getting food poisoning is a sick irony. sandwich, you were supposed to nourish my fragile meat body, not conspire with one section of it to kill the rest. you edible brutus, you fredo, you fucking intestinal quisling
this post shows true literary prowess but i wish i hadn’t read it while finishing my sandwich
We were driving to a restaurant and wanted to see how long the wait was. My dad handed me the phone book and asked me to look up the number. I, for whatever reason, thought he said “get rid of this”. So I opened the window and chucked the phone book while we were going 70 MPH down the highway.
great
I stuck my hand in a bowl of soup simply because I hadn’t before.
same
When I was maybe 10-12, I threw one of my dad’s golf clubs that had no head on it like a spear down the hallway after telling my brother it would be cool.
absolutely
One time I was eating a lemon poppyseed muffin. The phone rang, so I reacted by shoving the entire muffin my mouth and eating it as fast as I could, nearly choking to death, and I didn’t even make it to the phone before it stopped ringing.
huge mood
Gave my sister a piggyback when she was giving my other sister a piggyback at the same time
I was thinking about that question Seb got asked at Wizard World about how Bucky was making money in the two years before Civil War no Mackie he was not a dancerand consider this:
Bucky as a cook.
scary-good with knives
never needs an order repeated / never fucks one up
working through his ‘automatic-obedience’ trauma in a low-stakes environment
hidden away from the public / less chance of being spotted
using the supersoldier!stamina to stay on his feet for hours without flagging and the grace to move around the kitchen like a dancer
telling the other staff he has a badly burned arm/hand (which is why he’s shy and has to wear a glove all the time)
picking up red-hot pans/handling hot food without getting burned because he’s using his metal hand
getting the habit of wearing his hair up in a bun (or in a hairnet!!)
learning to enjoy food again
(aka, how he got thicc)
because the Winter Soldier only ever ate to replenish energy or was force-fed through a tube
going to the market for good produce for the restaurant (plums!!)
being an uppity restaurant-patron’s worst nightmare when they make the mistake of asking to see the Chef.
sorry but – Bucky starts watching this guy’s videos on youtube, his face is never shown and Bucky’s sure there’s a little bit of post-production work screwing with his voice but he has great videos – and he’s sure the guy is former army or something, he’s definitely been around, there’s some very distinctive knifework going on – it’s years later when he’s in Portland eating what is the best fucking burger of his life that he realizes who made it and dashes into the kitchen – the chef instantly positions himself between Bucky and his staff, knife at the ready – ‘I am your biggest fan, can I cook with you?’ – Bucky gets tazered by a blonde dropping on him from the ceiling – best burger ever
Steel Phoenix Studios 