Give me Superman with an awful southern accent. Give me Clark Kent sounding like he grew up on a farm (oh wait). Give me Superman the Journalist using y’all and all y’all and ain’t. Basically just give me Superman from Kansas
And DEFENDING IT.
“No, Lois, it’s not bad English. It’s a descriptive grammar theory and it serves a linguistic function.”
“C’mon, Smallville, are you really defending your use of ain’t?”
“Some of us actually went to class in college. If y’all are gonna give me a hard time about it, I’m gonna fight back.”
Clark making that “oop” noise when he bumps into inanimate objects.
actually this would be a fantastic addition to his secret identity, because if Clark had a super strong accent but Superman didn’t, it would help with the whole, hey-have-you-ever-noticed-Clark-sounds-exactly-like-Superman? thing.
also, he would totally make the oop noise. but if he accidentally bumped into an inanimate object it would probably crumple. Just picture Superman clipping a brick wall as he rounds a corner and going ‘oop’ as the wall collapses
Marvel: Are you ready for the GOD of motherFUCKING THUNDER?????? He’s six feet of RAWMUSCLE and his hobbies include SMASHING things with a HUGE, MAGICHAMMER and being a generally SEXY BEAST
The fandom:
10/10 gif usage
The funniest thing is I imagine Diana and Thor would get along very well, and bond over their dads being the head honchos of the gods. Also lightning and thunder! Diana would probably be like a slightly exasperated big sister to Thor at times. Oh and she can 100% lift Mjolnir and wield Stormbreaker.
and we all know how Thor feels about female warriors. he would think Diana is the absolute coolest
Mjolnir? Stormbeaker? If Thor met her he would absolutely gush over her Lasso of truth!! A weapon designed to have one last ditch effort to resolve a situation even when your opponent has already resigned to battle? One last chance to resolve the conflict before anyone has to get hurt? Even just the fact that it can grapple an enemy instead of kill them outright. Thor would be in awe of Wonder Woman. To Thor she is everything a leader should be, brave, strong, wise, and just like Thor she is enamored by humanity despite it’s flaws. Wonder Woman is Thor’s goals personified. She’s the leader he wants to be
Did you know that most 8 year olds are in grades 2-3? They’re, on average, 3 ¾-4 feet tall. They weigh 50-60 pounds, about the same as a bulldog.
This is just a random set of facts, and is in no way connected to the fact that a lot of people think Dick started fighting crime at 8.
Okay, but now I’m picturing Bruce dealing with a very tiny child who insists on accompanying him in this bright costume and Bruce is like, okay. You can “fight crime” with me.
Cue Bruce running along rooftops, with lil’ Dickie on his heals keeping carefully curated coms with Alfred.
The streets are clear. Because Bruce made sure of it like, two hours ago. But Bruce has this “patrol” parkour route all figured out to give him a workout and Dick an outlet for all that energy.
Agent A occasionally spices things up by identifying cats “stuck” in trees (Thank you, Selina). And letting them know when there’s someone very elderly or otherwise vulnerable who could use a late-night escort from Leslie’s clinic.
Dick doesn’t catch on for years, because Bruce isn’t really lying. It is genuinely important to him that Dick learn that walking a lone drunk girl home or helping that old homeless guy stand and giving him a Wayne Enterprises reference card so he can apply for a job is every bit an act of fighting crime as punching a thug in the face.
AU where the Justice League forms like usual, except Batman
maintained his “totally a myth” status and has in fact been active for years before the JL forms. He’s very
cautious about trusting them, but still joins, and the others sort of accepts
that as long as they trust that Batman has a really hard time with trust, it will
all work out in its own weird way
Then, one day, in the middle of a JL mission, the League gets
in a tight spot. Out of nowhere, this blue and black blur swoops in and saves everyone’s
ass. Maybe breaking some shackles that were proving very difficult, maybe disarm
a bomb that the League was just a hair’s breadth too slow to reach without
help, but whatever happens, the shadowy figure pauses just long enough to say, “Hey,
Batman, you know you there are these things called cellphones now and you can just call sometimes, it doesn’t have to be this dramatic?” and bounds away after
shouting ‘let’s do brunch! Bring your new friends!’
Batman is mortified.
No one lets it go.
The entire rest of the mission, the whole League is asking so
many questions. Who was that? Do you know him? How do you know him? What’s going on? I didn’t know there was a
vigilante in this area?? They don’t let up until he talks.
