alcoholic beverage breakdown

jhaernyl:

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

ussenterprisescience:

ussenterprisescience:

vafertor:

fitscientist:

spaceapples453:

deepthoughtsdeepersquats:

longjohnleggings:

robotsatthedisco:

euclase:

I had a disturbing exchange with a high school-aged person today that prompted this…

  • Beer, wine, mead, and cider are fermented beverages.
  • Mead is made from honey.
  • Cider is made from apples.
  • Beer is made from grains.
  • Beer tastes like beer because they flavor it with hops.
  • They used to flavor beer with dandelions.
  • Ain’t that cute?
  • All beer is either ale or lager.
  • Ale is fermented at room temperature.
  • Lager is brewed and store cold.
  • Barleywine, bitter, porter, and stout are ales.
  • Pilsner and bock are lagers.
  • Most of the crap people drink in America is pale lager.
  • Mosft of the crap people drink in Ireland is dry stout.
  • Butterbeer isn’t real.
  • (Except actually I think it is, and I heard it tastes like cream soda)
  • Miruvor isn’t real, either, but it probably would taste like squash.
  • Ent-draught isn’t real, either, but shit, it would be awesome if it were.
  • Wine is made from fermented fruit juice, usually grapes.
  • Red wine is made from red grapes.
  • White wine is made from green grapes.
  • The name of the grape is the name of the wine (Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Merlot are all varieties of grape)
  • Unless you live in France.
  • In which case, the name of the place supersedes the name of the grape.
  • (for example: Burgundies are made in Burgundy, France, but Burgundy wine can be Pinot Noir or Chardonnay)
  • Champagne is any sparkling white wine.
  • However, Champagne can also be wine that comes from Champagne, France.
  • Drink red wine with beef. Drink white wine with fish.
  • Act like it tastes good. 
  • Keep a Diet Coke in your bag for later.
  • You’ll be fine.
  • Brandy is distilled wine.
  • Cognac is brandy aged in oak barrels.
  • Don’t fuck around with the French about their cognac.
  • Fortified wine is wine with added alcohol.
  • Sherry is fortified white wine made in Spain.
  • Port is fortified red wine made in Portugal.
  • Vermouth is fortified white wine plus grape spirits.
  • Sweet vermouth has added sugar.
  • Dry vermouth has added spices like nutmeg.
  • Liquors are distilled spirits that contain ethanol.
  • Liqueurs are liquors that have sugar and flavors added.
  • Liquors can be made from grains, fruits, or vegetables.
  • Grain alcohol is liquor made from grains. Duh.
  • Gin, Vodka, and Whisky are grain alcohols.
  • Vodka is grain alcohol and water.
  • Be careful with vodka. Homemade vodka is poisonous.
  • Gin is (basically vodka) flavored with juniper berries.
  • Absinthe is (basically gin) flavored with anise.
  • Whisky is grain alcohol aged in wood barrels.
  • Malt whisky is made from barley.
  • Grain whisky is made from all the other grains.
  • Scotch is whisky made in Scotland.
  • Bourbon is Kentucky whisky mostly made from corn.
  • Don’t fuck around with the Scottish.
  • Don’t fuck around with people from Kentucky, either.
  • Tequila is liquor made from the blue agave plant.
  • Rum is liquor made from sugarcane.
  • Schnapps is liquor made from fruit “must” (smashed fruit that still contains seeds and skins).
  • American schnapps is grain alcohol mixed with fruit flavors and sugar syrup.
  • Drink apple schnapps only while playing Tekken 2.
  • Sake is rice wine that’s brewed like beer. Or something.
  • Avoid these cocktails: Grog, Long Island Iced Tea, Manhattan, Dark and Stormy, Jack and Coke, Piña Colada, Scorpion. They contain huge amounts of alcohol and/or a huge number of calories. That Long Island Ice Tea is the worst motherfucker of the bunch. Just avoid them. Have a lemon drop martini instead.
  • Don’t drink on an empty stomach or you’ll puke.
  • Don’t drink too fast or you’ll puke.
  • Avoid Long Island Iced Teas. Like I said.
  • Don’t drink and drive because you might kill my Mom. You fuckers.
  • If your friend has had too much to drink and needs to crash, make sure she’s lying on her side so she doesn’t choke on her own vomit. 
  • Don’t leave a drunk friend alone.
  • Passing out is a sign of being severely goddamn sick. If someone drinks and passes out? They are dying right now. Call 9-1-1. 
  • If you are drunk, don’t drink coffee or caffeine to get sober. Sip cold water and nibble some saltine crackers.
  • Don’t be a fucking idiot. Don’t smash my mailbox.
  • Really, do you need to drink? 
  • You probably don’t.
  • But now you know some stuff. Maybe.

