im deadass just going to write a fic where kent parson quits hockey and moves to like a small fishing village in iceland or some shit where nobody knows him, he gets to heal his body and look at the beautiful scenery, and he spends his hockey fortune on fresh produce and fishing attire, stops drinking, learns to love himself and love life, separates himself from homophobic teammates and public who don’t care for him, and falls in love with a nice icelandic man who treats him right and cares for him deeply, whom he doesn’t have to hide from the public bc he’s not famous here and everyone loves him in their small fishing village
Tag: kent parson
ugh ugh ugh.
please consider that kent so desperately wanted jack to come to the aces, because he knows jack is bi and wanted someone who knew who he really was. who he knew he could trust.
consider kent sitting at bar, listening to his teammates make homphobic remarks around him while watching his stanley cup winning ex publicly kiss his boyfriend surrounded by his ally teammates.
kind teammates on the team that kent trashed, while kent’s teammates fall woefully short off the ice.
they’re both stanley cup winners, but who really won out here?
@unchillginger‘s post had me thinking about how dex/parson would happen, and this is what became of all that thought. Because how did dex end up falling in love with kent parson? How did they end up talking? how did they even meet?
Well, kids, sit down and I’ll tell you how, because it starts with a lost book and ends with love.
So here’s the thing about Kent: he never really got to go to school, like normal kids do. But he really likes learning! Not even classrooms, necessarily, just the reading and retaining information. He’s always got a book in his hockey bag, he listens to podcasts during the flights for away games. (And yes, he also loves a good party. These things are not mutually exclusive, y’all. Extroverts like to read, too.) his nickname around the guys is captain librarian, and Kent to this day has no idea where it came from, but it probably has something to do with his reading glasses, now that he thinks about it.
And Kents got a game in providence, while Jack is playing for them, so of course the whole Samwell team drove up and Dex is there, and they’re all leaving, and some of the guys are a little drunk, and Jack takes them all for a tour of the players area and during it, Dex finds a book. It’s “voices from Chernobyl” and in the front, there’s a phone number, followed by “if lost, please return.” The handwriting is neat, but Dex doesn’t recognize the area code, so he picks it up and decides that he’ll call the number and get a shipping address for the book later. It’s the kind of book he’d read, so no one really thinks too much about him carrying it around.
The next morning, as they’re all driving home, Dex starts reading it. Because it /is/ the kind of book he would read, and it’s actually been on his reading list for a while. About three pages in, there’s an annotation. It’s the same handwriting as the first, neat and clinical, but slightly rushed this time. The quote “death doesn’t care. The earth takes everyone.” Is underlined, and next to it, in the margins, “death can drag kit from my cold dead hands. You don’t fuck with a mans cat.”
I take no responsibility for RPF but I’m just saying: In the OMGCP universe, the Parse/Segs shipname would be “trash babies”.
This is so accurate. Holy heck, you know how we talk about Kent’s sexuality being the worst kept secret in the NHL? What if Trash Babies is the culmination of two best buds fucking with the media?
The fan following for them already existed. But then they got super fucking trashed together one time and decided to write a crack fic about themselves (it was horribly written, but they posted it anyway and it’s become infamous in the CP! RPF fandom. People can’t get over how graphic, surreally accurate, and rudimentary it is. (It’s essentially 5k on them having locker sex and they were really drunk ok?))
So then they decide to make fake a Twitter account where they occasionally stoke the fire with “rumors” and “leads” of their love affair. They make sure their ship has a reputation. They’re the Larry’s of their own goddamn fandom. They reinvented shit posting too, mind you.
And in a half-formed eight step plan, they make out at a club during All Star Weekend the next year. People take photos, the paps get involved. No one believes it though. A) you’d be surprised the amount of things people can ignore when they’re in denial B) C’mon, you see two generic white dudebros making out in a dark club and it “has to be” your favs? C) Trash Baby shippers are like the fans who cried wolf, and paps will do anything for a dollar
Bonus: because Trash Babies actually love their fans, they release pics from a photo shoot that’s sorority girls meets engagement announcement (y’all know what I’m talking about, kisses on the cheek, laughing through a meadow, poorly hiding behind trees and finding each other) and it really confuses most of the world? but feeds the shipping fodder for a very long time
Soft
It starts with a bar of soap.
