of the chicken house, spiderwebs, lily pads, salamanders.They look at the tiny splashy waterfalls in the creek from all angles. I’m reasonably sure I’ve seen them stare at the moon.
I don’t know why they’re like that. However, since I also care about many nonsense things that don’t matter at all to my life, their eccentricity speaks to me. I’m quite fond of the Extra Fancy Weird Bird Squad.
people who complain about dinosaurs “not being scary anymore” because its been discovered they have feathers and are closely related to/ancestors of birds are so bizarre like
its not about how scary they are, they are/were real life animals and what matters is learning more about them, not how well they fit into your science fiction horror film lol
can you imagine a 13 foot chicken running at you with full intent to eat you??? thats fucking terrifying holy shit
peacocks are synonymous with vain, frivolous beauty and they will attack cars. they will attack you while you try to get to your car. they’re like six feet of useless feathers and they will destroy you. imagine if they were carnivorous and had functional spurs.
a t-rex could look like a gay disco ball and i guarantee that you would fucking book it if it had a problem with you
listen
listen
have you ever met a swan
if anything the birdier they get the scarier they are
Australia literally fought a war against giant birds AND FUCKING LOST
“Oh man, I can’t deal with birds ‘cause they’re dinosaurs and sometimes it’s like they get this glint in their eyes and they remember.”
“Have you ever interacted with a goose? ‘Cause those things are dicks.”
If chickens were still the size of a T-Rex we’d all be dead. No question.
Feathered creatures that give some serious lie to the idea that feathered dinosaurs ain’t scary:
This is a bearded vulture, or lammergeier. It’s four feet long and has a nine foot wingspan and it eats bones.
This is a shoebill stork. It dropped the duck without biting down shortly after the picture was taken, but if it had decided not to-
… it could have been the end of the road for that duck.
This is the last thing a fish sees before a macaroni penguin eats it.
This is a secretary bird in the act of demonstrating to Lord Voldemort that he came to the wrong neighborhood, ese.
This is a goose.
This is a vulture.
This is a cassowary on the attack.
Be glad I couldn’t find the actual gif of a pelican swallowing a fish, because it’s freakin’ Lovecraftian in its HEADS SHOULD NOT BEND THAT WAY factor. You’ll have to settle for the idea of a feathered dinosaur suddenly going GLORP and devouring its victims whole just like this lady here.
Steven Spielberg didn’t create these. These are the feet of an emu.
And this is what happens when a swan (this one is named Asboy; his father was Mr. Asbo, the first swan in the UK to get named after an anti-social behavior order in ‘honor’ of his tendency to attack boaters) decides it doesn’t like you. I should probably note that this one attacked a cow.
Respect the feathered dinosaur, yo.
Terrifying. The last two illustrate why you did not fuck around with the Children of Lir.
I suspected that a dinosaur could have been feathered after I heard that a T-Rex is the chickens’ ancestor.
For those who think dinos aren’t cool because they’re feathered…whatever, mutherfuckers. Evolution doesn’t give two shits what you think is cool or not.
You showed a cassowary on the attack, but forgot to show what exactly it’s attacking with. Their feet are nearly identical to the Emu’s, except for one minor, teeny tiny detail: A five-inch claw for killing motherfuckers, raptor-style.
This is like the “fuck birds master post” and I love it because Honestly, Fuck. Birds.
This is an Anna’s Hummingbird; named after Anna Masséna, Duchess of Rivoli.
Also, evidently hand feeding Hummingbirds is a kinda popular thing. All you have to do is put sugar-water that’s been dyed red or any other bright, flower like color in your hand and stand around some hummingbirds.
It highkey looks like that hummingbird just attacked that person’s hand and is now drinking the blood though. Lol
…have you ever met a hummingbird? They want nothing more than blood.
See those feathers? The skeleton they found was so well-preserved that scientists were able to examine the pigment cells in the feathers and compare them to those of modern day birds.
And they were able to do this with such accuracy that they know the coloration of this dinosaur. In life it looked something like this.
It just baffles me that we know the color patterns of an animal that has been dead for 161 million years
They found a prehistoric chicken that wears adidas swear pants my god
Steel Phoenix Studios 