this is awesome except for one thing: champagne

champagne is ONLY wine from the Champagne region of France. everything else is simply a sparkling white wine, such as prosecco and cava (which are made in italy and spain, respectively)

otherwise this is awesome info if youre gonna drink or if your gonna be a waiter or a bartender or w/e

This is very informative and awesome.

The information is good. The opinions…meh.

cool info ! 

I would like to add that a great way to not die is to not mix your shit; I mean if you’re drinking beer that night stick with beers and the like, if you start off with liquor stick with the liquor.

This is quite comprehensive and a great outline of different alcoholic beverages.
My one note is that the difference between white and red wine is whether they take the skins off. You can make white wine out of red grapes as long as you don’t ferment the skins. There are plenty of white wines made of red-skinned grapes.

Oh, ALSO concerning Tequila. It has to be from the Jalisco region of Mexico to be called Tequila, anything else is Mezcal.
DO NOT drink any Tequila that is not 100% AGAVE. It will make you sick, the cheap ‘Tequila’ is usually NOT 100% agave so invest in a something that is. It will say it is 100% agave on the bottle.

Know your alcohol, even if you don’t like it.

Vodka, as far as I know, can also be made from potatoes.

odinsblog:

Paul Ryan once argued that “liberal government programs give people comfort, but not dignity.

And to justify cutting Welfare and defunding food programs, Republicans disingenuously equate having the basic necessities needed to live — like food — to dignity. Following that logic, are we to believe that wealthy people somehow have more dignity than poor people, because they have more access to more resources like housing, food and clean drinking water? Do the mostly white residents of Bismarck North Dakota have more dignity than the Native Americans at Standing Rock? Do Donald Trump’s children somehow have more “dignity” than does Little Miss Flint? Because Trump’s children don’t need to depend on free lunch programs?

Wealth dignity.

Access to resources dignity.

People living in or born into poverty do not have less dignity. They have less wealth and less political power.

Providing free school lunches to children living in poverty doesn’t “give kids an empty soul” it simply feeds hungry children. Feeding a hungry child lunch is not “giving them undue comfort” or making them lazy, it’s simply feeding a hungry child. How did feeding hungry children become a controversial act for “Christian” conservatives?

Intentionally starving children to teach them the “dignity” of hunger is inhumane.

Stop stigmatizing poverty. Stop equating poverty with a lack of dignity. Stop reinforcing the notion that poor people have no dignity just because they’re poor. There is no nobility in starvation, and there is no benevolence in allowing children or anyone else to go hungry when you possess the power to prevent it.

Interesting you should bring up the ‘Christanity’ of these people, because there’s something the man himself has to say about that:
Matthew 25:34-40 – Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Come, my Father has blessed you! Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger, and you took me into your home. I needed clothes, and you gave me something to wear. I was sick, and you took care of me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ Then the people who have God’s approval will reply to him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you or see you thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you as a stranger and take you into our homes or see you in need of clothes and give you something to wear? When did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ The king will answer them, ‘I can guarantee this truth: Whatever you did for one of my brothers or sisters, no matter how unimportant they seemed, you did for me.’

nestofstraightlines:

thebibliosphere:

nestofstraightlines:

thebibliosphere:

nestofstraightlines:

thebibliosphere:

gaol-is-ceol:

thebibliosphere:

apricots-from-nara:

the-redseeker:

thebibliosphere:

undernourishment replied to your post “The lady that runs the local bakery and I have been having a “debate”…”

…not to be snide, but its not that hard to find a good (English) scone recipe – but then I suppose there wouldn’t be a funny story if you’d just handed her the answer! (I like the 3c SR flour : 1c cream : 1c lemonade recipe myself – non-traditional inredients, but so easy, and makes perfect scones.)

