Hardison has a rule that he will never, ever hack into any Stark Industries servers. He’s heard enough horror stories, thank you kindly. The only person who he knows of who ever got anywhere is this person with the handle J.A.R.V.I.S., but he doesn’t know if that’s a rumour or not.
Nate knows every piece of art in the Stark-Potts collection and what it’s worth. He has retrieved at least four pieces. Pepper knows him by name. When he loses his job and Sterling takes over, Tony is like: why can’t we have the other one back? He’s an alcoholic? SO? I HAVE A BAR. HE CAN DRINK HERE. I DON’T LIKE THIS NEW ONE PEP.
Special agents Thomas and Hagen get assigned to SHIELD as FBI liaisons. SHIELD totally knows Parker and Hardison aren’t really FBI, but they know about Leverage and are like: eh, it’s fine, just keep them away from any alien stuff and don’t let them steal anything.
(Also, I’m not saying Melinda May and Eliot may have had a fling in the past but Melinda May and Eliot may have had a fling in the past.)
Sophie once dated Tony Stark for a weekend. She wasn’t even trying to con him, she just saw an opportunity while conning someone else and was like: you only live once. She won’t tell anyone if she slept with him or not, just smiles mysteriously and says ‘he was a perfect gentleman… until I asked him not to be’. It drives Nate insane. (What she means is they went to get greasy burgers at an all-night diner after a gala, in their fancy clothes.)
Parker likes watching videos of Black Widow and seeing if she can replicate her moves. Eliot may have been a Very Willing Test Subject for the Death By Thighs move.
There is also a week where she decides she wants to be like Hawkeye. Nate has to ban sucker darts and toy bows before Eliot murders her. Or Sophie. Or Nate himself. Hardison is immune and probably builds her a sucker dart compound bow with laser guide.
Nate has Complicated Feelings about Captain America being back because Sam used to love the comics and he’s not sure if this guy is the real deal and will live up to the hero his son worshipped.
Nate gets over himself pretty quickly when he sees Steve Rogers cuss out a Fox reporter who tried to stop him on the street to get him to condemn vaccines and universal health care. They watch the 25 minute lecture-rant at least three times as a team. Nate thinks he’d like to buy Captain America a drink.
Nobody mention the similarities between Eliot Spencer and Bucky Barnes, it will not end well.
Especially when one time, Captain America and his buddy The Falcon showed up because they got a tip Bucky was ‘working at a brewpub in Portland’ and Eliot had to let him down that sorry, he was the only long-haired murderfaced assassin at this pub. He offered them dinner on the house and very manfully made it all the way to the back of the kitchen before doing a little freak out fanboy dance because he shook Captain America’s hand, Hardison, oh my god I’m going to feed him so much chili.
They have to distract Parker from trying to steal Sam’s wings. And make her give back Steve’s wallet. Twice.
The week Wakanda made itself known to the world is the week Hardison lost the ability to speak in anything other than high pitched squeaks of delight and awe. (Hardison literally faints when his online gaming buddy shows up at the brewpub like: what up, Hardison, guess who’s actually the princess of Wakanda and has a badass invisible ship.)
Thank
you so much for your kind letter of the 17th. It is always a pleasure
to hear from you. I do appreciate your waiving the rules about
familiars to allow Wednesday to bring little Homer – she dotes on
that spider, and I don’t think she could consider Hogwarts home
without his company.
We
were delighted but completely unsurprised by the children’s Sorting.
Of course Wednesday is a Ravenclaw – she has always had a brilliant
mind, and it is rather traditional for the women in our
family. Slytherin might have been a possibility, with her cleverness
and ambition, but sadly (and quietly, between friends) I must admit
the wrong sort have rather taken over that House at the moment. Death
Eaters are so vulgar. Gomez, naturally, is over the moon about
our little Harry being a fellow Gryffindor – the world does need more
dashing, brave, and reckless men. They make life so interesting for
the rest of us, don’t you agree? And I am certain he will be safe
under your care, after his rather difficult start in life, poor
child. That aunt and uncle of his are just too terribly common to
protect him adequately – I am grateful Albus saw sense and left him
with us rather than her.
