Today I walk into work and there are a ton of people in my building and it’s kind of a mess and everyone is talking and I sort of just blurt out:
“Man, it’s a zoo in here!”
Everyone stopped and looked at me as though I had 2 heads.
Then I realized.
I work at a zoo.
Update: my boss was talking about how he was really excited for an entire week of vacation and was wondering what he should do, so I looked him dead in the eye and told him, with a straight face,
“You should visit the local Zoo, I heard it’s really nice.”
Under pain of death I am no longer allowed to make any zoo related jokes.
Part three: I was cleaning the squirrel monkeys and one of them kept trying to climb up me so I sort of just yelled
“WILL YOU STOP MONKEYING AROUND??”
I forgot my boss was in the next room and he walked and just glared at me
Another update:
I was in the reptile house and one of the new interns looked like they needed some help grabbing a snake so I just blurted out:
“Let me slither on over there and help”
They actually appreciated the pun XD
So I’m in the kangaroo yard and my boss says “they need more water, hop to it.” And I kind of look at him not sure if he said that on purpose but he looks back with such horror and just whispers “I hope you’re happy” and walks away.
If anyone tries to tell you that Shakespeare is stuffy or boring or highbrow, just remember that the word “nothing” was used in Elizabethan era slang as a euphemism for “vagina”.
Shakespeare has a play called “Much Ado About Nothing”, which you could basically read in modern slang as “Freaking Out Over Pussy”. And that’s pretty much exactly what happens in the play.
It’s also a pun with a third meaning. There’s the sex sense of much ado about “nothing”, there’s the obvious sense that people today see, and then there’s the fact that in Shakespeare’s day, “nothing” was pronounced pretty much the same as “noting”, which was a term used for gossip. So, “Flamewar Over Rumors” works as a title interpretation, too.
The reason we call Shakespeare a genius is that he can make a pussy joke in the same exact words he uses to make biting social commentary about letting unverified gossip take over the discourse.
So like.
A truly accurate modern translation would be “I Cunt Believe He Said That”?
@copperbadge YOU GO AND SIT AMONG THE MUSTARDS AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE
I truly feel the ghost of Shakespeare has never been more proud of me.
I feel Shakespeare’s approval in this chili’s tonight
hey did anyone hear the news that scientists have actually been able to figure out the most common key that old pirate shanties were sang in
imo it’s really interesting? like, they found and analysed lots and lots of sheet music that they suspect was inspired by all these old shanties, since all the music was written by people who are believed to have been former sailors or even former pirates. and the neat part is that statistically speaking almost 90% of them are written in the same key. i mean, obviously it’s not confirmed 100%, but it looks like almost all pirate shanties were sang in a high C
Steel Phoenix Studios 