I was walking in the forest during winter, and saw a wendigo sitting under a tree. I asked it if it was going to kill me. It said, “No, this is just a dream.” So I sat next to it in the snow for a bit and then he said, “The anger in your heart warms you now, but will leave you cold in your grave.” And then I woke up.
That I was out playing pokemon go, and people all over the world had started seeing this new pokemon popping up. Like out of nowhere this little thing started appearing occasionally. No word from Nyantic or The Pokemon Company about when or why they had released it. The pokemon was called “sleepytired” and it looked like this.
And you couldn’t catch it, the ball would just go straight through it. People were data mining and shit trying to figure out how to catch this thing but they couldn’t. Eventually they would just have to give up and leave the encounter.
After a few weeks of people reporting sightings of it, and no word from Nyantic, some creepy shit started happening…
What started happening was, if you entered an encounter with a “sleepytired” with the AR on it would manifest in the real world. But it wouldn’t do anything. It would just float there, watching.
So people being curious started doing this whenever they could, and these things would just manifest and stay there. Obviously this was causing problems because these things would just be floating menacingly in local parks and in the local McDonald. And they couldn’t be moved, because anyone who tried to move them or touch them would be struck by sudden, intense, chronic fatigue that seemingly had no cure.
The last part of the dream I remember was watching a news broadcast telling people that pokemon go was now illegal, and to avoid touching or disturbing the creepy little things that are now just about everywhere.
Had a dream I was playing an indie game about a 1950’s housewife trying to kill her husband.
The objective of the game was to kill him without A) alerting the husband, B) getting caught by your busybody neighbor, or C) accidentally killing your kids/have them walk in on you murdering their dad.
The first level was that you had to slip poison into his food or drink, since that was subtle and easy enough. But I think as the levels progressed, the murder attempts got more…gruesome and difficult to hide. I remember using garden sheers at one point.
And the game had a 1950s advert style to it, kind of how Bendy and the Ink Machine is stylized
^ kind of like that
Anyway I’m calling it Desperate Housewife and if anyone wants to actually make that game gimme some credit lmao
I just had this hyper-realistic dream and like. I don’t even know what to make of this lmao
I was sitting in this park, on a bench, looking up at the night sky and all the stars and stuff, and I blinked and suddenly the entire sky was different. I’m talking different constellations, the sky absolutely packed with billions more stars, some so close they’re massive. I’m like wtf and suddenly I realise there’s an old man sitting next to me, dressed in like 1940s clothing, also looking up at the sky.
before I can ask him if he’s you know, noticed, he speaks, without looking away from the sky.
“this is what the universe really looks like,” he tells me.
“oh,” I say. a pause. “…can you put it back?”
he smiles and nods. I look up. the sky has gone back to normal.
“what do I do with this information?” I ask, looking at him again.
he turns his head and, smiling, looks me dead in the face. "be careful.“
hey op im pretty sure you mightve just met god or something like that
Keep track of how far you travel at night. It’s a big universe, kids. ❤
So I had a dream today I told the world’s worst joke. I woke up, wrote it down, and it is
1.) Coherent 2.) A complete joke 3.) Pretty bad
So I present to you, Atma’s Dream Joke
A woman is lost in a desert. She is growing bored and horny and screams out “As God as my witness, I will fuck the next object I see, regardless.” God drops down a printer cartridge. The woman asks “What the fuck, God?” and God replies “It really sets the tone for your situation, doesn’t it?”
This is beautiful, thank you, I’m texting it to my mother.
oh so this is the post i’m gonna be known for. could be a lot worse.
tell me what your mom thinks, please
Mom thinks your subconcious is a comedic genius and that you should listen to it more.
I had a dream I was able to time travel and I went like 10,20,100,1000,2000 years into the future but the instant I went to 4,000 I got stuck in a time dilation jail set up by the American government in the year 3,877 in which anyone that tried to time travel back or forth across May 23, 3877 while on Earth would end up stuck in this time dilation chamber trap to stop time travelers but like it was so crazy and mismanaged because it was legit capturing like every single time traveler ever and the place had only been open for 12 minutes and was already getting overpopulated with nonstop multiple recursive instances of this one other guy trying to break previous versions of himself out of this god damn time traveler jail
that is fucking hysterical and absolutely sounds like something the American Government would set up.
so i fell asleep at my desk for a few seconds and woke up abruptly to the thought “WHO CARES!? THESE ARE ASSLESS CHAPS!!!” burning through my mind
i dont understand
It’s ok, I woke up two weeks ago to slapping my knuckles over my desk, and swore loudly. Only problem was that I suddenly had a thick Brooklyn accent, and thought I was a 1940s mobster for 30 seconds upon waking.