I
appreciate your bringing to my attention the small difficulty between
Harry and Draco – I shall have a word with Narcissa. (Lucius is still
being terribly silly about that little peacock incident, and refuses
to speak to Gomez at all. Men can be so ridiculously proud. And they
really did look so much better in black.) Really, though, Harry was
only defending his friend. I probably should warn you that Wednesday
writes that she is teaching young Longbottom a few of her more subtle
defenses – I sincerely doubt Draco will trouble him in future if he
uses those. I assure you, none of them cause permanent damage, only
temporary discomfort, and she is well aware that they are only for
self-defense, not mere childish aggression. Addamses do not start
fights, but we do finish them, and Wednesday has always looked out
for her brothers.
At
least that little incident allowed you to see Harry’s flying skills
in time to recruit him for the Quidditch team. I think he shall be an
excellent Seeker – he was always the best at bat-spotting on summer
evenings, and then there was the time he “borrowed” Gomez’s
broom to rescue Pugsley’s pet octopus Aristotle, who had developed an
unaccountable taste for tree-climbing, but had neglected to learn how
to climb down. It was a successful rescue, even though he was mildly hampered on his descent by Aristotle clinging to his face in terror.
Please
send my apologies to Severus for that unfortunate incident in Potions
class. I should have warned him that Wednesday was experimenting
with, shall we say, some variant recipes. I am quite certain,
however, that Miss Parkinson’s hair will grow back normally, and that
the snakes are only a temporary embellishment.
My
best regards, and do drop by for tea if you ever happen to be in the
neighborhood. Thing has perfected your favorite shortbread recipe – I
do believe he has a little crush on you. Or perhaps it is merely that
you are the only visitor we have had, outside of family, who is
sensible enough to shake hands with him without flinching.
So then, what is your opinion on the Actor for Elliot saying that Elliot used to be apart of a Star Gate team from the Stargate: SG1 series?
I love it. LOVE IT. It fixes literally the only flaw that I actually cared about in the show.
The thing that made my eye twitch a little bit in the first couple of seasons of Leverage was the hacking – the ‘I know he’s a Super Genius, but the hardware for what he’s doing with that flip phone literally cannot do what they’re doing’.
But if it’s in the Stargate universe, then of course some of that advanced tech has slipped unnoticed into the private sector. Boom! Suspension of disbelief now fully back in play.
(SG:1 was my main obsession for years – including a decade of playing in and running a Stargate online game (OCs). It was before I’d gotten back into any kind of online fandom, mind you, so I didn’t do fic, but nevertheless! My screen-correct gate team jacket – the style Daniel’s wearing in the top gif – is still my favourite piece of cosplay ever.)
It also means that Hardison, knowingly or unknowingly, has forced Eliot to sit through episodes of Wormhole X-Treme.
And that is everything to me.
Both. So very both. So Hardison absolutely did it accidentally to complain about the special effects/plot implausibility at some point. And then after the Gone Fishin’ Job and probably after the trio gets together, he FINALLY figures it out.
Probably tries hacking the Mountain, too, now that I think about it. Given Hardison I’m not even placing odds either way.
Anyway picture it: it’s been a year or two since Alec last inflicted Wormhole X-Treme on Eliot, who thought he was safe from That Goddamn Show. And then one TV night becomes one marathon session of That Goddamn Show and literally the only saving grace for his nerves is that Alec’s poker face is not, and his shit-eating grin keeps sneaking out.
Usually, Eliot thinks, when he’s picturing Eliot doing the shit on the show.
I’m now convinced Sam Carter called up Eliot more than once and said “Spencer, could you please convince your boyfriend to stop trying to hack us? If he keeps this up it’s either we recruit him or jail and I don’t want to deal with your girlfriend and Vala getting into shit. Teal’c says hi, by the way.”
Steel Phoenix Studios 