note to self: just because someone did the thing you were thinking about doing, and did it way better than you could ever hope to do, doesn’t mean it would be stupid or pointless to go ahead and try to still do the thing anyway.
Also, when it comes to creative things? There really is no “better”.
Sure, someone might be more technically accomplished than you – you might not be able to colour as nicely or craft a sentence that rings as poetically – but art is only really secondarily about that. It’s firstmost about what you, uniquely, have to express, and how the precise way you express it might be what others need to relate to it – even if it’s less flashy, less “beautiful”, and gets fewer notes.
I promise you this: there are obscure fanfics with only a handful of notes that are the read-and-re-read favourites of someone too anxious to comment. There are drawings done by 14-year-olds in poorly-blended markers that are someone’s favourite because they spoke to something that nothing else did. There are covers of songs where your voice cracks and you cringe every time you hear it but someone thinks the way it cracked just at that moment added beauty to the song. There are angsty three-line poems you wrote at 4am that someone once called “pretentious emo trash” that are loved by someone else going through the same thing as you.
And I guarantee you, there is something unique about your art. Even if you’re “saying something someone else has said”. Even if you’re the thousandth person to take on the subject. Even if you feel like you’re not at all unique. You’re bound to express something, however subtle, that didn’t exist until then.
Art is about connection. And the more you create, the more chance you have of finding other people who experience the world the way you do.
“But the one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.“ via @neil-gaiman
The “two cakes” theory of content production.
It was only yesterday that I was lamenting thing I no longer felt allowed to do because someone had done similar.
I ought to read this post daily. Maybe twice daily.
the reason why fake dating fics are so enjoyable is because they are a combination of slow burn and established relationship fics. the reader is able to picture what a relationship between the 2 characters is like, but there is still an element of suspense and a chance to develop this relationship because they are not actually dating. in this essay i will
I miiiiight have been making Very Wounded Screechy noises around 47
seconds in.
Then both of us did the equivalent of turning to each other and going
“Heeeeey.”
So imagine, if you will, a galaxy where Sidious decides that the
bio-organic chips are all well and good for Jedi genocide, but it’s
too fallible. Clones require finding a proper progenitor, and so much time. Besides, he has better
uses for the Kaminoans.
So instead, Obi-Wan ‘discovers’
a different planet, and a different conspiracy.
Welcome to the Droid Wars.
The Jedi have brand new, bleeding
edge robots to help them fight. Humanoid, they don’t feel pain,
they have a learning curve that takes one’s breath away, and they
are 110% guaranteed utterly
obedient.
(They have Orders hardcoded
deep into their circuits, and on some level they will always respond
to their master. Sidious loves it.)
NONE of the Jedi consider them ‘people’ (at first), except maybe
Anakin. But then slowly, slowly, as the war goes on, and the droids
are active for hours and days and learn and develop personalities.
The droid-troopers are in fact much, much better at learning than
even their creators thought. In fact, their learning algorithms get
away from original parameters. They’re learning far more than was
expected, so free will eventually kicks in. They behave illogically.
Unit DT-7567 sometimes skimps on his recharge cycle to read stuff, to
learn useless intel. DC-2224 calibrates
his forearm and hand so that it automatically engages specialized
electromagnet attuned to Kenobi’s lightsaber (for
when the General invariably drops it. Again).
(He
also contemplates putting a locator-chip in his General’s cloak,
but he’d probably just end up losing the chip AND the cloak. So
far, attempts to stealthily put trackers on the General’s boots and
person have failed. Boil and Waxer are determined to succeed at some
point.)
That’s another thing. Names. Designs. Customization. Many of the
Jedi don’t see the droid-troopers as more than machines, but it’s
hard to deny that they’re all changing.
Plo sees his lead droid, 3636, mourn over a lost ‘brother.’
Rex saves Anakin and/or Ashoka at the cost of most of his chassis,
and Anakin ends up carrying the scrap that’s left of Rex
back to base. Because fuck this noise, he’s not leaving Rex behind.
