Just had a thought for an action hero thing: 30-something woman hero is doing her ass-kicking thing. One day, her boss shows up at her door, and tells her she has to stand down, or there will be consequences. “Honey, it’s not that you’re too old. It’s just the public don’t like to see a woman of your age saving the day. It feels emasculating”.
So woman is stripped of her support team, fellow agents, and is pretty much put on the shelf. She tries to do heroing, but keeps getting cockblocked by younger women or superhero men she used to work alongside.
Just when she’s hitting rock bottom (and sitting in her house wearing pyjamas and eating ice cream), there’s a knock at the door. Judi Dench is standing there, and our heroine assumes it’s a charity collection.
“Oh no, dear,” Dench says, smiling. “We’ve come to recruit you.”
“Recruit me? For what?”
“To do what we do best: save the bloody world.”
And all at once she’s part of a covert ops team made of all the older women who have been retired and who currently are holding the reins of managing the world.
Of course, a few older women heroes and vigilantes don’t take the offer. Some are too embittered by the rejection they’ve faced and decide to show the world exactly why they’re still to be feared.
Enter Judi Dench’s arch-nemesis, Dame Helen Mirren.
I need this like air
Look – here’s your casting call:
Sigourney Weaver – 67
Pam Grier – 67
Lynda Carter – 65
Linda Hamilton – 60
Angela Basset – 58
Michele Yeoh – 54
Ming-na Wen – 53
Famke Janssen – 52
Halle Berry – 50
Tia Carrere – 50
Carrie-Anne Moss – 49
Lucy Lawless – 49
Lucy Liu – 48
Uma Thurman – 47
Angelina Jolie – 41
Milla Jovovich – 41
Sarah Michelle Gellar – 40
The Recruit:
Jessica Alba – 36
Emily Blunt – 34
I need this to happen!
There should be a whole bit about how uma and Lucy liu can never be in the same place because of an old grudge.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Betty White runs the whole Op and everyone reports to her.
I would literally abduct people and force them to watch this at knife-point. (JK I would pay for their tickets and bribe them with chocolate and booze)
I’m an atheist, but I’m ready to start praying for this!
Allow me to suggest a director: George Miller (Mad Max: Fury Road).
story concept of the day: a “medical mystery of the week” serial set in a world with monsters and superpowers and mutants and aliens
It would be like. One part comedy, one part drama, two parts world-building. The hospital has an aquatic wing for mermaids and sea monsters. How do you treat someone who has telepathic influenza? We’ll figure it out, I guess!
Some storyline concepts:
—a woman from a telepathic race based on anglerfish shows up in the ER in a panic because her mate, who is tiny and permanently attached to her body, has stopped communicating through their telepathic link
—the air-breathing doctors have to take over the aquatic ward after a mysterious illness spreads through the water-breathing staff
—an ambulance brings in an unconscious alien from a species totally outside of medical literature, the staff scramble to save their life while flying blind
—the first outbreak of lycanthropy in 50 years occurs following protests against the vaccine, the hospital is quarantined while the on-staff pharmacists try to control the situation
If I write this, I’d want it to be like. Scrubs meets WTNV.
Character concept: a demon who works in the ER because their ability to “steal” souls means they can bring back patients who are medically dead but still repairable if you can just get them breathing again.
He has some insanely generic sounding name like Doctor Fred and has that “snake tongue, fangs, ram horns, red skin, yellow eyes, long tail, black bat wings” thing going on
He’s like 35 and the object of unrepentant longing from most of the interns and junior staff. He’s kind and patient and great with kids and has the cutest hiccupy laugh and is absolutely the guy you want overseeing your training because he never yells. Everyone wants to marry Doctor Fred.
It’s a running joke that he’s probably a literal Incubus but there’s no aura or magic at play, he’s just got a perfect personality.
I think I’m naming this story “doctors and demons” for now
Another character is just. Nessie. The Loch Ness monster is here. She works at the front desk for the aquatic ward and pokes her head out of the water to pass notes and files to the other doctors.
One of the aquatic doctors is Doctor Lagoon, who is the creature from the black lagoon. He’s very intimidating but can be immediately be calmed down by bringing up his human wife or their daughter. There’s a picture of him holding his wife bridal style on his desk.
