Everything I Have To Tell You About Love by Neil Gaiman
I wrote this to read at my friends Sxip and Coco’s wedding, a little over a year ago. I love that it’s now flown out into the world. And Chris drawing things is such a delight.
I firmly believe that unless the couple has discussed and agreed to marriage ahead of time, nobody has any business making a surprise public proposal.
Okay except some people want a surprise public proposal.
Girl my husband took me to Spain and gave me a kinder egg on the beach, the ring was inside the capsule (Lord knows how he did that) if any feminist tried to take that away from me I may cut a bitch. Best surprise of my life.
I wish people were capable of analyzing larger social trends and figuring that a significant number of women end up getting pressured into engagements or marriages they don’t want bc the audience that comes along with a public proposal will think she’s a bitch if she says no – instead of thinking “i liked it when it happened to me, therefore it could never turn out badly for anyone, not ever!!!!”
I think what people are misunderstanding here is that agreeing to marriage ahead of time doesn’t need to be like, asking permission to propose? I surprised my now spouse with a proposal in Disneyland but before that we had several conversations about the future of our relationship, future plans for our retirements and how we’d have to get married eventually for immigration purposes. I didn’t go to her and say “so would you say yeah if I proposed?” or hash out deets ahead of time, but we had enough of a mutual understanding and communicated desire to get married that, although it was a surprise for when and how I proposed, it wasn’t out of left field at all.
This is exactly like conversations about consent, people get up in arms thinking that it means you have to have contracts and serious sit down conversations before doing anything when its REALLY EASY to simply COMMUNICATE with your partner so things like this are done properly, yeesh
“proposal can be a surprise, engagement shouldn’t be“ – saw that somewhere, thought it was the most accurate
obi-wan is coincidentally married to like, 12 different people, and just hasn’t gotten any of them annulled
at one point cody was carrying him off of a battlefield because he was Severely Wounded, As He Is Wont To Be, and obi-wan, on like 34 painkillers, looks up at him with a dopey grin and just ‘did i miss the wedding?’ and cody, a little shit, pulls a wounded look and says ‘you don’t remember it?’ and obi-wan DEMANDS to re-do the paperwork when he’s sober because dammit if he’s going to be married he’s going to do it PROPERLY, ahhhnakin, you can’t just half-ass these things
ventress and he fought once on a mandalore-type planet, where it turns out that fighting in This Specific Area/Grounds is actually like a marriage ceremony so they just kind of run with it to avoid provoking the locals every Single Time they fight, one of them ends up threatening a divorce, but they have yet to actually annul the marriage
satine and he got married on the run as part of one of their alibis so they could actually hunker down in one place for like,,, more than a month, and satine never annulled it so she wouldn’t have to deal with the suitor game bc she legally already has a husband, and no one’s going to argue with a jedi master
plo koon was trying to legally adopt the wolffepack but there’s a law on coruscant that says if you’re adopting over x number of children you have to have a spouse or co-guardian, so obi-wan, master of dramatic and unnecessarily complicated solutions, suggested he just add one to his increasing list of spouses
quinlan and he got married once in space vegas and quinlan has never and will never let it go
hondo listen obi-wan as his spouse on an arrest report once or some such to get out of a penalty / to charge his bail to the jedi council instead and it turns out due to some red tape that that’s actually legally binding: hondo is hugely amused by this
Okay but you forgot the time he married Jango Fett, when Jango aggressively shouted the Mando marriage proposal at him, thinking it was funny that he was threatening Obi-Wan with those words since Obi-Wan didn’t know a lot of Mando’a, and Obi-Wan shouted it back to him in an attempt to appear in control of the situation.
Given how canonically difficult it is to get anything done through Republic courts, it’s probably easier not to bother with divorce when you might actually die before the case is even seen.
My kink is husbands & wives who are still portrayed as very much in love with each other, because even after years of commitment and kids, they still talk to each other, go on fun random adventures and try new things. No resentment. No portrayal of marriage as a chore. Just actual love.
yikes who’s even into men and women being in relationships anymore
you wanna know how your grandparents “worked through” their problems and didn’t divorce?
cause ya grandmama most likely didnt have her own assets or income and depended on your grandfather to support her and the family. she had no choice but to work it out. also the stigma a divorced woman would face? pfffffffft.
trust me alot of yalls grandfathers are/were awful people and your grandmother wouldve left him if she could
!!!!!!!!!
A lot of people act like higher divorce rates are indicative of a loss or morality or commitment in our generation, but to be honest, I always am glad when I see high divorce rates because it means people are leaving abusive and unhealthy relationships at higher rates. It means that fewer women are dependent on men and can decide for themselves what they want their life to be.
Republicans act like higher divorce rates and fewer young adults wanting to get married is a bad thing when really it’s just a sign of social progress and greater autonomy.
*bangs on the table* YES
man, republicans really hate it when women gain some control over their lives, don’t they.
Steel Phoenix Studios 