@underanothername I can’t believe the scone post is still getting notes lol, but allow me to just say after living in America for 3 years—what Americans think of as a good “British” scone recipe (it varies depending on where you are in the UK) and what is actually a British scone is wildly different. (It’s also a palate thing. Most Americans in my experience like soft gooey sweet things. Most British baked goods you can throw against a wall and the only damage you’re going to do is to the wall, but by god you can bake ‘em using rationed food and also fight off invading forces if you have to.) For one thing, if I ever put lemonade near my recipe, my mother would ascend through the earth’s crust, tsk between her teeth and say “oh. you’re doing it like that are you?”

I actually had so many people ask me how to make traditional (Scottish) scones so often I put the recipe in my profile page lmao.

As for the baker in question, she did eventually make the Perfect™ traditional scone based on taste testing, from one baker to another. But because she’s primarily baking for Americans it’s not a thing she can sell without people complaining it’s not sweet/soft/dense-cake like enough, so she’s back to making dense muffins and calling them scones. Though thankfully not with rosewater and lavender :p

Most British baked goods you can throw against a wall and the only damage you’re going to do is to the wall, but by god you can bake ‘em using rationed food and also fight off invading forces if you have to. 

This is 100% accurate and brings back fond memories of my grandad’s scones and cakes. You could have them for tea, or you could just as easily use them to fill a hole in the garden fence.

I was always told scones require buttermilk to get them to rise right, but I’ve never been able to test it myself. Never heard of using lemonade. 

I looked up scones and they look very much like the biscuits we have here. Which are as you say, super soft and fluffy, unless of course they are a bit old. They are never ever sweet, and are more or less a bread.

The scone i am familiar with is this. They had them on Wednesdays at my highschool for breakfast.

image

they were a bit sweet (most of the sweet comes form the icign they often had, the ‘bread’ itself was mildly sweet) , super dense and hard. often having fruit in them, like rasins, or my favorite, cranberries. They sound kind of similar to what you are talking about =0

Course they could of been as hard as they were cause its a highschool cafeteria, so the food is sub par.

See to me those look more like rock cake lol, which is scone like but harder.

why would you put icing on a scone thats sacrilige. either some jam or butter if its a cheesey scone. treacle scones are pure and need nothing extra. 

TREACLE SCONES YES

If your scones are wall-denting, you’re baking ‘em wrong. They should be light and fluffy, with a crumbling crust and a glazed top. And also round. I get the impression American shortcake is quite a similar thing.

Icing is just… it’s an odd addition. Scones are intended as a mildly sweet base for (butter), jam and cream, not really intended to be eaten unadorned.

British baking is not commonly hard, dense and heavy (I don’t know where the OP was eating to get that idea, but bad baking exists in every country and if we were going to judge a country by the worst it can produce, I’d have to flag up Cakewrecks as my counterargument).

(And I have a frustrated relationship with the American stereotype of ‘bad British food’. I will take that accusation from Italy, not from the land of kraft cheese.

My theory is that this is a stereotype formed the last time Americans happened to be over here in great numbers – US troops during the war. When we had rationing. Hardly a fair time to judge our culinary creativity. Rationing lasted into the 50s, so an entire generation grew up without having been exposed to interesting, non-local food in their youth. British cuisine during the 60s and 70s really was bland and stidgy by all accounts. But so was American food (at least, in both cases, if you were a white non-big-city-dweller).


I don’t know where the OP was eating to get that idea

I’m from Scotland and worked for 10 years in a Victorian styled bakery where we made everything by hand. And I didn’t say it was hard and dense, I said you could throw it at a wall and it’d stay intact, as in, it’s not barely held together and still soft in the middle which is the bane of my existence over here since I’ve moved to America. It was a gag, based on a Pratchett post earlier in my feed.

