“One of Pagourtzis’ classmates who died in the attack, Shana Fisher, “had 4 months of problems from this boy,” her mother, Sadie Rodriguez, wrote in a private message to the Los Angeles Times on Facebook. “He kept making advances on her and she repeatedly told him no.”
Pagourtzis continued to get more aggressive, and she finally stood up to him and embarrassed him in class, Rodriguez said. “A week later he opens fire on everyone he didn’t like,” she wrote. “Shana being the first one.”“
She wasn’t his ex-girlfriend. She was a girl he stalked and harassed after she turned him down. There’s a really, really big difference between the two
So these Christian anti-feminist protestors showed up at my school and were just yelling misogynist things at everyone, when this guy suddenly walks up in front of them mid-rant and just starts…. singing opera
Read this & be mindful of those partaking in Ramadan.
I would rather everyone read and shared this instead of “remember to tag your food/nsfw/etc!” post that’s going around every year. (None of these things actually break your fast and if you’re fasting and worried about seeing them, you shouldn’t be on tumblr).
Being considerate and kind goes a long way, so I’d appreciate if this post went around instead.
Like, the Flint water crisis, right? I just read an estimate that it would take $55 million to bring clean water back to Flint. That sounds like a lot of money until you consider that’s less than a tenth of a billion dollars. Jeff Bezos is worth $118 billion. For less than .05% of his net worth, Jeff Bezos could bring water back to an entire town. At the most money I have ever had in my bank account, .05% of it could buy me like a burger. And not even a particularly nice one.
And let’s say, yeah, the ultra-rich are soulless monsters devoid of empathy or altruism. For .05% of his net wealth, Jeff Bezos could completely turn his public image around. Instead of being the asshole who exploits his workers, suddenly he’s the unlikely hero who saved an entire town.
Like
How do you have the power to become a hero at practically no personal cost and just
i swear to god, men raising their voice is the most terrifying thing in the whole world. they dont understand, like its an immediate panic response, game over
I actually had no idea women found this so scary
my downstairs neighbors fight on a regular basis, and every time he starts yelling i’m a little afraid he’s going to kill her. i have no reason to think this except that he is a man and he is angry
My math teacher has a loud voice and a temper and he scares the living shit out of me almost everyday. He’s made me and other kids cry more than once and he and his teacher buddies make a joke out of terrifying students.
this was women in general? i knew my gf didn’t like it but I was unaware if this affected most women
Yes, it does
As a woman, I had no idea it effected other women like this. I was too afraid to even talk about it. I thought I was weak. Thanks for bringing attention to this.
My dad thinks it’s funny that I used to cry when he raised his voice. I freak out whenever some one does. Once my director did, and I started crying I couldn’t stop. I’m glad to see I’m not alone…
This is so important– seeing how common this is– and I also want you all to know that this is not normal. It isn’t something instinctively ingrained into women, to be afraid of men. There is no natural state of men being a threat that women constantly have to be afraid of. This is cultural. So many women and girls here have a mutual understanding of this feeling, and I think it really shows an unsettling truth about our society, particularly about how men are raised to act and how so many women have this defensive reaction gradually develop. It’s so important that these people have their voices heard, because it teaches us about problems that we just can’t deny the existence of any longer.
I’m glad I’m not the only one
My fellow men, pay attention. I didn’t realize how scary this could be until one of my exes explained it to me, and it’s heartbreaking.
Also, when we move too much during an argument, or lean forward, it’s scary, and I never knew. I was even a little insulted at first, because surely she didn’t think I would hurt her. But see, that doesn’t matter. It wasn’t a sign that she mistrusted me specifically; it’s a conditioned response. (Although if you keep doing it once you realize it scares her, she SHOULDN’T trust you.)
Not every woman has been physically harmed by a man she trusted, but every woman KNOWS a woman who has.
I used to be horrible about this, because I didn’t realize how intimidating it was. I didn’t understand why the woman I was with clammed up or tried to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear, and I only got angrier, and acted even more like an asshole. It was wrong. It was abusive. It didn’t matter if I INTENDED it that way; it was still emotionally abusive. And it was inexcusable.
I get that when passions are high, and when you’re frustrated, it’s a natural tendency to let your voice get louder, to shout and gesture and lean forward. But you can train yourself to do better. You can train yourself to keep more of an even tone, to refrain from large and fast gestures, to not lean into her personal space. I did. I’m not perfect at it yet, but goddamn it, I WILL be.
Don’t tell me it’s too hard, that you just can’t do it, or that you “shouldn’t have to.” I’m 53 years old and just now getting the hang of it, and if this old dog can learn something new, so can you.
Note to guys: It really, REALLY doesn’t matter if you’re thinking, “but I would never…”
History is littered with the bodies of women who believed a man “would never.” This includes women killed by men who honestly, deeply, truly believed they “would never”… right up until she said that one thing or moved in just that way and he just got so mad, just that once, and pushed her or punched her or slashed her or shot her… just once, y’know, to shut her up, or because she was flinching and didn’t she know that HE’S NOT LIKE THAT and I’LL TEACH HER TO BE AFRAID OF ME…
We are trained, from infancy, that Men With Loud Voices are a source of pain from which we cannot escape, and attempts to escape may result in more pain. And as soon as we’re old enough to comprehend a world broader than our immediate circle, a world that extends into the past and will run into the future, we realize that there is no way, no way at all, to tell which men “would never” and which men “would never… except if.”
We live or die on that “if.” And any man who doesn’t like facing that hyper-vigilance can work on fixing OTHER MEN, not women’s fear.
The reaction shouldn’t be “not all men are like that;” it should be “no woman should have to live in fear.”
It’s telling that so many people will hear a story of long-term abuse and say, “why did she stay with him?” and not “why did he treat her like that?”
This made me cry.
Don’t skip over this.
OK heres my story: I never had abusive parents or anything, but my parents are very strict and we’re hispanic, so discipline was majorly based off a kid fearing their parents in our household. It’s a cultural thing and though I really don’t agree with it, it wasn’t necessarily abusive or anything. But STILL every time my dad yelled I was petrified. Even as a really little kid, because I’d seen guys being aggressive on the playground. I knew that a guy could beat a girl up and they’d just tell her to ‘man up’ or some shit. It was always set in my brain, “guys are stronger. guys are aggressive. guys can hurt you”. And now every time a man or a dude around my age does whole yelling-and-aggressive-body-language thing, I cry. Like… a lot. I get really bad panic attacks about it. And that was horrifying as a young girl. I mean it got to the point where I’d start crying if I even expected that my dad would start yelling soon. It got to the point where I was actually scared of him. And he’s not even a bad father! He’s a good dad and a good person, and I know that he loves me and would never ever do something that’d hurt me. I always trusted that with the utmost confidence, but it’s like we’re groomed to be scared of guys even as children. So this doesn’t only go for boyfriends. This goes for any guy with any girl. If you’re a dad, if you’re a brother, if you’re a friend, if you’re a boyfriend, just don’t. And if you’re the kind of person who will look at this information and know that it’s correct and you still keep doing that – you’re exactly the kind of guys that we’re afraid of.
Steel Phoenix Studios 