like whats the average lifespan of an asgardian? like yeah thor is 1500 but what if thats just like 23 in human terms
googled “asgardian lifespan” found this,
so if thor is currently 1500 years old (said in infinity war)
5100/1500 = 3.4
so thors current age times 3.4 would be the average lifespan of an asgardian
to change that to human terms the average lifespan of a human is about 80 so
80/3.4
lsdmkfgjdfjsd oh my God…
thor really out here having the worst time of his life and hes like 23
this metric gets even weirder if you do it for loki’s age
according to Thor 1 loki was a baby in 965 AD, making him not much older than 1000 years (1053 counting from this year,) so considerably younger than Thor.
Doing the same calculation as above, 5100/1053 gives a ratio of 4.8, that is to say that the average life span of the aesir is 4.9 times as long as loki has lived, so 84/4.8 places him comparative to a human life span at:
….17.
LOKI YOU ARE NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO *VOTE,* LET ALONE HOLD HIGH OFFICE! YOU GET DOWN FROM THAT THRONE RIGHT NOW!!!
upon learning Shuri is 16 in Black Panther, I quietly revise all my original shipping plans from “adults” to “Shuri is a hopeless baby lesbian with a crush on every single Dora Milaje and soon a big useless enormous crush on MJ, who is like a semi competent but mostly just grungy bisexual with a super popular twitter account that Shuri is obsessed with and MJ is s t o k e d about everything about Wakanda and tweets that she’s doing her senior research project on Wakandan tech and T’Challa, who follows his baby sister’s online crush’s twitter so he can forward Shuri the most embarrassing tweets that will make her furious (“YES BROTHER I DID SEE THAT SELFIE AND I DON’T NEED YOU TO REMIND ME OFF IT”), is like “this is the moment I was born for. This is why I became king” and tweets MJ like “we’re doing youth outreach, come to Wakanda, my very talented and smart and accomplished sister will give you a personal tour :)” and MJ and Shuri simultaneously die”
the Dora Milaje prepping for MJ’s visit by giving Shuri different and conflicting romantic advice until Okoye tells them it is against their sacred duty to torment the princess into a crush-induced panic attack because she cannot decide between her top twelve outfits and cool confident quips for making a good first impression
MJ meanwhile with Peter is repeatedly punching him in the arm because he just told her that he met T’Challa and she’s furious this hasn’t come up before, and also he’s Spider-man, but that’s not nearly as important as KING T’CHALLA WHAT, DID HE TALK ABOUT HIS SISTER AT ALL, MJ’S BEEN FOLLOWING ARTICLES ABOUT HER FOR YEARS AND SHE SEEMS DOPE AND CUTE AS HELL
Shuri, so excited and nervous that 10 percent of her attention is freaking out about how she can smell MJ oh no she smells so good, and 70 percent is on trying not to jitter so hard she thrums into a new plane of existence (and then the remaining 20 percent for figuring out cold fusion, nbd): HELOO M-UH-MMM- MICHELLE. DO YOU PREFER TO BE CALLED MICHELLE AND WELCOME TO MY BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY OF WAKANDA. WOULD YOU LIKE TO PHOTO WITH IT FOR YOUR INTERNET FRIENDS. I AM SHURI. YOU MUST KNOW THAT ALREADY. HAHA MY BROTHER TOLD YOU ABOUT ME. I WILL MURDER HIM.
MJ, who has spent the last ten minutes hiding in the bathroom applying deodorant to basically every non-face part of her body because she can’t stop sweating oh my god stop sweating you’re sweating on a three hundred year old chair in a sitting room in a palace in fuckin WAKANDA, and who is so stressed that she’s transcended the human for and is now astral projecting somewhere behind her own body, distantly pitying this new york punk gremlin who thought Formal Plaid was a good idea talk to a real ass honest to god genuine princess with a beautiful smile holding a small cat robot that she hand designed this afternoon on a whim: dope. I love murder. call me MJ
Hi guys, hope you’ve all been doing well! I’ve gotten a few print requests for my Cap and Bucky fanart, so I printed a limited amount of posters and will be selling them over on on Storenvy🙂 A discount is available if you buy both! I’ll start shipping them at the beginning of November. Thanks for all your support!!
Steve Rogers: Diligent. Politically, scientifically, anatomically, emotionally correct. Posts on time. Sticks to the schedule and their own well-mapped-out-and-classic-plot. Actually enjoys constructive criticism because it will help them improve but has been known to reply with, “Well, actually...” Always trying to help. Annoying but has good intentions.
Bucky Barnes: A writing machine in Winter Mission Mode when a plot idea takes over their minds. In between missions they are lost and shopping for plums in a Romanian farmer’s market. Has moments where they can’t remember how to write themselves out of writostasis. Easily triggered by words. Eternal Internal Screaming. Made a grave mistake letting Steve Rogers beta their stories. Might be a mess. Might need rehab.
