it’s occurred to me that i’ve been out of classic who fandom so long that some of you doubtless have not seen it. if that is the case, here are some honest-to-god, hand-over-heart true facts about classic doctor who:
an entire fake season of the show had to be made up to make a single companion’s timeline possible
the last story of the entire run involves the master turning into a cat furry
a companion nearly gets eaten by a giant clam
there is an entire season where every villain is the master but in different ludicrous disguises. one time he summons satan
tom baker’s scarf was supposed to be normal scarf-length, but the person who bought the yarn had no idea how much yarn you need to make a scarf and bought way too much, and the person who was hired to make the scarf wasn’t told to stop. so she just. didn’t
the fifth doctor had a robot companion who had to be abruptly written off the show after the only person who knew how to operate the robot died
there is a serial where people are eaten by inflatable furniture and people complained to the bbc that it was too violent
an alien exiled to a boys’ boarding school on earth was convinced to kill the doctor by a man with a bird shellacked to his scalp. he failed so badly at killing the doctor that he became a companion instead
There was an entire six part story that was basically the miners strike but In Space. Everything was part of a plot by the Ice Warriors who wanted to start a space war and apparently pissing off miners with ridiculous hair was a crucial part of that plan. Probably still less evil than Margaret Thatcher though
The Master once dressed up as a Scarecrow and stood in a field. The Doctor and his companion walked by by PURE CHANCE and the Master took that as an excuse to drop the disguise and throw together a plan that involved causing a minor inconvenience to established history. There was no logical way he could have known the Doctor would be in that place at that time. He just felt like being a scarecrow and freaking out birds I guess
That same story has someone turned into a sentient tree
The Seventh Doctor once distracted three Lovecraftian beings from before the dawn of time with a magic show who were running a Murderous Circus staffed by homicidal clowns until his pyromaniac lesbian companion could throw him a hippies magic pendant which shot lasers at the gods and killed them.
That same story had a Space Werewolf and a British Explorer From Space
The Sixth Doctor’s companion Peri had a timeline so effing convoluted that an entire audio drama was made about how time travel had genuinely created MULTIPLE VERSIONS OF HER because it was the only way to explain all the contradictions
The Fourth Doctor painted the words “This is a Fake” behind the Mona Lisa as part of a plan to stop an alien art thief from wiping humanity from existence
The Seventh Doctor once fought a Homicidal Bertie Basset who worked for Margaret Thatcher in Space and killed people with deadly sweets. He defeated him with lemonade.
Ace literally has a girlfriend in almost every story she’s in. It’s not even subtle. In one story they literally had her and her Girl of the Week dressed in tuxes together.
ok but why is ‘potato’ always used negatively in phrases? ‘couch potato’ and ‘he looks like a potato’……… what the hell have potatoes ever done to you? potatos are the mvps of the food world, the backbone of many dishes. they never let u down. potatoes are the real winners here and we should feel honoured to be described as one
I can think of at least one time potatoes have let down a very large group of people.
That was not the potatoes’ faults! That, like most things, was on the British.
My wife and I were were talking the other day and, I don’t remember what we were even talking about, but the idea came up that we would need an oreo for. I joked about getting one from my secret stash. This is where she made her mistake. She said “oh right, like you could have an Oreo stash without me knowing about it.”
I’m sorry?
That’s a challenge.
Oreos aquired.
I’m going to hide them in a super simple place at first
But be sure to follow this post while I chronicle all the ways and places I hide them and also how I plan on taunting her with cookies while she can’t find the package
She is out of the house for a moment so it’s time to enjoy a few cookies
And find a new hiding spot
Hehehe
They up there
Normally I’m a Oreos with milk kinda guy, but I’ll take coffee if coffee is available
Now to hide them right under her nose
She never looks under the TV for anything. Tonight when we are watching Halloween Wars I’ll have a big dopey grin on my face
Time to up the stakes. It was fun having em here and hiding them around her while she didn’t know what was happening. Bit now it’s time for her to be in on the game she is playing
Four cookies packed in her lunch. Game on
I’ve been cleaning house today and feeling like I’ve done a pretty good job. Time to reward myself with some delicious Oreos
Aaaaand put them where she would never find them in a million years
🙂
Got up early this morning and helped pack everyone’s lunch. Pulling a damn Oprah over here
You get some cookies! You get some cookies! Everyone gets cookies!
Then a devious idea struck me…
I put the remaining Oreos in a baggie to hide by themselves. Now to “hide” the package where it will probably be found…
And pin the actual stash to the inside of the closet wall
If you two weren’t already married I’d beg you to marry her because you two are obviously perfect for each other and I love this post with all my heart
This guy’s dopey grin at his success at hiding oreos is exactly what I’m here for
You like that eh? Well you are going to love today’s installment
Look at that. So sad. So few Oreos left
Guess I’ll just pin em right to the middle of the wall in the middle of the living room. She’ll never find em there
Oh, guess I should put this back up
Bwa ha ha ha! You guys! You guys don’t understand! I was planning on doing this and when I got home and looked at it I was like “aww, it’s too thin. They won’t fit.” I even TOLD my wife this and how I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to hide them back there.
But then I looked again. They dooooo
Thank you all so much for the love. I knew y’all would like this, but I had no idea you would like it THIS MUCH. People calling us “goals” and stuff… Man…. It’s kinda hard to take in ya know? Anyways: if this post gets Over 9000™ before I get off work today I will pick up Halloween Oreos on my way home and this will not stop
Dole’s required to defend their trademarks or they might lose them. That vaguely threatening letter reads to me as “I have to legally say this but I don’t want to because I’m laughing too hard and they’re actually giving us marketing, but…I have to say it.”
It lowkey reads like they saw these and went ‘omg we can actually hecking use this idea to make an approximation of these things IRL(except bigger).
…Actually, to be honest, that wouldn’t be an entirely stupid idea. Like. Prepackaged carrots or w/e that could go into school lunches. Maybe with the whole hallowe’en theme.
Steel Phoenix Studios 