The second battle of Geonosis: Waxer and Boil save Kenobi’s life by
running out into enemy fire to get him out of the crashed ship, the
only survivor…the only organic.
The first time Skywalker has to do maintenance on his arm, all the
troops in range swing by to STARE. Kix offers to help, but it turns
out that Kix is better working on organics. But there’s still a lot
of staring and uncanny valley for the poor soldiers: Their Jedi is
part droid.
(Perhaps Rex doesn’t realize he has a crush on Obi-Wan Kenobi for
the longest time, because he was never programmed for that, and so he
doesn’t know how to recognize it. Then his reading uncovers some
strange parallels, and now he REALLY doesn’t know what to do.)
So the Jedi find themselves in the unenviable position of having to
become as cold and unfeeling as the droids around them (but not a one
of those troopers are actually like that). The even less human contact than in The Temple, but endless bloodshed and destruction is a constant wear upon the Jedi. The public’s opinion of
them gets even lower – remote, distant. Subhuman. Just droids, even
the Jedi.
They catch themselves doing it, and that leads to even more internal
conflict. Just imagine Obi-Wan and Cody poring over maps and
discussing strategy, during the mission where Anakin diverts himself
to go rescue R2. And Obi-Wan…..DOES he go ‘it’s just a droid’?
Does he stop himself? Does he SAY it and then feel immediately
guilty for it?
Obi-Wan can’t sense Cody in the Force the way he can a biological,
but he realizes that Cody’s right there, and half-turns to
go ‘not you, I didn’t mean you were just-’ but then. Stops
himself because. Isn’t Cody ‘just’ a droid? Like R2?
All of him is going ‘no!’ but….he’s so CONFLICTED. (And does
R2 count as ‘just a droid’?) Cody doesn’t even ever say
anything, but man Obi-Wan feels guilty for like. EVER.
Palpatine’s plans would have come to fruition, but between the
learning curve and how some troopers go digging into their own code
because they’re BORED (I’m not saying Echo, but I am totally
saying Echo) – it doesn’t work. Oh, some droid-troopers and their
Jedi have no connection whatsoever, and perhaps the order works for
them, but the majority of army?
They survive. But in foiling Sidious, they gain a much bigger mess.
If clones would have been a Legal Nightmare, the situation when
they’re droids is….rather different and rather worse. How
do you convince a corrupt Senate to give the troops their freedom
when droids aren’t even recognized as ‘people’? For every Jedi
that still doesn’t think of the troops as ‘people’, there’s
another handful that do support them. Yet what good is support from
beings that are considered no more than a half-step above droids
themselves?
A few thoughts for fodder that never fit in anywhere:
If Echo is the one who discovers Order 66/the chips, then does that
mean he and Fives metaphorically swap places in the Citadel?
I have a mental image of a somehow blushy Droid!Rex which is both
adorable and confusing to me. Dogmatix figures him being fidgety,
maybe ducking his head a bit, eye-lights flickering more than usual,
and I am slain.
As an alternative, if the Empire does come around, perhaps Luke and
Leia are sent to some remote storage facility (Maybe Old Ben survives
the Death Star. Maybe his Force ghost leads them there). The twins
are directed towards an old scanner. Anakin Skywalker’s genetic code – and that of his children –
can still activate the decommissioned droid-troopers of the old GAR.
The Rebellion now has an army backing them up.
Plunnie for adoption, just please let us know if you write it because
we’d love to read it!
*adds fuel to plot fire* In the old extended EU canon, there are human replica droids.
When there’s a set of specific and intricate detail work and you just know the author is either drawing from life experience and knowledge, or that they spent a long time researching to get it just right.
A reframing of a well known metaphor or simile that makes you think of it in a new way.
An original metaphor or simile that you pause and admire for a while because it’s such a sweet turn of phrase.
Dialogue that you can hear perfectly because the phrasing is so on point.
The obvious love and care the author has for the character dynamics, plot and/or setting that shines through in every word, sentence and paragraph.
