thartwell:

if-only-angels-could-prevail:

enjjollrras:

90percentshowtunes:

yogurthusband:

imagine if valjean brought home the wrong barricade boy

wasn’t there a production where the marius got too sick to stay on stage during the final battle and JVJ just grabbed Joly

i researched this. it turns out understudy marius was the one who was sick from eating some shitty oysters, so colm just grabbed joly. he made sure to indicate that joly was now marius. he carried joly home and then ANOTHER guy (i think he was some sort of director who had played marius once before?) came on and sang from post-barricade on. the night of 3 marius

the marii

It is a crime that the actual “Night of Three Marii” story isn’t included in this post, so, to rectify this crushing flaw:

The Night of Three Marii

a performance of Les Mis in Dublin that had 3 actors in one night play Marius.
by Chip

There have been many times things have not exactly gone according to plan in Les Mis over the years but this was surely one of the more unique incidents featuring as it did three Marii, none of which was even the regular one, and a supporting cast of highly enthusiastic oysters.

It was late February of 1999 and the UK Tour company was settling into the special Dublin engagement with Colm Wilkinson. Colm was not the only performer to join the cast in Dublin, Matt Rawle had come aboard as Marius and had gone on through previews and opening night without a hitch but just two days later he called in sick. Well not to worry, this cast featured a most excellent understudy in the form of Adrian Smith who normally played Feuilly.

Adrian found out he would be going on that Thursday evening after having sampled some of Dublin’s fresh oysters at the opening night party 48 hours earlier on Tuesday night. He probably should have left the party and checked out Molly Malone and gone with her cockles and muscles instead since the oysters seemed to have taken umbrage at his ingesting them. Though they forgot to bring along a red banner they were about to “rise up” shall we term it and launch a little insurrection of their own soon. In short, they were about to give poor Adrian much grief.

Adrian wasn’t the only one to experience the revolt of the oysters – or was that the revolting oysters? Some of the others attending the opening night gala had come down sick following the incubation period for oyster poisoning which is 24 hours and doctors were dispatched to the fallen. Adrian was still not too queasy by early on Thursday though by curtain time he was starting to feel a bit poorly. But the show must go on as someone once said who obviously never ate tainted oysters in their life.

Adrian went on and as he performed the ensemble roles a Marius plays in the first hour he started to feel more and more sick. Things really got worse by the time Paris rolled around and he went on for the first time as Marius in the show. He soon found that departing the stage that evening after scenes featured a detour to the john as he was far more than merely queasy at this point.. I guess the oysters didn’t have their equity cards in order and felt guilty going on stage illegally and were trying their best to “leave the premises.”

Things got bad then things got worse but what to do? Les Mis casts have at least two understudies for each of the major roles so why not get Adrian to bed and send on the second cover? Well the second cover had left the cast right before the Dublin run and his replacement was brand new and had not yet been rehearsed in the role. So Adrian bravely persevered.

But his condition was deteriorating rapidly. After Thenardier and his gang try to rob Valjean’s house, Valjean rushes in and worries aloud that Javert may have discovered him and Cosette (Poppy Tierney) is suppose to use that moment to turn and rush to the garden gate to spend a few precious seconds holding Marius’ hands. But when Poppy reached the gate that night there was no romantic hand holding going on as Marius was finding the john far more attractive to be near than Cosette by that time.

Well maybe Adrian would feel better after resting during intermission or interval as it is termed over there. Adrian didn’t. Adrian felt worse. Adrian soldiered on.

Now when Adrian left the stage earlier in the show for costume changes and what not he could deal with business off stage. However Marius was now at the barricade for the duration and the students of 1832 didn’t exactly have port-a-potties on the premises. What to do? “Little Fall of Rain” was a bit of a problem since Adrian couldn’t get up and tell poor Éponine (Alex Sharpe) to wait while he used a bucket that had been stationed conveniently in the wings for him by this time. When Éponine expired Marius’ reaction was pretty dramatic though not exactly following the traditional blocking. Adrian waved wildly to the students to come over immediately and as they cradled Éponine and before David Bardsley (Enjolras) could comfort Marius singing “she is the first to fall,” this Marius had dashed off into the wings on the dead run! Rob Miller, filling in for Adrian in the role of Feuilly filled in for him here as well singing the lines, “her name was Éponine, her life was cold and dark but she was unafraid,” which makes one wonder just how Feuilly knew Éponine so well … hmmmmm.