Tony Stark: Intelligent and knows it. Clearly educated, knows synonyms and metaphors without needing to look them up. Writes elaborate, scientifically correct stories. Reads up on thermonuclear physics just for fun research. Has an explanation for literally everything. Has a literary device for every plot hole. Obnoxious but when you need to read something reliably good, they deliver. Exhausted by constantly trying to prove and improve themselves. Sometimes forgets how to human. Wants to give advice that nobody asked for. Hard to like until you get to know them. Is a little lonely maybe.
Peter Parker: New kid on the scene. Wants to be liked. Writes A LOT. Posts A LOT. Wants A LOT of comments. Uses a lot of =))))))))) in the writer notes. Latches onto senior writers and wants to be in a clique. Often shoot their loads prematurely. Frequently gets some very good plot ideas but currently lacking the perfect execution. Gets stuck in their own web of plot holes.
Loki: Professional shit-stirrer of the fandom. You’re never sure if they’re your friend or not. Spends more time being contrary than actually writing. Sometimes leaves stories with cliffhangers that never reach a conclusion. Deliberately writes NOTPs just for fun. Needs constant validation from an audience. Is actually quite talented if they bothered to focus their energy on writing and not bickering. Just wants to be liked (on the down low.)
Wanda Maximoff: Might be a hack. Might be a genius. Has tapped into The Power of Knowledge but doesn’t actually know how to harness it into a coherent story. Flashes of brilliance followed swiftly but flashes of despair and self-loathing. Powerful but poor discipline. Likely to destroy and delete their stories on a whim because some words don’t look right or their aim was slightly off that day. Notorious for abandoning ideas and leaving a trail of incomplete stories in their wake.
Thanos: Trigger Warning-Character Death. A total sadist. The writers you get a little worried about.
Peter Quill: Hilarious. Jokes every two sentences. Pop culture references and always puts soundtrack links in their author notes. A gift for natural dialogue and conversations. Doesn’t get taken seriously because of the lack of drama in their stories but secretly writing humour in order to deal with underlying traumas of their past. One day will write a heartbreaking story and play it off as a joke.
Wade Wilson: PWP Crack writers. R-rated. Anatomically graphic. Sometimes the realism is a touch too real. 50% hilarious. 50% makes-you-uncomfortable. Might have emotional range and depth but often chooses not to show it. Probably mentions pizza, beer and mexican food in their stories. A Good Bro but needs a Mute-Button and thesaurus sometimes.
Natasha Romanoff: Better than you and you both know it. Gives off an air of superiority. Super clique-y but they also keep themselves at a distance. Good at literally every genre and writing style. Leaves no plot holes behind, ever. All stories are clean headshots with neat conclusions. Their plot twists have plot twists. Either they’ve done extensive research or they’ve actually been an assassin. The type of author you’re intimidated by and too scared to talk to.
Thor: Never Say Die Writers. Hammers out story after story. Will write themselves to God Status, no matter what it takes. Will shed blood, sweat, tears, an eye, a sibling…to achieve their goals. Honourable and respects other writers. They’ve got hustle and you can’t help but like them.
T’Challa: Feels heavily burdened by the Fandom Crown after writing one of the most badass Iconic stories of the century. Fucks off to Wakanda so you never hear from them again. It would take a Fandom Apocalypse to get them to come back. Constructs sentences so advanced that it makes you want to retire from your own writing. Infuriatingly cool. Is benevolent but doesn’t need hits and comments for validation. Gets them anyway, without even trying.
Stephen Strange: A literal wizard at world building. Known for their elaborate plots and multi-tiered-multi-character-multi-chapter stories. Cradle-To-The-Grave-type writers. Doesn’t believe in One-Shots. One-Shots are for the weak. Way too indulgent with language and minute details. Probably knows Latin. Often competes with Tony Stark writers for title of “Most Obnoxiously Complex Story Ever”. Frequently exhausting. Takes writing a little too seriously. Annoying but worth it.
Bruce Banner: Dramatic. The definition of “well that escalated quickly”. Will start off writing an endearingly small and clever story but all hell breaks loose by chapter three. Suddenly there is a lot of shouting and misunderstandings and chapters that read like glorified keyboard smashes. Everyone suffers. You don’t know what happened. Nobody knows what happened. Not even the writer. PTSD.
Clint Barton: 90% Sarcasm. 10% Plot. The master of the One-Shot because that’s all they need. Doesn’t believe in time wasting, indulgent flowery language and poetic confessions. Writes to get it out of their system so they can go back to their actual real lives. Secretly eye-rolls at Stephen Strange writers but also awed by them. Doesn’t know what a beta is.
Groot: The Holy Grail Of All Writers. Straight up literature. Can condense an entire paragraph into three words. Will write devastation and break your heart within the first five lines. Understands language in a way that most mere mortals can’t hope to achieve in one lifetime. The writer you bookmark and remember. Fandom famous. Universally loved.
Tag yourself.
I’m Bucky/Peter P/Wanda/Clint but I want to be Thor.
Lol! I have to admit that I saw this last night and after reading them I did think that Steve Rogers fit pretty well. Thanks for the validation @likingthistoomuch 😜 😘
I am so Clint Barton/Wanda Maximoff. I’d like to be Thor but hey…*sips tea*
Steel Phoenix Studios 