For God’s sake, Kent thinks to himself in
the “personal care” section of the grocery store. Why does Dove think I’m allergic to purple just because I’m a guy?He picks up the lavender-scented bar soap and inhales. It smells heavenly. Next he tries the sandalwood-scented from the men’s section. It comes in a
gray box and costs fifty cents less. It smells good but it reminds him of floor
polish.I’m a grown-ass man, Kent thinks, and buys
the lavender soap.–
The next time he’s out of body wash, he spends thirty minutes
trying to decide on one of the many “manly” smells before caving to “Cocoa
Cabana” in the women’s aisle because it smells like Valentines Day in a bottle.After that it’s his deodorant body spray, trading in “Bold” (whatever the fuck
boldness smells like) for “Fresh Cotton.”The first time Jeff catches a whiff
of it on him, he asks, “New fabric softener? It smells awesome.”“Nah, switched deodorants.”
“Huh.” Jeff nods in approval. “Well, you smell like fresh
blankets out of the dryer. I have a physical urge to hug you.”Kent laughs. Jeff hugs him and he laughs more. It’s nice.
–
After five months, nearly every toiletry Kent owns has been
switched over from an endless variety of blacks, grays, and occasional dark
greens and blues to white, purple, soft brown, yellow, and pink. Showers have
transformed from a perfunctory necessity to something luxurious. Women’s
products are so indulgent.
They make Kent feel and smell like he’s been at a spa. He does have to learn to juggle the fragrances appropriately or
risk smelling like a perfume store vomited on him. But it’s worth it, for how
good he feels after. He feels pampered. His skin is softer, his hair shines,
and even his pits and crotch look and feel cleaner. He doesn’t know if it’s the
products or because he really cares about the maintenance, now, since he’s got
all these specialty items to try. It doesn’t matter. He feels great.Kent now has honest-to-God bubble baths and detox-salt-soaks.
He’s got body butters and face masks and a lip balm in almost every flavor. The
ladies at the Lush at the mall know him by name.Kent’s still single. He’s got his cat for company, though, and
the guys, who drop by or come over for movie and game nights and get drunk and
eat all his food and pretend to chirp him for the specialty lemongrass-scented
hand soap in his bathroom. Sometimes, on roadies, Swoops will plop down next to
him on a bus or a plane and say loudly, “Damn, who’s got chocolate and
isn’t sharing? Oh, it’s just Parser. Fuck you for getting my hopes up,” and
then he’ll noogie Kent or grab his fingers and gnaw on them.(The coaches have had to break them up before and it’s very
unbecoming of two adult men.)More than once, one of the guys has fallen asleep next to Kent
and ended up face-first in Kent’s shoulder. They’ll wake up blearily, rubbing
their eyes and saying, “Whoops, sorry man, didn’t mean to drool on you.”
Kent was confused at first but he’s realizing that it’s because they gravitate
towards the scent of him in their sleep. He smells like comforting things:
honey and chocolate and cotton and Shea. He smells like warmth and safety. It’s
why he likes all the things he buys, so it makes sense the guys would like
that, too.Nobody rags on him for it. They chirp him, but that’s different.
Chirping, light-hearted and giggly, means acceptance. Soon his teammates start
coming up to him in the locker room or nudging him on a bus and
saying, “Parser, can I borrow some of your stuff?” and leaving with
key-lime lips or cocoa-butter hands.But it’s when he catches Sunny—big, burly, greatly-bearded d-man
Sunny—pulling a bright orange tube of passion fruit lip balm out of his bag and
slicking it on in front of everyone that he knows for sure that it’s okay.
Steel Phoenix Studios 