I LOVE STUFF LIKE THIS?
I did the same thing once, where when I woke up I seriously thought I was Superman for at least a good minute or so. I was reaching for my phone thinking, “Oh my God, I’ve been hiding it this whole time, I’ve gotta tell my boyfriend I’m superman.” And as I was very tiredly and sloppily writing the text I stopped what I was doing and was like, “What the fuck.”
Yes. More. I need more stories.
one morning i woke up absolutely convinced that my mom had faked her husbands death for tax purposes and i was so mad cuz i had to go to his stupid funeral with his dumb family and i thought we had finally gotten rid of him all for it to be a lie then like half an hour later im like “wait…” I told her about it later and she told me faking his death wouldnt have done much for her tax wise at all
Mine are always like “Oh fuck someone I love has died.” which is pretty scary to wake up to. But my favorite wtf one is that I woke up and I expected to wake up like at 12pm, I’d set an alarm for it etc….
I woke up at 8pm.
My immediate reaction to it being dark outside?
“Oh fuck it’s nuclear winter”
I once dreamed that I was a pirate tying a lot of knots for sail-hoisting purposes. Woke up to find that I’d wrapped our kitten in about three blankets. He wouldn’t sleep within arm’s reach of me for two years after that.
Another time, I was woken up by lightning striking a tree in our yard, and I genuinely thought I was somewhere to do with cannons for about 10 seconds.
And then there was that time I was dreaming about boring house things, walked outside, found a canyon in our yard, woke up, got out of bed, walked downstairs, went outside, saw a flying saucer, woke up, got out of bed, had breakfast, and spent the whole day quietly expecting that I was about to wake up.
Brains are weird and sometimes they forget how to reality.
Oh my god I love this.
My sister once went and woke up or dad to ask for lunch money and he asked her if she’d gotten the rubies yet and she said no and he told she had to get the rubies first and so she left and came back a little while later to ask again and he asked her if she’d gotten the rubies yet and she said yes and he told her okay and that she could take the $10 in his wallet.
I once had a dream that my house (and everything in it) was being claimed by loan sharks because I was so poor/in debt/or something, in my dream. I then woke up panicking/crying and looking around, confused as to why everything was still in my room. It took at least 20 seconds for me to figure out why.
I came out of like 1 second of microsleep with the idea that Plants vs. Zombies had introduced a Charging Mooseflower.
I once woke up, and very deliberately bashed my head into the wall. For some reason I thought that was really important to do.
mine are always like weird random phrases that are just in my head and seem vitally important like one time i woke and thought to myself “a dead man’s mouth must taste like cabbage”
once while in a hotel room i had a nightmare about trying to escape from a nuclear apocalypse. i failed, and got asploded. my mental movie screen went black for a long moment, and then i woke up to see the words SHIT HAPPENS written on the hotel room wall in cheerful birthday cake cursive.
i stared at this for what felt like a good 15 minutes, checking that yes i was definitely awake, my spouse was snoring behind me, i was in the hotel room where i was supposed to be, and yet the words were definitely right there… until suddenly they weren’t, and it was just the shadow of a tree outside.
being wide awake in every way except the shadows are randomly making fun of your cold war PTSD… that was the weirdest goddamn morning.
I have woken up and punched the nearest wall to my bed on several occasions
Another time I woke up and head butted a wall
I woke a friend up for work once and she was just like “so it’s time to make the shields for the invasion?” She didn’t understand why I was laughing for like 3 minutes
I was on holiday in Japan about three months after I finished my masters degree, and woke up at about 4am absolutely convinced I had an assignment due in the morning that I’d not yet started or submitted… to the point that I got out of bed, turned my laptop on and was about to startit. It only then occurred to me, when staring at the backlit screen, that the degree ended months ago, that I was not in my bedroom, and I was in another bloody country trying to relax.
