OH GOD NO BUT THAT WOULD BE PERFECT. how did the jedi not think of that?
what is anakin’s biggest weakness? attachments.
you know who needs lots of attachment? babies. small children.
anakin should not have been made to study murder: he should have been put in charge of Small Things. He would have bonded with all of them instantly, and it would have given his life Meaning and Purpose.
He’d bond with the kids, but he’d be able to move on because they are Bigger now and they have to go to the Big Kid Class but he still sees them around all the time, and it finally teaches him how to let go of his attachments??? He’d find a kid that he’s particularly fond of and go to Obi-Wan and say “I have found your newest padawan.”
this could have fixed so. many. things. ;_____;
Heh, and Anakin would keep picking Obi-Wan’s padawans for him, and it would be annoying but damn if he wasn’t right every single time.
BUT CAN YOU
JUST IMAGINE HOW ANNOYED PALPATINE WOULD BE his life would be never-ending
string of trying to get a hold of Anakin (I mean, would Anakin give him a time of day if he can spend it with small kids who absolutely adore him instead?)
he keeps
comming over the years, but it’s always like
BEEP
“Anakin, my
boy, we haven’t seen each other in a while—“
“I’m sorry,
Chancellor, now’s not the best time. I’m tutoring a class.”
BEEP
“My dear
boy, I wonder if we could meet for a chat—“
“Well, it
can’t be this week, we’re going to Ilum, but maybe later…”
BEEP
“Anakin,
I’d like to—“
“I’m
terribly sorry, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan Kenobi answers. The apologetic tone might
be just a tad exaggerated. “Anakin is on a trip with younglings, he
must’ve left his comlink behind accidentally.”
BEEP
“You’ve
reached Anakin Skywalker’s private comlink. Leave the message after the tone.”
BEEP
“It’s such
a shame that Council doesn’t consider sending you on this campaign, considering
the lightsaber skills you demonstrated when I was last visiting the Temple,
Anakin.”
“Thank you,
Chancellor, but this is precisely why I need to stay behind. In fact just the
last week, the Masters decided I should take over some advanced lightsaber
classes, considering senior Padawans accompanying their Masters on the frontlines
need the training. I might take the Bear Clan along, make it a learning
opportunity for the young ones—“
Palpatine
closes his eyes slowly. He knows this from experience; Anakin won’t let himself
be budged from the topic of little monsters for at least another half an hour.
BEEP
“Ah,
Chancellor Palpatine. Anakin left his comlink behind again, he’s in class—“
BEEP
“Anakin, I
hoped you—“
“Oh! Chancellor,”
the voice on the other end is distinctly female, and Palpatine recognizes it after
a second. Kenobi’s second Padawan. He barely restrains the urge to gnash his
teeth. “Um, Skyg—I mean, Master Skywalker can’t pick up now. I can tell him you
called? It’s just that he was helping me with forms, and he forgot his comlink,
and he’s probably already in crèche…”
BEEP
Then there’s
that one time when an actual youngling picks up the call. The less said about his
reaction to that incident, the better.
BEEP
“—fortunately,
they were all right in the end. But in my opinion, this should never happened
in the first place, Chancellor.”
Palpatine
snaps awake. Was that… was that anger? Finally, the hours of listening to
worthless drivel about Jedi younglings paid off.
“My boy, I
absolutely agree,” he begins slyly, but before he can continue, Anakin steamrolls
on.
“I think Jedi
Order is too deeply entwined in the conflict! I honestly don’t think even
senior Padawans should be anywhere near battles, not to mention in command of
GAR, but now even younglings are acceptable targets for Separatists and pirates!
Master Yoda and I were talking about this lately, and—“
Palpatine
swallows a scream of rage with some difficulty.
BEEP
“Forgot his
comlink again, Master Skywalker has. With younglings, he is.”
Slaughtering
younglings moved to the top on the list of things Darth Sidious will do after
taking over galaxy some time ago.
this post keeps getting better and better
Since this post is back on my dash, let me add something I was thinking about lately, which is this Anakin & Obi-Wan #1 page:
More specifically, the last four panels.
Stars
above, just look at this smarmy smile. Mace Windu might be saying “Of
course, Chancellor”, but he’s hard-pressed to think of something he’d like to
agree with less.
“The
Jedi are under the Senate’s judistriction.”
It’s
completely innocent, unremarkable, one hundred percent factually true statement.
It’s also said in the most blandly obnoxious tone one can imagine. A tone which
upon being heard is guaranteed to have blood pressure of the recipient going through
the roof.