“That was Nightwing.” Batman is mumbling. The JL forces him
to bring them to the Brunch. Brunch happens to be in a run-down apartment on
the edge of a bad neighborhood, at five in the morning, in costume. Nightwing
introduces himself as Batman’s lovechild with justice.
“I did not realize Batman had a child,” Martian Manhunter
says, calmly enough that no one’s sure if he’s accidentally plucking a really
loud thought out of the air or if he’s trying to make a joke.
Nightwing stares for a moment falling over laughing. He doesn’t
get up. Batman starts trying to apply anti-Joker venom but Nightwing just kicks
him and laughs until he cries. He keeps trying to wipe his eyes and his mask
keeps getting in the way, so he asks everyone to leave so he can please get
a hold of himself
He is still laughing when they leave. Everyone is confused.
Batman is furious. Nightwing manages to
breathe long enough to say, “We’re just so glad
you’re socializing now, Batman.”
Superman turns to look at Batman very slowly. “…’we’?”
How about instead of taking Gal Gadot out they team up and kick some nasty people’s asses?
TEAM UP
Diana does have a twin. Two Wonder Women, one made from white clay and one from black.
I’d give my entire college fund to see this happen! 👏🏽❤️
Team up! Team up! Team up!
Her name is Nubia. In the comics, she was also sculpted from clay, like Diana, only she was kidnapped by Ares and trained to fight by him. She was made to literally be Diana’s equal in every way, and even uses the name Wonder Woman as well.
It’s often been remarked that Spider-Man’s schtick wouldn’t work nearly so well if he didn’t live in a town with so many tall buildings, but consider: how well would Batman’s “I am the night” routine work if he was operating out of a normal city where people actually live, rather than a perpetually twilit urban hellscape that looks like the Art Deco movement had a one-night stand with Soviet Brutalism in a wrought-iron-and-gargoyle factory?
That is my favorite description of the Batman aesthetic ever.
OMDFG that’s a perfect description.
Imagine Spiderman ballooning in wide open areas. No, sorry, can’t get to that crime, its against the prevailing wind.
Also, Batman brooding on top of a Wafflehouse.
Batman: God, this stupid city with its sufficient lighting and lack of crumbling infrastructure to shoot grappling hooks into
Superman: Everyone for miles has lead poisoning, I’ve spent the entire night stopping crossword puzzle museum robberies and heists at the Second National Bank of Gotham on the corner of second street and second avenue, and earlier the wall of…clouds? smog?…cleared up for a minute and I’m pretty sure the sky was literally blood red
I WANT TO KNOW THE STORY BEHIND THIS. I HONESTLY THOUGHT THEY WERE LOVERS.
Okay, okay, so short version:
Joker seduced Harley while he was in Arkham and she was his psychologist. He did so by manipulating sessions to make him seem pitiable.
Harley broke Joker out. Joker was originally going to kill her then, but fans had latched onto Harley Quinn’s new look and she was a fan favorite (mind you as I recall, she was originally introduced in BTAS, and then transferred to the comics later). So she ended up surviving his first murder attempt.
He decided that although annoying she could still be useful (since she’s actually brilliant, and at this point somewhat codependent). This leads to a string of horrific abuses and murder attempts. Including (in the TV show alone) throwing her through a window that is at *least* three stories up, choking her, beating her with a hammer, threatening her with one of his gag guns (which, depending on the gun, may or may not kill her in various ways), and attempting to get hyenas to eat her.
In the comics, it includes starving her, chaining her to a wall in a sewer on top of corpses of “failed Harleys,” poisoning her, leaving her in burning buildings, pushing her into the line of police fire, gaslighting her basically every time he fails to kill her, and the list goes on. When she becomes pregnant with her and Joker’s kid, she leaves for nine months, to her sister’s place, and gives birth there. She doesn’t tell Joker about the kid (and goes out of her way to prevent Joker from finding out). She tells Canary that it’s because Mr. J would be too busy for a kid, but if you pay attention to Harley’s behavior throughout the comic, the clear subtext is “My kid would end up dead or worse if Joker knew about her.”
Additionally, post break up, she notes he was abusive, says it wasn’t love, it was manipulation, and frequently describes it as the worst part of her life.
I’m no expert but I remember one more thing… she said he never noticed she was gone for those 9 months.
THANK YOU FOR CLEARING THIS UP.
This is why couples are creepy as fuck for dressing up as Harley and the joker and why people are especially fucked up for thinking the relationship they had in suicide squad was “goals”
Steel Phoenix Studios 