THIS. I saw a post the other day that literally said if you do it to a fictional character, you’ll do it in real life.
No. Just NO.
I’m so glad someone put it into words.
Lin-Manuel Miranda is a legend, and he’s absolutely right.
And I really feel like there are parts of fandom that don’t get or don’t believe this, and I think that’s troubling. I’ve seen arguments that people shouldn’t have dark fantasies, or that bad impulses in themselves make a bad person. I’ve seen so much shaming over thoughts.
And if you get to a point where it’s bad to have dark thoughts and it’s bad to wonder what something would be like and it’s bad to put yourself in the shoes of anyone who isn’t “pure”, if fiction is no longer a realm where you can confront and explore, but an ongoing test of moral purity… well, maybe not everyone’s brain works like mine, but I feel like that takes away something incredibly important to being human.
I have a lot of guilt and shame about my participation in fandom. I tell myself that I ought to have outgrown this kind of external obsession by my age. I tell myself that it’s not healthy to spend so much time in imaginary worlds. I tell myself that I should be more responsible in how I use my time, how I spend my money, where I put my energy. I look in the mirror and admit that I am using imaginary people and imaginary places and my attachment to them to avoid the problems of real life.
But here’s the thing: the world is a fucking dumpster fire. Every hour I spend writing Arthur and Eames smut is an hour in which I am not paralyzed with panic over the sexual abuses inflicted by real-world men. Every minute I spend re-reading and deconstructing the way Ngozi builds queerness in Check, Please! is one I don’t spend so angry I could throw up over the threats to queer people in the real world. Every night I spend appreciating the incredible OCs of color writers create in the fanfic I like to read is one I don’t spend in despair over this administration’s institutionalized and accepted racism. The longer I consider the potential of the Avengers to save the world from the dark forces of Hydra, the less time I have to lay awake and worry about the way my country’s president is destroying all of our international relationships.
I couldn’t live with myself right now if I didn’t spend a large chunk of my time and energy and money on the real-world fight. Things are simply too bad–I cannot stand by and watch without at least trying to do something. But if that was all I focused on, I would end up hurting myself. (Believe me, I know this, because in the final few months before the 2016 election and the first half of 2017, it WAS all I focused on.) I would end up so anxious and depressed that I would need far heavier duty coping mechanisms (not to mention drugs) than the ones I use now. Maybe there are people who can sustain a full-time commitment to changing the world, without needing to hide from it a bunch of the time, but I’m not one of them. So it’s better, I think, to accept that one of the things my participation in fandom gives me is an outlet, a way to focus completely on something that, in the end, I KNOW will be OK. Doing it all the time would be unhealthy, and my real-world relationships would suffer, but doing it a lot, right now, when things are so bad? It’s part of what keeps me sane.
Everyone has their thing. For some people it’s sports, or bird watching, or collecting things, or whatever. People need hobbies and interests to help them wind down from all the stress and real life crap. For us it just happens to be fandom. But I think fandom has such a negative stereotype and negative connotation that it ends up having an effect on us. We feel stupid or guilty for something that should be completely normal. It only becomes a problem if it’s keeping you from your real world responsibilities.
And those negative stereotypes and negative connotations have a lot to do with the fact that fandoms are women dominated spaces. Men tend to engage with media they admire by learning everything about the original, where woman tend to engage by creating fan content. My dad has a huge Batman stuff colection and that’s something he can joke about with his friends. He’s never made to feel any lesser for that, and people see that as something cool about him and give him batman related gifts all the time to help out. I have male friends who love Game of Thrones and know all the minor details and spend hours of their life speculating about it. But they never experience this shame and it’s socially acceptable for them to talk to people about their hobbies. But if I tell people about my inception blog or fanfiction they low key pity me and it has a lot to do with fandom being women dominated spaces and us internalizing the idea that anything mostly enjoyed by women is embarassing and wrong. I refuse to do that.
According to people who were able to reach me anonymously before I closed the anon asks (I do have a self-preservation instinct) I absolutely shouldn’t be near fandom AT MY AGE!!!!!
What should I do? Knitting and “taking my grandchildren to the park”. Well I don’t enjoy taking any children (never wanted to have my own, hence no handy grandchildren to drag around) to the park and/or knitting nearly as much as I do enjoy Inception and YOI, you ageist fucks. I’m not ashamed of it in the slightest, except yes, I should better control the time I spend online in general. Other than that – do what you love ladies, anyone who would “low-key pity you” can have a good hard look at themselves and their own interests (beer? watching porn? online shopping for designer handbags? online celebrities hating? bashing other moms? going to white power rallies?) and shut the fuck up.
my mom is 61 and her bf is a huge nerd and he’s teaching her to play magic the gathering and he had her watch avatar the last airbender with him and his ringtone is terra’s theme from final fantasy 6 and he paints pictures of sephiroth. my mom’s bf is nerdier than i’ll ever be.