The French would argue with you though. They find British baking incredibly hard and dense.

Oh, well, yeah, the French are allowed to with their cakes made of air. They take things altogetheer TOO FAR thiugh and produce things like macaroons. But I still disagree that British baking tends towards the dense. But I’m coming from a southerner’s perspective, I know Scots are a bit more resilient in their approach to a good crust. Definitely T’ Bread Wi’ T’ Edge

It keeps the damp out :p

And ah you’ve no lived till you’ve had an irn bru flavored macaroon. (Also known as: how to make your French exchange student rage cry)

Is it wrong that this sounds amazing to me

nestofstraightlines:

tempestcaliban:

faranae:

blue-pixiedust:

woodelf68:

shipperqueen93:

iwadab-me:

boasamishipper:

lifelovebookssex:

cloningmycat:

kiokushitaka:

shrineart:

caitatonic:

sunflower-b-pondicus:

flutterjedi:

mixedy:

my parents aren’t teaching me life lessons.

#i need some adults to TEACH ME SHIT ABOUT LIFE

I’m an adult.

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Some shit about life, from a bonafide adult:

  • even if you get along great with your family you will get along even better with them after moving out 
  • generic is almost always just as good as name brand. But there are some things you never buy generic, including: peanut butter, ketchup, liquid NyQuil, Chips-Ahoy chewy chocolate chip cookies
  • just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist. I worked as one and I hate talking on the phone
  • at least once in your life you will go to Wal-mart to buy something under $20 like an ironing board or something and your debit card will get rejected. No one will judge. Everyone at some point in their lives has had $2.98 in their bank account. 
  • thrift stores
  • everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you
  • you will screw up. a lot. you live and you learn. and when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.
  • do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem
  • you can’t put Dawn dishsoap in the dishwasher. 
  • if you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.
  • never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.
  • 15% tip. 
  • the best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.
  • sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness. 
  • no seriously, NEVER put Dawn in your dishwasher
  • image

Do not buy generic brand spaghetti sauce either.

Always check the type of light bulb that goes in lamps. A 60w is not interchangeable with a 40w.

Dollar store batteries work just as well as store brand.

  • Reward yourself from time to time when you do things that you needed to get done. It’s a good way to remind yourself to do them. Going out to pay a bill? Get Starbucks or something you don’t get often. Rewards don’t have to be huge, they can be small things like that.
  • Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.
  • Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice (two cups water for one cup of rice for example). Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.
  • Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.
  • There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.
  • Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.
  • Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.
  • “The Works” is an excellent cheap toilet cleaner.
  • MAGIC. FUCKING. ERASERS. THEY WORK ON EVERYTHING JUST DON’T SCRUB HARD. I took the ring out of our bathtub with one. Also generic ones work just as well.
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  • Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.
  • DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)
  • If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.
  • Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.
  • If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.
  • Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.
  • You can often do your taxes online at places like TurboTax.
  • Here’s some good sex ed resources because I had to explain what a yeast infection was recently. 
  • Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.
  • KEEP TRIPLE ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT IN YOUR HOUSE FOR CUTS AND SCRAPES AND SORES. 

~~Medications~~

Over the counter medications (stuff you can buy right off the shelf no prescription needed) have a name brand and a generic name. ALWAYS buy generic if it’s available it is literally the same thing and way cheaper usually.

Some names to remember when you’re looking for meds!

Acetaminophen = Tylenol

Used to treat pain and reduce fever. Do not take with Ibuprofen.

Ibuprofen = Advil, Midol, Motrin

Used for pain and fever, is an anti-inflammtory. Is good for period cramps because it is an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug).

Naproxen = Aleve, Naprosyn

Treats fever, pain, arthritis pain, gout, period cramps, tendinitis, headache, backache, and toothache. Is also an NSAID.

Acetaminophen + Asprin + Caffeine = Excedrin

Usually marketed as “Migraine Relief” as a generic.

Asprin = Bayer

Use for pain, fever, arthritis, and inflammation. Makes you bleed easily so should not be used for periods. Might reduce risk of heart attacks.

