ultimately i think kindness is the most radical thing you can do with your pain and your anger. it’s like, you take everything awful that’s ever been done to you, and you throw it back in the world’s teeth, and you say no, fuck you, i’m not going to take this. you say this is unacceptable. you say that shit stops with me.
humans are fucking terrible and this awful world we live in will fucking kill you but if you are kind, if you are brave and clever and try really hard, you can defy it. you can impose on this bleak and monstrous structure something beautiful. even if it’s temporary. even if it doesn’t heal anything inside you that’s been hurt.
i’m gonna sleep and i’m gonna wake up and i swear by everything in this deadly horrible universe i’m gonna make someone happy.
i’ve seen a number of comments and tags where people feel that they must swallow or repress their anger in order to engage in kindness. that is not at all what i am recommending here. radical kindness is an expression of anger. it is not passive. it is not repressive. it does not require you, in any way, to forgive those that have fucked you up. it does not require you to be quiet.
it just requires that you be kind. viciously. vengefully. you fight back. you plant flowers. give to charity. play games. pet someone’s dog. scream into the dark. paint and write and dance, tell jokes, sing songs, bake cookies. you have been hurt and you don’t have to deny that hurt. you just have to recognize it in other people, and take their hand, and say: no more. enough. fuck this. no more.
have a cookie.
i will say this again: we are all going to die. the universe is enormous and almost entirely empty. to be kind to each other is the most incredible act of defiance against the dark that i can imagine.
i will say this again: we are all going to die. the universe is enormous and almost entirely empty. to be kind to each other is the most incredible act of defiance against the dark that i can imagine.
3. Two good quotes by Kurt Vonnegut: “Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the
winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve
got a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of,
babies-“God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”
And: “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do
not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your
sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may
disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”
Another good quote:
“I. THIS IS NOT A GAME.
II. HERE AND NOW, WE ARE ALIVE.”
You can be kind and fuel it with rage. You can be kind and fuel it with a bitter twist, or you can be kind and fuel your kindness with righteous anger, or you can be kind and fuel it with love or spite or ecstatic joy. And no matter what your fuel is, you still can make kindness happen in the world so that people can warm themselves by it.
Kindness isn’t an emotion, kids. That’s the thing. Kindness is action. Kindness is choosing to take your emotions and channel them towards doing the most good where you can; to choose the targets of your actions carefully; to spread a little joy behind you, when you have a little to spare.
Kindness can mean a gentle word or a shouted imperative. It can be a warm meal or a gentle hug or a clean death. Kindness can manifest in many ways, and not all of them are one hundred percent nice. The kind thing to do may be doing nothing at all.
But kindness is, above all else, an action. We are imperfect humans, and we cannot control our emotions–but we can control what we do as a result. We can control the actions that our emotions and experiences propel us to perform.
The darkness is nothing but the absence of light, you know. It is endless and nihilistic and all enveloping. A lit candle has no hope against it.
But if enough of us light small candles and little matches behind us as we walk through this wide, uncaring universe, we can light up that sky. We can take an empty world and we can fill it with each other.
That’s how we can take the bones of an empty universe and forge a warm hearth fire humanity can use to keep back the night.
But kindness is, above all else, an action. We are imperfect humans, and we cannot control our emotions–but we can control what we do as a result. We can control the actions that our emotions and experiences propel us to perform.
Good is a thing you do.
I dearly love everything about this, and fundamentally have faith in the power of kindness and the impact of compassion, so I’m grateful this post exists.
The “be soft” quote is one of my absolute favorite expressions of this concept, but because of that, I just want to clarify that it was written by Iain Thomas , and it very rarely is credited to him, and I think it’s meaningful to know where it came from, despite the fact that he isn’t a well-known author.
And to add to this a few more that are etched into my heart:
“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.” – Emily Dickinson
“kindness as a discipline. tenderness as a practice.” – Warsan Shire
and, fundamentally, essentially, this, though its exact source is somewhat of a mystery (certain places site excerpts of the Talmud, others paraphrased rabbinical teaching): “Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.”