The actual protagonist is a human woman who considers herself totally normal but actually has SOME sort of powerful telekinesis that she constantly explains away as coincidence.
There’s a character named Cadaver or Caddie who is a living corpse that constantly regenerates. She’s vital to the hospital for organ transplants but an absolute nightmare for the staff because she does things like host speed dating for zombies in the morgue and eat everyone lunch out of the staff room fridge.
Also I think the protagonist’s name is Jane Doe or Doctor Doe, as a joke on her being average but… not at all.
I think the trio of main characters are Doctor Fred (emergency), Doctor Doe (in-patient) and an alien surgeon named Doctor Hive, who is close to an insectoid Cthulhu. A running joke is her ability to keep track of her hundreds of children but not the names of any of their fathers or her coworkers except her very favorites.
@leftennant and I were just bemoaning the lack of rom coms out there in Hollywood and how it’s probably stimmying the careers of certain actors who would kill it in that niche.
This seems like such low hanging fruit being ignored. With relatively low budgets you can afford the occasional failure compared to the thud Justice League just made. If you picked a random group of ten women and asked them to brainstorm ideas they’d come up with solid ideas to be spun into box office gold.
Per example:
Kat Dennings is the quirky girl trekking across New Zealand following her lifelong love of all things Tolkein. She meets Chris Evans and dismisses him as a frat bro, but it’s love at first sight for him. Can he persuade her he’s the real deal?
Of course he can. I’m still buying a ticket to this.
Hayley Atwell has to resist the charms of Sebastian Stan for 30 days to win a million dollars. But if he can persuade her to kiss him, he wins the million dollars. Who’s going to win? Can she resist him?
Who gives a fuck, we know there’s going to be a kiss and they’ll split the money, just take my money already.
Daisy Ridley and Tessa Thompson are stranded in an airport during a blizzard and have nothing to do but get to know each other.
I don’t even need you to tell me the plot of this one, because I already booked my seat.
Tell me Tumblr–what rom com ideas would you like to see and who would star in them?
America Ferrera needs a date to her family’s insane holiday party, so she puts out an ad on Craigslist for a bad boyfriend, so they’ll never ask her about him again. Tom Hardy is the bad boy she hires. Only, he’s actually pretty sweet.
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Marisa Tomei is doing great as a single mom. She just closed a huge deal at her job, and her kid is surprisingly chill for a teenager, from what she’s read. Enter: her ex, Gerard Butler, freshly transferred back to NYC from London, and still in love with her. Can she admit she’s still in love with him?
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Matt Bomer hates visiting Middle America on his book tours, even though he loves his fans. That is, until he attends a panel discussion where the moderator is local celebrity writer, Channing Tatum.
I was talking about having them do a remake of Harry met Sally but with Melissa McCarthy as Harry and Mindy Kaling as Sally.
mads mikkelson: contemporary incarnation of aphrodite.
Idris Elba does yoga in very small shorts. No one cares about the plot.
Alternatively: Mads Mikkelson and Idris Elba. Something something…IDK we’re all going to watch it, aren’t we?
And this addition from @anais-ninja-blog which Tumbles is trying to eat:
Ewan MacGregor as the drama teacher at a private school in Manhattan who is feuding with but secretly pines for Chiwetel Ejiofor, the music teacher. Their school is undergoing a shift in curricula and there’s debate on the place of the arts, will they save their programs? Will they get together in the end? We all KNOW the answer is yes, but don’t you want to see it happen regardless?
Nicole Beharie and Tom Mison as bounty hunters after the same target. They have completely different styles and end up teaming up to bring their quarry down. Will they learn to get along, even fall in love?
I mean, did you see the chemistry they had together in Sleepy Hollow?
Aubrey Plaza inherits her free-spirited grandmother’s ‘67 Mustang. Eager for a change of scenery after a gnarly break up, she travels cross-country to pick it up and drive it home.
She gets more than she bargained for when she discovers that it’s haunted by Grandma’s ghost (Ellen Burstyn) and Grandma won’t rest until she gets her granddaughter some action.
When Grandma still hasn’t passed over, they set out for the Grand Canyon on the road trip of her dreams. A flat tire and a mysterious but helpful hitchhiker (Jason Momoa) later and something, something romance.
Working title: Granny’s Last Gas.