Triple Antibiotic Ointment = Neosporin

Used on cuts, sores, and scrapes to reduce risk of infection and promote healing.

Also a general mutli-vitamin isn’t a bad idea and if you don’t get a lot of fruits or milk/sunshine in your diet you might want to get vitamins C and D specifically for daily use.

if you do accidentally lapse and put dawn in your dishwasher, run it empty and put hair conditioner where the detergent goes. that’ll clean it out (tip given to me by dorm custodian when roommate did the thing).

if you live off ramen, add stuff to it! add veggies you like, don’t use the whole flavor packet to cut down on sodium and msg or don’t use it at all and add your own spices.

if you’re making something with potatoes in it (beans, stew) potatoes are done when you can easily stab a fork through them.

you can microwave a hotdog as long as you put it in a microwave safe container of water. microwaves work by making water molecules vibrate. also, when reheating rice leftovers, add a small amount of water, like maybe a spoonfull, so it doesn’t get hard and crunchy.

the rice cooking advice above is for long grain rice. if you’re making short or medium grain rice, a 1:1 ratio (one cup water for one cup rice) is better, so the rice doesn’t come out too mushy.

buy a few cans of chicken. wholesale club stores like sam’s, costco, or bj’s tend to carry multipacks for a good price. they’re incredibly useful for when you forget to defrost meat.

buy meat on sale and put it in the freezer. buy vegetables on sale, and put them in the freezer. frozen veggies are often as flavorful and good as fresh ones, keep longer, and often come in microwaveable bags or with microwave directions.

soak ink stains in milk to help get them out or at least lighten them.

soak blood stains in water as soon as possible, with a bit of detergent or stain remover. scrub at them. use cold water, heat binds proteins to fabric. tbh, there’s no real need to change the washer from cold-cold setting unless the thing you’re washing says to wash in warm water.

acetone, found in most nail polish removers, dissolves super glue.

YOU’RE ALL DOING GOD’S WORK BLESS YOU

Takes pictures, have prints made and put them in photo albums. Be IN the pictures, have someone take pictures of you and your friends. Get over not looking perfect in thw picture. Someday that friend might be gone and those pictures might be all you’ll have, you will want to be in them. I made that mistake with my best friend, i always felt weird asking for a picture together… he died of cancer January of 2014 and now i have no pictures of us together. Its my only regret in life.

This is really helpful, thank you all!

I’m the newest of new adults but I’m gonna throw these little tips in there. IF YOU HAVE AN OLD CAR: 

-coolant or water if your car overheats (coolant is preferable cause it won’t hurt the engine in the long run but hey i know money is tight) 

-flashlight in case you break down at night and need to check under the hood and your phone is dead

-SPARE TIRE. 

-jumper cables.you will at some point leave your lights on. you just will. 

AAA or any other road side service is never a bad investment i swear. (try to mooch it off your parents as long as you can though) 

Know how to change a tire. You’re going to need to do it at some point in time and you can’t always rely on someone else to do it for you.

Don’t be afraid to go to your local food bank. They are there for a reason.

Don’t be ashamed to ask for help period. Life is hard, everyone needs help occasionally.

You can put a LOWER wattage bulb in a lamp that says it’s for a higher one, but don’t put a HIGHER wattage bulb in. Also, watts refer to the amount of electricity used. LUMENS refers to the amount of light put out, and can vary quite a bit between brands, even though the wattage is the same. Look for the one with the highest lumens unless you actually want a slightly dimmer bulb in a certain location.

Those dollar store batteries? Fine if they’re alkaline. “Heavy-duty” batteries, however, won’t last nearly as long.

You can microwave a hot dog and bun simply by wrapping them in a toweling for a minute, less if you don’t want them scalding hot.

Reblogging to save lives.

Two adulting (kitchen-related) tips from me!

1. Buy a roll of parchment paper from the cooking shit aisle. A big roll will last you for-fucking-ever. Pretty much any time you’re using a baking pan you can line it with that stuff and save yourself A: food sticking to the pan and B: it’s a quick rinse and it’s clean.

