kitpurrson-official:

The first time Nursey saw one of those movies where someone drove out to some middle-of-nowhere field and screamed, all he could think was, wow, that’s fucking genius.

As a 15 year old, he was full of annoyances and frustration, but as the only black kid in a place like Andover, he was overflowing with anger and a bullshit sense of otherness they’d forced on him. He wished he could be the guy in that movie, shouting his frustrations out into the void where he couldn’t be judged for it.

At 16 years old, the day he got his driver’s license, he drove to an old farm that’d been abandoned for years a few miles outside the city, and he let everything come pouring out of him. Rich, entitled white kids and their equally shitty parents, his fear of anyone finding out he was queer and becoming even more of an outlier, his mind numbing anxiety about his future.

He was there for two hours. He screamed, and he screamed some more, and then he laughed. He laughed and fell back onto the ground, because fuck, that felt good. Nobody heard it, nobody knew he was anything but the chill facade he’d kept up for years, but he still felt lighter than he had since he was a little kid.

The first time anyone came with him on one of these nights was at Samwell. He’d gotten stoned with Lardo, and he was sat on the couch watching a movie, pleasantly fuzzy, when Chowder slammed the front door of the house and stalked in, pausing and forcing his face into something happier when he saw Nursey.

“Hey,” he said, a tight smile on his face.

Nursey shook his head and stood, grabbing Chowder by the arm and dragging him outside.

“Get in,” he said, nodding towards his car. “You’re driving because I smoked with Lards earlier. I’ll tell you where to go. It’ll make you feel better, I swear.”

Chowder nodded and opened the door on the driver’s side, hopping in and waiting for Nursey to follow and hand him the keys. Nursey did so, and Chowder started the car, pulling away from the Haus and following Nursey’s directions.

Nursey directed him to a grassy hilltop half an hour away from Samwell, and ignored Chowder’s confused expression, sliding out of the car and walking to the peak of it. Chowder followed him and stood next to him, unsure of what they were doing here.

“I know it’s cliché as fuck and something straight out of teenage movies, but this shit works,” he said. “Just fucking scream man. Doesn’t even have to be words, if you don’t want it to be, it’s just the best thing to get everything out.”

Chowder nodded and took a deep breath, shouting in the direction of the trees. There weren’t any words, just a frustrated scream into the air.

“Hell yeah!” Nursey shouted when Chowder was done, clapping him on the back. “It helps, right?”

Chowder nodded, his face surprised.

“You do this a lot?” he asked.

“Not as much as I used to, but yeah. How do you think I can be so chill when people are being pieces of shit? I get to come here and scream about how shit they are afterwards,” he said, nodding his head.

Chowder laughed, smiling as he yelled again, though this time it was a “Fuck you, Williams!”

Nursey lost it at that, flopping down onto the ground and cackling. He cupped his hands around his mouth, a smile on his face, shouting, “Yeah, fuck you, whoever the fuck you are!”

Chowder sat next to him, out of breath from laughing, and laid his head on Nursey’s shoulder.

“Thanks for this,” he said, a small smile on his face.

“Anytime, man. Just don’t tell anyone about this place. Except maybe Lardo,” Nursey told him.

“Nobody else knows?” Chowder asked, his surprise evident in his voice.

“Hell no, who else would I bring? Everybody else has a way of dealing with their shit.”

Chowder nodded.

“Lardo would think you’re a genius,” he said.

“Probably. I’ll bring her too next time.”

When they did bring Lardo, she put them both to shame, screaming about everything that pissed her off until her voice went hoarse. And she did, in fact, think Nursey was a genius for it.