I’m probably going to get a lot of hate for this, but here goes nothing:
In the midst of everything going on in the world right now, in the midst of all of the amazingly important fights being fought for incredibly essential causes, can we please, please, please take a bit of a step back from the “future is female” rhetoric, or at least take a serious, hard introspective look at the ways it’s incredibly binary and gender essentialist (and often cyclically misogynist) itself?
It absolutely crushes me that I feel like I’ve had an incredibly hard time participating in recent vital social conversations, but every time I see rhetoric used like “if only girls ruled the world, we would already have world peace,” I can’t help but recoil a bit. If by “the future is female,” you mean that you’re campaigning for a world where we don’t need to even have conversations anymore about equal rights regardless of gender, I am with you more than I can express, and please keep on fighting, and I’ll keep on fighting right beside you even harder. But so often, that doesn’t seem like what’s meant by “the future is female,” or at least it’s not how it’s coming across, always.
“If girls ruled the world, we would already have world peace” is not feminism, full stop. End of debate.
It’s Ryan-Gosling-feminism-lite, where women are special snowflake beings of pure virginal light who no man could ever hope to hold a candle to the moral piety of. It’s a slippery slope to the view that gender roles are essential and innate, so that men can hold doors open for women and always pay the bill at the restaurant out of chauvinistic chivalry. It’s a slippery slope to propping up the white, middle-class, straight, Christian, enforced-picket-fence-child-rearing-nuclear-family-unit kyriarchy just as hard on our side as on theirs.
It’s more of the same “girls girls girls are just the bestest and so soft and sweet and wonderful and made of sunshine and flowers and rainbows and unicorn sparkles and hair braiding while giggling drunkenly in a bathroom at a party” that turns all possible relationships between women into bestie BFF friendship bracelet making therapy sessions, which is especially erasive of the queer female experience, and more broadly, female sexuality, and more broadly even than that, female productive and creative energy in general, and its ability to exist outside of the presence of a man. It’s horrifically TERF-y and makes trans boys and other nonbinary individuals (including all the ones out there in red-state middle America who will never have the words and safe space to say that out loud or to identify that that’s what the unease inside them is) internalize a shit ton of self-hatred that maybe their identity is only a product of their internalized misogyny. It’s horrifically white feminist, see: the white female election vote debacle.
It’s incredibly erasive of the complexity of women as, you know.
People.
Not pure virginal white light vessels or soft unicorn rainbow sparkle hair-braiders or moon children witches with a special connection to mother earth or sassy bad bitches doing it for the sisterhood or whatever other ways we as feminists make ourselves into one dimensional stereotypes all on our own.
Fuck that noise.
Women are humans.
Listen: I’ve unfortunately known a lot of shitty, abusive, toxic people in my life. And a great deal of them were women, since as full and proper humans and not emblems of pure middle-school-BFF white light, women have the capacity inside them to be terrible, or wonderful, or terrible and wonderful all at once. And while our society at large so often excuses terrible men for heinous acts, which is the entire point of so many conversations happening right now, our society also so often pretends that – in ways that all stem back to misogyny just the same – equally terrible women just don’t exist full stop.
And that lets terrible women slip under the radar and hide under the sheepskin of the patriarchy. That allows us, in liberal social justice conversation circles, to decry the actions of a violent abusive man as an emblem of everything that’s wrong with the patriarchy, but too often, when a woman (especially a white, able-bodied, gender-presentation-conforming, physically attractive one) takes equally violent actions, we prop it up as the “sisterhood” finally getting “karmic justice” on the patriarchy, which isn’t any better than female rapists and pedophiles being tongue-tutted at with a wink by grown men as “naughty naughty girls” their fourteen-year-old libidos wish they had as a high school teacher. That allows – in something I’ve personally experienced in my life, and I know I can’t be the only one – for judicial and law enforcement officials, social workers and children’s services employees, and so many others in positions of authority across the country to dismiss cases of female-on-female violence as something that can surely be hugged out over a good talk and a cup of tea.
That so often allows us to not recognize, not even know how to begin to recognize, abusive behavior when it comes from a source with a body our society genders as female. Especially when that abuse is being directed at another person with a body recognized as female, especially if that abuse isn’t the kind we societally gender as masculine (physical force, neglect, aggression) but is the kind we gender as feminine (emotional and psychological abuse, hypersurveillance, gaslighting). Especially if that relationship isn’t a sexual one where someone wears the lip gloss and someone has the buzz cut. Especially when that relationship is a parent/child(-of any gender) one where the “unending purity and graciousness of a mother’s love” allows unfathomable numbers of women to abuse children and get away with it completely unrecognized.
If conceptually reclaiming your womanhood (or, same at you, dude feminists, reclaiming the womanhood of people you love) in some way is important to you and your identity, that’s incredible, and I support you wholeheartedly with whatever you need to do for that. And it should go without stating that I’m 1000% onboard and then some with dismantling the garbage of the patriarchy that got us here to the hot mess that is 2017. And women’s marches and declarations of feminist identity and all are so unbelievably, unbearably important right now, in the face of so many civil rights dangers, and please don’t misinterpret that I’m advocating against them somehow.