2. Bread can get fucking expensive, so make your own. A bigass bag of flour and a bag of active dry yeast (store it in the friiiiidge!!!) works out a FUCK of a lot cheaper than buying bread at the store, and you can do so much more with it. Bread, pizza, rolls, cinnibuns, homemade pizza pockets. It seems intimidating but it’s stupid easy.

Seriously. It’s stupid simple to make, and most of the “3 hours” to make it is sitting around surfing the internet or doing whatever the fuck you want while the dough rises. If you have an afternoon free once a week to sit and play video games or surf the net, you have the time to make your own bread on the cheap. Here’s my simple-as-fuck recipe:

2 ¼ teaspoons active dry yeast (You can buy a bag of this stuff CHEAP in bulk stores, the little packets are hella stupid priced)
1 cup warm water (think a hot bath)
1 ½ teaspoons sugar
2 tablespoons oil (any kind works for the most part)
2 ¼ cups flour
1 teaspoon salt

1. Stir the yeast, water, sugar, and oil up in a bowl. Let it sit for about 10 minutes. It will foam up VERY high, this is the yeast getting happy! If it doesn’t get all foamy, the water may have been too hot or not hot enough. Remember, Yeast is alive! Treat it like a nice girlfriend!

2. Mix your flour, salt, and the yeast concoction up in a bowl.

3. Knead that shit for about 5 minutes. It will start sticky as heck, but will come together into a nice dough. If it’s still super sticky, toss in a bit more flour. Here’s how to knead it: 

4. Put your dough in a covered, lightly oiled bowl and leave it someplace warmish for an hour. At that point it will have roughly doubled in size, give it a gentle punch to release the gasses that have built up inside. Cover it again and let it sit for a bit longer.

Boom. You have bread dough. Here are some baking times and uses for ya:

Optional egg-wash: Just crack an egg into a bowl, add a pinch of salt, and mix the bejeebus out of it with a fork. Brush (or if you’re like me, goop it on with said fork) that shit thinly on bread before baking for a nice crust.

Pizza: Stretch it on a pan, stab the fucker all over with a fork, add toppings, bake 425*F 15-20 minutes. 

Bread Sticks: Make snake-shapes, let rest on pan 10-ish minutes, bake 400*F 10-20 minutes.

Dinner rolls: Make ball-sized (yes those balls) balls. Place on greased pan, let rest 10-20 minutes to rise. Egg-wash and bake 375*F 25 minutes.

Bread: Lightly score (cut) the top, let sit for 20-ish minutes on/in whatever you’re using to bake it, egg-wash, bake at 375*F for 20-ish minutes. It’s done when it sounds hollow if you knock on the bottom.

You bet your ass you can deep-fry this shit for cheapie yeast doughnuts. Roll that shit in sugar or dip it in whatever, it’s fucking tasty.

Bagels: YES. YOU. CAN. Form bagel-shapes out of the dough and boil them in salty water for about 2 minutes. Egg-wash them and bake them at 400*F for 10 minutes.

Cinnamon Rolls: Roll that shit out into a rectangle. Brush it with a mix of butter, cinnamon, sugar, and a pinch of salt (no exact amounts here, do it to your taste). Roll it up into a log, and cut it into discs. Let them sit 20 minutes in a pan and then bake at 375*F 15-17 minutes.

You can add whatever you want to the dough for some variety, just if it’s dried spices remember you really only need 1-ish tablespoons. I personally like making bread with about 1 tablespoon of dill in the dough. Roll it out flat, sprinkle it with cheddar, roll it into a log, squeeze the ends shut, and bake it like a regular loaf of bread. Cheesy dill bread OMNOMNOM.

*ahem* That got a bit long. But yeah. Bread’s expensive, yo. Save your wallet.

(Also it’s ridiculous amounts of therapeutic to bake, for me anyway)

Being able to bake your own bread is pretty awesome, if you got the time for it. 

Reblogging for everything, especially the bread bit. It is ridiculously easy, and the initimidating preparation time is just ten inues work and letting it sit while you get on with other things. Also, great stress relief and mindfulness activity.

(I tried to make cake at 3am today. It came out as brownies. It was not a brownie recipe).