The Judaic philosophy of Tikkun olam, or repairing/healing the world, has principles which I believe could be applied secularly by anyone who wishes to practice it, every day, in whatever way one can, even (perhaps especially) in the small, quiet acts. “The most modern and broadly understood notion of tikkun olam is that of “repairing the world” through human actions. Humanity’s responsibility to change, improve, and fix its earthly surroundings is powerful. It implies that each person has a hand in working towards the betterment of his or her own existence as well as the lives of future generations. Tikkun olam forces people to take ownership of their world. It is them, not G-d, who will bring the world back to its original state of holiness. More simply, it is important [to] participate in repairing the world by participating in tzedakah (justice and righteousness) and g’milut hasadim (acts of loving kindness). Without their stake in the improvement of their environment, injustice and evil will continue to exist.” (x)
It does not mean silence in the face of prejudice, it does not mean understanding towards violence or oppression. It does mean uplifting the hurting, it does mean hearing and defending the oppressed. It is not a relinquishing of anger, it is, as another comment above says, defiance, an action that cuts through the harms and the apathy and the weights the world can wield or lay upon us. It is an active choice, to know that we stand on a precipice, to look into and witness the dark, and to love relentlessly anyway, to be kind anyway, to light a candle that pushes back against it, to illuminate and warm whatever space you can, to exhibit tenderness, to raise your voice, to embrace the bright and all too ephemeral beauty and sweetness that can exist in the life (all types of life) around us. (love can ignite the stars. love cannot be killed or swept aside. have courage and be kind.)
The work is never finished. It never will be. We are not obligated to complete it, but we are not free to abandon it – choosing to move in love, in kindness, even with all our pain and fury, is an unwavering strength. The power is in our hands, our words, lives in the remnants of the stardust that traces our bones.
A sitcom about the modern Greek gods where everyone is wildly miscast
Zeus is played by Michael Cera
😂😂😂😂 Hephaestus is Nikolaj Coster-Waldau
@seerofbirds has cast Danny DeVito as Aphrodite and @qrowxiii has cast Eddie Murphy as Ares, so this is shaping up to be a pretty great TV pitch and if anyone from Hollywood is reading this, could you also consider casting Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson as Hermes and Christopher Walken as Apollo, thanks.
Hera is Oscar Isaac because are you really going to cheat on Oscar Isaac, Michael Cera? Really? You’d do that? You’d look at that man’s face and chase tail somewhere else, Michael Cera, you sack of shit?
I’m dying this is fantastic I NEED THE WHOLE CAST
Hades is Whoopi Goldberg and Persephone is Jeff Goldblum and Demeter is Julie Andrews. Their interplay makes up 70% of the film and is all improvised.
Athena is played by Amy Schumer (thanks anon!) and she defeats her enemies by being incredibly loud and annoying and plagiarising all their tactics and eventually they just give up in irritation. She only has 3 minutes of screen time and no dialogue. Thank fuck.
Heracles is played by Jesse Eisenberg because Michael Cera got to be Zeus. Sometimes they swap roles. No-one notices.
Poseidon is played by Daniel Craig but his only scene is when he reenacts the famous Bond scene with speedos.
Artemis is played by Robert Pattinson and all his lines are just slightly amended from Twilight. Dionysus is played by Helen Mirren. It is perhaps the only apt casting in the film.
To clarify, Hestia is absolutely played by Charles Dance, whose costume includes an apron which gets progressively dirtier throughout the series.
In the sitcom, which precedes the feature film and which focuses on certain myths every episode, Narcissus is played by John Goodman. Echo is played by Billy Crystal.
Other episodes include the story of Eros and Psyche, played respectively by Jane Fonda and Shirley MacLaine, the story of Daedalus and Icarus, played respectively by Reese Witherspoon and Laura Dern, and the story of Zeus overthrowing Cronus, in which Michael Cera as Zeus must defeat Cronus, as played by John Cena, in a battle of wits and muscle. Astonishingly, he wins.
this is all very good gud
but who is perseus and medusa? jason , Midas, circe, media, please I NEED TO KNOW
These are very important questions and I will answer them immediately.
Perseus and Medusa are played by Andy Samberg and Glenn Howerton. All their scenes together are just them one upping each other with improvised insults.
Jason and Medea are played by John Boyega and Meryl Streep, and all their scenes are so beautifully acted that they both get nominated for Oscars, despite the fact that one of Jason’s lines is “are you trying to fleece me out of the golden fleece?”, to which Medea replies “me, fleece you? Oh no, me dear.”
Midas is played by Steve Buscemi, obviously. For no discernible reason, everything he touches does not turn to gold, but copper alloy. This is possibly due to budget cuts. Due to their on screen chemistry, he bizarrely has several buddy cop style scenes with Jeff Goldblum’s Persephone.