“What do I do?” Steve appealed into the phone. “I’m freaking out.”
There was silence on the other end of the line. It lasted so long that Steve pulled the receiver away from his ear and frowned at it. Pay phones were old. Maybe this one wasn’t working despite the obvious dial tone when he picked up.
“Ok,” a stranger’s voice said over the phone. “First acknowledge the fact that you dialed the wrong number, but be quick about it because my cab is a few blocks away from my own plans and I’m about to drop some truth bombs on you.”
Personally, I don’t really see anything wrong with giving Luke to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. What else was Obi-Wan gonna do? (He pretty much raised Anakin and look how that turned out, he’s not gonna risk Round 2.) (He could have given both kiddos to Bail and Breha Organa, actually. Luke and Leia Organa is a cool as heck AU.)
I like Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. As much as people like to say Luke really is Padme’s son, he didn’t get those morals from her. (Keeping in mind I have read no comics or novelizations, and not seen the Clone Wars TV show) It’s pretty clear that Luke’s iron spine and goodness and refusal to abandon his friends come from his upbringing. Owen and Beru Lars are kinda the Ma and Pa Kent of the Star Wars universe.
And they are Luke’s family. Owen is Shmi’s stepson. Owen and Beru probably knew Anakin’s mother for years. It’s a neat circle, and in some ways it has the feelings of an apology, for Obi-Wan to bring Luke back to his family on Tatooine in the same way that Qui-Gon took Anakin. Obi-Wan can’t undo what’s been done, and he can’t start over, but he can give Luke what the Jedi denied Anakin: a loving family and normal upbringing.
Tatooine is Darth Vader’s home planet? Yeah, sure, but did Anakin ever go back to Tatooine? (Probably once or twice, I’m guessing, in the comics at least.) Darth Vader hates that place. Bad memories. Damn sand would fuck up his suit. He’d burn it all down and then the Hutts are gonna be pissed. And how many people actually know that Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker? Like, about five? (Bail, Obi-Wan, Yoda, R2-D2, and Ahsoka?) Dude is not exactly getting invites to school reunions and the weddings of childhood friends, is all I’m saying.
Even if Darth Vader ever went back to Tatooine, Tatooine is a big place. The Lars Farm is in the middle of nowhere and Obi-Wan is hanging out left of the funky rock five miles past nowhere. Anakin met his stepbrother once in the entire film trilogy and idk if they even exchanged words, much less space e-mail addresses. I kind of doubt that Uncle Owen and Darth Vader are sending each other Life Day e-cards. (That’s really funny, actually.)
Anyway, the point of this rant is that I want you to imagine new parents Owen and Beru Lars caring for toddler Luke, it’s just after Life Day, and someone rings the doorbell. Owen Lars opens up to Darth Vader holding a fruit basket, because he didn’t know what else to do for Life Day and spontaneously decided to visit distant family rather than mope in his Evil Castle again.
(Everything Obi-Wan hoped would never happen, just… happening.)
Owen, after introductions, panicking, “Uh… the suit is… new.”
He has to invite Vader in, because it’s Life Day and how exactly do you tell Darth Vader to fuck off? Then Owen and Beru have a hushed argument in the kitchen while Darth Vader is sitting awkwardly in their living room with a drink that he can’t actually drink but took to be polite. When they come out, they introduce Luke as Luke Whitesun, Beru’s late brother’s kid, which they guess makes Luke… Darth Vader’s… nephew. (They can’t hide him, Vader’s already seen this 2-3 yr old Luke and the house is COVERED in baby and kid stuff.)
And Darth Vader just… fucking falls for it.
And the Lars family has to spend the holidays with Uncle Darth Vader who is super keen to have a step-nephew-in-law. Beru is showing off her cross-stitching to Darth fucking Vader as Luke plays at their feet. Owen is in the kitchen sending a desperate space text to Obi-Wan, who basically has a heart attack on the spot when Owen sends a shitty stealth-pic of Darth Vader on their couch.