Adrian remained off stage after that for a good while. When Enjolras is suppose to say “Marius, rest,” David, doing some very quick thinking, turned to Feuilly instead and said “Find Marius!”

After returning and getting through his part for a bit longer Adrian had to rush off again during Gavroche’s death. He returned afterwards bringing his little bucket in tow as well as Alison Crowther, a swing with the cast, who was assigned the dubious duty of making sure Adrian hit the pail and not the stage floor. So Adrian took care of business in front of 3000 patrons. The cast tried to screen him as much as possible so I don’t know how many audience members spotted Adrian and wondered at Marius’ inordinate fascination for the bottom of a bucket but hopefully not many.

But it had become obvious by this point that Adrian wasn’t getting any better and there would be no way he could sit there and sing “Empty Chairs” without emptying his chair and rushing off the stage in the process. Now the resident director with this company was Shaun Kerrison who had once been a Marius understudy in London. It was clear what must be done and Shaun went off to get into costume.

In the meantime Adrian was nearly a goner and he finally had to crawl off stage during the final battle and Tom Moss, who was playing his usual role of Joly, was quickly drafted and fell down wounded in his stead. Colm called out to him as Marius several times so no one would think Valjean had decided Joly would make a better match for Cosette then dragged Tom down into the sewers with him. Fortunately Tom was no stranger to the sewers being regularly featured as “The Body” that Thenardier (well know Irish character actor John Kavanagh) dragged in night after night. But Colm had dibs on Tom that night so John had to quickly nab himself a spare body for the occasion.

And Tom Moss that night must have entered the Guiness Book of World Records, Les Mis Division, as having performed the role of Marius for the shortest amount of stage time ever and without singing a single word. Surely a feat of such magnitude that his grandchildren will revel in the glory decades from now.

Well Shaun was ready and in costume in time for “Empty Chairs” and did an outstanding job from there through the end of the show thus holding down the anchor lap of the Marii Relay in fine fashion. It was a night he and Tom and especially poor Adrian will never forget. It was the night of the three Marii!

Both Matt and Adrian needed at least one more day to recover so the following night, just to make things more interesting, a fourth Marii popped up. It was the old second cover, Mark McGee, who had already left the cast but who was returning that day to visit his girlfriend who was still with the company. He was drafted for the day to return to the show and though he never had the chance to actually go on as Marius the whole time he had been with the tour he did that one magical night in Dublin with Colm.

And as Les Mis has an Epilogue so does this Les Mis tale. About a month later Matt came down with laryngitis and had to leave at the end of Act 1 one night. Adrian went on in Act 2 as Marius for the first time since he had shared the role with Tom, Shaun and the oysters chorus. At curtain call Colm not only shared his bow with Adrian but gave him a big grin and “thumbs up” as the cast all warmly applauded not only his efforts of that night but of another memorable one not that long ago. The oysters, not getting the star billing they felt they deserved, were a no show that night. Funny, Adrian didn’t seem to miss them at all.

cacen:

so at the bar in which I work, there’s an unofficial rule that all of our door staff must have names that start with D or rhyme with ‘doorman’, which has led to me befriending a trio of six foot four men with beards called Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan. 

now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the absolute love of my life. I don’t care that he’s a decade older than me and has a fiance. you know when someone is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they’re simply referred to as ‘a character’? that’s Doorman Dan. now, before I get into his personality, let’s describe his appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scandinavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now, add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper.

that’s Doorman Dan. 

since meeting him last year, I’ve discovered:

  • he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that said ‘shit happens’ on his left arsecheek, so when he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called Junkie Jeff at 9AM
  • he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months while he was in the army, and was completely unaware they had broken up until he wished her a happy Christmas and she responded with ‘what the fuck Dan’
  • accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for thirty-six hours
  • he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay, and instead of jumping in and fighting back he decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out and ran off
  • he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a month for ‘mystery adventures’, one of which has resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed inside any John Lewis shops
  • he is convinced the love of his life is not his fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: “I’ll know when I meet him.”
  • he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless they follow him
  • his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even proposed. “I don’t even know if I’m invited, truth be told.”
  • when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he didn’t want to intrude so he just gently knocked on the door and asked if they’d like a snack
  • he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail called Doorman’s Sunrise because he feels left out being the only person on the dance floor without a drink when he’s patrolling the bar

I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him

homophile:

I WENT TO VISIT MY GRANDMA AT THE NURSING HOME AND THE LADY LITERALLY DOESN’T KNOW POOP FROM APPLESAUCE BUT SHE MUST HAVE REMEMBERED ME BRINGING SOMEONE TO CHRISTMAS BECAUSE SHE’S LIKE “SO HOW’S KALEB” (AKA MY GIRLFRIEND, KAYLA) AND MY MOM WAS LIKE “SHE’S DATING A GIRL AND HER NAME IS KAYLA, MOM”

WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT MY GRANDMA WAS LIKE “OH HOW LOVELY. I WAS A LESBIAN ONCE YOU KNOW.”

sagihairius:

i work as an actor at a haunted house and this little girl who was dressed as a cat came through she saw me and was like “no thank you please dont get closer i am already scared” and i was like alright i appreciate the good manners ill back off. so her dad picks her up and starts going down the rest of my dark hall and i just hear her yell “everybody wait! i dropped my ears” so i find them and give them to her dad and she goes “thank you but i hope i never see you again goodbye” and waved over her dads shoulder. i waved back and she gave me a thumbs up. honestly this kid has a lot of guts props for being so polite when shes terrified i hope she gets a lot of candy this year

beautifulfic:

beautifulfic:

The other day I answered the door to my postman. I was signing for stuff, like you do, when my kid came downstairs with only his underwear and a t-shirt on.

Now, the postman couldn’t see him from the front door, and I scribbled my signature and said, to my son, “You need to put some trousers on.”

My postman, very slowly, looked down at his trouser-clad legs with a mixture of confusion and horror, and then looked back up at me.

When I explained I was talking to my little boy out of his line of sight, he gave a very solemn nod and said: “I thought I’d put trousers on this morning, but suddenly when you said that, I really wasn’t sure.” 

Years after this, I still have the same postman. He still always wears trousers, but every time I answer the door, I’m pretty sure we both remember this incident.

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

the-british-pineapple:

soggywarmpockets:

highfunctioningsassiopath:

soggywarmpockets:

Tonight I may have had an encounter with the smoothest human being on earth.

As many of you know I work as an actor in a haunted house. This is a fun job for many reasons, but witnessing people’s reactions to being scared is by far the best. I’m a scare window actor, which means I hide behind a section of the wall that is held up by a latch that I can lift and drop away suddenly, scaring people with both my scream, and the loud sound my window makes upon being dropped. I have a small hole drilled in the wall to look through to see people passing.

The smoothest human being on the planet wore a white hoodie. He came in a group with three other friends. I did not expect to scare him much. After a while you can kind of gauge just by what you can glimpse from your peephole whether someone will be a good scare or not. Men in their 20’s in a mixed group of friends typically do not get scared easily. But this guy was wearing white in my blacklight-equipped hallway, so he had made himself an easy target and I had to take advantage.

I dropped my window precisely when he was in front of it.

He leapt back toward the wall on the other side of my narrow hallway and his drew back his arm like he meant to punch me.

“This is it.” I thought. “I’m finally going to be socked in the face for scaring someone.”

But I was wrong.

His arm kept curling back behind his head. Smoothly, flawlessly, effortlessly he tucked his hand behind his head, leaned back on the wall opposite me, and propped a foot up on the plywood frame of my open window, reclining with ease.

“So, come here often?” He asked.