I once woke up to the fire alarm and a room filled with smoke, only to realize five panic stricken seconds later that it was a car alarm outside and I was staring at my white wall.
i woke up in my hotel room in australia to someone having pulled the fire alarm but i was completely convinced it was a tsunami alarm and that I could see the wave right outside the window and i just fuckin bolted out that room and left my family behind and i almost ran straight out the from door until some people in the lobby were like excuse me miss what the hell are you doing
I distinctly remember waking up once and my first, instant thought was the specific phrase “wait…aliens aren’t allowed to ride bicycles…”
I once had a very involved dream about defending a castle with a very large, oddly shaped moat. I woke up with the word “Caerphilly” in my head and the absolute certainty that I needed to get to the castle. My mom thought my subconscious was telling me “carefully,” but I was convinced it was the name of the castle. I googled it. Caerphilly Castle is in Wales. And it has a very large, oddly shaped moat. I have never been to Wales.
I once woke up one morning to see a man’s big hairy leg sticking out from under the covers in my bed. I flipped out for a good few seconds before I realized that it was, in fact, my own unshaven leg.
Incredible
i once woke up convinced that my parents had been divorced for years and I lived with dad and that I was trying to get on good terms with mom and my younger sisters. I had a slightly edgy-er mentality up til i started eating breakfast and had to stop and think my life over.
also this morning I woke up thinking “I need to help grandma fix the car so we can drive thru the water to escape the zombies.”
I once woke up convinced I had slept through my final and missed my train home
I jumped out bed, threw clothes on and was halfway through packing my backpack before I realised that a) it was a Sunday 2) the semester was over and c) there is literally no train from Connecticut to Texas
I was still asleep but swore I’d woken up and checked my bank balance on my phone. The number was significantly lower than it should be and I checked the purchase history, which showed like $600 had been spent on like drag queen wigs and another $200 on colored contacts so I freaked out. I forced myself awake and checked my phone to assure that no, a drag queen did not steal my identity for outfit supplies.
Another time I took a nap in college, dreamed I woke up, did homework, went to dinner, etc. I didn’t notice it was a dream til I was taking my makeup off and tiny beetles started swarming out of my eye. I woke up and realized I’d been asleep for twenty minutes and that five hours didn’t happen. I haven’t taken naps much since then.
The least fun time was waking very suddenly in my pitch dark room, sitting up and looking around, trying to lay back down, and I missed the bed so I fell and my face hit the floor. Five feet down. (Faces bleed a lot so now I have a scar in my eyebrow, whoops)
One time on a road trip the hotel my family was staying at had the fire alarm go off. My immediate response to the alarm was to stand up and tell every one “I’ve got this”, then promptly crawl under the table and unplug the lamp. I was 300% sure that the lamp had caused the noise and that unplugging it would fix everything. When that didn’t work I went for the tv chord… My mom had to pull me out from under a desk so we could evacuate the building.
honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp
And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him
my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that
I once dreamed that a giant meteor was headed for earth, and the government had set up loudspeakers throughout the cities so Obama could give a final address – I’ll never forget how strangely comforting it was when he said “there are places we’ve never been before. Some of us have never been to the Alps, some of us have never been to Marrakesh. The next life is simply another place we’ve never been before, and we’re all going to go explore it together.”
I had a dream my family housed the Obamas for a weekend and one morning Obama made us oatmeal for breakfast and, looking at my disappointed face because I don’t like oatmeal, he said “regardless of what we taste, if we eat together, we are happy.”
Once I dreamt that Michelle Obama was running a campaign to give homes to all the feral pigeons and her husband came to my house and gave me a pamphlet that just had a picture of a pigeon on it and he looked me in the eyes and said “who would you be without them?”
Had a dream where I was sitting in a dark office and reality felt really altered and strange and there was just a fishtank illuminating the room and then this fuckin fish looked at me and grinned with human teeth and in this super deep voice said “you’ve been here awhile, better wake up before you forget how to” and I fuckin woke up in a cold sweat
Last night I dreamt that Channing Tatum nervously presented me with a dress he’d knitted for me. He clenched his (big, work-roughened) hands in anxious fists while I unfolded it.
“You don’t have to wear it,” he said, before I could say anything.
The dress was perfect. It was beautiful. It could turn into a skirt.
“You like it?” Channing Tatum said, smiling crookedly.
Steel Phoenix Studios 