in d&d, deer have 14 wisdom. a deer is just as wise as my ranger for whom i put his second-highest ability roll in wisdom and who uses wisdom to cast most of his spells. a deer is wiser than everyone in the friendship campaign party other than erwyn, who is tied with said deer. what the fuck
The Black Footed cat is the smallest wild cat in Africa and one of the smallest wild cats in the world.
Here’s an adult kitty for size comparison:
too smoll
OK but you can’t mention my all-time favorite cat without also mentioning that these little motherfuckers are legendary for being 1000% ready to throw down with anyone at any time, they’ve literally been seen trying to fight a giraffe and are known to successfully bring down sheep by getting underneath them and ripping their bellies open like what the fuck, chill
Their name in Afrikaans means “anthill tiger” because they’ll hide inside a hollowed out anthill and then jump out and try to rip your face off
Lawful good- Hummingbirds. Just look at them and tell me they aren’t blessed paladins of all things good. You can’t.
Neutral good- Finches and sparrows. Peepers. Harmless.
Chaotic good- Parrots? Some are nice birbs but the screetches and the bites..
Lawful neutral- Red winged blackbirds. Insect eater, pretty songs but will heck you up if you get too close to their babies.
True neutral- Pigeons. Bob ya head and coo.
Chaotic neutral- POOTOO
Lawful evil- Shrikes. Birds gotta eat.
Neutral evil- Starlings. Fuck you for killing baby birds.
Chaotic evil- GEESE.
Go, little paladin!
Beautiful
Your next character is a Knight Hummingbird
Also chaotic evil: Seagulls.
Have you ever met a hummingbird? They’re aggressive and cocky as shit. I’ve seen those little bastards divebomb hawks. Repeatedly. They’ll attack each other for territory and food. Or just for shits and giggles. They are manic little daredevils.They’re not Paladins. I’m not sure what they are, but they’re definitely not Paladins.
Hummingbirds are Chaotic Fuck You!
a) Please allow me to suggest corvids as Chaotic Neutral.
every cat exists on a sliding scale of ‘unit’ to ‘goblin’ with exotic longhairs and oriental shorthairs both being on the extreme yet opposite ends of the spectrum
shoutout to @archangelpng for creating & submitting this explosive take
What? Who wouldn’t want to be around a bird who put all their stat points into Has No Chill and Has Yes Volume? That’s clearly the best possible combination of traits in a neighbour! 🙂
The chickens care about Things I Can Eat and Things That Can Eat Me; the ducks add Things I Can Have Sex With to that list. Anything you don’t feed on, flee from, or fornicate with might as well not exist to them; they stop paying attention the instant they figure out none of the categories apply. They like humans, but it’s mostly because we give them hard boiled egg sometimes.
It’s not that the peacocks are smarter, but for some reason they care about things that don’t matter. Things they know don’t matter. If you’re out in the pasture and you move a shovel, the peacocks will notice and will come by and look at it in its new place. I’m pretty sure they know they can’t eat a shovel, they just want to know what’s up with it. It’s hilarious and endearing. They’ll put their heads right up next to it and inspect it like they’re looking for shovel contraband, then without moving their feet, they’ll snake their necks around to the back and inspect that side too.
All the things that are irrelevant backdrops to the ducks and chickens must be carefully inspected if you’re a peacock: fallen leaves, a pinecone someone kicked accidentally, boots if the shoelaces are tied differently than earlier, flowers that opened since yesterday, cats sleeping in the sun, hoofprints in muddy ground, tools, tree shadows on the walls of the chicken house, spiderwebs, lily pads, salamanders.They look at the tiny splashy waterfalls in the creek from all angles. I’m reasonably sure I’ve seen them stare at the moon.
I don’t know why they’re like that. However, since I also care about many nonsense things that don’t matter at all to my life, their eccentricity speaks to me. I’m quite fond of the Extra Fancy Weird Bird Squad.
Steel Phoenix Studios 