All of this occurred within the span of a second. Maybe two.

I was shook. I was stunned. I almost broke character.

I shrugged. “Only on the weekends.” I replied with my character voice. His group laughed. He double finger gunned me and walked on.

I will never forget him.

I cannot stress enough how perfect his transition from his fear reaction to his playboy act was. It flowed so naturally.

He is already a legend in my haunt.

Most people have a fight-or-flight instinct. This man has a third option: flirt.

Must have been a bard.

*sees wild animal* daaammn you cute 

Someone found Obi-Wan Kenobi in a fuckin’ haunted house.

costume-shop-glitter-bomb:

thegothicalice:

madness-and-brilliance:

krazycat6167:

sushinfood:

nervous-selkie:

bethlammen:

exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear:

cutiepiemime:

todaytomorrowgiraff:

razerathane:

vandigo:

agent-teacup:

jumpingjacktrash:

lesbiananglerfish:

b00k-freak:

ceescedasticity:

abaline-merits:

felinefan:

sushinfood:

bettsplendens:

shrineart:

wizardmoon:

sushinfood:

acrossthesea-overtheland:

sushinfood:

octopusbath:

sushinfood:

so i fell asleep at my desk for a few seconds and woke up abruptly to the thought “WHO CARES!? THESE ARE ASSLESS CHAPS!!!” burning through my mind

i dont understand

It’s ok, I woke up two weeks ago to slapping my knuckles over my desk, and swore loudly. Only problem was that I suddenly had a thick Brooklyn accent, and thought I was a 1940s mobster for 30 seconds upon waking.

I LOVE STUFF LIKE THIS?

I did the same thing once, where when I woke up I seriously thought I was Superman for at least a good minute or so. I was reaching for my phone thinking, “Oh my God, I’ve been hiding it this whole time, I’ve gotta tell my boyfriend I’m superman.” And as I was very tiredly and sloppily writing the text I stopped what I was doing and was like, “What the fuck.”

Yes. More. I need more stories.

one morning i woke up absolutely convinced that my mom had faked her husbands death for tax purposes and i was so mad cuz i had to go to his stupid funeral with his dumb family and i thought we had finally gotten rid of him all for it to be a lie then like half an hour later im like “wait…” I told her about it later and she told me faking his death wouldnt have done much for her tax wise at all

Mine are always like “Oh fuck someone I love has died.” which is pretty scary to wake up to. But my favorite wtf one is that I woke up and I expected to wake up like at 12pm, I’d set an alarm for it etc….

I woke up at 8pm.

My immediate reaction to it being dark outside?

“Oh fuck it’s nuclear winter”

I once dreamed that I was a pirate tying a lot of knots for sail-hoisting purposes. Woke up to find that I’d wrapped our kitten in about three blankets. He wouldn’t sleep within arm’s reach of me for two years after that.

Another time, I was woken up by lightning striking a tree in our yard, and I genuinely thought I was somewhere to do with cannons for about 10 seconds. 

And then there was that time I was dreaming about boring house things, walked outside, found a canyon in our yard, woke up, got out of bed, walked downstairs, went outside, saw a flying saucer, woke up, got out of bed, had breakfast, and spent the whole day quietly expecting that I was about to wake up.

Brains are weird and sometimes they forget how to reality. 

Oh my god I love this.

My sister once went and woke up or dad to ask for lunch money and he asked her if she’d gotten the rubies yet and she said no and he told she had to get the rubies first and so she left and came back a little while later to ask again and he asked her if she’d gotten the rubies yet and she said yes and he told her okay and that she could take the $10 in his wallet.

I once had a dream that my house (and everything in it) was being claimed by loan sharks because I was so poor/in debt/or something, in my dream. I then woke up panicking/crying and looking around, confused as to why everything was still in my room. It took at least 20 seconds for me to figure out why. 

I came out of like 1 second of microsleep with the idea that Plants vs. Zombies had introduced a Charging Mooseflower.