Bonus points if the Lars’ don’t even move after this, because Vader left without issue and Uncle Owen afterwards was like, “It turned out fine. I don’t want to move, that’s too much hassle.” So, every major holiday, Luke gets a visit from his Uncle Darth Vader, which works out fine so long as they instigate a “Don’t Talk About Politics” rule when Luke starts getting excited about Rebellions and starts bad-mouthing the Empire (Vader making small talk at a Star Destroyer water cooler to his terrified staff: “Ugh, I’m going to have to debate my liberal 13-yr-old nephew at the dinner table again.”), and Vader even helps with the dishes and stuff, and every time Obi-Wan ages an extra year from stress.
Guys, please, the way this continues is that the general events of the Star Wars universe continue as normal (Leia, having literally just left a space battle: “Darth Vader, the AUDACITY of attacking an innocent diplomatic vessel!”) UNTIL the stormtroopers show up at the Lars Farm. (Luke is desperately chasing down the droids he lost and properly meeting Obi-Wan Kenobi.)
At first, it’s business as usual, y’know? Stormtroopers break down the door and interrogate the occupants and start prepping to burn the place down, and the leader is in the middle of shouting, “TELL US WHERE THE DROIDS A-” when he pauses and just… stares… at the mantlepiece.
Because on the Lars family mantlepiece and walls are, like, a hundred family photos and roughly half of them have Darth Vader in them. There’s Darth Vader wearing a Life Day party hat at a dinner table. There’s Darth Vader holding a toddler and playing with model ships. There’s Darth Vader and a pimply thirteen year old in the stands at the Boonta Eve Classic. There is a cross-stitched pillow on the couch that says OUR FAMILY on it, consisting of a man, a woman, a boy, and Darth fucking Vader.
Stormtrooper Grunt #1: “What… what… what the fuck.”
Aunt Beru, who has HAD it with these guys wrecking her house, already angrily jabbing at their space phone: “I am calling Mr. Vader RIGHT NOW about this.”
Darth Vader, excusing himself from the bridge of his Star Destroyer to take a call from his stepsister-in-law: “Beru. This isn’t a good time-”
Beru: “Well, MAKE TIME, because your stormtroopers broke down our door and tracked SAND all over my nice clean floors and they won’t stop yelling about the droids we just bought! You better have a good explanation for this!”
Darth Vader does not, actually, have a good explanation for this. The stormtroopers can feel his wrath from across the galaxy. It’s a work thing and he’s very sorry and he’ll make the stormtroopers fix their door, but he does really need those droids and could they hand them over, please? He’ll have the Empire compensate them. Yes, he’ll pay them back and send new droids. Yes, kicking doors down is very rude, Beru, you’re absolutely right.
So Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru promise to pick up Luke and the droids, and hop in the spare Landspeeder to go looking for them. Owen is Not Happy to find that Obi-Wan’s given Luke a lightsaber, and Aunt Beru is Not Happy to find out that the Empire’s made some superweapon. Of course they have to get these plans to the Rebellion! Yes, she promised Vader, but he should have told her it was for such a terrible thing! Yes, Owen, they’re all going to Alderaan.
So the Lars family runs away to Mos Eisley and get on the Millennium Falcon to Alderaan, while the stormtroopers are standing around like, “Are they… coming… back???” And Han Solo does not know what the hell is going on or what to do about the Weird Old Wizard talking about “universe-penetrating magic”, or the Grumpy Farmer who keeps trying to fix his “piece of junk” ship that excuse you does not need fixing, or the Sunny Farm Boy waving a light sword around, or the kindly old woman who is currently cross-stitching in his back seat and gossiping with Chewie like he’s not even there.
Later, after the Death Star’s been destroyed, Owen and Beru Lars are now a part of the Rebellion with Luke. Beru sends Darth Vader a piece of fabric in the Space Mail, and it’s the little cross-stitched Vader from her OUR FAMILY pillow who’s been cut out because she’s mad at him. (Except her note says DISAPPOINTED and that’s worse.) Darth Vader is more upset about this than the Emperor being mad at him for the destruction of the Death Star.