A successful attorney (Taraji P. Henson) wins surfing lessons in a charity raffle and after everyone she knows agrees that she could never do it, she decides that she’s got to learn.
Her instructor’s a washed up pro (Chris Hemsworth) with a fear of water after taking on more wave than he could handle in a catastrophe that nearly cost him everything.
After she’s challenged by a group of local punks to compete in an upcoming contest, Chris decides to face his fears and commits to helping her win.
They discover that they have more in common than they expected as her determination helps him to fall in love with surfing all over again.
Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds in a remake (again) of the Parent Trap.
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Donald Glover is a bored, jaded former-wunderkind. Zoe Saldanais the enforcer sent to rough him up for using his skills against a mob-run casino. She completes her “errand,” but when he’s in the hospital, recovering, someone starts sending him complex math puzzles. The puzzles form a message.
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Washed-up rock star Lee Pace has done everything, seen everything, fucked everything. His manager despairs, and begs him to attend a retreat in Sonoma, California. He goes to Sonoma, but never makes it to the retreat once he meets gregarious, no-nonsense pâtissier, Colin Farrell, and his irascible veterinarian wife, Julia Styles.
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Michele Pfeiffer is a witch who accidentally gives a customer’s love potion to her downstairs neighbor, Michael Keaton. She doesn’t know that her apprentice, Saorise Ronan, messed up the batch, and it was a dud. Now he’s wooing her, and she thinks it’s all fake (except it’s totally working).
Paul Rudd and Ryan Reynolds play two hotshot detectives who hooked up at last year’s Christmas party. They swore that it would only happen once and that they’d keep things casual. Now that they’ve landed the case of their careers, they’ll have to work together and keep things professional or risk losing it all.
Rosario Dawson is a high-powered lawyer who doesn’t know when to take a break. After a health scare, her boss orders her to find a way to de-stress. She resents it, but when she meets doctor Lupita Nyong-o in her yoga class, she’s a little less resentful. Can they find room in their lives for love?
Betty White is an eccentric wealthy lady with no heirs. After her lawyer (Anne Hathaway) refuses to be her heir -“It would be totally unethical and unprofessional, Ms Holloway”-, she picks a random name from a phone book.
Since phone books aren’t a thing since 80′s, the person chosen is Aldis Hodge’s granma (Nichelle Nichols). He is a social activist (#blacklivesmatter #OccupyWallStreet) so he is not exactly happy being now part of the 1%.
Shenanigans ensue when the old ladies decide to play matchmakers.
(At some point we have Robbie Williams singing Everlasting Love accompanied by New York Philharmonic Orchestra on Central Park)
I think my favourite things about this post are all the different gender pairings, and all the different age pairings
Also, can someone link those posts about Dwayne Jonson and Vin Diesel the bakers / florists?
buddy cop movie with hayley atwell and idris elba as unlikely partners and dwayne the rock johnson AND Vin Diesel as the bakery owners who witnesses a violent crime in the alley behind hisTHEIR shop and have to be protected (OP source)
All of these are better than anything Hollywood has produced in years
Betty White and Nichelle Nichols as matchmaking grandmas? I… I didn’t know how much I needed to see this.
HOW has no one yet asked for Oscar Isaac as the tender, earnest star pastry chef who’s come home to Brooklyn after some kind of unspecified personal melodrama and decides to open a bakery employing local at-risk youth, catching the eye of down-on-her-romantic-luck human interest reporter slash blogger who recently weathered a melodrama of her own (possibly causing an intense rivalry with her ex, Melissa Fumero), Lupita Nyong’o?
I’d like to suggest the addendum, “Betty White and Nichelle Nichols as matchmaking grandmas WHO THEMSELVES FALL IN LOVE.”
omg ys pls
one of these days i need to finish my romance novel about a showrunner falling for the Canadian love interest best known for being allergic to shirts that the female lead of her TV series (who is also her college roommate) insists they add to their hit series (about a former insurance investigator married to a former cat burgler and together they fight crime) which is a successful spin-off from a successful spin-off because she’s a) bored and b) just got a producer credit and the show’s 100th episode is hurtling toward them at speed.
picture Tina Fey meeting cute Chris Evans on the studio lot tour only to find out he’s the network’s pick for Mía Maestro’s sexy new police contact because Matt Bomer who plays her husband is preoccupied with the adoption he and his husband are in the middle of.
