elodieunderglass:

garbage-senpai:

notnights:

so-i-did-this-thing:

margary:

My tour of sadness through Megacon.

Omg

I CANT BELIEVE IM LOOKING AT A COSPLAY OF THAT ONE BIRD GIF

omg

IT’S NOT JUST A BIRD GIF IT’S A VERY IMPORTANT BIRD OF PARADISE CALLED THE SUPERB BIRD OF PARADISE, IT IS FAMOUS BECAUSE OF BBC’S PLANET EARTH HOSTED BY DAVID ATTENBOROUGH OKAY

JESUS

IT STARTS THE DANCE AT 2:05

THE COSPLAYER DOES A SPLENDID JOB OF PERFORMING THE MATING DANCE AS SCRIPTED AND I THINK THAT’S VERY IMPORTANT

HERE IS WIKIPEDIA’S FRANKLY SPECTACULAR JUSTIFICATION FOR THE DANCE

The species has an unusually low population of females, and competition
amongst males for mates is intensely fierce. This has led the species to
have one of the most bizarre and elaborate courtship displays in the
avian world. After carefully and meticulously preparing a “dance floor”
(even scrubbing the dirt or branch smooth with leaves), the male first
attracts a female with a loud call. After the curious female approaches,
his folded black feather cape and blue-green breast
shield springs upward and spreads widely and symmetrically around its
head, instantly transforming the frontal view of the bird into a
spectacular ellipse-shaped
creature that rhythmically snaps its tail feathers against each other,
similar to how snapping fingers work, whilst hopping in frantic circles
around the female. The average female rejects 15-20 potential suitors
before consenting to mate.

THIS COSPLAYER HAS TRULY CAPTURED THE SPIRIT OF THE BIRD AND ITS DANCE AT EVERY LEVEL

theawkwardpincushion:

napoleonchingon:

The second best pun I’ve ever encountered in the wild was when I was walking down the street in a “hip” part of Seattle and saw a couple of Budweiser cans thrown into a bush. And I said to a random stranger walking nearby “damn, the local beer harvest is really poor this year”. And the random stranger responded “give it time, they’re only buds”.

why is this the second what the fuck could top that

hellenhighwater:

hellenhighwater:

mewwitch:

yawpkatsi:

hellenhighwater:

yawpkatsi:

Concept: Some jackass shows Bucky how to make a blog and it becomes really popular. Not because it’s the blog of James Buchanan Barnes, American Legend, War Hero, Infamous Assassin, Alleged Terrorist. Nobody even knows it’s his blog. It gets really popular because people think it’s a really great shitpost generator or something. Because Bucky is just a Weird Fucking Person and everything he posts on his fucking personal blog comes off as somewhere between dril and Jaden Smith and people are like “this is some quality garbage right here” and thus Accidental Memelord Bucky is born.

Bucky posts things like

“What is wrong with bananas. I ate a banana today and it was Wrong. America why”

“Every time I put on my eye makeup it gets bigger. My whole face is eyeliner now.”

“Why does friendship feel so much like punching”

“When I wake up in the middle of the night I am either thinking ‘who am I? does my life have meaning?’ or “did I already eat all of the plums?’”

“Why are you so grumpy” they ask me. they do not realize this is just my Face.”

“I know i said i would give my left arm for a cup of coffee but i am more awake now and i would like my arm back please”

“I guess I must have done something horrible in a past life. I mean. I definitely did something horrible in this life, so. “

OMG I LOVEEEE

YEEESSSSSSS!

“Guy in front of me won’t move his car seat up. I think that might still be upset about all those times I tried to kill him.”

“Got lectured by a guy who had been complaining about how things were Back In The Day. I don’t understand why he got upset. I too lived through the Great Depression and was drafted for the War.”

“The economy in this century sucks. Who exactly though another Stock Market crash was a good idea?”

“Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them. On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.”

“‘If you don’t behave we’ll send (mutual) after you.’ Jokes on them. I’m the one who trained them to be an assassin in the first place.”

“Tried to buy a Chicken Dinner candy bar at the supermarket today. Turns out they were discontinued 54 years ago. Super bummed.”

“Wait. People were on the moon?! We got into space? There is a way off of this rock?! Why am I only just hearing about this?!”

“’Have you been living under a rock the past 50 years?’ No I was cryogenically frozen for 70. I don’t appreciate your tone young man.”

“My friend likes convincing people that I’m the Reckless one in our friendship. As if he won’t find an alley behind a bar to pick a fight in if I take my eyes off him for two seconds.”

“Why would i want to get a haircut when instead I can look like i just returned from a 12 year jaunt in the wilderness every time i grow a beard”

“was having a hard time finding noodles in the grocery store & asked a clerk for help. she looked at me like a crazy person. lady, it’s not my fault you don’t speak russian”

“what kind of idiot thinks dancers are sissies? literally every ballerina i have ever met could kill an adult man with just her legs”

“today i discovered Conditioner. the future is a miracle and my hair like a cloud now”

“apparently just jumping on to a moving bus when you are running late is not a thing people do anymore. please stop yelling at me.”

“went to a club last night to see what the hip kids were into. apparently the latest thing is just having sex standing up with your clothes on in a room full of people.”

“on the one hand, people dressed much nicer in the 40s. on the other hand, yoga pants.”

“rode in a car with heated seats today. it is my house now. i live here.”

“i have acquired a small bear. i am putting a collar and leash on him. he is my dog. no one tell animal control”

“i am working on this whole Good Guy thing but anyone who cuts me in line at starbucks deserves to have their kneecaps shot out okay”

“why did they have to make escalators so terrifying to get on and off of? from now on I’m just jumping off the mall balconies. none of this awful moving teeth staircase”

“i don’t care if it’s a ‘priceless historical artifact,’ punk, i didn’t wanna do the dishes and it makes a pretty good spaghetti bowl”

“hoodie pockets are so great. i can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm”

“i really though we would have flying cars by now. the future is such a letdown.”

“changed sam’s ringtone to jesus take the wheel.”

“do you know that feeling when you go to lean on your short friend’s conveniently arm-rest-height shoulder but you forget they had a huge growth spurt and you just awkwardly lean your elbow into the middle of their bicep”

“i swear i didn’t know your girlfriend was coming over. i always ominously clean my assault weapons on the coffee table like that. it had nothing to do with you.”

https://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/steel-phoenix/160061668820/tumblr_m61z05x4Hv1r5xp5g?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio
http://steel-phoenix.tumblr.com/post/160061668820/audio_player_iframe/steel-phoenix/tumblr_m61z05x4Hv1r5xp5g?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Fsteel-phoenix%2F160061668820%2Ftumblr_m61z05x4Hv1r5xp5g

youtriedmusic:

trekkiehasthephonebox:

somecallmesteph:

argh-ugh:

ultimiavlad:

egbertdork:

paarfekt:

stupidphresh:

donafuckingtelli:

raging-raichel:

bonbuns:

lunaticbone:

impercussis:

amixedreality:

divinebrohoodofbuttz:

I can’t even pretend like I can listen to this without laughing.

OMYGOD

OH MY GOD I CHOKED

whAT IS THIS IM CRYAING

This is the theme song to my life.

A for effort

i know i just reblogged this, but i had to again….IT GENIUS

OMFG NOT AGAIN MY EVERYTHING HURTS

hi this is me reincarnated into song form

THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE.

OMG

This just improved my day by 1000%

If my life was a movie this would be at the beginning.

BECAUSE THIS NEVER GETS OLD

And here we are…