Circe does not appear. If she did, she would be played by Audrey Hepburn, using that creepy CGI from the Galaxy adverts, but her estate refuse to give their permission.
Important updates:
(Anonymous suggests: Kelsey Asbille Chow playing Achilles, Michelle Obama is Thetis, Danny Trejo as Helen, Terry Crewes as Paris, and Adrien Brody as Hector. olvmpos says: Ganymede is played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, and regularly benchpresses Michael Cera.)
Hey @teashoesandhair I’m not saying that I felt inspired and sketched Whoopi Goldberg and Jeff Goldblum as Hades and Persephone but that’s exactly what I’m saying
OH GOD THIS IS PERFECTION. THANK YOU. JUST THANK YOU. PHENOMENAL.
YOU’RE WELCOME BUT ALSO PLEASE HELP COS I CAN’T STOP
THIS IS GOING TO BE THE POSTER FOR THE SERIES, YOU HEAR ME
I’m mad that people are just reblogging the first post here because YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON THE MOST INCREDIBLE ARTWORK YOU’LL EVER SEE
Okay, I gotta ask, who’s the Hyacinthus to Christopher Walken’s Apollo?
I can already hear Apollo’s relevant lines in Walken’s distinct cadence, but I wanna know who he’s cradling, devastated, while crying out in anguish and also pausing at all the wrong places.
What a great question, and it brings me absolute joy to reveal to you that it’s Jackie Chan. He does all his own stunts. There is only one stunt, and it’s him collapsing into Christopher Walken’s arms. For some reason, there are explosions.
@leftennant and I were just bemoaning the lack of rom coms out there in Hollywood and how it’s probably stimmying the careers of certain actors who would kill it in that niche.
This seems like such low hanging fruit being ignored. With relatively low budgets you can afford the occasional failure compared to the thud Justice League just made. If you picked a random group of ten women and asked them to brainstorm ideas they’d come up with solid ideas to be spun into box office gold.
Per example:
Kat Dennings is the quirky girl trekking across New Zealand following her lifelong love of all things Tolkein. She meets Chris Evans and dismisses him as a frat bro, but it’s love at first sight for him. Can he persuade her he’s the real deal?
Of course he can. I’m still buying a ticket to this.
Hayley Atwell has to resist the charms of Sebastian Stan for 30 days to win a million dollars. But if he can persuade her to kiss him, he wins the million dollars. Who’s going to win? Can she resist him?
Who gives a fuck, we know there’s going to be a kiss and they’ll split the money, just take my money already.
Daisy Ridley and Tessa Thompson are stranded in an airport during a blizzard and have nothing to do but get to know each other.
I don’t even need you to tell me the plot of this one, because I already booked my seat.
Tell me Tumblr–what rom com ideas would you like to see and who would star in them?
America Ferrera needs a date to her family’s insane holiday party, so she puts out an ad on Craigslist for a bad boyfriend, so they’ll never ask her about him again. Tom Hardy is the bad boy she hires. Only, he’s actually pretty sweet.
–
Marisa Tomei is doing great as a single mom. She just closed a huge deal at her job, and her kid is surprisingly chill for a teenager, from what she’s read. Enter: her ex, Gerard Butler, freshly transferred back to NYC from London, and still in love with her. Can she admit she’s still in love with him?
–
Matt Bomer hates visiting Middle America on his book tours, even though he loves his fans. That is, until he attends a panel discussion where the moderator is local celebrity writer, Channing Tatum.
I was talking about having them do a remake of Harry met Sally but with Melissa McCarthy as Harry and Mindy Kaling as Sally.
mads mikkelson: contemporary incarnation of aphrodite.
Idris Elba does yoga in very small shorts. No one cares about the plot.
Alternatively: Mads Mikkelson and Idris Elba. Something something…IDK we’re all going to watch it, aren’t we?
And this addition from @anais-ninja-blog which Tumbles is trying to eat:
Ewan MacGregor as the drama teacher at a private school in Manhattan who is feuding with but secretly pines for Chiwetel Ejiofor, the music teacher. Their school is undergoing a shift in curricula and there’s debate on the place of the arts, will they save their programs? Will they get together in the end? We all KNOW the answer is yes, but don’t you want to see it happen regardless?
Nicole Beharie and Tom Mison as bounty hunters after the same target. They have completely different styles and end up teaming up to bring their quarry down. Will they learn to get along, even fall in love?
I mean, did you see the chemistry they had together in Sleepy Hollow?
