Things I need in life and am willing to write myself to make it happen:
A modern adaptation of Dracula where everything is the same but Jonathan harker is a woman
Like cute nerdy recent law school grad Joanna Harker and her equally nerdy English teacher fiancee Mina and she gets her first job at a law firm and its sorting out some real estate paperwork for a foreign aristocrat and she’s very excited to be trusted with such an important task and she films Mina cute video diaries from her phone as she travels whenever the signals to weak to call her and then dracula’s castle is a deadzone (bc of supernatural bs or just cuz it’s the middle of nowhere) so she can only send out super censored letters and but she’s still filming and taking photos and her last video before she escapes is her saying goodbye to Mina because the phone is going to die and then it plays out like it does in the novel
And listen it would be so good and we’d get happy ever after vampire killing lesbians what more do you want
#and
I think it takes away a lot of the gross ‘sex is inherently evil and
predatory’ readings of the original text that ppl are so fond of #by instead presenting the count as a figure of toxic masculinity #also I really just want vampire hunting lesbian nerds who pledge to follow each other into hell but get a happy ending #and Jonathan/Mina is at the core a story of survival and recovery from abuse and finding happiness despite trauma #and I think that’s the kind of story gay people are so very often deprived of #so yeah I want this #also I would ideally cast angel coulby as Mina because she would be perfect #and maybe Ellen page as Joanna #so picture that please #also!
it would further cement drac as a villain because he’s trying to tear
these women apart and there’s a lot to be explored in terms of #the violence wlw face from straight men #without killing any of them off #like suddenly drac trying to turn Mina takes on a whole other level of horrifying #instead of being romanticized like so many male directors are fond of doing
Tag: dracula
THE LIST OF THINGS NINTENDO PREDATES INCLUDES, BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO:
THE SHERLOCK HOLMES FRANCHISE
UNITED STATES PRESIDENT DWIGHT D. EISHENHOWER’S BIRTH
THE NOVEL “DRACULA”
THE NOVELS “THE TIME MACHINE” AND “WAR OF THE WORLDS” BY H.G. WELLS
THE FIRST MODERN OLYMPIC GAMES
THE DISCOVERY OF HELIUM ON EARTH
… Okay. I believe you. But like… how?
NINTENDO WAS FOUNDED IN 1889 AS A CARD GAME MANUFACTURER AND ALL THOSE OTHER THINGS HAPPENED IN 1890 OR LATER
WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT DRACULA WAS EARLIER WHAT THE FUCK
YOU COULD WRITE A DRACULA FANFIC WHERE DRACULA TRAVELS TO JAPAN AND BUYS A PACK OF NINTENDO BRAND PLAYING CARDS AND IT WOULD BE HISTORICALLY ACCURATE. SAME DEAL FOR SHERLOCK HOLMES.
No no no no no!
Don’t write fanfic!
Those things are in the public domain!
You can legally write, publish, and sell a Dracula book where Dracula travels to Japan and buys a pack of Nintendo brand playing cards!
Same deal for Sherlock Holmes!
what if you write a book where dracula and sherlock holmes travel to japan at the same time and reach for the last pack of nintendo brand playing cards that they both wanted
Dracula travels to Japan for some Nintendo cards and a murder takes place. Is it Dracula? Who knows, but Sherlock Holmes has been asked to solve the murder and must visit Nintendo and purchase a pack for analysis.
Dracula and Sherlock Holmes travel to Japan at the same time and reach for the last pack of Nintendo brand playing cards.
Their hands touch.
Steel Phoenix Studios 