1: favorite player not on a team i follow
2: least favorite player/s on my main team/s
3: team i want to hate/used to hate but don’t (or: team I’m reluctantly rooting for)
4: unpopular opinion about a team
5: unpopular opinion about a player
6: team that’s rising in my affections
7: player that’s rising in my affections
8: team i’m the pettiest about
9: player i’m the pettiest about
10: favorite widely-used nickname
11: favorite personal nickname/tag
12: worst hot take i’ve heard recently
13: player i’m most excited about
14: favorite national team other than my home country’s
15: a superstition i have (or if i don’t believe in them)
mcjesus: called manning a bitch
‘i’m not dead mcjesus’
v good at hockey
littolist captain
looks very startled 90% of the time
ajuice: ‘i’m trying dog’
harambe sweater
probably a meme
super shady
why won’t he follow back nate dog
loves him mom a lot
muzz: has an instagram for his dog
is literally a tree branch
feed him
his dog is gonna weigh more than him
like my comment on instagram once
his adam’s apple can be seen from space
stanley cup champion
gaudreau:
uses a child’s stick
ate nothing but nutella for a week and had to go to the doctor
probably shouldn’t live by himself
stuck pucks in his cup to make weight
Johnny Hockey™
dylan larkin: dboss
zoom zoom beep beep motherfucker
when university of michigan stayed in michigan grew up in michigan loves michigan
apparently really bitchy in hs
that one video of him walking,,,
mitchell: his actual real name is mitchell
is 6’0 but probably 12
seriously who let him on the ice
can get auston to do literally whatever he wants
tiny would probably die if u hit him
nuge: jingle the fuck out of my life
the green and purple suit
the bathing suit
nuge is basically a fashion icon
kind of looks like a rat
but not like marchand
but like in a model way
super bitchy @spaceyho’s bitchy nhl bf
jack the thrill eichel: shady af
get that oilers mic out of my face
fashion eichel
actually a unicorn
competing with sid for ugliest crocs
is there actually a good photo of him?
we just don’t know
he looks the exact same as he did when he was four
help my son
ekdad: looks like a 35 year old lawyer who’s already had one divorce his ex wife won’t let him see the kids anymore, his new girlfriends daughter loves him, his new girlfriend is 18 so we’ll see what happens
who let him on team NA
is probably definitely lying about his age
chicken run: is definitely lying about his age
god made his bone structure
his insta is the softest shit ever
has the nicest abs
I don’t know if making one of these is a good idea but hey, here we are. Let’s do it. As always, there’s a little controversy about the rosters but there are definitely some things that are wonderful so here are my favourite things about this year’s ASG:
1) Brothers. Besties. All-Star Captains. They might be on opposing teams but they’re captains. Together. At the ASG. I know Subby is injured but you know he’ll do all he can to get to LA.
2) Confirmed best friends Sid and Geno are going to the ASG together. Well, as of this moment, Sid is still going and I hope it stays that way.
3) Johnny Hockey is now old enough to attend the ASG by himself. Bless. Growth, people. Growth.
4) Connor McDavid. The NHL’s leading point scorer is a captain.
5) Brad Marchand. Now, he’s certainly not everyone’s cup of tea when it comes to playing style, but Marchy’s gone up in estimation, quietly taking out trolls and bigots, one at a time. And, you know, he’s been playing well which helps.
6) Wayne Simmonds. The man campaigned for his ASG spot with puppies. Puppies. This man is smart. This man knows his audience. This man is now an All-Star. He’s also pretty good on the ice.
7) SHORKS! So many Shorks! Shorks for everyone!
8) *Clears throat for Steve Dangle impression* “Auuustoooon Maaaaathews!” Rookie wunderkinde. Rookie sensations. Good for them. Also, I hope Laine is well enough to be able to partake.
9) Trades suck. But it’s good to know these two are doing well for their respective teams. And now they’re All Stars. Bless.
10) The Russia connection. They’re all All-Stars.
11) While we’re talking about Russians… how about this guy? Bob currently leads the league with 26 wins. That’s a lot of hugs from his captain.
12) While we’re still talking about Russians… Can we talk about this guy? Ovi wears number 8 and this will be his eighth consecutive All-Star Game. Also, he’s one point away from 1 000 NHL points.
13) I know this will make a lot of my mutuals happy and it’s good to see Tampa’s players being recognised.
14) Nathan MacKinnon gets to go the ASG with his big brother Sid.
15) The real story at this year’s ASG. Will Nathan get that follow from Auston or not?!
In which the Penguins are salty as fuck, CBJ said they’d edit their wikipedia article and actually did it, and the Dallas Stars would just really like to be included.
Steel Phoenix Studios 