Aubrey Plaza inherits her free-spirited grandmother’s ‘67 Mustang. Eager for a change of scenery after a gnarly break up, she travels cross-country to pick it up and drive it home.
She gets more than she bargained for when she discovers that it’s haunted by Grandma’s ghost (Ellen Burstyn) and Grandma won’t rest until she gets her granddaughter some action.
When Grandma still hasn’t passed over, they set out for the Grand Canyon on the road trip of her dreams. A flat tire and a mysterious but helpful hitchhiker (Jason Momoa) later and something, something romance.
Working title: Granny’s Last Gas.
A successful attorney (Taraji P. Henson) wins surfing lessons in a charity raffle and after everyone she knows agrees that she could never do it, she decides that she’s got to learn.
Her instructor’s a washed up pro (Chris Hemsworth) with a fear of water after taking on more wave than he could handle in a catastrophe that nearly cost him everything.
After she’s challenged by a group of local punks to compete in an upcoming contest, Chris decides to face his fears and commits to helping her win.
They discover that they have more in common than they expected as her determination helps him to fall in love with surfing all over again.
Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds in a remake (again) of the Parent Trap.
–
Donald Glover is a bored, jaded former-wunderkind. Zoe Saldanais the enforcer sent to rough him up for using his skills against a mob-run casino. She completes her “errand,” but when he’s in the hospital, recovering, someone starts sending him complex math puzzles. The puzzles form a message.
–
Washed-up rock star Lee Pace has done everything, seen everything, fucked everything. His manager despairs, and begs him to attend a retreat in Sonoma, California. He goes to Sonoma, but never makes it to the retreat once he meets gregarious, no-nonsense pâtissier, Colin Farrell, and his irascible veterinarian wife, Julia Styles.
–
Michele Pfeiffer is a witch who accidentally gives a customer’s love potion to her downstairs neighbor, Michael Keaton. She doesn’t know that her apprentice, Saorise Ronan, messed up the batch, and it was a dud. Now he’s wooing her, and she thinks it’s all fake (except it’s totally working).
Paul Rudd and Ryan Reynolds play two hotshot detectives who hooked up at last year’s Christmas party. They swore that it would only happen once and that they’d keep things casual. Now that they’ve landed the case of their careers, they’ll have to work together and keep things professional or risk losing it all.
Rosario Dawson is a high-powered lawyer who doesn’t know when to take a break. After a health scare, her boss orders her to find a way to de-stress. She resents it, but when she meets doctor Lupita Nyong-o in her yoga class, she’s a little less resentful. Can they find room in their lives for love?
Betty White is an eccentric wealthy lady with no heirs. After her lawyer (Anne Hathaway) refuses to be her heir -“It would be totally unethical and unprofessional, Ms Holloway”-, she picks a random name from a phone book.
Since phone books aren’t a thing since 80′s, the person chosen is Aldis Hodge’s granma (Nichelle Nichols). He is a social activist (#blacklivesmatter #OccupyWallStreet) so he is not exactly happy being now part of the 1%.
Shenanigans ensue when the old ladies decide to play matchmakers.
(At some point we have Robbie Williams singing Everlasting Love accompanied by New York Philharmonic Orchestra on Central Park)
I think my favourite things about this post are all the different gender pairings, and all the different age pairings
Also, can someone link those posts about Dwayne Jonson and Vin Diesel the bakers / florists?
buddy cop movie with hayley atwell and idris elba as unlikely partners and dwayne the rock johnson AND Vin Diesel as the bakery owners who witnesses a violent crime in the alley behind hisTHEIR shop and have to be protected (OP source)
All of these are better than anything Hollywood has produced in years
Betty White and Nichelle Nichols as matchmaking grandmas? I… I didn’t know how much I needed to see this.
HOW has no one yet asked for Oscar Isaac as the tender, earnest star pastry chef who’s come home to Brooklyn after some kind of unspecified personal melodrama and decides to open a bakery employing local at-risk youth, catching the eye of down-on-her-romantic-luck human interest reporter slash blogger who recently weathered a melodrama of her own (possibly causing an intense rivalry with her ex, Melissa Fumero), Lupita Nyong’o?