But before you tangle up your “girls run the world” rhetoric into fighting this fight we’re right now, please stop and consider all the people who have been abused by terrible women, too. Please stop to consider what your strong independent white feminism is doing to women of color, queer women, the trans/nonbinary community, victims of female abusers, and others whose experiences are too intersectional to conform with a single idea of reclamative womanhood.
If women (exclusively, hierarchically, systematically, in isolation) ran the world, we wouldn’t have world peace – we’d probably be in just as much of a mess, albeit maybe in different ways, than we are right now, because people are people are people, full stop, end of debate.
Let’s all run the world together, please? That’s the only way it’s going to get any better.
Don’t despair: there are people who need you right now and there are easy ways you can help. Spoiler alert: put away your solidarity hijabs and safety pins. Watch the 5-minute video here.
Regina Brave, a survivor of Wounded Knee II in 1973, was released yesterday after being arrested for her actions standing up for treaty rights as police raided Oceti Sakowin.
Coming soon:MyTransHealth, an app connecting trans people to knowledgeable, reliable and affordable healthcare providers.
19% of trans people have been refused healthcare because of their gender identity. 50% of trans people have had to teach their doctors about trans-related medical care. 28% of trans people have been harassed in medical settings. This app is desperately needed. Follow them at mytranshealth.
I AM CRYING HOLY SHIT. This is so important. You know I’m serious because I am actually using these things called capitalization and punctuation. You guys. Please. Please boost the hell out of this. It means so much.
*SLAMS THE SHIT OUT OF THE REBLOG BUTTON*
omg pls make this international / not just US-centric!
We won’t rest until every trans person on the planet has access to safe, affordable, and reliable health care.
My brother works for Sesame Street with their touring shows. The day after the election, the company he works for decided they would not be able to keep the tours going because they were going to lose a significant amount of funding due to Trump’s presidency.
It’s happening now. Disney bought out all of the venues they usually go to and they couldn’t compete with the cost so he and his fiancee aren’t going to have jobs after they get married. This is officially the last set of tours by Sesame Street, indefinitely.
He and his fiancee don’t really know what they are going to do. They think they might move to Atlanta but, honestly, they’re going to have to go where they can find work. That’s part of being a freelancer and one of the reasons I had to get out of theatre (constantly being on the lookout for a job is mentally taxing).
It sucks that they’ll be starting their marriage like this.
The reason I posted this is because a while ago there was a lot of upset about Sesame Street airing shows on HBO a week earlier for kids whose family can afford HBO. And people were so disappointed with Sesame Street for agreeing to that.
But, like, honestly, Sesame Street is struggling and has been for a while. Their agreement deal with HBO was a good thing. Sesame Street’s funding is dying and I will be really shocked if it survives the next four years or remains publicly available. The people in power don’t want Sesame Street to exist. It teaches kids empathy and kindness and thoughtfulness. It exposes kids to diversity and teaches them openness and caring about others, which is exactly what fascists DON’T want. It’s exactly what CONSERVATIVES don’t want.
Sesame Street is dying and it will be a goddamn miracle if lasts through the next four years.
In case anyone is curious, PBS has always taken donations. The federal government has always shortchanged them horrifically, and various shows have had to be saved in the past. Here’s a lineup of press releases from them that display the diversity of their underfunded original programming (because it’s basically all underfunded). There have been threats to Sesame Street before; we can overcome this. Part of that is making sure local partner stations remain in the black.
Financial statements for 2016 for PBS are not yet available, but several previous years’ financial statements are. It would take an accountant to read those statements properly, but the for-profit subsidiaries of PBS were paying 200+K and 300+K in corporate taxes respectively. That indicates they were probably turning a small profit in those years. However, I’m not sure such profits could cover Sesame Workshop’s potential losses.
Want to make a difference? Make a donation to your local PBS station or send a postcard to your Reps/Senators in Washington telling them you want funding for PBS left untouched. Or both! Both is good.
So this has been the news of Ireland for the past day. 796 remains of children where discarded and hidden away by the Bon Secours nuns in a septic tank on the grounds of an old “mother and babies” home in Tuam Co. Galway from sometime in the 1920s until the 1960s. These homes were common in Ireland to where unmarried mothers were sent to because they’ve brought shame on their family in the eyes of their religion.
I’d appreciate it if this was spread around on tumblr because many people don’t realise that this was what happened in this country. The General reaction from Irish folk was dismay and disgust and most importantly many were “not surprised” when this report’s findings were released. And The Catholic Church still has a stronghold on the country today.
And in unsurprising news the Irish pro-life groups and infamous spokespeople have been silent so far in condemning the actions and atrocities of the Catholic Church.