This is such a wild ride and I want more.
Please, kind writer, may I have some more?
See, the thing about Uncle Darth Vader is that the Lars family lives in the middle of nowhere Tatooine. Luke has to get his news off his friends, who have to get their news from shitty Space Radio, and the Empire’s suppressing a good three-quarters of the terrible things it does. The Lars family, largely, has no idea who this Darth Vader guy is except that he’s Anakin, who did a bunch of shit in the Clone Wars and he’s evil now? (Obi-Wan is dying, guys. He’s dying.)
Oh, yeah, quick summary: the events on the Death Star proceeded more or less as they did in canon. Except Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru don’t make convincing stormtroopers, so they tagged along with the droids and found the Death Star Laundry Service and dressed up as an Empire officer and his wife on their way to a vacation on Beach Resort Planet. Luke and Han sneaking Leia out is a lot easier with Admiral Lars and his wife loudly complaining to every stormtrooper they come across that their ship isn’t being fixed fast enough and sending stormtroopers marching off in every direction.
(The Empire… does not… have high standards… for officers. It is corrupt as hell. The stormtroopers look at this middle-aged, slightly chubby guy complaining obnoxiously about his ship not being fixed fast enough, and his overbearing wife complaining shrilly about not being able to get their deposit back, and are like, “This is legit. Also, sir, I’m part of sanitation, I don’t fix ships. I don’t know where customer service is… this is a Death Star. We don’t have customer service. Uh, I guess my ‘manager’ would be Admiral Bob??? Oh, well, you’re right, I should go clean up that mess you saw on the other floor. I will agree to literally anything you say to get away from you.”)
So, Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru get to the Rebellion, right? (And they have already adopted the heck out of Leia, who has been given ALL the Aunt Beru hugs.) And someone starts listing off ALL of the awful stuff that Darth Vader has done, like, the dude is SUPER EVIL. And the Lars family is just… what. (And it’s a good thing that Obi-Wan is already dead by this point, or Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru would bring him back just to kill him again.)
Luke goes to destroy the Death Star and Vader is just like, “Luke???? What are you doing???” And Luke is ignoring all of Vader’s attempts to comm him and blows up the Death Star while giving his uncle the cold shoulder.
And later, at the Rebellion, people are like “Darth Vader is your uncle???” And Luke’s just like, “YEAH, AND A LIAR!!!” (Later, Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru will have a long talk with Luke about the truth and the lies they told. And Luke will forgive them because he loves them and they love him, but this doesn’t really change much, especially about how mad he is at his dad.)
Later, when they finally meet again. The rebels are just… completely stunned… because Darth Vader is desperately trying to get through to Luke, like, “Luke, nephew, please, let’s just talk about this. Beru won’t answer my voice mails. Owen unfriended me on Space Chat. We can talk about this.”
And Luke is angrily shooting at Darth Vader and shouting, “What’s there to talk about?! It’s not like you LIED TO US ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU DID BY TELLING US YOU WORKED IN I.T.?!??”
“Luke…”
“YOU DON’T WORK IN I.T.!”
@makiruz said: I have questions, like WHAT did Obi-Wan tell Luke? Does Luke know how is “Uncle” Darth Vader related to Uncle Owen? Does he think he’s a Whitesun? Does he know how he’s related to Darth Vader? Since Owen and Beru aren’t Jedi do they tell Luke the truth eventually? Do they know about Leia?
WHAT did Obi-Wan tell Luke?
Everything Obi-Wan was beginning to plan flew out the window when Luke was a toddler. So he just went with what he said in canon, that Luke’s father was a Jedi Knight and Darth Vader murdered him. And Luke was like, “?!??!? Uncle murdered somebody?? (That doesn’t sound unlikely, actually.)”
Does Luke know how is “Uncle” Darth Vader related to Uncle Owen?