I’d like to suggest the addendum, “Betty White and Nichelle Nichols as matchmaking grandmas WHO THEMSELVES FALL IN LOVE.”
omg ys pls
one of these days i need to finish my romance novel about a showrunner falling for the Canadian love interest best known for being allergic to shirts that the female lead of her TV series (who is also her college roommate) insists they add to their hit series (about a former insurance investigator married to a former cat burgler and together they fight crime) which is a successful spin-off from a successful spin-off because she’s a) bored and b) just got a producer credit and the show’s 100th episode is hurtling toward them at speed.
picture Tina Fey meeting cute Chris Evans on the studio lot tour only to find out he’s the network’s pick for Mía Maestro’s sexy new police contact because Matt Bomer who plays her husband is preoccupied with the adoption he and his husband are in the middle of.
Ohshit, I was just reading an entry on Reddit, about how the OP wanted to see a genderbent version of “Romancing the Stone,” with Hiddleston as the sniffly genre writer, and Tessa Thompson as the adventurer. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, indeed!
so I’ve got this headcanon that Guardians of the Galaxy is really the Avengers playing a table top roleplaying game, where Bucky’s the DM who suffers through heaps and loads of trolling
Mostly from Steve
Especially from Steve
Which means Natasha was the one who sat down and wrote out the long, comprehensive backstory for her kickass space assassin Gamora, that Bucky keeps trying to work into the campaign but they keep getting sidetracked by –
Tony who just created what he sees himself as – the suave, wise-cracking space vagabond.
Thor who needed a lot of help building his character and decided on a couple easy to remember traits (Strong, honor, doesn’t get metaphors)
and Bruce who’s actually too busy to pay full attention so any time Bucky asks what he wants to do he just says “I am Groot” and lets Steve decide
Oh my god.
Headcanon accepted so hard
now in light of GOTG2
Sam joined in last minute so Bucky gave him a pre-rolled NPC That no one really cared for just to mess with him. Sam actually put a lot of thought into it though and managed to turn Yandu into a loveable character. (imagine Sam throwing a critical saving throw then excitedly yelling “I’M MARY POPPINS Y’ALL”)
Bruce, after making a sacrifice play at the end of the last session (hoping this would get him out of future game nights so he could focus on work) had to star over even though he insisted on keeping the same character. Baby Groot was the compromise.
Clint, who at first refused to join in something so ‘nerdy’ was convinced (forced) to participate by Natasha. Since he had no experience Bucky set him up and gave him Nebula. Clint then proceeded to screw with Natasha the entire night.
Wanda, wanting to reflect her experience of coming to america and suddenly facing unknown culture, plays Mantis.
Four roommates are extraterrestrials who have taken human form in the hopes of learning about Earth’s culture. Unfortunately, each alien is from a different planet and believes the other three are normal humans.
I would read this
OH MY GOD
Starring Jack Black, The Rock, Jeff Goldblum and Taika Waititi
And Mads Mikkelsen, the human neighbour that is weird enough that all the aliens think he’s an alien too.
they all are sure hes an alien and will go talk to him about how hard it is being an alien on earth, will even talk really frankly to him about it, but weirdly no matter what they say hes always like ‘oh yeah i can relate’
It got about a thousand times better than the last time I reblogged this I think.
They find each other because one of them puts up an ad for PERFECLY NORMAL HUMAN ROOMMATES NEEDED and none of them know enough about earth culture to realize how weird that is
my favorite thing about this is that each of them is walking in a different direction, it’s like these girls are off to conquer the entire goddamn world
They’re gonna meet in the middle
In the middle they will find the avatar, master of all elements and the force:
And this is how The End is stopped. Not by the gods or goddesses, the other races than man, no. It is Tumblr. As a mass running after a now confused and tail tucking Fenrir, whining softly as the crowd chants “PUPPER! PUPPER! PUPPER!”
Better yet: Fenrir escapes his chains and lopes forward to destroy the earth, and is met by a crowd of people. An army, Fenrir thinks, and bares his teeth in a ferocious snarl and charges toward them.
They cheer.
Wait … cheer?
Fenrir slows, confused. He smells no fear, senses no rage. This is … a very strange army.
The first hand—weaponless!—reaches for him; he tenses, ready to tear the offending limb to shreds, and lets out a high little yippy whine when it pats him about the ears.
Immediately the noise is reproduced by some four or five of the nearest humans; he smells excitement; more hands are patting him.
It’s nice.
The humans crowd around him, patting him and scritching him and shuffling around to give others a chance. Voices coo, and make puppy noises, and someone catches just the right spot and he cocks his leg and scratches himself, drawing a multitude of oohs and ahhs and cheers and squees.
At some point, his hunger awakens at the scent of burnt flesh; a human has brought him what he later learns is a hot dog; he swallows it in one bite, to more cheering, and looks around hopefully for more.