I once woke up, and very deliberately bashed my head into the wall. For some reason I thought that was really important to do.

mine are always like weird random phrases that are just in my head and seem vitally important like one time i woke and thought to myself “a dead man’s mouth must taste like cabbage”

once while in a hotel room i had a nightmare about trying to escape from a nuclear apocalypse. i failed, and got asploded. my mental movie screen went black for a long moment, and then i woke up to see the words SHIT HAPPENS written on the hotel room wall in cheerful birthday cake cursive.

i stared at this for what felt like a good 15 minutes, checking that yes i was definitely awake, my spouse was snoring behind me, i was in the hotel room where i was supposed to be, and yet the words were definitely right there… until suddenly they weren’t, and it was just the shadow of a tree outside.

being wide awake in every way except the shadows are randomly making fun of your cold war PTSD… that was the weirdest goddamn morning.

I have woken up and punched the nearest wall to my bed on several occasions

Another time I woke up and head butted a wall

I woke a friend up for work once and she was just like “so it’s time to make the shields for the invasion?” She didn’t understand why I was laughing for like 3 minutes

I was on holiday in Japan about three months after I finished my masters degree, and woke up at about 4am absolutely convinced I had an assignment due in the morning that I’d not yet started or submitted… to the point that I got out of bed, turned my laptop on and was about to start it. It only then occurred to me, when staring at the backlit screen, that the degree ended months ago, that I was not in my bedroom, and I was in another bloody country trying to relax.

I once woke up to the fire alarm and a room filled with smoke, only to realize five panic stricken seconds later that it was a car alarm outside and I was staring at my white wall.

i woke up in my hotel room in australia to someone having pulled the fire alarm but i was completely convinced it was a tsunami alarm and that I could see the wave right outside the window and i just fuckin bolted out that room and left my family behind and i almost ran straight out the from door until some people in the lobby were like excuse me miss what the hell are you doing

I distinctly remember waking up once and my first, instant thought was the specific phrase “wait…aliens aren’t allowed to ride bicycles…”

I once had a very involved dream about defending a castle with a very large, oddly shaped moat. I woke up with the word “Caerphilly” in my head and the absolute certainty that I needed to get to the castle. My mom thought my subconscious was telling me “carefully,” but I was convinced it was the name of the castle. I googled it. Caerphilly Castle is in Wales. And it has a very large, oddly shaped moat. I have never been to Wales.

I once woke up one morning to see a man’s big hairy leg sticking out from under the covers in my bed. I flipped out for a good few seconds before I realized that it was, in fact, my own unshaven leg.

Incredible

i once woke up convinced that my parents had been divorced for years and I lived with dad and that I was trying to get on good terms with mom and my younger sisters. I had a slightly edgy-er mentality up til i started eating breakfast and had to stop and think my life over.

also this morning I woke up thinking “I need to help grandma fix the car so we can drive thru the water to escape the zombies.”

I once woke up convinced I had slept through my final and missed my train home

I jumped out bed, threw clothes on and was halfway through packing my backpack before I realised that a) it was a Sunday 2) the semester was over and c) there is literally no train from Connecticut to Texas

I was still asleep but swore I’d woken up and checked my bank balance on my phone. The number was significantly lower than it should be and I checked the purchase history, which showed like $600 had been spent on like drag queen wigs and another $200 on colored contacts so I freaked out. I forced myself awake and checked my phone to assure that no, a drag queen did not steal my identity for outfit supplies.

Another time I took a nap in college, dreamed I woke up, did homework, went to dinner, etc. I didn’t notice it was a dream til I was taking my makeup off and tiny beetles started swarming out of my eye. I woke up and realized I’d been asleep for twenty minutes and that five hours didn’t happen. I haven’t taken naps much since then.