and she does all these pinterest crafts and now she makes little bejeweled vials of healing potions for him and his buddies. my little geek heart can’t handle all this.
edit: just picture a 60-something woman with a VERY thick minnesotan accent saying “mike is having me watch the naruto”
just fyi my mom is now 62 and they finished watching “the naruto”
if i had told my 13-year-old self that this is what my mom’s hallway would look like when i was 30 i wouldn’t have believed me
believe it
Please share to support older fans in fandom ♥️
I once was at a con and was walking back to my hotel room when I happened to spy a bunch of people just then filling into their room and they were all very old- like easily in their 60’s or 70’s- and every single one of them was in unmistakeable Bleach cosplay. I told everyone else in my room about it and they were all “ew, that’s really weird!” which was really disheartening for me because I honestly thought it was wholesome and I honestly hope me and all of my elderly buddies still go in full cosplay to cons when I’m that age.
Steve Rogers: Diligent. Politically, scientifically, anatomically, emotionally correct. Posts on time. Sticks to the schedule and their own well-mapped-out-and-classic-plot. Actually enjoys constructive criticism because it will help them improve but has been known to reply with, “Well, actually...” Always trying to help. Annoying but has good intentions.
Bucky Barnes: A writing machine in Winter Mission Mode when a plot idea takes over their minds. In between missions they are lost and shopping for plums in a Romanian farmer’s market. Has moments where they can’t remember how to write themselves out of writostasis. Easily triggered by words. Eternal Internal Screaming. Made a grave mistake letting Steve Rogers beta their stories. Might be a mess. Might need rehab.
Tony Stark: Intelligent and knows it. Clearly educated, knows synonyms and metaphors without needing to look them up. Writes elaborate, scientifically correct stories. Reads up on thermonuclear physics just for fun research. Has an explanation for literally everything. Has a literary device for every plot hole. Obnoxious but when you need to read something reliably good, they deliver. Exhausted by constantly trying to prove and improve themselves. Sometimes forgets how to human. Wants to give advice that nobody asked for. Hard to like until you get to know them. Is a little lonely maybe.
Peter Parker: New kid on the scene. Wants to be liked. Writes A LOT. Posts A LOT. Wants A LOT of comments. Uses a lot of =))))))))) in the writer notes. Latches onto senior writers and wants to be in a clique. Often shoot their loads prematurely. Frequently gets some very good plot ideas but currently lacking the perfect execution. Gets stuck in their own web of plot holes.
Loki: Professional shit-stirrer of the fandom. You’re never sure if they’re your friend or not. Spends more time being contrary than actually writing. Sometimes leaves stories with cliffhangers that never reach a conclusion. Deliberately writes NOTPs just for fun. Needs constant validation from an audience. Is actually quite talented if they bothered to focus their energy on writing and not bickering. Just wants to be liked (on the down low.)
Wanda Maximoff: Might be a hack. Might be a genius. Has tapped into The Power of Knowledge but doesn’t actually know how to harness it into a coherent story. Flashes of brilliance followed swiftly but flashes of despair and self-loathing. Powerful but poor discipline. Likely to destroy and delete their stories on a whim because some words don’t look right or their aim was slightly off that day. Notorious for abandoning ideas and leaving a trail of incomplete stories in their wake.
Thanos: Trigger Warning-Character Death. A total sadist. The writers you get a little worried about.
Peter Quill: Hilarious. Jokes every two sentences. Pop culture references and always puts soundtrack links in their author notes. A gift for natural dialogue and conversations. Doesn’t get taken seriously because of the lack of drama in their stories but secretly writing humour in order to deal with underlying traumas of their past. One day will write a heartbreaking story and play it off as a joke.
Wade Wilson: PWP Crack writers. R-rated. Anatomically graphic. Sometimes the realism is a touch too real. 50% hilarious. 50% makes-you-uncomfortable. Might have emotional range and depth but often chooses not to show it. Probably mentions pizza, beer and mexican food in their stories. A Good Bro but needs a Mute-Button and thesaurus sometimes.
Natasha Romanoff: Better than you and you both know it. Gives off an air of superiority. Super clique-y but they also keep themselves at a distance. Good at literally every genre and writing style. Leaves no plot holes behind, ever. All stories are clean headshots with neat conclusions. Their plot twists have plot twists. Either they’ve done extensive research or they’ve actually been an assassin. The type of author you’re intimidated by and too scared to talk to.
Thor: Never Say Die Writers. Hammers out story after story. Will write themselves to God Status, no matter what it takes. Will shed blood, sweat, tears, an eye, a sibling…to achieve their goals. Honourable and respects other writers. They’ve got hustle and you can’t help but like them.