It is not long before more is bought: steaks and Big Macs and bacon; it seems like much of the group has brought him a snack of some kind and was hoping for a chance to give it to him.
The End of the World is supposed to be at hand, but Fenrir does not care. His hunger sated, his battle-lust swept away by a tide of gently petting hands, he rolls over, careful not to crush his many companions, and takes a nap.
“Who’s a good boy?” they ask him, over and over.
Is this some psychological warfare, he wonders, designed to undermine his confidence and remind him that he is nothing more than a monster who needs to be chained?
“Who’s a good boy, huh, huh?” “Who’s my good boy?” “
And then one of them answers the question for him.
“You are!”
‘Me?’ he thinks. But if there was any doubt, she confirms it.
“You are, yes you are.”
Fenrir’s tongue hangs out of his mouth as he grins. ‘I’m a good boy!’
This would work. Fenrir was betrayed by gods that he trusted; they feared his strength and tricked him into accepting being bound because he trusted Tyr, his friend. (Loki was not directly involved in selling out his own son; usually Loki is involved any time someone gets tricked by the Aesir, but it’s notable that he was not, here.) The deal was that Tyr would put his arm in Fenrir’s mouth to prove that the gods were acting in good faith when they tied Fenrir up to “let him prove he could break the chain”; when he couldn’t break the chain, the gods refused to free him, and Fenrir bit Tyr’s arm off, because that was the deal.
So Fenrir has a serious rageboner going on against the Aesir and all of creation; that’s why he wants to eat the sun and end existence. A huge number of humans validating him, praising him, petting him and giving him yummy treats might actually convince him that, while the Aesir are still assholes and would deserve it if he ate them, he should not eat the sun because Midgardians are totally cool and give him petties.
The commentator narrating the pup’s moves with the ball is AMAZING and I’m crying
“(…) right, but he decides to kick the ball. He gets close, and who grabs it? The Friend(dog)! Yes! A pup got into the field. He’s tied to it. He puts it under his paws and shows what football was missing in the Gasometro (field’s name). The [team]’s men want to grab him, but they cant! The Friend has his eyes on the ball. He runs to find it again. Yes! He bites! He kneads! He wants it close! He gets lost, he’s so happy! Castro (player) wants to kick his Corner but he can’t. He tells the pup “enough, enough, go over there”… however *commentator laughs*, there’s the pup! When he puts it on the floor, [the dog] goes again for the ball. And of course, as any skilled man, wants it all for himself. A bit of an over-eater, this pup. And he clearly has shown conditions / talent. [The team] found the way to the goal thanks to the Pichicho’s (little dog) essential input…. who, of course, as any protagonist had his place at [the tv show].“
*camera switches to interview where dog barks and mounches on the reporter’s mic (who allows him do it)*
I’ve been watching Argentinean football all my life and I can confirm this is the best to ever happen on a match.
The only acceptable reason for this is if this character is actually a demon who seduces men and then eats them. [source]
who wrote this, expose him
my breasts are nicely separated. Completely divided, every year they move apart by half an inch.
My breasts are nicely separated though they still fight for custody of the children.
I,,a woman,,,am WiDeR LOweR dOwN
That was difficult to read.
So ugly
My name is Ebony D’arkness Dementia Raven Way, and my breasts are nicely separated
OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT AND HOW ON EARTH DID IT GET PUBLISHED
You can always tell when it’s a man writing a description because they focus oddly on the breasts. There will always be something about breasts and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read historical or fantasy fiction and they talk about “her breasts hanging freely under her tunic” or what the fuck ever and it’s like…women don’t do that? We don’t describe ourselves by saying “I have blonde hair and blue eyes and my breasts hang freely under my tunic”. I kind of feel like we should counter by awkwardly mentioning all male character’s balls in their description. It’s kind of in the same vein.
“I have auburn hair and hazel eyes and my copious nicely separated balls hangs freely under my breeches”
G E T W I D E R L O W E R D O W N
“To get back to my body”
This is the first time I saw this post with art and I am in tears.
Reblogging again because IT HAS BEEN ILLUSTRATED NOW 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Im actually laughing so hard omg
This is so much better with pictures! That harpy looks gooooooood!
JFC, Michaeangelo wasn’t this bad at women and his idea of “sculpt a girl” was sticking some apple-shaped tits on a body he’d modelled after a man, and at least HE had the excuse of being gay and not giving a fuck
Steel Phoenix Studios 