assuming vampires breathe, and are therefore alive, what do they do
If they’re alive and they need it to survive, it’s permitted (provided they don’t kill people in so doing).
If they’re not alive, halacha doesn’t apply to them.
Either way, there is no reasonable halachic restriction on a vampire drinking blood.
but would it need to be from a kosher animal can they drink, like, dolphin blood
Okay now that gets interesting and I would want to actually ask a rabbi whether that would be a thing. like, if one must consume the blood of living things to survive, does it make a difference whether one limits it to the blood of kosher animals or not. I could see it being ruled either way. (I would think if there is only one type of blood one can metabolize or if only one type of blood is available, one can consume it regardless.)
I remember learning that human blood (not sure about animal blood) is permissible to consume if it has not been “poresh” (”separated”) from the body (in the context of “if you cut your lip or your finger and immediately and instinctively put it in your mouth, you don’t have to spit out the blood”).
So
Drinking blood out of a goblet or vacuum-sealed bag would be assur, but sinking your teeth into someone and drinking directly (so that the blood never touches the air or is in a vessel) would be okay.
I know that applies to one’s own blood, but I don’t know if the principle applies to someone else’s. But it may count as a possible precedent!
Okay, so I asked my rabbi about this (… yes, my actual rabbi). Short answer, @fenrisesque, is that the ideal situation is for the vampire to intravenously ingestblood that was donated by a human in order to stay alive, assuming that donation doesn’t kill the person. If homemade intravenously doesn’t work, then storeboughtoral ingestion is fine too. This applies whether or not the vampire can drink animal blood. Long answer, which I find fascinating but is long so under a cut:
THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL please thank your rabbi for me
(also, consuming blood from a live person who will not be harmed by the loss of blood is completely different from killing and eating a person – because it is forbidden to derive material gain from a corpse, which includes using it for food, separately from any kosher/nonkosher issues.)
Where were you wonderful people when I was working on Tempus Fugitive???I?I
Listen I’m not a real religious person but the complete willingness of rabbis to seriously discuss whether various forms of possible vampire food are kosher is just the most amazing thing, and I feel like the Jewish people are really doing a lot of things right, is all.
I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.
This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someone’s day.
OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE “ROUGH AMD READY” ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING:
“As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.”
“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.”
“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”
YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE “DICK ANEURYSM.”
Bucky never thought he’d wind up using his latent skills like this.
“They invented sunscreen for a reason,” he reminded Steve acidly.
“I know,” Steve replied. He’d tried to sound nonchalant, but the fact is that even with the serum, he still burns faster and with more intensity than anyone Bucky’s ever met. After a long six hours at the beach, that day, Steve was in agony, lying on the floor in the living room because it was the coldest room in the house and the tiles were always a little bit chilly no matter what season it was.
He was trying to wait out the desperate hour before the serum got with the program and washed him out again. “UV rays are real,” Bucky said. “They’re out there.”
“I know.”
“People have died of sunburn.”
“I doubt that’s true, and even if it was, it wouldn’t kill me.”
“It’s the principle of the thing.” Bucky prodded Steve’s shoulder with his toe just to hear him hiss. “This is a preventable affliction. You would disrespect countless sunburn sufferers across the world by choosing this fate when some people would die to have the sunscreen resources—”
“I’m not wearing sunscreen,” Steve said flatly.
Steve now denies this constituted ‘issuing a challenge,’ but Bucky knows a mission objective when he hears one.
“Uh,” Sam says next time they’re at the beach, when Bucky flies out of nowhere to wrestle Steve to the ground with his sunscreen-covered hands.
“No,” Steve says sternly, fighting back. It’s not even about the sunscreen anymore, it’s about Steve being a stubborn fucking bastard. Bucky’s also not sure he can take another day of watching Steve stand in the bathroom, rolling the peeling skin off his person with an expression of vague distaste, as though molting an entire layer of skin is an unpleasant but normal human behavior after passing an afternoon at the goddamned beach.
“You,” Bucky seethes through his teeth, “will—slather—”
“Go slather yourself,” Steve hisses back, and if Bucky does get a few solid smears in, Steve throws him handily halfway down the beach, leaving Bucky skidding through the sand in a stopping crouch. He’ll have sand in his prosthetic for days now.
“Let it go, Buck,” Steve tells him, and all Bucky’s efforts wind up achieving is that Steve gets a much more mottled sunburn, like a cow, or like a dog rolled in pink mud. A lot more crankiness gets directed at Bucky when it starts to peel as a result, like it’s his fault Steve thinks he’s too good not to roast half to death.
“Ahh,” Steve hisses, rolling the skin off his shoulders. “This is so much worse. I don’t know where the burn begins or ends—”
“Then wear,” Bucky says mildly, turning the page on his book, “fucking, sunscreen.”
“No.”
“Guess your skin is gonna keep peeling off in weird streaks then.”
“You would do this to me again?”
“I will do this,” Bucky promises, “as many times as it takes for you to get the goddamn picture and put this stuff on—”
“It’s disgusting! It’s wet, and it smells like… chemical coconuts.”
“Less disgusting than shedding your fucking skin?”
“Leave it alone, Bucky!”
“No,” Bucky shoots back; and Bucky always keeps his promises.
There is no reason to fear ghosts, ever. Either they can hurt you or they can’t. If they can’t, then the best they can do is the occasional scare. And if they can hurt/kill you, then you’re a ghost too now and it’s fucking on.
it’s because reality is terrifying and our world’s dying, and our developmental years were spent in a constant state of using increasingly nonsensical humor to cope
It’s called the rise of neo-dadaism and the same thing happened during WWII
well that’s not concerning At All
Max Ernst. The Murdering Airplane, 1920
This is what you get when you have most of an entire generation that goes off to a war of attrition and drowns in the mud of the trenches or is chewed to death by rats, among other similarly interesting ways to die. They come home, and it means nothing. Nothing means anything anymore, everything is meaningless, fuck the rules lets get drunk and make art. They had theatrical performances where the actor sat on a single chair on the stage and reacted to the audience. They made money at those shows by selling things to throw at the stage, because why the fuck not? They created art that reflected both their emptiness, and in a sideways sort of way, a sort of hope.
A century later and nothing has really changed aside from the technology of the medium. And I’m certain that most of these artists would have loved smartphones and memes.
Max Ernst painted pictures using fish (not of fish – using fish to paint) and the entire Week of Kindness was basically pre-computer photoshopping. He would have loved all this shit.
Steel Phoenix Studios 