today some guy very confidently ordered a “Busted Nut Parfait” on drive thru without hesitation and i had to ask if he meant a peanut buster parfait without crying
update: today someone asked for a peanut buster parfait with “light syrup and heavy nut” and i laughed from the ice cream machine and he heard me
I think we’re kind of starting to get away from this but have y’all noticed how in the vast majority of popular media, sex scenes don’t actually tend to involve a lot of talking/fumbling/awkwardness unless it’s for humor or to indicate that the people having sex are a.) probably Wrong for each other somehow or b.) inexperienced, possibly having sex for the first time?
but “good” sex, between people who are experienced and In Love etc, is almost always effortlessly athletic and steamy and they somehow telepathically know exactly what to do. I’m not talking about knowing what their lover enjoys, that’s entirely feasible, but they never even have to coordinate what they’re doing. there’s no “do you want me on top?” or “do you want to do [x]?” or accidentally getting in each other’s way.
the overwhelming message that I’ve always gotten from pop culture is that Good Sex happens without communication and, more dangerously, that needing to communicate is a sign that you’re somehow bad at sex, when in reality that’s almost definitely a sign that you’re, you know, a considerate partner who actually gives a shit about people being comfortable when they have sex with you.
why doesn’t this have more notes
because I posted it less than 12 hours ago; give it time, friend
JESUS CHRIST CAN’T YOU TELL THEY’RE–oh, oh wait a minute, hold on. Phone’s ringing.
Yeah? What’s up? No, I was just about to tell these guys about the–yeah I know, but I was telling these people that the picture is of–ooh, for dinner? Hmm, maybe. Okay, see you then.
…What was I saying?
Oh, you sweet summer children, they’re–
SHIT FUCK HOLD ON THE CAT’S ON FIRE
Well, see, what they are is – *thunderous noises from construction project nearby*
Really? Honestly, anyone who’s been on the internet could see that these are – *rumbling crash as the ceiling falls in*
Like seriously I wish we had a more comprehensive sex education program in the U.S. You know how many guys I know who had no idea an unaroused vagina is only 2-3 inches deep? Or that the cervix raises up when aroused to accommodate dick? Or that if a girl is “tight” that generally means she’s not turned on and you’re shitty in bed? Or that the cervix has an entire cycle it goes through throughout the month where is changes hardness, placement in the vagina, wetness? Like, when you’re ovulating your cervix gets soft and raises high up into the vagina and your hormones get you really horny. It’s like natures way of moving the furniture around and fluffing the pillow for dick because it wants to get pregnant. And before menstruation, it gets really hard and low in the vagina. It’s basically inactivating it’s Facebook and saying “I just need some alone time for a few days”
Ladies and gentlemen, take a moment to learn about vaginas. Men, take an interest into your woman’s menstrual cycle!
U.S. Needs better sex Ed because I’m a 23 year old woman and didn’t even know all of this
Ok I didn’t know about the cervix thing until recently and I always wondered why sometimes sex would be painful and other times it would be fine.
This is what they don’t teach you in school that you really need to know.
Very true. I recommend Animal by Sara Pascoe for eeeeveryone on this website. It not only explains so much about the female experience of heterosexual sex that sex education glances over or misses out, it provides great food for thought about the way society regards female sex and the female body the ways in which we internalise that. It’s both a warm and funny autobiographical tale and a look at the current understanding of evolutionary biology.
Even if you feel pretty well informed about the biology of sex (and I’m not much younger than the author herself and I learned stuff!), it’s worth it to question assumptions and attitudes you don’t even necessarily realise you have.
It also focuses on the science of love at least as much as the mechanics of sex. Anyone involving themselves in heterosexual boinking and/or relationships would get a lot from it.
the worst thing about spending your life on the internet is that when you’re playing a game like cards against humanity at a party you’re the person who has to explain what things like bukkake are
I’m the guy who literally explained what felching is to his linguistics class (and then had to clarify that no, gerbils are not involved, no that is not a real thing, wtf) as well as the guy who had to explain furries to his working group in a professional meeting.
I once had to explain to colleagues what teabagging is when a discussion of the Tea Party went awry.
I used to work customer service for an MMO dealing with reports of players violating the ToS; everything from hacks to harassment to using banned language. The team was international and sometimes people didn’t know why something was reported as offensive, and I was always the one in the group chat trying to be professional while saying things like “it refers to hairless female genitalia” or “it’s a word for a sex act best not described here.”
have you ever had a weird sort of crush on one of your friends where you cant actually tell if its a crush or not??? do i want to kiss you?? do i just really enjoy being your friend????? who knows? not me
Hi there I’m here to unnecessarily add that this is called alterous attraction! It’s basically ambiguous attraction that’s indistinguishable between platonic and romantic and/or sexual attraction. It’s not uncommon to feel alterous attraction towards friends/squishes/crushes. This post describes it pretty well, actually. In my experience, it’s like… I’d be cool with dating this person but being their friend is just as good. Like I wouldn’t actively start a romantic relationship, but I wouldn’t turn one down. So yeah! Alterous attraction. It’s nice but confusing.
I DIDNT KNOW THERE WAS A WORD FOR IT.
What the…there’s a freakin word for it woah
That is almost entirely my experience of attraction, huh.
Steel Phoenix Studios 