T’Challa: Feels heavily burdened by the Fandom Crown after writing one of the most badass Iconic stories of the century. Fucks off to Wakanda so you never hear from them again. It would take a Fandom Apocalypse to get them to come back. Constructs sentences so advanced that it makes you want to retire from your own writing. Infuriatingly cool. Is benevolent but doesn’t need hits and comments for validation. Gets them anyway, without even trying.
Stephen Strange: A literal wizard at world building. Known for their elaborate plots and multi-tiered-multi-character-multi-chapter stories. Cradle-To-The-Grave-type writers. Doesn’t believe in One-Shots. One-Shots are for the weak. Way too indulgent with language and minute details. Probably knows Latin. Often competes with Tony Stark writers for title of “Most Obnoxiously Complex Story Ever”. Frequently exhausting. Takes writing a little too seriously. Annoying but worth it.
Bruce Banner: Dramatic. The definition of “well that escalated quickly”. Will start off writing an endearingly small and clever story but all hell breaks loose by chapter three. Suddenly there is a lot of shouting and misunderstandings and chapters that read like glorified keyboard smashes. Everyone suffers. You don’t know what happened. Nobody knows what happened. Not even the writer. PTSD.
Clint Barton: 90% Sarcasm. 10% Plot. The master of the One-Shot because that’s all they need. Doesn’t believe in time wasting, indulgent flowery language and poetic confessions. Writes to get it out of their system so they can go back to their actual real lives. Secretly eye-rolls at Stephen Strange writers but also awed by them. Doesn’t know what a beta is.
Groot: The Holy Grail Of All Writers. Straight up literature. Can condense an entire paragraph into three words. Will write devastation and break your heart within the first five lines. Understands language in a way that most mere mortals can’t hope to achieve in one lifetime. The writer you bookmark and remember. Fandom famous. Universally loved.
Tag yourself.
I’m Bucky/Peter P/Wanda/Clint but I want to be Thor.
Lol! I have to admit that I saw this last night and after reading them I did think that Steve Rogers fit pretty well. Thanks for the validation @likingthistoomuch 😜 😘
I am so Clint Barton/Wanda Maximoff. I’d like to be Thor but hey…*sips tea*
Fanfiction on ao3: Free, isn’t affaid TO JUST USE THE WORD ‘COCK’ FFS
“His genitals, his privates, his hot length, his trobing rod, his magic meat stick-”
Me, in tears: Just say cock
published erotica: the parts that aren’t purple prose about vanilla sex are occupied by dithering and made up problems
fanfiction on ao3: the parts that aren’t sharp, clear prose about scorching kinky sex are occupied by tightly plotted suspense and slam-bang action
published erotica: not interested in the 99% of the market that’s heterosexual? that’s fine, we also have tender white middle class lesbians and slutty white middle class gay men!
fanfiction on ao3: one trans partner? both partners trans? genderswaps? how about a loving long-term threesome that does heist capers? we’ve got non-gendered angels, hermaphroditic aliens – some of whom lay eggs, if you’re into that – oh, and have i mentioned the robots –
published erotica: there, i put in a vampire, i’m such a genre rebel
fanfiction on ao3: i sent the avengers to hogwarts with the winchester brothers, i fear nothing on earth or heaven and only one thing in hell which is that my laptop will overheat in the fires of abaddon so i’ll have to write the sequel longhand
I found a little book of star trek trivia at my favorite used book store and the book was published in the 80s and I’m flipping through it and it’s like “dedicated Fans taping episodes of star trek ensure that future generations will be able to enjoy the series” which is such a weird sort of technology whiplash like we went from VHS tapes being THE way to consume media on demand and I’m over here in 2018 watching this show on my smartphone on Netflix and?? When the show came out VHS wasn’t even a wildly avaliable thing??? Sometimes little things give me hope, like a tiny book reminding me how much humanity has accomplished in 50 years.
Oh my goodness, there was no such thing as media on demand when TOS aired! We could not have imagined such a thing.
Around 1970-71 a group of original fans in the LA area did what we could to make a record of what happened in each episode, because it could easily be a year or more before our local station might run any given episode again. Whenever a rerun was shown, we worked as a team, taking Polaroid photos of the TV screen at each scene change and writing a quick description of what happens in the scene. These we glued onto poster boards, one for each episode, building up the collection over a couple of years (the rate at which we were able to see the episodes in reruns). The poster boards hung in a couple of our garages and were available for any fan to view with an appointment.
We would have been so jealous of fans now, had we known the day would come when we could see episodes any time we wanted. I still find it somewhat miraculous!
Fanfiction is just the best isn’t it? You can go read a 5k little dribble about your otp having a morning cuddle with a side of pancakes, and then go to a 100k full fucking space epic au that someone just wrote cause they wanted to. We have heartwretching fics, coffee shop au’s, westerns, modern fantasies, arranged marriages, medieval stories, I’m so grateful to fanfic writers for giving us stories (some better than published books) about our favorite characters to read on the daily for free.
Steel Phoenix Studios 