Wait, so in Gryffindor Tower, if a boy tries to go up the girl’s staircase, it turns into a slide, right? What if one day a kid sets foot on it, but it remains stairs, all the way to the top, and at the top the kid whispers “I knew I was a real girl”
(hey tumblr please don’t delete the previous people’s comments like you did the last time i added someone’s tags to a post mmkay)
No but that’s actually so clever okay like the people who live in the castle would get a general idea of the patterns and how to move around efficiently but like for anyone planning on attacking it would be impossible to infiltrate like how the hell do I attack the headmaster when I can’t even find the bathroom why the fuck am I in a chemistry supply closet okay these stairs went to the main hall but now I’m on my way to the broom closets holy fucking shit fuck leonard SAID the dorm was on the left of the three headed hippogriff but I’m here and it’s just a painting of a man with a donkey face is this a fucikgin joke leonard do you think this is funny because it’snot. its not okay siri how the hell do i get to the nearest anything “here is: the nearest painting” like fuck you siri
actually considering all this, the changing floorplan probably worked exactly as designed when it came to the battle of hogwarts in the late 90′s. the invasion was towards the end of the term, so the students, especially the renegade students in hiding, had the full term to master getting around the school quickly, quietly, and efficiently. the invading deatheaters were generally their parents’s ages, and hadn’t been back to hogwarts in several decades, if they’d even attended at all. so, while the adult invaders easily outmatched the adolescent defenders in strength and skill, hogwarts was a lethal maze to the deatheaters, while it was home to the kids.
rowena knew what the fuck she was doing.
The only time slytherin and hufflepuff worked together my ass. They were best friends.
I’m in school and I’m fucking crying
Seriously though why do people think Slytherins wouldn’t get along with Hufflepuffs? We can make any friendship work and they can make use of every situation. It just works.
I’m hufflepuff and 99% of my friends are slytherin. Don’t tell me it won’t work
Hufflepuffs and Slytherins also share the trait of being REALLY, SUPER LOYAL so that’s also a thing.
As if ObiWan could forget that shiny blue troublemaker.
In my head it goes like this –
Luke (oblivious) : He says he belongs to an Obi-Wan Kenobi. Is he a relative of yours? Etc etc
Ben (distracted and barely paying attention to the conversation): *Former master my ass, you little scrap heap. You’ve never listened to me in your LIFE. I always had to drag Anakin or Ahsoka or Padme away from what they were doing just to get you to talk to the faulty navicomputer when you were in the same damn ship and just as likely to die if I flew use through a star*
R2: *stares blankly and flashes a red indicator light like [[shut up jerkface, I had to convince the kid somehow]]*
Ben (smirking, sarcasm missing Luke by a parsec because sandpeople): I don’t recall ever owning a droid. Very interesting.
In The Road to El Dorado there is only really one inexplicable thing within the plot. Miguel and Tulio plausibly bluff their way through or slip out of most situations. However, I’d never figured out why the volcano actually stops erupting when Tulio commands it.
The conclusion I finally came up with is that the actual gods were watching their big entrance go down, and thought “oh, this’ll be hilarious”
The actual reason for this was that the armadillo seen following them was intended to be AN ACTUAL GOD in the original script, but it was scratched during production. You can see during the eruption that the volcano stops erupting the same second the armadillo stops playing and starts paying attention to it. So in summary, armadillo is God, producers decide to not change the plot and leave all the godly armadillo things instead without actually saying that the armadillo is behind it.
Umbridge: Mr. Potter, do you expect to be attacked in my class?
Harry: Yes.
Umbridge: What?
Harry: Well, I mean, I’m running four for four.
Umbridge: Mr. Potter-
Harry: Quirrel tried to choke me out.
Umbridge: Mr. Potter-
Harry: And Lockhart tried to wipe my memory.
Umbridge: Mr. Potter-
Harry: Of course, Professor Lupin didn’t mean it. He just forgot his potion, but still, totally went werewolf on me.
Umbridge: MR. POTTER-
Harry: And then Moody turned out to be an escaped Death Eater in disguise.
Umbridge: POTTER!
Harry: So, yeah, I figure it’s 100% you’ll attack me in June, 50/50 you’ll try to kill me, with a 25% chance of an Unforgivable curse.
Harry: (Turns to Hermione)
Harry: Did I get the math right?
Hermione: Yes.
how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”
#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)
Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.
Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON
I already queued this but also, you do this, but still have Ginny become a famous Quidditch player. Imagine the first time Harry gets called “Ginny’s husband” before “the boy who lived” or “the chosen one.” Imagine how fucking pleased he’d be.
Imagine the first time a student comes up to him looking starry-eyed and Harry’s thinking “Oh no” because he doesn’t want to talk about Voldemort or the war but instead this little eleven year old is like “ARE YOU REALLY MARRIED TO WEASLEY FROM THE HOLLYHEAD HARPIES???!?? WHAT’S SHE LIKE?” and he’s like “oh thank god” because he could talk about Ginny all day.
he has a pretty little wasp waist in cap2 but in cap3 he’s just. SOLID
This is a great comparison shot because you can see that in the first one, the curve of his waist follows the width of the horizontal straps, and in the second one, there is clearly extra inches filled out on either side 💦💦
STOP THE PRESSES
Am I the only one whose seeing how in cwtws the horizontal straps are straight up and down, but in CACW they’re pulled to the left, as if they tried to squeeze him into his old costume, but it just doesn’t fit?
Also bonus if you compare the width of the chest strap, and also in Cap3 more of the metal arm is visible near the shoulder/arm pit. HIM BIG.
Bonus x2:
I was trying to find some decent shots of him in the Winter Soldier outfit in Cap3 for a better comparison but they’re actually few and far between.
Someone get some big HD beef stat
See, this could just be me being Captain Angstbucket, and the whole thing is probably a coincidence (with seb bulking up for the role), but 1991 winter soldier is beefy. He’s solid.
2014 winter soldier is strong, yeah, he’s got abs. But he’s also pretty slender too
Which says to me that the Russians took care of him physically (not mentally obviously, let’s not even go there). But in the care of Alexander Pierce? The weight is dropping off him
Which makes me wonder, at what point Pierce stop finding value in the winter soldier? This man was a ghost, a myth, and Pierce sends him repeatedly out in broad daylight, into crowded streets full of witnesses.
When did the winter soldier become a blunt instrument to him, rather than a fine blade? When was decided that he would get the minimum requirements to stay functional? How long was he losing all that muscle, all that weight before being sent on suicide missions?
Was Pierce a little disappointed each time he came back?
I gotta re-re-reblog this for the meta because yesssss, I also follow that headcanon; the Russian’s treated TWS better, though he was still a thing to them.
Jumps on the angst train cos that’s a good point about Pierce, I think it kind of goes in hand with the idea that the Russian branch of Hydra never gave Pierce/American Hydra the proper “TWS 101″, they probably told them the basics but never how to properly control him. Hence all the “wipe and start over”s. And then like, since TWS wasn’t working properly he became that blunt instrument in Pierce’s eyes.
Though my headcanon about his nutrition differs; I think they do give him the required nutrients, but because he doesn’t have proper food (hydra making sure they know what goes into him, he’s a thing he doesnt need it etc) and his increased metabolism he just burns through it like no tomorrow. It’s an odd irony that what they think is the best for him really isnt.
Adding a boxcar to the angst train with a mention of how much more awful it makes Pierce offering him that milk if Pierce didn’t give a rat’s ass about the Asset’s nutrition.
Ya’ll somehow managed to pack thirst, angst, and meta into one Bulky Barnes post, and I’m proud of everyone.
Steel Phoenix Studios 