Yeah, Luke knows Vader is Gran Shmi’s son. But idk, he’s not really sure, but it doesn’t matter? You know how you have those people in your life who are “Aunt This” and “Uncle That” and sometimes you look them in the eyes and you’re just life, “I have no idea how or if you’re related to me.” It’s kind like that. It just is.
Does he think he’s a Whitesun?
Yes. He does. His parents died in a Tusken Raider attack and they don’t talk about it. (According to the story, which makes Darth Vader not ask questions but also unfortunately endears Luke to him even more because they have stuff in COMMON! My mother was also murdered by Tusken Raiders! 10-yr-old Luke, “That’s… neat… I guess.”)
Does he know how he’s related to Darth Vader.
Nope.
Since Owen and Beru aren’t Jedi do they tell Luke the truth eventually?
Yes. Owen and Beru meet up with Luke and Obi-Wan, and Luke is like, “Old Ben’s been telling me weird stories. I thought my parents were farmers? He says my dad was Anakin Skywalker and a Jedi Knight? And that Uncle Vader killed him????” And Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru spent most of the way to Alderaan glaring at Obi-Wan and trying to sort out the lies and the truth.
As above, after the Death Star is destroyed, Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru tell Luke the truth and everything they know, including that Darth Vader is his father. They’re very sorry about it. Ghost Obi-Wan is like, “What are you doing? You’re not supposed to communicate and tell Jedi-in-training the truth about stuff??”
Do they know about Leia?
No. But they basically adopt her anyway. And so when the truth eventually comes out (sometime between ANH and ESB, probably through some medical emergency or blood test, or Luke just shaking down Ghost Obi-Wan for info), Luke is just upfront like, “Leia, we’re siblings.”
Leia, “Yeah, sure, I guess we’re kind of like siblings. I’m the favorite.”
Luke, “No??? You’re not??? I’m the favorite. Also, no, like, these medical results show that we’re literally siblings. Didn’t you once say you’re adopted?”
Thank
you so much for your kind letter of the 17th. It is always a pleasure
to hear from you. I do appreciate your waiving the rules about
familiars to allow Wednesday to bring little Homer – she dotes on
that spider, and I don’t think she could consider Hogwarts home
without his company.
We
were delighted but completely unsurprised by the children’s Sorting.
Of course Wednesday is a Ravenclaw – she has always had a brilliant
mind, and it is rather traditional for the women in our
family. Slytherin might have been a possibility, with her cleverness
and ambition, but sadly (and quietly, between friends) I must admit
the wrong sort have rather taken over that House at the moment. Death
Eaters are so vulgar. Gomez, naturally, is over the moon about
our little Harry being a fellow Gryffindor – the world does need more
dashing, brave, and reckless men. They make life so interesting for
the rest of us, don’t you agree? And I am certain he will be safe
under your care, after his rather difficult start in life, poor
child. That aunt and uncle of his are just too terribly common to
protect him adequately – I am grateful Albus saw sense and left him
with us rather than her.
I
appreciate your bringing to my attention the small difficulty between
Harry and Draco – I shall have a word with Narcissa. (Lucius is still
being terribly silly about that little peacock incident, and refuses
to speak to Gomez at all. Men can be so ridiculously proud. And they
really did look so much better in black.) Really, though, Harry was
only defending his friend. I probably should warn you that Wednesday
writes that she is teaching young Longbottom a few of her more subtle
defenses – I sincerely doubt Draco will trouble him in future if he
uses those. I assure you, none of them cause permanent damage, only
temporary discomfort, and she is well aware that they are only for
self-defense, not mere childish aggression. Addamses do not start
fights, but we do finish them, and Wednesday has always looked out
for her brothers.
At
least that little incident allowed you to see Harry’s flying skills
in time to recruit him for the Quidditch team. I think he shall be an
excellent Seeker – he was always the best at bat-spotting on summer
evenings, and then there was the time he “borrowed” Gomez’s
broom to rescue Pugsley’s pet octopus Aristotle, who had developed an
unaccountable taste for tree-climbing, but had neglected to learn how
to climb down. It was a successful rescue, even though he was mildly hampered on his descent by Aristotle clinging to his face in terror.