Ohshit, I was just reading an entry on Reddit, about how the OP wanted to see a genderbent version of “Romancing the Stone,” with Hiddleston as the sniffly genre writer, and Tessa Thompson as the adventurer. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, indeed!
Children playing with Barbies in media:“This is Sally. She’s the mommy. She loves fashion, swimming, and she drives a convertible! She has a baby with Ken and sometimes they kiss.” OR “Look, I ripped Barbie’s head off! Ha ha ha! I’m a boy.”
Children playing with Barbies in real life: “This is Aurora, the fallen goddess of the sky. She has been banished from her kingdom and bound to a mortal body by her sister, who rose to power by human sacrifices. She now leads an army of cannibal water spirits who eat men. Sometimes they have orgies. They dismembered a traitor and keep her head on a Popsicle stick as a warning to others. Aurora can turn into a wolf and uses battle magic to paralyze her enemies. The king of the stuffed animals developed rabies and she had to slay him to save his people, but they do not understand that it was an act of mercy and kindness and are sending assassins after her for regicide. This is Aurora’s soulmate, Crystal, but her soul is trapped in a gemstone while an evil spirit pilots her body and attempts to murder her friends.”
action movie about a guy who pretends to be a hitman and does the whole “25% up front and the rest when the job is done” thing but then just keeps the down payment, doesn’t kill anybody, and stops responding to the client’s calls, knowing that they can’t sue him for breach of contract without confessing to trying to hire a hitman. problem is now a lot of people who are comfortable with the concept of paying someone to kill someone else are mad at him
none of his former clients know his real identity, due to him using a fresh fake for each con, so he decides that his only hope of making it out of this mess unscathed is to land the inevitable contract for his own assassination and fake his own death. thus begins his deadly race against the clock and against other actual bounty hunters, former clients, and a smoldering ex lover, whom he must betray, persuade or kill. darknet: the catfish bounty
Someone make a movie please.
Just send me 25% of the funding up front and the rest when I deliver the completed movie. I’ve got a kickstarter and
so at the bar in which I work, there’s an unofficial rule that all of our door staff must have names that start with D or rhyme with ‘doorman’, which has led to me befriending a trio of six foot four men with beards called Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan.
now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the absolute love of my life. I don’t care that he’s a decade older than me and has a fiance. you know when someone is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they’re simply referred to as ‘a character’? that’s Doorman Dan. now, before I get into his personality, let’s describe his appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scandinavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now, add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper.
that’s Doorman Dan.
since meeting him last year, I’ve discovered:
he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that said ‘shit happens’ on his left arsecheek, so when he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called Junkie Jeff at 9AM
he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months while he was in the army, and was completely unaware they had broken up until he wished her a happy Christmas and she responded with ‘what the fuck Dan’
accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for thirty-six hours
he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay, and instead of jumping in and fighting back he decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out and ran off
he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a month for ‘mystery adventures’, one of which has resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed inside any John Lewis shops
he is convinced the love of his life is not his fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: “I’ll know when I meet him.”
he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless they follow him
his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even proposed. “I don’t even know if I’m invited, truth be told.”
when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he didn’t want to intrude so he just gently knocked on the door and asked if they’d like a snack
he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail called Doorman’s Sunrise because he feels left out being the only person on the dance floor without a drink when he’s patrolling the bar
I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him
I want Terry Crews and Vin Diesel to do a buddy cop movie where they are both secret nerds but they don’t want the other to know. Like Vin Diesel plays D & D on weekends and Terry likes to create epic crossover fan art. Somehow they have to work undercover at Comic Con and for what ever reason I need Daniel Radcliffe to be the villain.
I’d like to add: not a character played by Dan Radcliffe. Dan Radcliffe, appearing as himself.
no, no wait… I want Elijah Wood to play Daniel Radcliffe.
Elijah Wood plays Daniel Radcliffe and his evil sidekick is Elijah Wood played by Daniel Radcliffe
Fake Film Meme – Olivia Colman stars as the young Agent Mansfield in this Bond spinoff, as Dench’s M is forced to deal with the repercussions of actions she took many years ago.
Steel Phoenix Studios 