If it will fit into their face, birds will eat it.
If it will not fit into their face, birds will attempt to eat it anyway, and will likely succeed out of sheer spite and hubris.
People are worried about snakes sizing them up to eat (which they don’t even do, by the way), but snakes are just a spine with a face. Ratites like the cassowary here are basically velociraptors that did not Survive The Apocalypse just to put up with human nonsense about who can eat an apple faster. They can. And you’re next.
“good morning!” the bird says to you. “good morning!” the bird’s friend says to you. “good morning!” “good morning!” “good morning!” they are all so happy you are awake and alive!
birds were invented by sticking a bunch of weapons and feathers on a ball of pure hubris and bringing it to life by the power of spite and fight alone, they are completely lacking in the ability to regret bad decisions like the ones about to be made above
I’d contend that they’re dinosaurs who have never quite forgotten it.
OP HOW CAN YOU NOT ADD THE BEST PART OF THIS TWEET THREAD
swans pretty much like that
Honestly the thought of giant ass sparrow like dinosaurs running around is such a good thought could you imagine just seeing a house sparrow but like 6000x the size incredible
I used to feed the crows on campus every day because it was easier than making human friends (I had one already – and Robin likes crows as much as I do). Pretty soon, they figured out where I lived and would alight upon my dorm windowsill and watch me. I offered them only healthy things, like leftover fish, hard boiled eggs, nuts, suet, and dog food. They were already habituated to humans and had no fear of us, and I figured it was better to feed them real food instead of the french fries they’d get tossed.
It only got weird when people began to notice that crows would follow me to class. Two in particular would fly alongside me as I walked across campus, landing and cawing for treats and keeping pace with me. Sometimes people would try to scare them off and I’d have to explain that Heinrich and Fatima weren’t bad omens signaling my doom, just spoiled little brats.
That is the most adorable thing that i have ever heard.
Can you imagine being that bird? You see a big falling dot off in the distance, so you go to investigate. And it’s a human. Just, like, hanging out, in the middle of the sky. Plumbing toward earth at terminal velocity.
“Huh, that’s weird” you think to yourself.
You land on them. They seem nonplussed by their predicament.
But you’re a busy bird, you’ve got places to be. So you just fly off. Good luck, crazy human. Hope you make it.
Steel Phoenix Studios 