I’d add this comment, from a pissed off Irish bloke on fb:
^ these people covered up the deaths of born children in a septic tank but they are the moral authority on whether women can get rid of unwanted pregnancies?
I don’t read the news and I haven’t listened to the radio in the last few days so I’ve no idea if this has been widely reported in the British news, but this is the first I’d heard of it. I’ve done a bit of reading now. My mum grewup in C Cork, near Galway (where the grave was found), and was a teenager in Ireland in the 60s. The thought that getting pregnant, whether consensual or not, could have landed her in one of these places, and my resultant half-sibling in a septic tank grave, is horrifying.
It’s worth noting this is not the first time mass graves have been discovered attatched to former Mothers and Babies Homes and Magdalene Lanudaries. In 1993, 155 corpses were exhumed from a Sisters of Our Lady of Charity home in Dublin. In that case, even as the bodies were exhumed (the Sisters had sold the land to a property developer to recoup losses they’d made on the stock market, yes really) it was not reported. However, as word spread outrage did grow, leading to the enquiries and damning reports into these institutions later in the decade.
In the above more recent case, it was apparently fairly common knowledge locally that the site contained a mass grave since two boys stumbled across it in 1975. It’s horribly safe to assume that these two cases aren’t isolated and that there are many more mass graves in Ireland.
The children died of ‘natural’ causes, but neglect, malnutition and abuse hurried many on their way, or killed otherwise healthy children outright.
30 Days of Marvel | Favorite Quote ↳ Doesn’t matter what the press says. Doesn’t matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn’t matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world — “No, you move.”
a friend of mine is a science educator. not a classroom teacher – he does the kind of programs you see in museums, fun experiments with lasers and dry ice and shit.
yesterday, a young girl asked him why he was allowed to pour liquid nitrogen all over his own arm but he didn’t want her doing it. I braced myself for some dumb “well I’m an adult so I’m allowed” non-answer, but instead he surprised me by giving some of the best science (and life) advice I think you can give a young person:
“well, it’s one of those rules designed to keep you safe. and following the rules really can help you stay safe, but they’re not perfect. sometimes, usually because they’re too simple, the rules let you do things that aren’t safe, or don’t let you do things that are safe if you know how to do them. one of the reasons I’m good at what I do as a scientist is I try to understand how things work so I can figure out my own rules for keeping myself safe. and sometimes my rules are little more complicated than what I might hear from other people, but they work better for me. like, I let myself play with liquid nitrogen, but only in really specific ways that I’ve spent time practicing. you should follow the rules you’re given at first, but if you take the time to understand how things work, maybe you can make your own, better rules.”
I loved this response. it’s a great encapsulation of two really important things I think people need to learn and re-learn all the time: on the one hand, listen to genuine authority figures; when someone knows more than you about a subject, don’t treat their expertise as “just another opinion” and act like your ignorance is just as good as their knowledge. but on the other hand, don’t obey anything or anyone blindly. recognize that rules and systems and established ideas are never perfect. question things, educate yourself, question things more.
and then, of course, a parent had to butt in and spoil this wonderful lesson by saying:
“but not the rules mom comes up with!”
everyone in the room laughed. except me. I gave her a death glare I’m pretty sure she didn’t notice.
because no. no. your rules are not above reproach if you’re a parent. the thing about the dictates of genuine authority figures – people who deserve to have power, and to have their positions respected – is that they are open to question. genuine authority figures are accountable. governments can be petitioned and protested and recalled. doctors must respect patients’ right to a second opinion. journalists have jobs terminated and credentials revoked if they fail to meet standards of integrity and diligence. scientists, to bring us back full circle, spend their entire careers trying to disprove their own hypotheses! you know who insists on being treated as infallible? megalomaniacal dictators, that’s who. oh, and parents.
I’m beyond sick and tired of this “my house my rules, this family is not a democracy, I want my child to think critically and stand up for themselves except to me ha ha” bullshit. my friend gave this kid the kind of advice that doesn’t just help people become good scientists – if enough people adopt the mentality he put forth to that girl, that’s the kind of advice that helps societies value knowledge and resist totalitarianism. and her mother shut it down because, what, she didn’t want to deal with the inconvenience of having someone question her edicts about whose job it is to wash the dishes on Mondays?
we already know you’re more likely to be a Trump supporter if you’re an authoritarian parent – and that this is a stronger predictor of your views on the current president than age, religiosity, gender, or race. I’ll say this another way in case you didn’t catch the full meaning: people who believe in the absolute, unquestionable authority of parents are more than two and a half times as likely to support Trump as people who don’t, and that’s just among Republicans. we can’t afford to treat the oppressive treatment of children or the injustice of ageist power structures in our society as a sideshow issue any longer. the mentality that parents should be treated by their children as beyond reproach and above dispute is a social cancer that has metastasized into the man currently trying to destroy the foundations of democracy in this country.
in short: parents, get the hell over yourselves before you get us all killed. and kids, learn as much as you can, and then make your own rules.
Steel Phoenix Studios 