dick-wizard4000:

morbidmanatee:

jungwildeandfree:

ethantheheffalump:

cerynn:

theamazingsallyhogan:

the-gender-enigma:

prokopetz:

Bad: aliens that insist upon referring to human women as “feeeeemales”.

Good: aliens that insist upon dividing humans into binary categories, but the binary in question is based on something we’d regard as trivial and bizarre.

pro cilantro and anti cilantro

Just to screw with us they refer to have designated half the population as “edible” and the other half is “inedible.”

No intention of eating anyone, they just like how uncomfortable it makes everyone.

Even better: the aliens all agree on who is edible and who is inedible, but the humans have no idea what the criteria is

Even better: there is no criteria, the Aliens just keep a running list of whenever one member designated a human as edible or not. People are baffled because the selection appears random yet all the aliens are up to date, so there must be SOMETHJNG

I love this because it implies the aliens possess either (1) a universal hive mind or (2) an intergalactic group chat dedicated to fucking with humanity 

“Hey guys Steve Johnson just laughed at my antennae he’s edible ok?”

“Yum yum Steve ribs”

Id be insulted if i was deemed inedible

faunigraphic:

queenixx:

thelittlemerms:

pixie-tot:

why are non-millennials so personally offended by everything? like if i’m still wearing my jacket indoors, it’s because i’m cold, not because i disrespect your home/your classroom !! if somebody has got your order wrong, it’s because they’re very busy and simply made a mistake, not because they’re trying to jeopardise your meal !! if somebodies phone rings during a meeting/lecture, it’s because they accidentally forgot to put it on silent, not because they want to disrupt your speech !! just calm down, sharon, not everything is about you

my personal favorite is when you yawn and they’re like “am I boring you?”

like bitch i’m running on five hours of sleep and chronic anxiety 

its funny how you say non-millennials as if millennials aren’t offended bei every little tiny thing that could possibly happen

being offended by wearing a coat inside is very different to being offended by violent racism but sure enjoy your tea

rosalarian:

shiralipkin:

thelilithnoir:

startrektrashface:

schumie:

keeveet-talks:

obstinatecondolement:

I wonder when exactly it was that Star Trek stopped being perceived as light, fluffy, not-really-legitimate sci fi that ~housewives~ liked and started being seen as serious nerd business that girls had to keep their gross cooties off. 

Also when did the Beatles start to be remembered as rock legends rather than a silly boy band teenaged girls liked?

When men decided they liked them.

this is seriously exactly how it happened. Women were actually the first rock and roll ‘critics’ because they would write in to women’s papers and magazines to share and discuss what their kids were listening to when men still thought it was trashy teeny bopper music. once it became a lucrative, mainstream genre men shoved women out of the space. Men also tend to be gatekeepers once they move into formerly female spaces – early trek fandom was incredibly open and inclusive; women would set up fan get togethers in their own houses to discuss the show or invite the actors to visit before conventions became a thing, and then were huge in organizing the first conventions – but now the stereotype of a trekkie is a nerdy white dude who scoffs derisively at casual fans and newbies with his encyclopedic and pedantic knowledge of trek

I propose we call this “mentrification”

YES

MENTRIFICATION that’s genius

ghostinthegem:

kkelenca:

silencingthedrums:

rembrandtswife:

books-and-candy-ples:

the-winter-road:

andersonsallpurpose:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

bold-sartorial-statement:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

themintykid:

systlin:

hiking-viking:

chromalogue:

kirkspocks:

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

Oðinn spake:

Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth,
And bathed his count’nance fair.
Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar,
I found on the cold pavement
While returning in glory | from a grand hunt
For a 3 AM quesadilla.

@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again

I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful. 

@theshitpostcalligrapher

ay @systlin hmu

@systlin

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)

@bold-sartorial-statement

ay yo show ur husband 

@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes: 

(oops spot the typos)

i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it 

Sólin skein, björt og gullin
við fæðingu Þórs
á stígnum við Taco Bell
Þar lá Loki

The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing

This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!

If I wasn’t 2 years out of the class, I would send this to my Viking lit professor.  

@jimtheviking

@well-alright-then-buddy

icedbatik:

gallusrostromegalus:

wigglyflippingout:

gallusrostromegalus:

jonphaedrus:

powerfullygaypigeon:

@mad-hare your post about the evils of crochet and goodness of spinning birthed something

[caption: alignment chart broken down as follows

lawful good: quilting
neutral good: spinning
chaotic good: lacemaking
lawful neutral: knitting
true neutral: felting
chaotic neutral: macramé
lawful evil: loom weaving
neutral evil: finger knitting
chaotic evil: crochet]

@patrexes

My mother and everyone in her fiber guild has covered the entire chart by the time they’ve hit 65.  What does that make them?

powerful. it makes them Powerful

I’ll make sure to tell them next time I see them, they’ll be delighted.

I have tried everything on here except spinning and lacemaking. But there’s still time!