Please
send my apologies to Severus for that unfortunate incident in Potions
class. I should have warned him that Wednesday was experimenting
with, shall we say, some variant recipes. I am quite certain,
however, that Miss Parkinson’s hair will grow back normally, and that
the snakes are only a temporary embellishment.
My
best regards, and do drop by for tea if you ever happen to be in the
neighborhood. Thing has perfected your favorite shortbread recipe – I
do believe he has a little crush on you. Or perhaps it is merely that
you are the only visitor we have had, outside of family, who is
sensible enough to shake hands with him without flinching.
Ever since I saw Thor: Ragnarok (which I loved SO MUCH), all I’ve been able to think about is that one throwaway line that explained away Jane Foster’s absence. It really steams my clams that we had this awesome scientist who was as awkward and earnest as any of us dorks, who humanized a bratty space prince and never compromised herself or her work, and they erased her with a single line about her dumping Thor—like it explained anything. Like, she tore apart the stars looking for him for three years, and suddenly she’s like “Peace out, girl scout”? I can’t see her giving up him and their life together—which they fought for—for anything.
After a lot of angry mumbling to myself and singing along to sad 90s ballads in my car, I realized exactly what must have happened.
Odin happened.
The All-Father himself shows up on Jane’s doorstep at like 6 in the morning on a random Tuesday, wearing a ratty bathrobe and in serious need of a bath and beard trim. She suddenly feels better about the fact that she’s not wearing a bra under her shirt.
It’s actually Thor’s shirt.
“They evacuated the nursing home and I slept under a bridge before I recalled that you resided in the next town over” is a sentence she never expected to come out of the mouth of a veritable god, and yet here they are. Instead of asking the many questions she has (most of them starting with “what” and “the fuck”), she hustles him inside and gets him seated on the couch with a mug of the really good coffee (sent weekly by Tony Stark, because “minds like ours need high test, pangolin, you’ll see what I’m talking about”).
“At least you Midgardians can do one thing right,” Odin rumbles and drains his coffee in a single go, because like father like son, and the son is a champion mead drinker on several worlds. It physically pains Jane to give Odin any more of it, because it comes by the ounce and not by the can, and it’s going to be another six days before her next coffee delivery arrives.
Odin asks if they can watch The Price Is Right. The nursing home had him follow a pretty strict routine and he hates deviating from it.
Seriously, what.
While Drew Carey explains the rules of Lucky Seven to contestant Linda, who has the chance to win a new truck if she’s left holding a dollar by the end of the game, Jane finally can’t hold it in anymore and blurts out that Thor isn’t there. “He’s gone this week. Hunting for more Infinity Stones. You know. Since the thing with Malekith, we’ve been searching for more. But he should be back by Friday.”
Odin nods sagely and says that Linda should choose 4 as her next guess.
This is the man who once compared her to a goat. Now he’s yelling at the TV because Linda picked 9.
AU where instead of going to Samwell, Jack starts a widely successful Publicly Broadcast show for children.
Jack learns that he is great with kids after coaching them for a little over two years. Moreover, kids are good with Jack. There is no pressure to be anything other than who he is.
It all starts with a local news program doing a fluff piece on Jack Zimmermann’s coaching ability. But then it turned into something completely different when Jack skated onto camera and started to introduce every single one of his kids and what was special about them. He was…really enchanting actually. He didn’t ever really talk down to them. Jack just treated them as a tiny friend.
They ARE his tiny friends, but that’s not the point.
The footage they got of “snack time” was really the best. Imagine a good 16 kids piled around this massive man teaching them the best way to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
It should have been obvious that a local channel would contact him. It still surprises Jack. They want him to host a show? Why? Everyone always teased him about how impersonable he was during interviews. Is it because he’s Jack Zimmermann’s son? Or Alicia’s?
Jack asks all of these questions to his mother and she just laughs. “You made a PB&J interesting to 16 kids just by being you”
Steel Phoenix Studios 