(You could
find Master Windu in the Room of Thousand Fountains a few hours later. (“The
Jedi are under the Senate’s judistriction.”) You wouldn’t know it by
looking at him, but he’d be meditating away a very un-Jedi-like urge to rip a
certain graying head off.)
A few weeks
pass. Mace manages to put this unfortunate conversation out of his mind almost entirely.
He’s sitting together with Yoda, discussing everyday Order matters.
“Visit us
again, Chancellor will,” Yoda notes after they schedule a joint training
exercise for Padawans for tomorrow.
(“The
Jedi are under the Senate’s judistriction.”)
(”Send
him to me.”)
Windu
stares at his flimsiplast with unseeing eyes for a moment, carefully releasing
sudden spike of annoyance into the Force, before turning to the
Grandmaster.
“There are
still few mission to assign,” he remarks noncommittally.
(The next
day, Master Kenobi and Padawan Skywalker are on a transport to some swampy
planet in Mid-Rim. They both privately wonder why Master Windu is pissed off at
them; they both for once finding their consciences clear; they both arrive at
the inevitable conclusion that the other must be at fault; and they both decide
magnanimously to not embarrass their companion by asking what the hell they did.)
Mace Windu
absolutely does not let this petty act of revenge completely justified assignment
buoy his mood during next meeting with Chancellor (and several after that).
A month
passes, then another.
One sunny
afternoon, strolling through the Temple halls, Mace Windu happens upon
unwelcome visage of Chancellor Palpatine.
“Chancellor,”
he stops to greet the politician. His voice has just the right amount of polite
inquiry in it, and no one would know that somewhere deep in his soul, a more punctuated
question echoes. What the kriff are you doing here.
“Master
Windu,” the Chancellor replies, and no one knows this either, but he’s not
stopping just to make small talk with the Jedi. The rules of propriety and
social niceties are last thing on his mind, because a vanishingly rare
opportunity for someone in his position just presented itself.
It’s the
opportunity to gloat.
It’s a
little thing, really, but it counts.
“I’m just
on my way to meet Anakin,” he smiles. “Since my schedule isn’t full for once.”
A Jedi Master
of Mace Windu’s caliber has too much poise to let his eye twitch.
“Isn’t he
in class?” Mace inquires. Wouldn’t it just be wonderful, if Skywalker was busy right this minute.
“I wouldn’t
presume to interrupt him then! No, I commed ahead and Anakin told me his
afternoon is free.”
Jedi accept
both victory and defeat with the same serene dignity, for reveling in either is
not their way. Thus Master Windu inclines his head slightly, says “I see,” and
bids the Chancellor a good afternoon.
(“The
Jedi are under the Senate’s judistriction.”)
Those words
most definitely did not haunt Mace Windu, for he did not lay awake this night,
did not curse Anakin Skywalker for handing out his private comm number to
politicians, and did not wonder what other activities beside gossiping with
Chancellor of the Republic he could assign to arrogant Padawans with far, far
too much time on their hands (he checked Skywalker’s schedule; the boy indeed ought
have been in afternoon class, if not for the fact that he tested out of it).
Well,
alright, maybe he did. But only for a few moments, before letting the Force
carry away the irritation, trusting that the cosmic energy would help him to
realize how incredibly unimportant is his dislike of Chancellor Palpatine’s
overbearing need to poke his nose into Jedi matters in general and training of
Anakin Skywalker in particular.
His trust
is rewarded the very next day.
It is well
known fact that Master Yoda is fond of younglings. Crechemasters have the
unspoken permission to bother him at any time of they with matters concerning
the little ones. Request for advice, reports about Yoda’s favorites, inquires
about Knights and Padawans who might be free to help out—it’s a background
noise whenever Mace accompanies the Grandmaster, which is most of the time.
“…they were
delighted with Padawan Secura, it’s a shame she and Master Vos had to leave so
urgently. Perhaps we can repeat this sometime later.”
“Oh?” Mace
interrupts the Crechemaster unexpectedly. “Why not have one of other Padawans
currently in Temple do it?”
“Do you
have someone in mind, Master Windu?”
It’s the
Will of the Force.
Master
Windu knows this, because it sings triumphantly around him as he discovers that
serendipitously known to him schedule of a particular Padawan—who tragically
missed out on the magic of crèche experience due to his unusual circumstances—complements
the Crechemaster’s plans perfectly in a way that leaves no time for visits from
entitled politicians.
“Yes. Yes,
I do,” Mace replies and puts Anakin Skywalker down for youngling-sitting duty
for the foreseeable future with a sense of job well-done.
Steel Phoenix Studios 