I love them so much because they’re about as sharp as a baseball and their anatomy is ridiculous to the point of them literally being classified as plankton for years because they just sort of get blown around by the ocean and look confused, but because they lay more eggs than ANY OTHER VERTEBRATE IN EXISTENCE, evolution can’t stop them
Why is no big predator coming and gnawing on them?
Their biggest defense is that they’re massive and have super tough skin, but they do get hunted by sharks or sea lions sometimes and they just sort of float there like ‘oh bother’ as it happens
Even funnier, because they eat nothing but jellyfish they’re really low in nutritional value anyway, so they basically survive by being not worth eating because they’re like a big floating rice cracker wrapped in leather.
So basically the only reason natural selection hasn’t taken care if them is because they are the most useless fish
yes, they’ve perfected uselessness to the point of being unstoppable
Housemate Xed works for the Secretary of State, in the bit that registers businesses and, for a few years and for somewhat convoluted political reasons, domestic partnerships.
Yesterday their office received the… complaints? Of a somewhat distraught pair of people (notice I do not say ‘couple’) who, at some point in the last few years, had decided to go into business together — a nail salon or something, I think — and been advised that they should form a Partnership. Pretty standard for a small business with two owners.
…except they didn’t understand and formed a Domestic Partnership instead.
Washington State legalized same-sex marriage in 2012, and as part of that, this June ALL non-senior domestic partnerships became marriages automatically.
These two business partners accidentally married each other.
And now they’re trying to figure out how to undo it.
…short of divorce.
THIS IS THE BEST *saves this plot for REPEATED FUTURE USE*
I can’t explain how much I want a 21st century Star Trek au where Kirk still lives in Iowa and it’s like “holy shit aliens just literally landed in my cornfield I can’t believe my life became a bad episode of x-files”
ok but. hear me out like…
kirk as just this genius 21yr old in Iowa building hi-tech shit in his basement; like radios and shit that manage to pick up sub-space frequencies that he helps code w/ the help of Uhura
kirk thinking it’d be a funny prank to make some crop circles in his family’s cornfield
kirk making intricate crop circles that read as some rudimentary script of Vulcan
spock responding to the images that seem to be an SOS from his father; beams down to earth only to find out some humans managed to accidentally learn the vulcan language
“oh so you’re an alien” “indeed” “And…you’re looking for your dad.” “affirmative” “well, you know what this means?” “….” “…roadtrip.”
spock learns the meaning of friendship as he roadtrips across america with a pack of humans that kirk picks up along the way in search of his father: mccoy, the doctor they met in georgia that let them sleep in his basement; scotty the auto repair guy they meet in some backwater town; sulu in new york that is much better at driving than kirk is; nobody really knows how chekov ended up with them, but it’s probably illegal
these are the voyages of the 1970 Volkswagen bus Enterprise
Minnesota, Interstate I-495: The Final Frontier
It’s not a 1970 Volkswagen, but…
driver picks the music!
Someone please write this. I don’t write in this verse. Please write it.
Steel Phoenix Studios 