my opinions on racism will always be limited as I’m from a position of white privilege, so whilst it’s so important to call out racial inequality and oppression when I see it, it’s also important for me to recognise that my voice should not shout over those who have actually experienced racism and have a far better understanding of how it operates then I ever will
“Imagine having a child that refuses to hug you or even look you in the eyes”
Imagine being shamed, as a child, for not showing affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being forced, as a child, to show affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being told, as a child, that your ways of expressing affection weren’t good enough. Imagine being taught, as a child, to associate physical affection with pain and coercion.
As a preschool special ed para, this is very important to me. All my kids have their own ways of showing affection that are just as meaningful to them as a hug or eye contact is to you or me.
One gently squeezes my hand between both of his palms as he says “squish.” I reciprocate. When he looks like he’s feeling sad or lost, I ask if I can squish him, and he will show me where I can squish him. Sometimes it’s almost like a hug, but most of the time, it’s just a hand or an arm I press between my palms. Then he squishes my hand in return, says “squish,” and moves on. He will come ask for squishes now, when he recognizes that he needs them.
Another boy smiles and sticks his chin out at me, and if he’s really excited, he’ll lean his whole body toward me. The first time he finally won a game at circle time, he got so excited he even ran over and bumped chins with me. He now does it when he sees me outside of school too. I stick out my chin to acknowledge him, and he grins and runs over and I lean down for a chin bump.
Yet another child swings my hand really fast. At a time when another child would be seeking a hug, she stands beside me and holds my hand, and swings it back and forth, with a smile if I’m lucky. The look on her face when I initiate the hand swinging is priceless.
Another one bumps his hip against mine when he walks by in the hallway or on the playground, or when he gets up after I’m done working with him. No eye contact, no words, but he goes out of his way to “crash” into me, and I tell him that it’s good to see him. He now loves to crash into me when I’m least expecting it. He doesn’t want anything, really. Just a bump to say “Hi, I appreciate you’re here.” And when he’s upset and we have to take a break, I’ll bump him, ask if he needs to take a walk, and we just go wander for a bit and discuss whatever’s wrong, and he’s practically glued to my side. Then one more bump before we go back into the room to face the problem.
Moral of the story is, alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as traditional affection. Reciprocating alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as returning a hug. That is how you build connections with these children.
This is so goddamn important.
I verbally express affection. A LOT.
My husband… doesn’t. I don’t know why. For the longest time part of me wondered if it meant he loved me less.
At some point I told him about a thing I had done as a kid. Holding hands, three squeezes means ‘I Love You’.
Suddenly he’s telling me I Love You all the time.
Holding my hand, obviously, but also randomly.
taptaptap
on my hand, my shoulder, my butt, my knee, whatever body part is closest to him, with whatever part of him is closest to me
All the time.
More often than I ever verbally said it.
It’s an ingrained signal now, I can tap three times on whatever part of him, and get three taps back in his sleep. Apparently I do the same.
This article contains the phone numbers and links to Twitter accounts of the eight undecided senators. Get in touch with them and make your voice heard, even if you don’t live in any of their states.
hey so it’s march now aka the beginning of endometriosis awareness month and i feel obligated to remind you that debilitatingly painful periods are not normal. if you or someone you know is ending up sick or bedridden every month, you are not crazy and deserve medical attention from someone who will take you seriously
hey it’s march again let’s get this post circulating again
Sure. I had to get a partial hysterectomy due to fucking Endometriosis at age 28. It’s a minor miracle that I have children at all because the symptoms were *immediately* apparent when my periods began at age 12, but they were ignored by my parents (who told me I was faking while I lay in bed crying from the pain) and ignored by most medical professionals until I self-diagnosed at age 23 and got back on the birth control. I STILL was only pro-diagnosed after my first c-section when they could see the evidence of it while yanking my first kid out of my womb. I still couldn’t get treated for it until after I’d had my second child, after which my uterus began eating itself due to the Endometriosis. Oh, and my fallopian tubes were backflooding with blood because of it, so those had to be yanked along with my uterus.
This is enough. Ajit Pai has already succeded MULTIPLE TIMES and you can expect the full removal of net neutrality on APRIL 23RD OF THIS YEAR. We can still contact our senators, we can still fight as hrd as we can, but even though 23 states are suposedly suing for the repeal of this, we need to help it along.
In case people forgot what Net Neutrality is: it is a series of laws that ensure everyone free and fair access to the internet. Without them, you will be charged for the sites you use on top of an already high internet bill. This means creators like us cannot post and be seen. Thia means that smaller schools will havebto switch to out of date text books. This means that starter IT projects that could make our lives better will die because noone can support an online presence that noone can afford to see.
And the list goes on and on and on. I have frienda who have to make their livings through commissions and working online because of multiple health issues. I have friends trying to publish books, post art, post voice acting snippets that will not be seen without these laws.
Please support Net Neutrality and contact your senators!!! This is so important to everyone you know, AND WE JUST NEED ONE SENATOR TO TURN THE TIDE!!!
And if you’re afraid of the power Trump already wields, hear this: if we don’t show up in the midterms, the Republicans could get a supermajority in the Senate. That means no ability to filibuster. No recourse. No way to stop them.
We’ve got to make sure the blue states stay blue and try to turn some of those red states blue as well. Don’t count your state out just because it usually votes Republican. Historically, midterms have way lower turnouts than presidential election years. So lets actually show up this time and do some damage.
Oh, and one hopeful note, all the House seats are up for reelection. So let’s take that shit away from Donald Trump and his Republican Party.
Also, remember to vote in local elections! Keep track of when they are, the candidates, and make sure you stay informed on local and state politics. We have to show up in 2018, and at every. Single. Thing.
I dont like adding things but this needs to be said: DO NOT ASSUME THAT THERE WILL BE A HIGH DEMOCRATIC TURNOUT. Do not think that “oh EVERYONE else will show up to vote, I dont have to” Do not do that. Because trust me you wouldn’t be the only person thinking that. Now, if everyone assumes it’ll be a high turn out so they dont go, then nobody goes. Assume always that your vote will be the tipping point, assume that your vote is necessary and needed (because guess what: it absolutely is). Go vote. Keep track of the dates. And just go do it.
Register to vote. Check that you’re registered even if you think you are, even if you (like me) have voted in every election since you were old enough to do so. And then do it.
If you can, volunteer to drive people to the polls.
Steel Phoenix Studios 