Have reached the point in Ashlesha with the Breakfast Brick.
Brain goes : I wonder if @deadcatwithaflamethrower has an actual recipe for the Brick, and if not I want to figure it out
…*headdesk*
Guess who really does have a recipe for Breakfast Brick? 😀
BREAKFAST BRICK (More delicious than it sounds.)
One 10oz. box of brown rice cereal–or normal Rice Krispies. Heathens.
2 TBSP. of minced ginger (NO sulfites are preservatives or flavors in that; fresh is best but jars without extra crap in them exist.)
3 jumbo brown eggs (Use white if you must. Double-heathens.) 4 Egg whites will also be fine if you can’t have sulfas like egg yolks.
1 full stick of salted organic butter (or whatever butter but NOT margarine)
6 TBSP. evaporated cane juice (granulated sugar, triple heathens)
1 tsp. salt
Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees (convection) or 425 degrees (non-convection).
Grease a cookie sheet that’s at least 9×12 that has edges–not a flat pan, but not a deep one, either. Spray high-heat coconut oil works; Spectrum shortening does also. (Other shortenings and sprays may change the flavor profile.)
Get a big microwave-safe mixing bowl. Put in the stick of butter and zap it until it melts, or melt it in a stove pan before pouring it into the mixing bowl. Add eggs, ginger, sugar, and salt; whisk together until uniformly mixed and the eggs are trying to be fluffy. (Don’t use a blender; that’s overdoing it.)
Pour the entire 10oz of cereal into your concoction and mix with a big spoon until cereal is evenly coated. It won’t be sodden, but if it seems like you have cereal that doesn’t have any concoction on it at all, whisk up another egg in a different bowl and pour it in.
Poor the big glob of cereal stuff onto your greased cookie sheet. Use hands coated with another spray of coconut oil or a sheet of saran wrap to press the cereal glob into more a less a 1/2″ to 1″ high shape that fills the cookie sheet.Bake for 5-7 minutes. That’s just enough time for the eggs to cook, because you don’t want to eat them raw…well, usually you don’t.
Remove from oven, allow to cool, and then start yanking off pieces and eating them. They are legit nom, which is terrifying.
So it’s Flu Season again, and this recipe for Tea To Fix What Ails You was given to me by a Christian friend, and I’ve taken to calling it JESUS TEA due to it’s miraculous properties. Even though it, technically, contains no tea. This tea is as caffinie-free as anything processed in a US plant can get, but be sure to check the provenance and all ingredients in case of allergies.
You will Need:
A Bigass Pot, becuase this is something you make in large quantities
working stovetop
those lil cloth sachets you use for wassail/empty teabags/those lil reuseable loose-leaf tea steepers.
Recipe:
about a quart of water
1 cup apple cider
about half a lemon’s worth of juice
a shitwhack of honey- try to get as local as possible and generally the less-processed the better if you want to build a resistance to local allergens. If you have allergy concerns or don’t like the taste of honey, go ahead and use more processed stuff/another sweetener instead.
three tablespoons/three bags chamomile tea
three tablespoons/three bags rooibos tea
teaspoon crushed cloves
1 cinnamon stick (more if you like it spicier)
¼ tsp nutmeg
1/8 tsp cayenne or white pepper
Bring water to a simmer in the pot. Add the chamomile, rooibos and spices to steep about 4-5 minutes or longer if you like tea-flavored tar which given you have the flu you probably do. Add Cider, Lemon Juice and Honey until dissolved. Drink all of this in the course of an hour to stay hydrated, make more pots as needed or until you pass out.
FOR MAXIMUM EFFECTIVENESS: gargle warm salt water first for as long as you can, it’ll break up the mucus in your throat and soothe the soreness.
This stuff is hecking delicious, and my dad claims it cured his cold. I’ve taken to drinking it just because it tastes good! Thank you for sharing! 😀 I also found that you can freeze this stuff in convenient single serving sizes, ready to be heated in the microwave when you don’t have enough spoons to make it fresh. Granted fresh is usually best for most food and drinks, but it’s still good.
I also calculated a single serving version, which I’m putting here in case anyone wants to make it that way:
1 cup hot water
¼ cup apple cider (or more, I prefer 1/3 cup)
1 tbsp honey (or more, to taste)
a dash of lemon juice
½ tsp spice mixture
1 ½ tbsp tea mixture
Mix the spices together in one container, and mix the two kinds of tea together in another. Measure out of these the above amounts. (Don’t try to store the two things together, the spices will sink to the bottom and you won’t get the right measurements.)
Use a tea infuser/tea bag/cheesecloth/whatever to keep the herb bits from floating off into your drink. Steep for the usual 4-5 minutes, then add the cider, honey, and lemon.
Side note: ground cloves is cheaper for me so I use ½ tsp of
that instead of 1 of whole. I also like cinnamon a lot so I use ¼ tsp
ground cinnamon instead of a stick (also sticks are really expensive here). If you use a stick, break it into
little pieces. The downside of ground cinnamon is that it
kind of congeals if you don’t stir it periodically, so keep a spoon
handy as you drink.
Since people have been asking for this (I guess the flu/common cold is going around agian), have it again, NOW WITH SINGLE SERVING SIZE, THANK YOU @snowfox102 for doing the math for me!
Is it possible to substitute the chamomile for something else?
Pretty much any herbal tea but mint will work? Rose hip’s good, or you can just double the rooibos. You can even put in black or green tea. I don’t becuase those both have caffiene and I want to be awake as little as possible when I’m sick.
What the absolute fuck is a shitwack of honey?