The least fun time was waking very suddenly in my pitch dark room, sitting up and looking around, trying to lay back down, and I missed the bed so I fell and my face hit the floor. Five feet down. (Faces bleed a lot so now I have a scar in my eyebrow, whoops)

One time on a road trip the hotel my family was staying at had the fire alarm go off. My immediate response to the alarm was to stand up and tell every one “I’ve got this”, then promptly crawl under the table and unplug the lamp. I was 300% sure that the lamp had caused the noise and that unplugging it would fix everything. When that didn’t work I went for the tv chord… My mom had to pull me out from under a desk so we could evacuate the building.

lord-kitschener:

wearitcounts:

wearitcounts:

this dog that i dogsit for is an actual angel sent from heaven, evidence:

  • he’s 100 lbs and so gentle i don’t need any special collar or leash or harness to walk him, ever
  • he was meant to be a service dog but he was too shy so he became a rescue, can u even imagine
  • so well behaved he waits for me at the tops and bottoms of flights of stairs until i tell him it’s okay to go ahead up/down the next flight
  • he somehow communicates to his dads how much he loves me bc they tell me every time i leave and they come back he’s sad ?? my son !
  • he knows that if it rains or snows or he gets wet he needs to wait at the bottom of the stairs inside their condo to be towel dried
  • he is trained to towel dry himself; i hold out the towel and he wiggles his body through it back and forth until i dry his tail and that’s his signal to go ahead and go inside
  • he hangs out by my feet all evening making big impatient huffing noises until i go in the bedroom with him and sit up in bed doing whatever i’m doing so he can sleep by me

like i feel the need to reblog this post bc i neglected to include evidence:

  • loves pets and attention but is shy so once given pets and attention basically loses his mind and rubs his face all over you while not knowing what to do with his entire 100 lbs self
  • always a slut for chin scratches
  • spots of white on chest and toes and chin
  • will pretend to be scary at men when they come into the house until i reassure him it’s ok
  • other dogs Love him bc he’s so big and so sweet and so chill and it’s fun to walk the best looking dog who is also the nicest dog while everyone around you is like “wow ur dog is so cool” like thanks i made him
  • if u ask him ‘who’s a good boy?!?!’ he seems genuinely concerned it might not be him until you confirm such to be true

Please always confirm to him that he is not only a good boy but the best boy

things-are-looking-up-oh-finally:

blackkatmagic:

damaramegido:

wheeloffortune-design:

amythical-llama:

bassflutes:

emiliusthegreat:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

alectually:

bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella:

bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella:

priestessamy:

boobyguy:

jaxxgarcia:

debrides:

6slut:

you ever see girls that are so pretty that you don’t know what to do with yourself

i made a pretty girl laugh w/a silly joke and i got so flustered that i apologized

this pretty girl told me my hair was cute and touched it briefly and I couldn’t form full sentences for a solid 10 minutes.

at a football game a pretty girl told me i was cute and she also called me kiddo and i couldnt play my instrument right for the rest of the night

every girl I see is pretty, I am in a constant state of paralysis

this pretty girl offered to teach me how to longboard and when she was teaching me how to balance she put her hands on my hips and I felt my soul leave my body

one time a pretty girl called me “gorgeous” and I was so shocked and flustered that I literally cried right in front of her

today a pretty girl walked me out of class and i was surprised when she kept walking even though we reached her bus stop and i asked her where she was heading and she said “oh i just wanted to walk you to wherever you’re going” and we both blushed

at work this summer there was a pretty girl who came in multiple times a week and every single day she showed up I would lose the ability to form coherent sentences for at least ten minutes

A pretty cashier at the campus store told me I was pretty and I got so flustered that when I went back to my room I had to lay down for half an hour and my roommate was starting to get concerned. 

There’s a REALLY pretty girl in my band class and she’s three chairs away from me and every time I even glance up at her she looks back and smiles at me and I forget how to read music

This entire post just added 10 years to my life and soul

Once I was getting off the bus and there was a girl so beautiful next to me that I tripped and walked into a bus pole.

honestly me every time i see my gf, like holy shit, but also once in college i ran across this weird gothy/pseudo-victorian girl and she was so painfully pretty that i died

Once I met a girl so pretty I lost all ability to differentiate between languages and gave her my coffee order in three different ones mashed together.

(She laughed at me, but that’s okay, because she married me two years later.)

This thread ended in the best possible way. I hope y’all stay pure