Once tea tarts cooling down* start adding honey. Keep adding honey. Your significant other or parents will notice and ask “Isn’t that enough honey?” “No.” You rasp, throat raw. “I need the magic bug juice too heal me.” “I think we should check your fever again.” they say. “When I’m fucking done.” You rasp, sounding like gollum with a four-packs-a-day habit. Eventually, there will be enough.
that, is a “Shitwhack”
*boiling honey gets rid of 90% of it’s goodness, so let the tea cool down to drinking temp before adding honey.
Just here to remind you to get your flu shot. And tea is not a substitution for antivirals if you do get the flu.
You are completely right! Jesus Tea will only help soothe your suffering, not prevent infection. Also Influenza is hella dangerous and DOES kill people, so get vaccinated for your safety and the safety of your immunocompromised friends!
The menthol in mint tastes REALLY weird with the other ingredients, that’s all. Like drinking OJ after brushing your teeth.
Some other repeat questions:
-If you don’t hvae acess to Cider, regular Apple Juice works just fine, just check the nutritional information to make sure it’s the 100% DV vitamin C stuff, we want you you feel better ASAP. If you like OJ, that can work too.
-Honey is in here specifically for it’s antibacterial and allergy-reliveing properties, and fruit-based honey substitutes will NOT give you the same benefits.
-If you can’t do honey for whatever reason, sub in your favorite non-sugar sweetener because Sugar/fructose/sucrose/agave will mess with the ability fo your throat cells to retain/release water and make your throat feel WAAAAAAY worse. Aspartame, Saccharin and Stevia won’t aggravate you throat much.
-If you can’t have chamomile, pretty much any Herbal Tea or Tisane will work, as will green tea. The exception is anything that contains St. John’s Wort, which interacts dangerously with pseudoephedrine andacetaminophen, whic are in basically every cold medication available without a perscription in the US.
-If you don’t want roobois, any dark and spicy kind of tea will work- rose hip, most black teas, etc.
-I tend to reccomend against anythign that has caffine becuase being concious with the flu is awful and you need to sleep as much as possible.
-If you don’t like any of the spices, feel free to sub them for something else! The point of those is to add a bit of heat/pepperiness to the tea to help unclog sinuses. If you’re a heat fiend like some of my friends, you can put sriracha in there if you want.
-THE SALT RINSE BEFOREHAND IS KEY. gargling with lukewarm saltwater or using a saline rinse will flush out congestion and help the Jesus Tea work it’s magic more effectively.
To Reiterate: Jesus Tea will only make you feel slightly less miserable and it not a substitute for medical care. Get vaccinated early and often, and if you develop a high fever or other medically worrisome symptoms, get to a healthcare professional ASAP.
I’m rebloging this solely for the measurements. A shitwhack of honey
It’s that time of Year again! Reblogging this long version with additonal NoteS:
Where I come from in the US, “Apple Cider” referes to the cloudy brown JUICE you can get in the fall, and is most reccomended because it tends to have the most Vitamin C and Trace minerals. Don’t drink alcohol while you are sick- your liver is already working overtime and alcohol can interact dangerously with cold meds.
GET VACCINATED ASAP!!! PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR FRIENDS!!!
If you are sick for more than 7 days or develop a fever over 100 degrees, please see a doctor immediately. Influenza is still a very dangerous virus.
The version I know is called Satan Tea: quarter cup of cider vinegar, teaspoons of crushed garlic and ginger (you know, the ‘ready to cook’ stuff), couple of teaspoons of chilli sauce, hot water, add honey. Tastes like you just gargled Satan’s ballsack, but the water vapourises everything and gets all the good antibacterial stuff it into your sinuses and lungs. You will feel less runny/stuffed up without your throat being dry. For extra regret/effectiveness, add a powdered lemsip sachet. You may also decide to get better just to avoid it – I theorise that was the original intent behind it.
Lembas Bread (Lord of the Rings “authentic” Elvish bread)
Ingredients:
2 ½ cups of flour (I used bread flour but you can use all purpous flour too) 1 tablespoon of baking powder ¼ teaspoon of salt ½ cup of butter (melted) 1/3 cup of brown sugar 1 teaspoon of cinnamon ½ teaspoon honey 2/3 cup of heavy whipping cream ½ teaspoon of vanilla
Directions:
Preheat oven to 425°F. Mix the flour, baking powder and salt into a large bowl. Add the butter and mix well till fine granules (easiest way is with an electric mixer). Then add the sugar and cinnamon, and mix them thoroughly.
Finally add the cream, honey, and vanilla and stir until a nice, thick dough forms.
Roll the dough out about ½ in thickness. Cut out 3-inch squares and transfer the dough to a cookie sheet.Criss-cross each square from corner-to-corner with a knife, lightly (not cutting through the dough).
Bake for about 12 minutes or more (depending on the thickness of the bread) until it is set and lightly golden.
***Let cool completely before eating, this bread tastes better room temperature and dry. Also for more flavor you can add more cinnamon or other spices***
If y’all use a decent box mix and use melted butter instead of vegetable oil, an extra egg, and milk instead of water, no one can tell the difference. I sure as hell can’t.
Also, if you add a little almond extract to vanilla cake, or a little coffee to chocolate cake, it sends it through the roof.
This concludes me attempting to be helpful.
yo I can vouch for this I’ve done this for the last few cakes I’ve made and holy crap it makes suuuuch a difference the cake is still fluffy, but it also seems more dense, and it doesn’t dry out like at all you can leave it uncovered on the counter all day after being cut into, and it won’t get all crusty and dry this is an amazing way to take your cakes to the next level
If you’re making sweet shortcrust pastry, try grating fresh ginger into it (I freeze my ginger so it grates easily and finely). About a tsp per pound of pastry. It gives the pastry a lovely fresh and light flavour without the overwhelming flavour you’d get from ground ginger.
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